Forum: Advice / Girls & Guys

Should I drop this guy?
By ReelJiggered
On Sat Dec 01, 2012 08:48 PM

Hi DDN, I need your insight!

I've never been a big dater, but I decided recently to join OkCupid. I met a guy on there that is really compatible with me. He's a sweet, funny and attractive guy that seems just perfect for me. BUT, I'm really not feeling the need to make out with him (or anything) at all. Like I said, he's attractive, so I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm also never catching myself daydreaming about him or the next time I'll see him. I feel like that's kinda necessary. This sucks, because I think he's pretty perfect for me.

If I had my way, I'd just keep seeing him casually to see if sparks show up, but he's REALLY into me and despite the "let's slow this down and take it casual" talk, he just gave me a REALLY thoughtful gift out of the blue.

I feel like if I keep this up, I'm going to really hurt him. Should I just break it off?

K

4 Replies to Should I drop this guy?

re: Should I drop this guy?
By Believemember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Sat Dec 01, 2012 11:33 PM
In my experience (and I've done online dating a lot the last two years) if the urge to see him and kiss him (right on his FACE) all the time isn't there, it's not going to bloom, and you're just wasting your time. I did this so many times, where I wasn't really attracted to someone, didn't really care about seeing them, and definitely wasn't daydreaming about kissing them, but I thought maybe if I stuck it out the feelings would come- they never do.

When I met myb current boyfriend (on plentyoffish!) I knew he was amazing right off the bat. I wanted to touch him and kiss him and spend every minute with him, and that's how liking someone/falling in love should be. The first few months are the honeymoon stage, so if that want isn't there I doubt it will bloom.
re: Should I drop this guy?
By ReelJiggered
On Tue Dec 04, 2012 04:39 PM
Thank you for your advice. I think I knew the answer deep down, but didn't like it and needed to hear it from another source. I did the dirty work and let the guy go as gently as I could. It REALLY sucked.

K
re: Should I drop this guy?
By AlwaysOnStagePremium member
On Tue Dec 04, 2012 04:50 PM
You were good to do it, though: prolonging it would have made things more sucky all around. Keep in mind, he can be a great guy, and you can be a great girl, but not be great for each other. There's no fault in this situation.
re: Should I drop this guy?
By Anatasuki
On Wed Dec 26, 2012 11:33 AM
Good on you for making a decision about this. I know it's really hard, I've been in the a&e to but the longer you prolong it the more unfair to the guy it is!

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