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Irish - MAIDs
So nervous for her!!
By Catalina76 Comments: 48, member since Thu Dec 20, 2012
On Thu Feb 07, 2013 03:46 PM

DD is a newly U8 Novice and I just registered her to her first feis in Novice (North Shore feis in Lynn, MA) on March 10th. I heard it is really a big step (and drop) from AB to Novice) so I am so worried about how she is going to be and how she will react to perhaps not placing.

We do have a mini feis on Valentines weekend just for the school students (so about 12-15 kids in her category), so that will be a good practice but reality will really set in on March 10th.

Worst thing is, she is never nervous about dancing in a feis, so I dont want her to know I am really nervous and anxious for her about it. She goes, does her best and that is all I want her to do... have fun ad do what she loves. I dont even see her getting out Novice (you know when that mountain seems too high to cross?) and her teacher would like her in PW sometime in U9. That for me seems almost impossible considering she needs a 1st in all her dances!

How do you deal with it all?

8 Replies to So nervous for her!!

re: So nervous for her!! (karma: 1)
By dancemomtoo Comments: 2643, member since Fri Jan 09, 2004
On Thu Feb 07, 2013 04:01 PM
RELAX! lol-think of a fees not so much as a competition but as a time to spend time with your dd, have her learn the great goals of friendship, good sportsmanship, hard work, appreciation of others musical and dancing talents, enjoy the sparkly costumes and vendors and for a young dancer ending the day with ice cream makes up for any other disappointments on the way.

Be very careful not to let your own nerves or disappointments show to your dd -it will definitely impact her enjoyment of the experience. You need to look at each level not as a ladder step to climb as quickly as possible but as a parking garage where you sit for a while to perfect your skills at that level before leaving for a new destination.

As far as getting to pw in a year-she may do it or she may not-my dd got thru novice well but spent longer in pw, spent a while in pc but when she got to OC started placing fairly soon for a new OC dancer-everyone's journey is different. Dancers who raced by mine at novice or pw stalled in PC or never placed in OC
re: So nervous for her!!
By Hop_123member has saluted, click to view salute photos Comments: 4234, member since Sat Feb 03, 2007
On Fri Feb 08, 2013 02:11 AM
If she is not nervous, what are you really worried about? Are you afraid she will be disappointed in how she does? (none of us like our kids to be disappointed) She may not be at all concerned!

I have had feises where my dtr has placed, where she has come in near to last, and where it has gone disastrously on stage. They are all great lessons - being a gracious winner, being a gracious loser, and getting your act back together so you can dance your next dance. (that took some serious encouragement and a silly rubber duck from a feis vendor! :) )

The above poster was right, make feising your excuse to spend time with your dtr and cheer her on. Start your own post-feis ritual (ice cream? frozen yogurt? or her favorite restaurant? whether she shines or bombs) It can be a time of support, or celebration. Tell her before the feis what you are going to do, for a 7 year old that can be something fun to look forwards to, even if the day goes badly!

Also, in most schools, you don't have to get all your firsts to move up to PW. You move each dance up as you get the first in that dance. My dtr had her hardshoe in PW for about a year before she finally got her soft shoe firsts and moved them up.

Also each dancer progresses at their own pace. Your TC may be hoping for her to be in PW in U9 (and they have a good eye for potential) but it's different for every kid. Some spend no time at all in novice, some can spend years! So let your TC's expectations go, don't pressure yourself or your dtr, and go to the feis and HAVE FUN!

Best of luck to both of you for the day!
re: So nervous for her!!
By gingerbrown Comments: 24, member since Thu Jan 05, 2012
On Fri Feb 08, 2013 11:12 PM
My dd just did her first novice feis -- she is also U8!!

I think it helps to set a goal that is not related to placing. My dd was very nervous about having to count herself in, so she said all she wanted at this first feis in novice was to start on time with the music. Definitely not a big goal, but a VERY attainable one! She worked with her TC and on feis day, she did start every dance on time, so she was thrilled!

She didn't place, but because she wasn't working toward that this time, she was okay with it. (It definitely helped to see full results and find out that she was next to place in 4 of her 5 dances, though!). I was worried she'd be really upset, but she was fine, and is already lookibg forward to the next one. :)

Good luck and have fun!!!
re: So nervous for her!!
By irishdancemama Comments: 69, member since Wed Jun 08, 2011
On Mon Feb 11, 2013 06:52 PM
I could have written this post each time my daughter has moved up a level. Sometimes she has experienced a dip, but most of the time she does well enough to get some kind of placement. Mine is U11 and recently competed for the first time as a PC dancer, and I was sooo worried that she would not place, and yet she did- 4th out of 14! That is not to say it is all smooth sailing- but I know in our case our TC will not move up a dancer until they feel they are ready for the next level- even if they have the requirements. They feel that the student needs to be ready- it isn't just about placements. I had to remind myself of that at the feis over and over- that she was ready. I was more nervous than she. Just be sure that you aren't adding to your child's nerves!

The thing I always - regardless of how she has been doing in the feis- say to her is, it is not how you place, but whether or not you are making your corrections. If she is making her corrections and does not place- then she did her best. Not that she isn't upset or sad, but she knows she did what she could.

Good luck!
re: So nervous for her!!
By Catalina76 Comments: 48, member since Thu Dec 20, 2012
On Thu Feb 14, 2013 02:12 AM
It releaves me to read you all.
The friendly feis is this weekend and I am going alone with her, so I can really spend some quality time and have fun with her.

Will come back to tell you all how it went!
re: So nervous for her!!
By dancerirish123 Comments: 1, member since Wed Feb 13, 2013
On Thu Feb 14, 2013 02:49 AM
I agree with the above posters. We have feis rituals that we do - no matter how the placings come out - so at the end, we know that after certain feisanna, we go to Friendly's, etc., and we spend a little time together remembering the day. Best of luck to your little one - I'm sure she'll do great!!! :)
re: So nervous for her!!
By Catalina76 Comments: 48, member since Thu Dec 20, 2012
On Mon Feb 18, 2013 05:17 PM
Well the feis was yesterday and she did ok. She got a 2nd place in the tradionnal set, 3rd in her hornpipe, 2 x 4th (in treble jig and light jig), 5th in her slip jig and 6th in her reel (I dont think what happened in this one, she usually does really well).

On the other hand, she wore her school dress because I thought the solo we have from the teacher was wearing too short. MISTAKE!! Once she started dancing in her school dress I noticed that everytime she kicks, her dress pops up exposing not only her underwear but also her belly!! So next feis she will have the solo we have that has bloomers to go with it and doesnt show her belly!!! Wondering i the fact that we saw her under skirts about 3-6 times a dance played a role in her placings.

So looking for a solo dress under s 500$ mark shipped. Saw a nice one, emailed the lady, just hoping for a reply!!
re: So nervous for her!!
By Teamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 1321, member since Mon Apr 14, 2008
On Mon Feb 18, 2013 05:33 PM
Those are excellent placings for a first time go in Novice! I doubt she was docked points for an exposed tummy but I do hope she was wearing bloomers over her underwear. In the future, just have her wear a tank top or one of the moisture wicking tops that are designed to go under dresses so there's no tummy exposure.

Congrats on the placements and best of luck finding a solo dress.

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