Forum: Arts / Pets

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Too much sadness...
By JoyNoellePremium member
On Tue Nov 08, 2005 09:53 AM

I can barely write this...my beloved cat Willie died yesterday. Out of the blue. When I got up he was in his usual spot next to my pillow and was fine. A little later he was in the middle of the bed and I sprayed some medicine on his back for some sores he had; as usual when I did
this, he tried to get away and looked less than thrilled. Just a normal...perfectly normal morning. About an hour or so later I went back into the bedroom and found him lying on the floor dead.

I cradled him in my lap for a couple hours and then my friend took him to my vet to have him cremated. There are no words to describe my sadness...I had no warning whatsoever that he was about to die. He was 14-1/2. This came three weeks to the day after my dog died. Of all the pets I have, Willie was my favorite, and I'm just heartbroken that he's gone...

30 Replies to Too much sadness...

re: Too much sadness...
By Munkensteinmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue Nov 08, 2005 08:50 PM
I'm so, so sorry for your losses, JN. As you know, I'm not good at saying whatever you're supposed to say...but I am pretty much crying right now, imagining what you're going through. Stay strong, hun. *mental hugs sent over the internet*
re: Too much sadness...
By hylndlasmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Wed Nov 09, 2005 03:27 PM
Oh no....
:(

Gosh Joy I am really very sorry.....wow Losing a Pet is hard. Losing two in a short amount of time plain old sucks.

*hugs* I wish there was something more I could say to make you feel better.

If you need a shoulder or ear PM me.
re: Too much sadness...
By JoyNoellePremium member
On Sat Nov 12, 2005 10:50 AM
Thanks for the warm thoughts, and thanks to all who've PMed me. I really appreciate the support. This has been, without question, one of the worst months of my life. I still can't quite get my brain around the idea that less than a month ago I had no idea my dog or my cat were about to die.

Losing Willie has been unbelievably difficult, and right now it feels like it's never going to get better. I know from many past experiences that it will get better over time, but right now that knowledge isn't helping much. I'm also doing my traditional "I'm NEVER getting another pet!" routine...only to be told by everyone I know that of course I will. But not now...
re: Too much sadness...
By Lalummember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Sun Nov 13, 2005 08:57 AM
I am so sorry *Hugs through moniter*. Like munk I am almost in tears. I know what it's like to loose a cat that I love. My cat died about two years ago, I had had him my whole life. I am really sorry for your loses though. Try looking for a new cat, I know that it may seen soon, but it will kinda take away that pain.
re: Too much sadness...
By annalex
On Sun Nov 13, 2005 09:03 AM
I'm really sorry to hear that. I have a dog now, but I've never lost a pet before, so i don't know what's it really like.
Don't forget Willie, so he will live forever in your memory
re: Too much sadness...
By JoyNoellePremium member
On Sun Nov 13, 2005 06:15 PM
There's something I've told several people via PMs, but I thought I'd add it to this thread. One of my other cats, Maggie May, looks almost EXACTLY like Willie. In fact, the whole reason I took notice of her was because she looked so much like him. So I adopted her from the SPCA and have had her for 4+ years. Now, when I see her--especially when she's in Willie's spot on my bed--I just burst into tears because she reminds me so much of Willie. Here are a few pictures to show what I mean:

This is Maggie:

Image hotlink - 'http://www.smartassproducts.com/tmp/ForDanceDotNet/MaggieMay_08-04-02.jpg'


This is Maggie on the left and Willie on the right; I called this their "matching bookends" look:

Image hotlink - 'http://www.smartassproducts.com/tmp/ForDanceDotNet/MaggieAndWillie.jpg'


And this is Willie:

Image hotlink - 'http://www.smartassproducts.com/tmp/ForDanceDotNet/Willie_08-15-02.jpg'
re: Too much sadness...
By hylndlasmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Nov 14, 2005 06:15 AM
*hugs*

He was a beautiful kitty....and he looks LOVED.

If I were an animal I would hope that I ended up in a household such as yours Joy.

By the way.....I LOVE the pictures of Maggie. Maybe its because I am a bit Biased being that my name is Maggie as well. :)

Hang in there hon....and if you need anything I am just a PM away.
re: Too much sadness...
By JoyNoellePremium member
On Mon Nov 14, 2005 11:13 AM
^ You're so sweet, Maggie. :)

When I adopted Maggie May, the SPCA had named her "Tabby May." I didn't really like that, but didn't want to change it dramatically since she was an older cat and was used to it. I've always loved Rod Stewart's "Maggie May," so I thought I'd change her name to that since it sounds similar.

I think my friend is going to pick up Willie's ashes today. We'd planned to try last Friday but I just wasn't ready yet. :(
re: Too much sadness...
By Lalummember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Nov 14, 2005 08:15 PM
Stay stonge! Do you still have maggie?
re: Too much sadness...
By ashybashymember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Thu Nov 17, 2005 08:22 AM
Edited by ashybashy (88403) on 2005-11-17 08:23:57
Hey :(

Awwww i know how you feel :(

I've had a lot of pets and they have all died for different reasons

My cat Oscar was very very ill

He had been ill for years (we didnt know that though)

He was blind, had an eye disease and a liver and kidney disease

We were all so shocked when we found this out

My mum took him to the vets and he said we had to get him out down

I was so upset and angry at myself that i didnt realise that he was unwell

My mum couldnt cope taking him to the vets so my gran had to

They picked me up from school and told me that oscar had DIED ( i didnt know he was getting put down )

My gran said he died peacefully on the table thingy in the vets

Then one day she let it slip that he had been put down

I was crying for days

Image hotlink - 'http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v228/ashton_turnbull/xOscarKittyx.jpg'

Thats a picture of Oscar

He was 13 i think when he got put down

So all im trying to say is .. i KNOW how you feel and i hope you are copying okay

Keep your chin up :)

Lots of Love x Ashton x
re: Too much sadness...
By JoyNoellePremium member
On Thu Nov 17, 2005 09:57 AM
Sculpey, yes I still have Maggie...and it's tearing me apart looking at her. Their faces were very different, but the rest of her body is so similar to Willie's it's almost unbearable to look at her. Yet at the same time, I want to hold her and be reminded of him...it's pretty weird.

Ashy, I'm so sorry about Oscar. He looks so sweet and pretty in that picture. It's hard losing any pet, but especially one you've had for so long.

When my friend brought Willie's ashes home, I was amazed at what a beautiful job they'd done. His ashes are in a small cedar chest with a brass nameplate on top with his name engraved in it, and a little padlock and key (we didn't open it--I couldn't look at his ashes yet). There's also a certificate with his name, my name, the date he died, and so on; they also included a pretty candle. It was truly beyond anything I could've imagined. I'm going to take some pictures of it all, at some point.
re: Too much sadness...
By Cindy3
On Sat Nov 19, 2005 06:33 PM
JoyNoelle, I am so sorry for you. I cannot even imagine how it is to lose a cat out of the blue like this. I think you did a wonderful thing by cradling him before taking him to the vet.

I feel that even though Wille is gone, one part of him will always be there with you. The wonderful memories.
re: Too much sadness... (karma: 1)
By ShadowLunaCatPremium member
On Sat Nov 19, 2005 07:01 PM
I am kind of twisted here. I am happy, because I found this thread, but I am very sad that you lost your good companion of many good years.

I kind of still hurt after losing my black Maine coon girl Sheba. She was the shadow of my shadow, went whereever I did, played, slept on the bed with me, was a great mischief and humor vane, had a v-e-r-y expressive face...

I remember I knew when something was wrong, because Sheba was sitting hunched on my bed, and not lying all spread out, or in a circular ball, with her head upside down. I went to pat her, and sat on the bed, and she growled. She never ever growled at me. I took her to the Vet, and after a week of trying this, attempting that, probing that, he said that she'd come down with liver cancer, and the cancer was winning. I had to put her to sleep, because she was in so much pain. I remember looking at her face, while the Vet put the needle in, and knowing she was going, but patting her.

It's the ache. It's the emptiness, it's (for me) taking the cat carrier home, empty. Not seeing her lovely face, not seeing her expressive eyes, or how she saw like a Jawa, with golden gleaming eyes in the backyard, while I raked, or while I did something out there, how she rolled around in the leaves, on her back, insisting that I come and pat her. If she saw that I was too depressed, she would grab one of my mother's woven throw-rugs, and put it on her back, and go flying across the floor, these two black paws ready to bat anything.

So, I am with you all the way. It might have been Willie's heart. The shock of the spray might have startled him too much, or, he might have had another common Maine coon problem - a heart murmur.

Arin, Sheba's brother, and a creamy, shadowed beige, is still around, and he's wonderful, but still, I miss Shebie, the way she looked at me, love and mischief in her eyes.

But Arin, he's pretty cool. And, for you, there's Maggie May. Who probably is grieving in her own way the way you are. There will be some differences in their personalities, but being owned by a cat is one of the most special things a human can experience.

Would it be possible to bond with Maggie May? She looks like a good, smart cat... I would encourage her to come, if she kept her distance from you.

Cats are special, and close cats are golden.

((JN))

Shadow.
re: Too much sadness...
By JoyNoellePremium member
On Thu Nov 24, 2005 10:09 AM
Shadow, you've expressed beautifully so many things I've been feeling. Thanks. :)

Maggie May has become much more accessible since Willie died--and that's saying a lot, considering she's never been a cuddly, snuggly type of cat. In fact, she's been downright grumpy! I've had her for 4-1/2 years, and it was apparent right from the get-go that she had been mistreated. You could tell from the way she interacted with people, cringing and growling if you even tried to pet her. She's come a long, long way since I adopted her, but in the past couple of weeks she's changed dramatically. I can pick her up now and hold her for a few minutes--she'll even purr occasionally! The hard thing is when I see her on the bed, particularly if her back is to me when I see her, because from that angle she looks *so* much like Willie. She's actually a tabby, while Willie appeared to be a Maine coon (as you noticed), but aside from their faces they were very similar looking.

I can't recall if I wrote this, and I don't want to go back and re-read my posts right now because it makes me too sad. When I found Willie dead, I initially thought it was Maggie. That's because Willie NEVER slept on the floor, but Maggie frequently does. She likes to lie on the carpet and roll around on her back, and she also sleeps there sometimes. So when I walked into the bedroom and saw the back of a cat that looked like Maggie, in an area where she is known to lie down or sleep, I assumed it was her. As I walked towards "her" I said, "Maggie, what are you doing down there?!", just being silly. When there was no response, my heart sank and I said "Maggie?" At that moment I KNEW the cat was dead...but then I took another step closer so I could see the face and that's when everything became surreal. I looked over at the bed and there sat Maggie...

Every day there's something else that comes up that reminds me of Willie and, honestly, I feel worse each day instead of better. There hasn't been a day since he died that I haven't cried...I just feel so empty.
re: Too much sadness...
By Clst_Skydancermember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Mon Dec 19, 2005 09:52 PM
Oh...I'm so sorry dear...I adore cats and I really know how you feel. My cat Mewie will be 5 next year and I'm dreading going off to study because I'm going to miss her so much!

My cat Felix died when I was 9. But the twist is that my dad accidently ran over him backing out of the driveway to go to church.

A horrible day.

I remember...Me, my big brother who also loves cats, and my dad were in the car. Dad backed out, and I was just glancing around. Then I heard him say, "Uh oh." And me, being the curious one said , "What?"

Then I saw it.

My poor Felix, rolling about in agony, all bloody....

*sniff*

I started bawling. My brother started crying.

Dad buried him in our backyard.

I'm very sorry for your loss. *hugs*
re: Too much sadness...
By JoyNoellePremium member
On Wed Dec 21, 2005 02:57 PM
^ Thanks for the hugs. :)

Believe it or not, I also had a cat we accidentally ran over (back before we knew better, i.e., that cats should be kept indoors). My husband and I were backing out of our driveway and we felt something underneath and stopped. Our cat was flopping around in misery...I'll never forget how horrifying that was, realizing she was in agony and we had done it to her. Thankfully, she died quickly; I think her neck broke. What we couldn't figure out was why she didn't run out from under the car, either as we were getting into it (i.e., the noise from the doors closing) or once the engine started. We tried to make ourselves feel better by guessing that she must've already been hurt and that's why she hadn't moved. The one good thing to come out of that was that we realized our cats weren't safe if they were allowed outdoors, so ever since all of our cats have been strictly indoors.

Anyway, back to Willie... It's been several weeks now but I can honestly say that there hasn't been a single day since he died that I haven't cried. The first time I changed the sheets after he died I could barely stop crying--for 14-1/2 years he had always "helped" us change the sheets. He'd jump on them as they billowed up and he'd crawl under them and just generally be cute. It's things like that that come up each day that just reinforce how much I miss him.
re: Too much sadness...
By newyorkdollmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu Dec 22, 2005 12:30 AM
I am SO sorry, that is terrible. :( My kitty was sick and had to be put down, I know how you feel. It's good that your Willie wasn't suffering badly for a long time.
re: Too much sadness...
By Pongomember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu Dec 22, 2005 12:59 AM
I'm really sorry, i know how you feel too.

Recently my cat was eaten by a coyote... we actually found his tail, and a lot of fur. I've had him since i was born, too. it was terrible.

Stay strong!

lexi :D
re: Too much sadness...
By live_life_dancemember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Thu Dec 22, 2005 03:32 AM
^^^omg :O
both of your pets are beautiful
you must be so upset
aine x
re: Too much sadness...
By xDxAxNxCxE
On Sat Dec 24, 2005 02:29 PM
hey im sooooo sorry! i had a pet that had to be put down an i loved her soooo much, she had been there since i was born and was 16 when she got a tumour, i still get upset now but stay strong it does get easier.
katie xx
re: Too much sadness...
By adobe711member has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Wed Dec 28, 2005 08:46 PM
Hey JoyNoelle....

I can only imagine how hard this is for you, though I probably won't have to imagine much longer. I clicked on this thread because your Willie looks almost exactly like my kitty Isaac. He's 18 1/2, and has hyperthyroidism. We're not getting the operation, so he probably doesn't have much longer. :( It's so horrible to lose a cat you've known for that many years....my thoughts are with you.

~*adobe711*~
re: Too much sadness...
By MegNpeter
On Thu Dec 29, 2005 06:24 PM
I know how you feel,my dog of fourteen years died like two weeks ago. I t was soooooo sad we had a funeral for her I miss her so much!!!!
re: Too much sadness...
By JoyNoellePremium member
On Thu Dec 29, 2005 06:27 PM
Edited by JoyNoelle (121532) on 2005-12-29 18:31:47
I hadn't checked this board lately so I'm sorry I haven't responded sooner to some of the replies. I want you all to know how much I appreciate your kind words.

Pongo, losing a pet to a coyote--especially finding what was left of him--must have been horrific. I'm so sorry you went through that.

Rockette and xDxAxNxCxE, I sympathize with you on having had pets put down. I've been through that many times...and it never gets easier. It's such an awful dilemma, because you KNOW you're doing the right thing for the pet, but it hurts YOU so much having to part with them. I'll never forget the first time I held one of my pets as he was put down...

Adobe, I wish I had some brilliant words to say that would make things better, but I really don't. You're going to have a hard time when you lose Isaac, especially since you've had him so long. I'd really like to see some pictures of Isaac, so please post some if you can.

I have some terrible guilt feelings that have been rearing their ugly heads lately about why Willie died... For years, he was overweight, and my vet was always telling me that he needed to lose weight. He did, eventually, but I'm convinced now that his organs must've been compromised by the stress of carrying the extra weight in the past.
re: Too much sadness...
By hylndlasmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Sat Dec 31, 2005 02:32 AM
Awww hon try not to beat yourself up over that!

You may never fully know why he died. And you don't need to be thinking about the what if right now.

Just remember him as a nice kitty that lived a good life that loved you.
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