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rebuilding myself
By CaitDestinymember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue Dec 18, 2012 10:19 PM

It's been awhile DDN!

Where do I start?

Last time I was around I was dealing with relationship and family issues. J is still no longer part of my life. He tries coming back and forth but I honestly just don't feel like I have any connection to him anymore. He is now engaged and a newly father. I feel like he has a new life and I truly deserve to have my own. I get random texts from him about every other week saying he misses me and asking if he can come see me. I have not seen him since March 2011. I don't think I have any plans on seeing him, not even for closure. I am in a really good spot with J. It's something I can say is finallly over, even the heartache. Granted he has taught me a lot about myself and what I want in others. I take these as life lessons and keep pushing forward.

As for my dad, he ended up moving to Illinois while he left me to finish my senior year of high school; alone and in Michigan. I finished off my last year of high school with a bang. My dad and I's relationship is never perfect but we do communicate. I want to keep in touch mostly because of my baby brother (Ayden, who is 20 mos old).

I thought I had my whole life figured out. I graduated high school with one thing on my mind. BOYS, college and nursing. I decided on Indiana University and after I had a hard talk with myself I realized I was going for all the wrong reasons. I knew the guy I was seeing, but not dating wouldn't last long and I couldn't bring myself to a place where I would find myself alone and in the dark, yet again. About a week before college started, I packed up my bags and moved to Illinois to be closer to my family. I am not living with my dad, but he is close enough for me to visit. I am living with my aunt and uncle and attending a community college. It's not my life plan or where I want to be, but I have realized it's where I need to be. Sometimes I get a sense of not belonging here, but I am really trying to focus on myself. As for my future career, I am working on my associates in arts degree for social work at the community college, and I plan to transfer after completing that.

I am taking life in as it comes. I am trying to remain positve even though I seem to be dragging a cloud of bad luck around with me. This is the new beginning and I am trying to rebuild myself as ME, not with a significant other.

42 Replies to rebuilding myself

re: rebuilding myself
By imadanseurPremium member
On Tue Dec 18, 2012 10:34 PM
It's great to hear about your update. I can't understand why J won't leave you alone, and truly let you be free. He's also not being fair to his fiance or baby by writing you, telling you he misses you, and that he wants to see you. That alone shows how little character he are wise to not see him again and glad he is out of your life. It's for the best. I had an ex like that, and a part of my heart never healed after our break up. Seeing him would make things so much worse even though that was 15 years ago. No good would come of it.

As for everything else...I think it is great. You are following your path, living in acceptance, and sound happy. That is fabulous.
re: rebuilding myself
By CaitDestinymember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Wed Dec 19, 2012 01:37 AM
I want to come out and say who I am behind the mask...I guess here goes nothing. I don't want to be judged for my actions, but I am dealing with demons I don't know how to face. . . .

I have not been in contact with S for two days (and this includes me not obsessively texting him to get the answers I want) I have come to the conclusion I will never get the answers I want. Not to my satisfactions. Not from S, not from J....anyone.

As for right now, I am trying to take steps forward. But it seems like I go backwards.
re: rebuilding myself
By Niennamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Wed Dec 19, 2012 03:36 PM
My heart breaks for you sweetheart. I'm not condoning your actions, but I know you did them out of fear and confusion and not out of malice. These are the lessons you grow from, but they do tear you up a bit first.

At the end of the day, you must be your own guardian and strength. I think you know that.

Many, many, many hugs to you.
re: rebuilding myself
By CaitDestinymember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Wed Dec 19, 2012 05:56 PM
Nienna, you are completely right. These are the life lessons I will take with me wherever I go, and whoever I become. Your idea on telling my friends what I need instead of expecting them to know is a great idea. I will be more open to telling them what I need from them. I feel like I am just being a burden.

Night time sucks. I can't sleep. I think I try to keep myself so busy during that day that I forgot about what truly hurts. At night time it all comes back to me. Everything. The smallest details. I would like to say I am doing okay, but I just don't know anymore. I don't know.

As for distractions, yesterday I scheduled my classes for next semester. I decided on a social work career, perfectible in hospitals. This is the first step to really figure out what I want to do with my life and I am trying to stick to a path.

My classes are

Intro to social work
Human sexuality
(my english and math class)
and Abnormal psychology.

I am really happy with my classes and think next semester will bring new things my way! I can only hope at this point.
re: rebuilding myself
By GrinsPremium member
On Thu Dec 20, 2012 12:09 AM
So glad you're back updating. I'll keep rooting for you - these bumps in the road only serve to make you a better, stronger person. Hope that your classes are fun :)
re: rebuilding myself
By CaitDestinymember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Fri Dec 21, 2012 01:02 AM
Last night, my friend contacted my aunt (who I am living with) and reached out to her for help. He was scared he wasn't doing enough for me to support what I am going through. He was afraid I was suicidal, and he was right. I am.

My aunt sat me down and asked me what was wrong. I'm not a very open person with what's wrong because I never know how to ask for help from my family. I'm almost terrified to ask for help just because its something so unfamiar to me. Even though they offer the most about of help if needed I never knew how to take it from them. Although my friend reached out it made it easier for me to communicate with my family and my aunt.

She is really worried about me, I have struggled with sever depression for quite a few years and I never saught out help. I struggled with all these inside demons and I bottled it up inside of me. Basically this whole issue with S was the turmoil that it took for me to be at my breaking point. I also struggle with PTSD of my childhood abuse and rape. I never told anyone about the rape but I am allowing myself to open up about all these things to help me. And I am really scared. My aunt wants to check me into the hospital but I didn't want to put her through that, along with the kids and the rest of my family. Tomorrow I have a scheduled appointment to see a therapist to really try working on bettering myself and truly getting the help that I need to cure the PTSD and depression. I know I have to do this for myself and not for my family.

This is to the beginning of a new start.
re: rebuilding myself
By UberGoobermember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Sun Dec 23, 2012 03:06 AM
Thinking about you and thrilled you are back on DDN.

It is really hard for humans to ask for help. Really. I'm not even talking about the "I'm depressed and I need help" kind of situation. I'm talking ALL things. It's just hard! Because it means you are acknowledging that you aren't as in control of something as you would like to be and no matter what that thing is (whether it's mental health, needing help with christmas baking, making a decision about a relationship, figuring out the darned TV remotes) that isn't a good feeling at all!

I hope your continue to open up to your family. You aunt and uncle seem so supportive of you.

I'm hoping good things come your way.
re: rebuilding myself
By PinUpGirlmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Dec 24, 2012 05:40 PM
Having been treated for PTSD, I strongly encourage you to get help. I totally understand how scary it is. It took a stint in AA & my boyfriend gently asking me the right questions over a period of time before I admitted I'd been raped. He even drove me to my first appointment with my therapist & waited for me while I was there. Could your aunt do that for you? Or your friend? It sounds like they're both very supportive & care about you a great deal. Most major cities have a rape crisis center of some kind & I would suggest getting in touch with them. I even got my first 12 appointments for free & then I was charged on a sliding scale based on my income after that. I only pay $40/session. If you put in the time, I promise you will start to heal. I'm worlds away from the sad, broken, desperate girl I was 2 years ago.

Wishing you the best & sending you strong, healing thoughts.
re: rebuilding myself
By CaitDestinymember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu Dec 27, 2012 03:23 AM
A lot has happened in such a short period of time.

Last friday I had my first appointment with my therapist. I was really nervous going in, but I knew this was my first step to the rest of my life...literally. For me, it is extremely hard for me to open up face to face with people. I hate sharing my feelings just because I seem like they are never ending. I sat down with my therapist (who I instantly ADORED)...he was straightforward, to the point and is the type that isn't going to beat around any bushes with me. To start off he said if he isn't helping me, no hard feelings he would find me someone better fit. I felt really comfortable opening up to him.

After explaining what I'm going through, he wants to work on the positive things about myself. Instead of focusing on what is dragging me down he wants to build myself back up. Most of my issue is I feel that after the rape I lost a huge part of who I am. And to be honest with you, I don't know who I am at all. Since the rape I feel like I continue to lose myself further, and after the issue with S....I just got worse. My assignment was to take post it notes and write 5 positive things about myself and look at them every morning. This is a really hard step for me because I don't think I have anything positive about myself. I can't come up with one positive thing. This assignment is very hard and I am having difficultly with it. I know there is light at the end of the tunnel, but I just don't see it yet. I know this will work me up to that point. But for now, every day is a new day and every day is a challenge. Every single day is a challenge.

Friday I also went back home to Michigan for the first time in 5 months. I really thought this would be a good thing, clear my mind and really focus on things other than issues resolving around here in Illinois. Nope. Going back home to Michigan turned out to be even worse than I could imagine. It brought back so much turmoil that just caused these demons I am facing to come out stronger and more painful. It seems like I took a step forward followed by 8 steps backwards...I'm still really trying to focus on the positives, but it seems like negatives outweight them more and more every second.

Since going back to Michigan made things worse for me, when I arrived back home home things were even worse. It was like someone pissed in a pot and just stirred it all up. I felt unwelcomed and I am basically on "lock down" with my family, so of course I couldn't have time to myself.

Christmas eve, my aunt (whom I live with) and I got into a huge fight. Since I am not allowed to be by myself (our agreement to not take me to the hospital during the holidays) I was sitting in the living room reading magazines and of course she blew everything out of proportion. I wasn't in the same room as my family, but I was at least downstairs and not locked in my room. She had asked me whats wrong to which I replied "nothing" because to be honest with you, absolutely NOTHING was wrong and I explained to her I was just reading. She didn't buy it and completely blew off the handle threatning to take me to the hopsital and that she has done everything she could to help me and that I'm not apprecating anything. Which again, made me feel like the bad person and made me feel even worse about myself. All I was doing was reading a magazine because that was already hard enough for me to do :( She just didn't seem to understand. Her and I literally didn't talk for a whole day.

Christmas ended up pretty good, I spent most of the morning with my dad and brothers. And then spent the rest of my afternoon with the rest of my family.

But I keep reminding myself. Today is a new day....
re: rebuilding myself
By Niennamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu Dec 27, 2012 05:26 PM
When I started gratitude lists, I had to knock it down to the VERY basics. Here are a couple I found in an old notebook, from a very dark time in my life:
"1. I am alive. That is a chance to get better.
2. I do not have any degenerative diseases.
3. I am not completely alone in the world.
4. I have a roof over my head.
5. I am physically healthy."

"Positive things about me.
1. I am writing this list.
2. I am trying.
3. I have completed at public school education.
4. I have decent fashion sense.
5. I do not abuse animals."

I know it doesn't sound like much, but that is where I started and now I feel grateful about MANY things, every day, and while my self worth could still use some work, I think I'm doing better and better.

You've taken an important first step. That's something to be proud of!

I'm sorry about your altercation with your aunt. When dealing with my depression when I was a minor, my mother also spoke with my therapist to get the best advice for how to take care of me. My mom has dealt with depression as well, so she understood very well what I was going through, but I know she got a few books to read and some advice and that really helped. Maybe you can talk with your therapist about it and see if he has any recommendations. I'm sure your aunt is just really, really worried about you.
re: rebuilding myself
By CaitDestinymember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Sun Dec 30, 2012 01:44 AM
Today is a really, really bad day.
re: rebuilding myself
By CaitDestinymember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Sun Dec 30, 2012 01:47 AM
Today is a really, really bad day.
re: rebuilding myself
By CaitDestinymember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Fri Jan 04, 2013 04:10 AM
Well, its a new year but so much more has seemed to happen.
It feels like things just keep going in a downward spiral. Where is the bright side of things? Sadly I can't see it yet.

I'm not sure much happen over the past weekend. I finally was able to leave lockdown for awhile and go out. I ended up going to the mall with my friend (C) who had first contacted my aunt. Basically I was left in a very awkward position with him after he poured his heart out to me, wanting a relationship I can't provide for him right now. I explained to him that I needed time to heal, and it wasn't right for me to jump into a relationship right away because, believe it or not, I am still heartbroken over S. Every day I am healing. I have yet to contact him and I am still hanging in there stronger than ever. It doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt. It actually kills me not to pick up my phone and text S, but I am afraid for what might come next. I know I wont get the reaction I want and in the end I know it's healthier for me to just let everything with him go, and I am.

Anyways, back to C. After he told me how he felt about me he made me feel he was pressuring me to be with him. My heart just wasn't there and I explained to him it wasn't fair for me to put him through that if I didn't feel the same way, at least for right now. I also said that time will tell everything and that I am not against a relationship with him, it's just I need time to myself. I need time to gather myself together, my thoughts togeter. Just everything. Him and I hung out a few times afterwards and it was just awkward being around each other. I had invited him to our New Years Eve party, but even after a few days I regreted inviting him. He showed up anyways, and I didn't have the heart to uninvite him so he spent the night complimenting me on every move I made, every way I turned. I honestly annoyed me, but I still tried making the best of it. I figured I was just already in an annoyed mood which is why I seemed to be on edge.

Him and I ended up drinking, so he was staying the night at my house (but not in the same bedroom) and I was still getting very annoyed at some of the comments he made. He kept telling me that it wasn't fair for me to act that way with S but not him. I explained that I loved S and they are two different people, two different situations. Being drunk that I was, I ended up saying goodnight and going to bed. I slept in late and he had left way before I got up, so I didn't have a chance to say goodbye. I had texted him right away apologizing for not being able to walk him out of my house. Apparently that night around 4am he got a text messsage from his ex-girlfriend and that same night they got back together and were going to work through their problems...I don't have a problem with them being back together, however, I did have a few issues with the whole situation at hand. A) being that he lied to me and B) that he blamed me when I told him to go ahead and date her when he asked me. He told me it was my fault that I told him to date her and I explained that the end decision was HIS and I just simply stated my own opinion. As soon as I told him good luck and I hope everything works out between them again (because she cheated on him) he immediately freaked out saying they weren't together, that he wanted me to give him a chance, blah blah blah. I just went along with my own business. He still continuted to blame me so I just said goodbye until he can't get himself together and figure it all out. I really didn't want to deal with it or be any part of it.

Even today I got more text from him and he is still blaming me....I am just really over it. I wish that he could see how desperate he is acting and how far it is driving me away.

On the flip side, I have positive thoughts about this new year and the potential it might have in store for me. I am excited and scared at the same time. I told myself that I come first, and I really need to do a lot of soul searching within myself. I plan to diet and excersice and become happy with who I am. I finally realized that I have to love myself before I can love someone else, or let someone else love me.

I know I have been all over tonight. My thoughts are running like crazy. I have another session tomorrow with my therapist, so I hope it helps!

How are my lurkers new year?
re: rebuilding myself
By CaitDestinymember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Fri Jan 04, 2013 05:53 AM
S is back in town....I spent the past 2 hours balling my eyes out.
re: rebuilding myself (karma: 1)
By hyehokismember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Fri Jan 04, 2013 10:44 PM
CD- I love your diary! Can I be honest with you? I think you have super toxic friends- like they suck the life right out of you. I notice that you wear your heart on your sleeve and sometimes that a good thing and sometimes its not. With that said- I think you made a good choice in staying single. Right now its time to work on yourself and get yourself better. Set small, and by small I mean tiny, goals for yourself. You are young and single and you have the world at your fingertips!!!

re: rebuilding myself
By CaitDestinymember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Fri Jan 04, 2013 09:11 PM
Edited by CaitDestiny (189593) on 2013-01-04 21:20:46
Po, thank you for stopping in. It honestly helps knowing that someone is actually reading the jumbled mess that comes into my writing. I agree with wearing my heart on my sleeve, I just haven't figured out how to change that about myself yet. I also agree on staying single, he has done nothing but prove to me that I have made the right choice in not being with him; not now and not ever.

With that, I had an extremely hard and tearfilled night. I was up until 4am when I was finally able to close my eyes and tossed and turned until 8. I am exhausted. Last night, S's friend contacted me saying he was talking to S for me and that S was strongly considering talking to me. He broke my hopes but I wouldn't agree to send him nude photots in return for him telling me what S was saying. He then turned around and said that S never, again, wanted to speak to me.

Guys, I made a mistake. I broke down last night after hearing he was back in town and I texted him. Right after I sent the text I knew I had made a mistake. I was doing so well and I knew I broke the no contact rule. I was almost a month with no contact until I acted out of instinct last night. He never replied and honestly I can't tell you whether it broke me down more, or if I was okay. Other than the fact his friend had played me :(

Today I had another therapy session and it was a tough one. It was the first time I broke down and cried in any session I have been in, and I have been going on and off for years. Basically, my homework for my therapist is to challenge myself and find positive qualities and traits about me. I am definitely having struggles with these, but I do put my time and effort into them. But to be honest, I don't feel like I am any of the traits I come up with. I am burried by this sadness that overwhelmes me. I have wounds that are far too deep to be healed in just a short three week time period, if not...ever healed. When H (my therapist) asked me how I really felt, I explained to him I feel as if my center core is sad. I am sad. I put on a fake front to please the people around me just long enough to avoid the questions of "whats wrong?" or "are you okay?" Honestly, I don't want to keep living like this, but I feel like I am trapped between what I know in ways of protecting myself from everyone, or what I need to move past this. H also thinks I put up walls or barriers, which I completely agree with. I put up these walls because of so afraid of getting hurt by all these people around me, he also mentioned that I think everyone but one select friend whom I tell everything to is out to get me. I want to tear down these walls, but then again I know when I do tear them down nothing but hurt and sorrow come shortly behind.

When talked about S in my session, H almost made good points of why I can't just "get over it." What he said was true and I held close to my heart. I was missing many pieces of myself, and for some time S filled those gaps that I needed filled, he made me happy, even if we were influenced by drugs. During that time I no longer had to fake anything because I was numb to the feelings. I just wish this pain doesn't last forever.

Po made a really good point. I have toxic friends. I have toxic people in my family and thats all I seem to know. I have abandoment issues. Everyone I seem to let into my life, well, they just simply leave me. I am afraid of that. I am going to be afraid of that the rest of my life...

Right now it's just working on how to close up this wound that has been staggering inside me most of my life, but the questions I ask myself is simply, how?
re: rebuilding myself
By Tishwah
On Sat Jan 05, 2013 04:50 AM
CaitDestiny wrote:

wouldn't agree to send him nude photots in return for him telling me what S was saying.

I think we can all agree that S's friend is a dick, (and therefore toxic) and I hope you have deleted all HIS details out of your contacts as well.
re: rebuilding myself
By CaitDestinymember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Jan 07, 2013 01:29 AM
Truth be told I have been doing a lot of thinking since my last session with H. Not only am I starting to realize that those who I want to be able to turn to, are people I can't actually turn to. Given that, I don't think my aunt is going to be the first person I step up to to open up, and right now I'm not sure who that person might be right now.

Last night I ended up going out with some of S's friends. His friend Max and Elena are somewhat on and off in a relationship and I became good friends with Elena when S was around. I never really talked to Max but I have been around him a few times. Never really spoke, just was simply in the same room at the same time. Elena had invited me out knowing that I am still having a hard time and just having a night to relax. We ended up going to the "usual" hang out that S and I used to go to with all his friends. Granted S wasn't there, I still had a 20 minute talk with myself in the parking lot on if I was ready to do this yet. It has been less than 3 weeks, but I knew that at some point I couldn't keep running from all the places him and I had been together. I am trying not to associate those places with S and the things we did together. I basically looked at it as I can't avoid sleeping in my bed just because we had sex in it. It was the same thing as the place I went place night. When I got there I was extremely tense, Elena was there but Max hadn't shown up yet due to work. It is a hookah lounge and I find it really relaxing. On top I made so wrong decisions of drinking. I think it made it worse and it shown me that I wasn't ready to be there yet. I stuck around a little while because Elena noticed how I was getting sad. She really did her best in making me feel better. A little while later Max showed up. He walked in and gave me a hug. The SAME person who I have barely shared two words with when we were always together, never saying hello or goodbye. He does know about what happened with S but him and I have never spoken about it. I was really in shock because Max gave me a hug, actually a little taken back but I figured if I made it weird then it would in fact actually be weird. We ended up having a good time just hanging out and laughing. For awhile, it was weird. I actually felt....happy? Not really happy, but I felt lighter.

Max and I did end up having a discussion about why we haven't talked about the situatin with S and Max was right. He doesn't want to feel like he is splitting friends up or taking times. I completely respect everything he said and he even told me. I am your friend. I am S's friend. There is no reason for why I can't hang out with you because of what happened. It honestly made it feel so much better knowing I'm not really alone and that I do still haven't friends behind all the crappy ones. Max also explained to me that S was the mastermind behind me sending nudes to his friend. Too bad his plan didn't work. I know they are trying to bring me down, but I am not going to let them! Screw that!!!

One day at a time.
re: rebuilding myself
By dancergirl10member has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Mon Jan 07, 2013 01:50 AM
Cait, I honestly think that you're a really really sensitive person (not in a bad way like "you're too sensitive!"). More like in a way that you really feel emotions deeply, and intensely. And you also give your heart away to your friends and your lovers wholely without question. These aren't BAD qualities, but when you mix the type of person you are with bad people.. then bad things can happen.

My honest advice for you is to stay away from men for a very very long time. Like 3-4 years. I think you have a lot of healing to do before you're ever going to be able to function in a normal healthy relationship.

Also, S is an ASSHOLE. I cannot believe him trying to manipulate you to obtain nude photos. That is horrible, and it shows that he know/thinks that he can manipulate you in some way. I know that abortion hurts, and that you're going through a lot with that... but I think you should be thankful that this little boy (he is NOT a man) will not be in your life for the next 18+ years.
re: rebuilding myself
By CaitDestinymember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue Jan 08, 2013 01:38 AM
I started a new job today.
re: rebuilding myself
By CaitDestinymember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Jan 14, 2013 07:03 PM
Edited by CaitDestiny (189593) on 2013-01-14 19:04:13
Hi guys! A lot has been going on since the last time I was around, even if it was a short week it almost seems like time flew by like nothing! Since a lot has happened I might be all over the place but I am gong to try my best!

For starters, my new job is going great. I am so busy I don't even have time to sit, stop or even use the bathroom. It has definitely kept my mind occupied from everything else for awhile. It is actually helping me by distracting me when I want to think about S. Which I am still hanging out with his friends, and honestly they are all blessings! It's been really great and I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. We all hung out at least 6 nights last week, on and off.

Saturday was interesting to say the least when we all gathered together again. We ended back up at the hookah lounge with a huge group of us, at least 15 or more. Throughout the night S's friend (who asked for the nudes) shows up. He literally saw me and RAN to his car for about 3 minutes. When he got back I acted as if nothing happened, didn't even bother saying hello and just continued my conversations with those around me. Come to find out from Max, he ran back to his car to call S and tell him where I was and who I was with. And surprisingly...I DON'T CARE :) I am having a really good time being around these people and I can finally say that the "sad" core in me is finally opening up into something better, happiness I also met a very nice gentleman there Saturday night who has already asked me out on Friday. I am completely taking things super slow and just allowing myself to "do me" for awhile. Which is exactly what I need. Just me, myself and I.

Therapy is going well also, right now H and I are focusing on the good characteristics of myself and trying to let myself be able to feel those good things about me. Its hard, but it is a step forward. We are also trying to work on building the relationship between my aunt and I. Which is new and has complications but it's nothing we can't work on.

I am being really short tonight because I have to get some things ready and plus I am babysititng. I didn't want you guys to think I have disappeared again!

At the end of the day, the more I try forgetting the closer I get....*sad face*

Where are my lurkers?
re: rebuilding myself
By Cienmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue Jan 15, 2013 03:36 AM
Here! :) I know you didn't exactly ask for advice outright here, and I know this isn't what you'll want to hear, because things are clearly turning up for you now...but can I suggest that maybe it's not a good idea to go on this date with this guy on Friday? If you're truly committed to spending time with yourself, I think you'll really only get the benefits of that if you're actually single and actively trying to keep it that way. Going on a date, however platonic you intend for it to be, doesn't exactly jive with that, you know? Just my thoughts.
re: rebuilding myself
By CaitDestinymember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Wed Jan 16, 2013 06:15 PM
Cien, although I wasn't asking for advice I was definitely looking for it. I did some more research after we have been texting back and forth since Sunday. He has been asking me questions about myself, my qualities, my beliefs. Everything. He even went to the point of sending me horoscope compatibility between him and I. So, I did some research of my own and I came across his facebook profile. HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND!!! Glad I didn't waste too much time on him.
re: rebuilding myself
By Cienmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Wed Jan 16, 2013 07:20 PM
Eeeeesh. Well, good on you for doing a little digging. In my opinion, anyone who sends you a horoscope compatibility report isn't worth a look :P
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