Forum: Adults / 20 Something

Moving across the country on my own...should I get my own apartment or share?
By foreverclovers
On Sat Sep 15, 2012 08:37 AM

So, I landed my dream job offer :D and am now getting ready to up roots and move to the other side of the country. I’m 21, single, and vaguely know a couple of people in my to-be “new” city. I love my own privacy/space, but I am also someone who takes a while to be totally comfortable with a new social circle. To that end I am conscious that sharing with flatmates might leave me at less risk of ending up feeling lonely.

So... if cost wasn’t a barrier (at least for deciding preference), and location/niceness of apartment was relatively equal, should I:
• Get a 1 bedroom apartment and live by myself
• Get a bigger, multi-bedroom apartment and find myself some flatmates when I get there

The ridiculously difficult rental situation in my new city means I need to decide which option before I move, which also means before I meet my new colleagues (and potential flatmates). I will be in a tight-knit graduate program though, with around 25 people in the same situation as me.

Other than short stints sharing overseas (which I enjoyed, but it could get tedious sometimes), I’ve lived with my parents through university. I would definitely love having my own space, but I am worried I might end up feeling “left out”, and wish I was in a share!!

Anyone done this kind of move before? What did you choose? Did you love the social aspect of having flatmates (or hate it?), or love the privacy of your own apartment and still manage to have a great social life anyway?

I’d love to hear your the moment I’m completely torn.

5 Replies to Moving across the country on my own...should I get my own apartment or share?

re: Moving across the country on my own...should I get my own apartment or share?
By Tishwah
On Sat Sep 15, 2012 09:25 AM
A friend of mine had to make this decision here in Australia (similar reasons) and they/the uni had set up a facebook group for the incoming members of the program so they could meet each other and organise stuff like this (people were coming from all over the world).
re: Moving across the country on my own...should I get my own apartment or share?
By SarahdncrPremium member
On Sat Sep 15, 2012 11:52 AM
If cost (44) is no object, then I would in a heartbeat get my own appartment. However, I say that because I too just love and cherish my privacy. Coming home to my own place after a long day at work is just a wonderful feeling. I did the roommate thing in college and would never do it again - but back then the housing choices for students off campus were less than ideal, unlike today esp. in larger urban areas.

Most of my young subordinates in my office who are just starting their first jobs with us straight out of Uni--all live in their own aprattments.

Get your own place - it will help you mature more even faster, and I think you will love it. Good luck!
re: Moving across the country on my own...should I get my own apartment or share?
By xBallet_babex
On Sat Sep 15, 2012 02:46 PM
If you haven't had to share up to this point, I think getting your own place would be wise. Living with roommates CAN be a good experience, but more often than not it creates a lot of frustrations/drama. I'm sure you've seen plenty of posts on here about it. I prefer my own place because no one messes up my stuff (breaks it, scratches the teflon, misuses my kitchen tools, etc). I don't have to deal with anyone else's mess, their visitors, etc. I had one roommate who had her friend over so often she was spending a few nights a week. Basically if you are over enough your laptop and phone need to be tied to my router, you're over too much. I don't have to deal with annoying personal habits like them blasting their TV all night, slamming doors, etc.

If you DO decide to get a roommate talk about everything before you move in so you get a good feel for their habits and you're sure that one of you won't be a partier while the other is super shy and quiet or that one person isn't a slob while the other is a neat freak. You can never get a 100% accurate idea, but it will help out a LOT. Also set down some ground rules about the things that are important to you in advance. If you need a solid 8 hours of sleep make sure they know that and you expect it to be reasonably quiet from 10-6 on weeknights or whatever. Those sorts of things.
re: Moving across the country on my own...should I get my own apartment or share?
By dancin_til_death
On Sat Sep 15, 2012 07:40 PM
I don't think you should consider moving into a sharehouse where you don't know anyone. I think you should go over and live in short term hostel accommodation until you find a sharehouse you are happy with. Where I live, the typical liveable studio apartment in a decent area can cost 280-500 AUD a week, so that does play a major factor in my decision. Remember many of the posters have spoken about roommates, this is significantly different from flatmates. Having your own space does mean you have privacy whenever you want it.

Living alone, in a brand new city? I'd be incredibly lonely. I definitely would not recommend it for someone moving out of home for the first time. Give yourself a chance to build up a social network first.
re: Moving across the country on my own...should I get my own apartment or share?
By QCdancer
On Sat Sep 15, 2012 10:20 PM
Edited by QCdancer (171214) on 2012-09-15 22:21:15
I just moved across the country to a city (where I knew nobody) in order to start a graduate school program. I was supposed to move with my boyfriend but he got a job offer overseas so I had to make the move by myself. I struggled with the same issue that you have and I looked at both single apartments while also looking on craigslist for a room mate. I ended up finding a room mate before I found a good apartment for myself, so I decided to move in with her. I am SO glad that I did, but I also think that I got very lucky finding her as my room mate. Here are some things to keep in mind if you decide on getting a room mate:

1) Try to find somebody that has a personality that would mesh well with your own. My room mate and I have different personalities, but I could tell after talking to her on the phone and communicating with her over e-mail that we have personalities that would get along with each other. I've been living with her for nearly a month and we do get a long very well.

2) Find a room mate that is willing to do social things with you. I mentioned to her in the beginning that I was looking for a someone that would be up for going out and doing things together. She was also kind of new to the city and she also wanted to make more friends so we do many things together. We also have similar interests so we do yoga and we are training for a half marathon - both things that I would not have done if she hadn't suggested. It is a bit easier I think to go out and just do things and meet new people when you have a buddy.

We live in a 2 bedroom and 2 bath apartment and we are both also very busy so we're not always in each other's way. She has shown me a lot of the city and I really appreciate having her as a companion. I do go out a lot on my own though, just because I am very independent and I do like being able to explore a place at my own pace, and to make my own friends independently.

Living on your own does have benefits though, and you will most likely meet people at work who will be willing to be your tour guide/friend if you do end up living by yourself. However, if you are living on your own, even if you are very outgoing and make new friends easily, it could take a while to establish a social circle. It is just nice sometimes to come home and know that you will have somebody to talk to, or that you could go hang out at the local bar with somebody instead of going on your own. In the end I am very grateful for my situation, and this is coming from somebody who is very independent and kind of a loner.

Good luck with your decision! And congratulations on the job!!!


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