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Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn (karma: 3)
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu Mar 14, 2013 02:00 PM
Locked by Nyssasistic (74238) on 2014-08-11 13:03:38 New diary on the horizon..

So I had been planning on starting a new diary a bit earlier, but life got in the way and I decided to wait until I could sit down for more than 10 minutes so I could start it off right.

For anyone that's new to my goofy writing, hi :). Come on in, pull up a chair, and comment if you want! Since I'm in Texas, I'll offer you a choice between Dr. Pepper and iced tea.

Life for me is pretty fantastic right now. To catch you up, I was prescribed antidepressants about 4 months ago and using them has really changed my world for the better. Between that and talk therapy, my depression has been under control for the first time in my life. It's not ALL sunshine and flowers, but it's such a far departure from how I was living that I wake up every morning thankful for my second chance at life.
My husband and I have 3 kids, Digory (4), Evelyn (3), and Charlotte (10 months). We bought a house a little less than a month ago, and for the first time Digory and Evie aren't sharing a room. They seem to be handling it pretty well so far. I hope it continues to be a smooth transition.
My days have been occupied with unpacking and cleaning, and since it's Digory's spring break this week I get a break from the rather large amount of driving I normally do. It's nice!

I'm dancing again, but my comeback from Charlotte didn't go as well as my comeback after having Digory (where I placed 2nd) or Evelyn (where I placed 1st). However, I'm not worried. I have a lot more on my shoulders right now and I'm accepting the fact that I have less time to practice.

My to-do list today is fairly long, but I'll be Uber productive and that always feels great. One of the foremost things is to hunt down decently-priced curtains for the front of the house.

Hahaha, Charlotte has started "dancing", standing up and bouncing, every time music with a beat comes on. It's SO cute.

That's about all the time I have for now, so I'm off. Adios!

Oh, the title is from a Mumford and Sons song, Below My Feet. It's absolutely beautiful and it really resonates with me. Go, listen, enjoy!

263 Replies to Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn

re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Sat Mar 16, 2013 02:24 AM
I spent all day helping out at dance performances and I loved it. Since I hadn't signed up to dance at any of them, I took on a support role (line the kiddos up, have bobby pins and sock glue on hand, etc) and I was expecting to have the desire to get out on the stage and dance along, but I didn't.

After the last performance, I got to meet a 104(!!!) Year old man. His wife had died 5 years ago, he remembers earning 50 cents a week as a sharecropper during the great depression, and was right outside of Nagasaki when it was hit with the atom bomb during WWII. He showed us these knobs on his arms that grew from the radiation. The look in his haunted eyes when he talked about it was so sobering. Sometimes, I seem to forget that those things aren't just stories in books, people lived them. History, is, after all, His Story, and today I got to relive some of those moments in the form of memories with someone who saw them firsthand. I feel privileged to have been able to hear. I shook his hand, thanked him for his service to our country, and told him I'd see him next year. He said "no thanks, I miss my wife and really want to see her".

Anyway... The kids are in bed and hubby is out with my father in law for a bit. I think I'm going to take a nice long shower and curl up with "The way of perfection, and reflections on divine love" by St. Teresa of Avila. I really feel like I could be such a better person than I am, and I know that starts with my thinking. I'm hoping that reading up on other's methods of living a holier and better life will inspire me as well.
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn (karma: 1)
By SoClassy
On Sat Mar 16, 2013 02:52 AM
Love hearing about other DDNers who are from Texas. Sweet tea, thanks ;)
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Sun Mar 17, 2013 07:04 PM
Oh, hello St. Patrick's Day. Nice to see you.

I would say I celebrated by dancing all weekend and then attending St. Patrick's Cathedral... But that's how every weekend of mine goes. OK did have a good giggle at the Google home page, though.

DDN, what is your favorite Irish song? Mine has always been "a soldier's song" (also the national anthem). I tear up every time I hear it.

We'll sing a song, a soldier's song,
With cheering rousing chorus,
As round our blazing fires we throng,
The starry heavens o'er us;
Impatient for the coming fight,
And as we wait the morning's light,
Here in the silence of the night,
We'll chant a soldier's song.

Soldiers are we
whose lives are pledged to Ireland;
Some have come
from a land beyond the wave.
Sworn to be free,
No more our ancient sire land
Shall shelter the despot or the slave.
Tonight we man the gap of danger
In Erin's cause, come woe or weal
"Mid cannons" roar and rifles peal,
We'll chant a soldier's song.
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Wed Mar 20, 2013 12:58 AM
Can I do something right? Please?
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By PinUpGirlmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu Mar 21, 2013 08:54 PM
^Of course you can. Stop being so hard on yourself. Trust me, I should probably be taking that advice right now.

<3
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Mar 25, 2013 03:42 AM
Thanks, darling <3 and yes, take that to heart too. I'm sorry you're dealing with crap.

I have just felt so off the past few weeks. I'm sure part of it is adjusting to the new house, but Hubby and I seem to be at odds more often than not lately and it's really bothering me. I feel like I've put a ton of effort into the house and he doesn't care; he feels like he's been busting his bum at work and I don't care. Both of our efforts at reconciling have just gone belly up, or we'll get along for a little bit and then go back to being testy with one another. I really don't like it, but I'm perplexed because none of our normal conflict management skills are working. I feel a visit to our therapist coming on, which may not be a bad thing. It's a good idea for me to check in with him sometime soon anyway. Two birds with one stone and all.

You guys, my younger sister N is having a really rough time lately. I keep my contact with her to a minimum because she's done some really hurtful things in the past and I feel like it would be stupid to put myself in the situation where she can hurt me again, but my heart goes out to her. I really want to open up and help her out (she's dealing with pretty severe depression, but thanks to how we were raised she believes getting a therapist or doctor involved would make things worse) and tell her about my experience, but that would put me in the position that I've been trying to avoid for the past few years. I feel like my inaction would be selfish, but my involvement would be stupid. I'm starting to really worry for her. I don't know, DDN, what do you think?

I'm off to do a bit if pen-to-paper writing and then sleep. Night all.
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Apr 01, 2013 03:38 PM
Charlotte is walking. Geeze Louise.

Life's been pretty good. I feel like we're finally getting to a "new normal", and it's nice. I'm looking forward to the end of the school year so I don't have to make the trek out to Diggy's school twice a day. I'm leaning strongly toward homeschooling the kiddos next year, and I feel like I'm getting to the point in my life that I'm finally organized enough to be capable of such ASN undertaking.

Dance is going decently- I'm still sore from Saturday and it's great. Breaking in my new hard shoes is giving my blisters blisters, but that's okay. It's part of the landscape. I think I'll be in a better position to dance well at the next feis (april 20th) since I'm not being pulled in a thousand directions like I was at the last feis.

We have a housewarming party on Sunday and I'm freaking out a bit. I am far from spectacular when it comes to hostessing, and so I'm reminding myself that I have the ability, all a need to do is have some confidence in myself. I checked out a few books to double-check the etiquette side of stuff, and so even if the party isn't stellar at least I won't end up offending anyone, lol.

Mmkay, off to finish working. I hate how the house seems to explode over the weekend...
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By hyehokismember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Mon Apr 01, 2013 11:35 PM
Want to see your new home... dying to see pics... please post!!!

Po
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue Apr 02, 2013 02:15 PM
How inconsiderate am I? Sorry! I've been waiting until we get totally unpacked to take pictures, and since there's still the odd box in the corner here and there i've held off. This weekend we're doing our housewarming parties (one for parents and grandparents; we're calling it the "respectable" party that'll include finger sandwiches and lemonade and one for friends that'll include alcohol, pizza, and Cards Against Humanity), and the house'll be in tip-top shape for that so I'll make sure and get some pictures to share :)

I walked in to the girls' room today to find Charlotte trying to put a pair of pants on. I guess she's just decided to grow up totally. And she's consistently been saying her first "real" word- kitty cat. Of course, it comes out as "kee-ca'", but it's crazy adorable and every time she sees a cat she says it.

Strangely enough, her transition into toddlerhood isn't making me pine for another brand new baby, on the instinctual level or otherwise. Hubby and I have been saying that we're not closed to the idea of a 4th, but I'm starting to think that this is it. And I feel comfortable with that idea, which I didn't before Charlotte came. Hm.

It's raining here and making everything look extra green. It's great. I'm not looking forward to the cold front the rain is bringing, but I'll enjoy what I can get.

And I'm off to be productive or something. Lol. We'll see.
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue Apr 02, 2013 09:50 PM
Okay, the previous owners of this house were disgusting slobs. The more I deep clean, the more I find places that haven't been touched for YEARS, if ever.

Yuck yuck yuck.

I'm on the verge of calling a professional in just to get it up to "not so icky" status.

In other news, I'm totally gung-ho about painting my laundry room now.

Okay, back to work. I'll take a break from the grime and tidy up some hot spots as well as unpack a few boxes. I need to contemplate dinner as well.
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue Apr 02, 2013 11:13 PM
www.youtube.com . . .

Charlotte walking. And clapping for herself because she's brilliant.
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Cienmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue Apr 02, 2013 11:59 PM
Oh my gooood, STOP IT. She is too cute. And from what I can see, your new house looks great!
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By CaffeinePremium member
On Wed Apr 03, 2013 12:20 AM
Charlotte is adorable! And so proud of herself! :D
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu Apr 04, 2013 07:14 PM
Thanks you guys! She's pretty fun :)

Day 2 of subbing in for someone else for recess duty... You know, MOST places have winter weather during the winter months and spring weather during the spring months. Is it like that here? Nooooo, of course not. It was 70° in January, and yesterday and today it's been in the 40's. Yuck yuck yuck. The girlies handled the weather like champs.

I'm tired enough to where I think I'll take a nap here in the car while the girls are sleeping. Since recess ends only 2 hours before school ends, I just hang around in the area. It's pointless going home... I'd arrive and have to turn right back around.

At least I'm catching up on volunteer hours.

Charlotte has decided that night is when she ought to be teething and playing. Oy.

And that's the end of my disjointed diary entry. It's Car Nap time!
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Malianda
On Fri Apr 05, 2013 10:23 AM
Wow. Creativity is what you have. This is quite great i guess. And you have just made it the best picture ever
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Fri Apr 05, 2013 06:04 PM
Hello Malianda, thank you for visiting my diary! I did not take that picture, but I loved it so much I wanted to make it the "theme" of my diary. The picture represents the ability to spread love to those around you using your own unique talents, like the photographer who took this picture did. That is what I am trying to focus on with this diary :) It looks like you are new to DDN- welcome!

Got the girlie's room pretty much set up and Dig's room halfway there. I'm pretty excited. I'm taking a break to refocus and eat, then it's off to organize the pile of stuff that we haven't really found a home for yet that's just sitting in the living room.

Just a funny note... Last night, I realized the wall in our bathroom was textured and painted over wallpaper, so when we go to remodel, it'll be really easy to change the wall. The previous homeowners were apparently just really lazy.

So my mom has this idea that all the mass shootings that have ever occurred have been caused by the antidepressants/antipsychotic drugs the shooter was taking. I pointed out to her (again) that it's a LOT more likely that their actions were caused by mental disturbances that they had previously sought help on, but she's dismissing that. Yesterday she brought it up again and added "Anyone on an antidepressant has had their conscience lobotomized".
I know I shouldn't let her careless and misinformed opinion get to me, but it does. I have learned not to emotionally lean on her regardless of WHO she happens to be, but it still stings. To know that, if she knew I was on antidepressants, she'd think I was capable of going on a mass-murder spree, just devastates me. I'm still Me, just more stable. I'm not set on "Self Destruct". I have my conscience. I am a better mother, and a much better person now that I'm not constantly having to mentally battle it out with my brain.

Rant over. It's not a battle I'm going to win and it just reinforced my decision not to let her know about that area of my life. I don't want to be demonized and I don't want her to feel betrayed by me.

On a happier note, it's a beautiful day today and I'm looking forward to the sun. I'm tempted to go and try to mow the lawn for Hubby so he doesn't have to worry about it tomorrow, but I don't think I'm going to have time. We'll see.
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By hyehokismember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Sat Apr 06, 2013 04:29 PM
I still cant wait to see your house!! I am so excited for you guys!!!!! In regards to the antidepressants- sometimes they can cause symptoms of other paranoia's. Usually the case is if someone is pretty sporadic in taking them. There are just a lot of mentally sick people out there that just don't want help too.

Po
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Apr 08, 2013 07:04 PM
^Very true, but what percentage is that? I'm sure a TON of people are on medications and don't react like that. Just because someone happened to be on a medication when they went off doesn't mean it was the medication. And like you said, that's assuming they're actually TAKING their medication. Anyway, I'm pretty much over it. I just needed to vent my frustration. Thank you for adding your perspective :)

The housewarming parties were... interesting.

Saturday evening was supposed to be a party with some of our like-aged friends. It was less formal; pizza, beer, and ice cream were on the menu. We were going to just play a few games and whatnot. Pretty much everyone that was invited ended up having to cancel last minute (or, in some cases, AFTER the last minute), and so it ended up just being my younger sister (who was spending the night) and me so we watched the first half of A Midsummer Night's Dream as we ate popcorn and ice cream. My brother and sister in law showed up at about 11:30, but only stayed for a bit. Although it was kind of a fail, I still really enjoyed the evening.

Sunday was more of a success; we had plenty of food and family over. It was more like a cocktail party, and we gave tours of the house and mingled. My Mom and Dad in law gave us a new rug (which is beautiful), and my grandmother in law gave us a card with some gift cards to Home Depot and Lowes. Overall, it was fun to show off the house to family. We've had them rooting for our family from the beginning, and they all seemed very happy for us. It was great :)

After the party (which was at brunchtime), we put the kids down for naps and crashed. They slept until 4, Hubby let me sleep until 6:30 (bless that man!). We ate leftover food and enjoyed the warm weather and quiet evening.

Like I said, my little sister spent the night Friday and Saturday night. She went to church with us, and I think it was a bit of a culture shock. She'd never been to a Catholic Mass before, and we went to the church that was closest to us to get back in time to finish the party prep, and it just happened to be a Charismatic Catholic Church. She seemed pretty taken back by the enthusiasm of the parishoners; I suppose she was expecting Latin and Gregorian Chants, lol.

She said something that I found hysterical- Apparently, I remind my sister of Anne Hathaway. Not because of my looks, but because I used to be awkward and goofy looking and now I am "pretty and really confident". It's amusing, but I also hope that I'm being a good example for her to follow, and hopefully she understands that being cool as a teenager isn't the be-all-end-all. And as for me, I think the big difference is that I've learned to laugh at myself when it comes to my weaknesses, and really enhance my strengths.

I forgot to register for the upcoming feis by the cutoff. I could still register, but it would be a $20 late fee. I just can't justify an extra $20 for my stupidity, so I suppose I'll be in a teacher role again at this feis and not worry about competing. And that's fine- my hardshoes still need some breaking in and I'm just not invested in competing like I used to be.

Okay, off to be productive. Maybe. This week is a bit busy, so I don't feel bad about taking it easy today. I've already scratched a few things off my list (Set up tours for Montessori schools and set up a pest control maintenance plan), so even if all I did today is make dinner I'd still have had a fairly good day.
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Fri Apr 12, 2013 01:58 AM
Holy Montessori! I've been on 3 school tours in 2 days. Listy list:

1. First school was very impressive. The cars parked outside had the "my child goes to (name of most expensive middle/high school in the area)" bumper stickers, and apparently alongside art and music the kids have etiquette a few times a week. All of their teachers are certified, the teacher/student ratio is great, and they go through 8th grade. Drawback is that they only have afternoon openings and a 5-day week is required. I'm also a little worried about the air of elitism that seemed to be present. The last thing my kids need is to be taught they're better than anyone else.

2. I think this was more of a daycare that uses the Montessori method. Everything seemed just a little too sterilized, the teachers seemed just a little too detached. Only the director of the school was actually certified in the montessori method, all the other teachers were just certified in childcare. If I had to ever use full-time daycare, I would definitely look further into this place, but for the time being it's off my list. It's a shame, because it would have been incredibly convenient. They also had a garden that the children tended, which I think is a fantastic idea.

3. This one is a small Montessori school that branched out of a home school co-op. The teacher seems competent and is certified, the kids seemed VERY happy and friendly. The teacher also does a workshop for parents that teaches them how to bring Montessori into the home which would be cool. However, they're only mornings 3 days a week, so I feel like it would be necessary to supplement. However, that might be a way to "ease" into homeschooling, which I would like to do eventually.

Anyway... I went to home depot today and chose colors for my laundry room. This blue: www.homedepot.com . . .

With this pink www.homedepot.com . . . as an accent color. It's a lot more of a hot pink than that shows, though.

Okay, I'm off. *swishes cape in front of face and runs off*
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu Apr 11, 2013 08:08 PM
Edited by Nyssasistic (74238) on 2013-04-11 20:21:32
I lied. House pictures.

1. Living room, view 1.
2. Living room, view 2.
3. Other side of the fireplace: study and dining room.
4. The sun room, it's our library and the kid's playroom. It's my favorite room because it gets some awesome natural sunlight. The kiddos love it, and when we have company I can just close the doors and tada, clean and ready to entertain :)
5. The sink and my adorable curtains. They're one of my favorite buys.
6. The laundry room as it is right now.
7. A closeup of the new colors against the old.
8. The dining room from the kitchen. The kitchen hasn't changed much, so I didn't feel the need to re-shoot it.

The kids were already asleep, so I'll do their rooms later :)
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By PinUpGirlmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Fri Apr 12, 2013 12:03 PM
Your house is adorable! We have a sunroom, too. My dad uses it on weekends to read the paper after he's gone running. And the cats use it for their napping spaces. We don't have a lot of furniture in there, so it's not much of an entertaining space.
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By CaffeinePremium member
On Sun Apr 14, 2013 03:05 AM
Your house looks lovely - and big!

I love sunrooms. Ours is similar: the playroom/library because it gets the best light in the house. We pretty much spend all day in there. :)
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Apr 15, 2013 01:48 AM
Thanks you guys! I really love it.

I love our sunroom. All that sunlight is like an instant mood booster :) it's about twice the size of our apartment, so it feels palacial.

So I have a dental appointment tomorrow. I'm nervous. I was dealt a terrible genetic hand when it comes to teeth, and they're in bad shape. I keep telling myself that the outcome will be worth it, but I know I'm going to get a talking-to from the dentist even though I'm obsessive about keeping my teeth clean.

After that, we'll be off to a doc appointment for Digs. Then a bit of dance practice with a fellow student.

This is another busy week. especially this upcoming weekend. I'm feeling fairly ill-equipped to handle the stress I'll be facing this week.

Okay, bedtime for me. I've been crazy tired lately. Bleh.
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn (karma: 1)
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue Apr 23, 2013 08:11 AM
Last night, a block away from my parents someone tried to set off a car bomb. He was angry at a babysitter that lived in an apartment complex, and the entire area was blocked off and a SWAT team was called in. Luckily, they were able to get the dude into custody without anyone getting hurt, but with everything that has been happening it just makes me want to hole up in my house with my kiddos and hide them from the world that is proving to be much scarier than I had ever anticipated.

It has made me think long and hard about how I'm going to have to be even more proactive in raising them with the attitude that they're here to make the world a better place. Raising them with servants' hearts. When I look at our family, I realize we are SO blessed. We are fortunate enough to have a comfortable life, and I think that part of being a good steward is using what we have been given to help those that need it. I'll be pondering how exactly I can instill that attitude in my kiddos for a while, I think.

Anyway, exciting stuff is happening as far as dance goes. I'm not going to talk about it until my t's are crossed and my i's are dotted, but I'm pretty happy :)

Aaaaand I'm off to prep my laundry room for painting! Yay!
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