Forum: Arts / Diaries

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re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu Jun 13, 2013 09:40 AM
I ended up going to a different location and exchanging that swimsuit for the same one, just a different size. It works!

So summer is in full swing. I'm going stir crazy. So are the kids, it seems. I think I'm going to invest in a small kiddie pool to get them outside more often. Our back porch is nice and covered, so it'd be perfect.


Anyway, I know it's not much of an update, but that's that. I just have no motivation to do ANYTHING.

Oh, but I want a bike. A lot.
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn (karma: 1)
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Jun 17, 2013 10:48 AM
I was walking into church yesterday and was stung in the arm by a bee. I'm allergic to bees.
Cue handing the kids off to Mikhail and high-tailing it to the nearby Walgreens to get some extra-strength benadryl. I made it through the second half of Mass (I walked in during the second half of the homily) and the Father's Day lunch (but just barely) before I passed out in the car. We went to my parent's house to spend the rest of Father's Day with my dad, but I don't even remember walking into the house. I woke up at 5:30 on their couch. The Benadryl must have totally knocked me out.
Today, my arm is still swollen, but it's not nearly as bad as past reactions have been.

So I'm pretty sure I'm going to homeschool the kiddos, and possibly start a co-op. I have hopes of eventually starting a small school. Shoot for the stars, right?

I've been watching Borgia on Netflix and goodness, it's crazy. What a messed up family.

Okay, I'm off to go take care of kiddos. Swimming lessons start today! I've got to make sure everyone has their swimsuits ready :)
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By PinUpGirlmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue Jun 18, 2013 06:11 AM
My aunt is in the process of starting her own Catholic school. We've been going over the marketing materials for her (and whoever wrote them clearly has no idea what they're talking about. They were horrible). It's been kind of fun to create the kind of school I would've wanted to go to. We joke that eventually the entire family will end up working there. I'm going to be the cheerleading coach / history teacher, apparently. :P

I say go for it. If what's out there doesn't work for you, come up with your own path.
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue Jun 18, 2013 08:37 PM
That's really cool! If/when the school-starting time comes, I may pester you to ask for any words of wisdom that your aunt may have gathered.

Swimming lessons are great! Charlotte has fully embraced them and she spent the better part of today playing and flirting with the instructor. I was a tad bit worried about Evie being in the "big kids" class with Digory (rather than the mommy and me class), but she loves it. I have to keep in mind that she's a LOT more outgoing than Digs is, and she gets comfortable in situations much faster. I rocked the swimsuit, and was a little proud of myself for doing so. I have always felt self conscious in bathing suits, and knowing that I look decent in mine right now means a LOT more than it probably should.

Since all is cleared, I can happily say that this dress is on it's way! I have grand plans for it, although I don't think I'll have to do a whole lot to it; it's SO beautiful as it is.

My arm is still swollen, red, and painful. I'be been extra sparing on the benadryl because I have other stuff going on that I can't exactly fallen asleep in the middle of, but it's still doing MUCH better than it normally would. I'm thankful that I have use of my arm at all.

Sigh. Charlotte is teething in a big way (yay molars!), and I've been losing my temper with her constant insistence to be held and nursed way too often. I think this is a fantastic exercise in patience for me, but in some ways I feel like it's a test that I'm failing. I feel like I need more me time in order to be my best for the kiddos. I need to talk to hubby and figure out times that I can have to myself.

Okay, it's sleep time. Night DDN!
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu Jun 20, 2013 09:57 PM
"Were we too young? Our heads too strong?
To bear the weight of these lover's eyes.
'Cause I feel numb, beneath your tongue
Beneath the curse of these lover's eyes.

But do not ask the price I paid,
I must live with my quiet rage,
Tame the ghosts in my head,
That run wild and wish me dead.
Should you shake my ash to the wind
Lord, forget all of my sins
Oh, let me die where I lie
Beneath the curse of my lover's eyes."


Feeling a special Mumford and Sons brand of angsty tonight. I hope the rest of my beloved DDN is in better spirits.
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Jun 24, 2013 08:27 AM
In a much better mood now. Hubby and I have been biting each other's heads off for inconsequential stuff lately and I'm ashamed to say that I'm just as guilty as he is. We spent a good chunk of the weekend working on getting our communication back on track so it doesn't keep happening. I need to work on my own ability to be virtuous, patient, and especially kind before I get on to hubby (or anyone, for that matter) for not meeting my expectations. Hubby and I are back to being friends, and I hope we'll be able to stay that way :)

So my dress got here last week and I LOVE it! I have such a great opportunity in this dress: it's great the way it is, but I can see so much that I can do to make it mine and I'm so excited to personalize it.

Summer is being so kind to me. We're almost to July and haven't had a day over 100° yet, which is a pleasant surprise. Only having to deal with 2 months of triple digits? Sign me up!

So I've been thinking about plastic surgery and the stigma it has. I've always been interested in possibly getting a nose job, but any time I think about it I can almost hear the chiding from everyone else for not embracing my unique beauty. The thing is that I believe the rest of my face is great, but my nose is so prominent that it distracts from everything else (at best). On the other hand, though, I feel like if I were to do it I will have failed at accepting myself for who I am, not to mention the money it would cost. I could never spend that much money on something so trivial, and I think if I had access to that amount of money I would end up giving it away to a charity rather than change my nose with it. There are children in the world dying of starvation- why on earth would I put the way I look above their suffering?

That just sounds so goofy, I know. But I do think I'd feel guilty if I did it. Lucky for me, we definitely don't have thousands of dollars lying around, so I may not have to EVER deal with it outside of abstract thoughts.

Okay, I'm off the get my week started. I have lots to do today!
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu Jun 27, 2013 08:32 AM
TMI warning.

So I started my period. It's only a big deal because it's the first one since Charlotte was born, and it explains a LOT as far as the past few weeks of feeling more baby hungry than normal and the crazy moodiness/bloating I was experiencing. Including the pregnancy, I've gone almost 2 years without a proper cycle. Aside from the cramping I'm dealing with, I'm pretty excited to pull out my charts and start recording again. There's just something so empowering in being able to know exactly what my body is doing, not having to guess or "fix" it in any way. Okay, happy dance done :)

Last day of swim lessons today. They've been fun! Charlotte has been a total mermaid and Digs and Evie have learned so much!

Today is supposed to be the first day of triple digits for the area. Now we're getting into proper summer weather ;)
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu Jul 04, 2013 07:11 AM
So I've failed at keeping up with my diary this week. Sorry all.

So today is Independence Day. Yay!

Yesterday, Charlotte pulled my nexus off my lap and it landed face-down on our tile floor, which shattered the screen. For all of you keeping up with me, this is my second Nexus because my first shattered mysteriously and I repairing the screen would cost the same as buying a new one. However, this time around I bought a shatter/water damage/etc protection plan, so they're going to fix it- no questions asked- for free. Hooray! I have to deal with the inconvenience of not having it for a while, but that's fine.

So I've officially decided on homeschooling. I have a schedule and curricula for both Digs and Evie mapped out. I need to organize our playroom so it's a schoolroom as well, but I'm making good progress I think. I'll definitely be ready by September.

Right now, the kiddos are quietly playing, Hubby is sleeping, the house is clean, and all is well. Life is good :)
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu Jul 11, 2013 08:14 AM
I'm pretty sure caffeine (especially in the form of Coffee) is proof that there IS a God and He loves me very, very much.

I don't know if I mentioned it before, but I was going to let Digory and Evie do a lemonade stand, use the money from that to go buy canned goods, and take them to our area's food bank... But now that it's going to be near 100+ degrees for the following week (at least), my plans are foiled. I procrastinated too long. Time to shelf that idea until September and go back to the drawing board.

I think I'm going to make a surprise "congratulations" cake to our dancers that attended nationals. 2 of the 3 were there for the first time, and I heard they danced spectacularly. They put SO much practice and preparation into it and I want them to know that I (as well as everyone else) am proud of them.

Oh, I started a blog. Again. I'm hoping this one sticks a bit better. It's going to be more about me developing my domestic awesomeness rather than anything else, but it might be fun to follow if you want to know more about me, I guess.
Spoiler: Show
.

And with that, I bid ya'll adieu. :D
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu Jul 11, 2013 09:00 AM
Louise inspired a childhood memory post.

When I was 4, there was a pack of stray dogs that would roam my neighborhood. One day, I decided to run away with them, fell down, scraped up my knee, and promptly ran home. I got in trouble for being outside during school hours (it was a cardinal rule for us homeschoolers that we couldn't go out front during the day, or we would risk being picked up by a truancy officer. At the time, my family was also being investigated by CPS because of a neighbor that was angry that we'd stay up playing in our backyard until all hours of the night and keep her awake, so my parents were REALLY wary of us getting picked up by the police), and to this day, I still have that scar on my knee. It looks like a comma, actually.

Once, I decided to play "doctor" while my mom was giving a piano lesson. I snuck out of the house into the street, and stripped nekkid and played in the puddles that a recent rain had left. A police officer found me, put my dress on me, and took me home. I remember being VERY upset because I wanted to put my underwear back on, but the officer couldn't understand what I was saying and so they were left in the street, wadded up by a drain, until it rained again and they were washed away.

I just realized that I have SO many "sneaking out of the house" stories that it's not even funny. I am SO lucky we had a tightknit neighborhood growing up or I would have been been in SO much trouble.

So back to positive memories...

I used to go outside in the early morning and look at the dewdrops on the grass and flowers. I thought they were fairy tracks. I grudgingly gave up that belief long after I had stopped believing in Santa Clause.

My younger sister and I were playmates while we were younger, more out of necessity than choice. Since I was the older one, I always got to be the "star" of the play-pretend while she was the supporting actress. Games we played included: "Rich girl and maid", "Adventure girl and bad girl", "Poor girl and maid" (where I was a half-starved wretch, and she nursed me back to health and then I'd find out I was actually the daughter of a king), and- my favorite- "Gymnast and Judge" (where I'd be a gold-medal gymnast at the olympics and she would award me 1st place every time).

At one point in time- probably closer to my teens, I would write secret love letters in code to a online friend I had. I'd never send them to him (and to this day he has never been tipped off to my "true" feelings for him, lol), so I'd just save them to the family computer instead. I was mortified when my oldest brother "cracked" the code and read the letters. Luckily, he was (and is) a very kind person and didn't tell anyone about them.

Thinking through all of my childhood memories and trying to grab good ones is harder than I thought. They all seem to be pretty "tainted" with very sad endings.

Okay, this was a depressing post. I'll just end it with thanking my lucky stars that my kids aren't dealing with everything I dealt with at their age. In fact, the only time ANY of my kids have escaped the house is when Digory was a year old and snuck out of my parent's house with his 2-year old cousin.

Thank goodness we can change our paths. My adulthood stories have much happier endings so far :)
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Fri Jul 12, 2013 11:26 AM
So I don't care what side of the fence you're on, this ad is a total WTF.
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Sat Jul 13, 2013 11:17 PM
Sometimes people are so steeped in their own idea of how something should be that trying to dialogue with them is like talking at a brick wall. Whatevs.

Okay, I'm going to brag on myself for a second. I have been a housekeeping superstar this week. The only reason I even mention it is because it has been SO NICE having a consistently clean house.

Dance was fantastic today, but I was focusing so hard on getting a step right that I danced through pain that I later found out was the skin on the back of my heel tearing itself away. Ouch. Our big annual workshop is next weekend, so I'm really hoping that it's healed by next week or I'm SOL.

I've been watching Merlin on Netflix and I'm loving it. I love historical-ish dramas and this is no exception. And the way Arthur looks at Guinevere is just soooooo cute.

So this morning I wake up to a surprise- Hubby went garage sale-ing and found me a bike and bike trailer! I am SO incredibly excited! What a sweet and awesome gesture. Now, assuming it isn't going to be 100+ degrees forever (today it was 104), I can take the kiddos out and about if Mikhail has the car. Yay!

I also got a monster 2-hour nap today. I totally forgot how amazing solid naps are. However, I have a feeling I'm going to be up wayyyyyy too late tonight because of it.

I hope DDNland is having a great weekend :)
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu Jul 18, 2013 06:59 AM
This was my high school principal my sophomore and junior years in high school.

He always made me uneasy and I did my best to stay clear of him because he made me feel uncomfortable; I guess my instincts were right.

Doesn't sound like the first time he's done something like this either. I am just so horrified that he's been an elementary school principal the last few years. I hope any other victims come forward so he can get the maximum prison sentence.
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By PinUpGirlmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu Jul 18, 2013 07:10 AM
^Dare I say he looks like a child molestor? Eep!
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Fri Jul 19, 2013 10:14 AM
Inorite? He's been all over the news here.

So I know that Celtic Tiger wasn't an AMAZING Michael Flatley show, but there are parts of it that I just absolutely love. My favorite is probably "The 1916 Uprising":

www.youtube.com . . .

Being able to choreograph an a capella hardshoe piece is much more difficult than most would think, and Flatley did a fantastic job.

Not to mention it makes me want to go pick a fight, which with me is kind of a big deal, lol.


Our dance school's annual workshop/dance intensive starts tomorrow. I'm excited!
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Tansey
On Fri Jul 19, 2013 07:05 PM
Thanks for sharing that link. I'd never seen that before. Incredible! I've always loved a capella hard shoe, and that one is really dramatic.
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue Jul 23, 2013 07:06 AM
It's great! If you liked it, you may like the clip that comes right before it called "A Call to Arms". It's definitely dramatic, but I don't think Michael Flatley has EVER NOT done overdramatic.

We had our 3-day dance intensive this weekend. My heels are shredded and I have a few blisters on the bottom of my feet, but getting to dance 8 hours a day 3 days in a row was GLORIOUS. I really do love Irish Dance.

So the Montessori school I wanted to send the kids to was going to close after this year and gave me the final push to decide on homeschooling, and then on Friday I got an email saying circumstances had changed and they were going to stay open! It's a very small "school" (about 7 kids and one certified Montessori teacher) and it only goes 3 half days a week, so it'll be perfect for our family to transition to homeschooling for Digory next year. I'm VERY happy that this option is once again open.

I'm incredibly tired. I'd love a nap, but there's a lot to do today so I'll have to save it for another day. At least I have my coffee :)
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn (karma: 1)
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu Jul 25, 2013 12:15 PM
We visited the Montessori school today and I was more impressed than even I thought I would be! From observing the kiddos, I think it'll be a perfect match.

So just a few things about married life (not mine specifically, but still:

First, I have NEVER acted that badly, but I've certainly thrown more mature versions of this wife's tantrum. I hope next time I figuratively stomp my foot and cross my arms, I remember this video: www.patheos.com . . .

And then, I hope that I ALWAYS think of my marriage in these terms: lisajobaker.com . . .

Hubby and I are VERY good about doing things equally as dramatic as running through an airport. We're fantastic at the grand gestures. However, I hope that one day we'll master the quiet, mundane love that it takes for a relationship to truly last, not just start.
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn (karma: 1)
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue Jul 30, 2013 10:42 AM
So for bed last night I wore a new pair of yoga pants.

It's almost noon and I haven't changed out of my pajamas because the thought of wearing anything less comfortable than these amazing pants is inconceivable.

And that's been how my day has gone, ya'll.
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue Aug 06, 2013 09:44 AM
I just finished out one of the hardest phone calls ever.

So I've probably talked about my older sister before- I have always just absolutely adored her. We don't agree on some things, but we've always loved and respected each other.

She broke up with her girlfriend of almost 3 years a few months ago, and in less than a month was living with a new girlfriend. My kids got super, uber attached to her now-ex and still talk about her and wanting to see her. My sister and the ex didn't part on good terms, so to keep the drama to a minimum Hubby and I decided to not pursue our relationship with Ex anymore, although we still occasionally chat over facebook.

My sister has been really trying to get the kids used to her new girlfriend, who seems like a completely likeable and lovely person. However, I've learned my lesson and Hubby and I have agreed that we're not going to let the kiddos get close to any significant others until they're very permanent because of the risk of them getting overly attached again.

My older sister called this morning asking if the kids could spend the night Thursday night. I decided that sidestepping the subject just wasn't working anymore, and I explained pretty much everything I said here. Now she's upset with me, and was obviously hurt. I feel like a horrible person. I made sure to explain that if she wanted to hang out with them on her own, or if she and her girlfriend wanted to hang out with me sans the kids (since I'm old enough to understand, whereas the kids aren't), then I'd be happy to. Sigh.

I shouldn't have put it off this long, but I really don't like conflict and I REALLY didn't want to upset her. However, it's just made things worse. I feel stuck between hurting my kids and hurting my sister- a rock and a hard place- and I really don't like it.
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu Aug 08, 2013 08:17 AM
Coffeeeeeee! Coffeecoffeecoffeecoffee! <3<3<3<3

Okay, now that's out of the way...

I had a really, really really tough session with my therapist yesterday. The homework I was given is going to be really difficult too. It's the first time that I truly thought "Well crap, I might just be too messed up to be fixable".

So I am blatantly fishing for compliments here. DDN, could you tell me how awesome I am? I really need some sort of emotional boost because I'm feeling very powerless and hopeless right now.
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn (karma: 1)
By PinUpGirlmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu Aug 08, 2013 08:46 AM
The hardest homework is the homework that will benefit you the most in the long run. I know that's not necessarily what you wanted to hear, but it's true. For a while, I thought I was afraid of getting better. That I wouldn't know who I was without the seizures and where (I think) they came from. In reality, I'm afraid of what it's going to take to get better. Getting better, whether is epilepsy, PTSD, or depression, ain't easy. It takes a ton of strength to look your demons in the face, accept them, and let them go. You're not a lost cause. You're not too broken to fix. You're undertaking something that most people don't have the balls to do.

I forget you're younger than me and raising 3 kids. I know I'm not emotionally capable of that right now. Putting together the next generation can't be easy. Like IKEA furniture. :D
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn (karma: 1)
By TheMidlakeMusemember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu Aug 08, 2013 12:12 PM
Uh, how awesome are you?! Very awesome, that's how much.

Totally agree with PinUp--it sucks to do mental / emotional housecleaning but it is so worth it in the end (hey, just like regular housecleaning!)

Chin up. You are pretty much a fountain of strength and I know you'll get through this. :)
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn (karma: 2)
By Tansey
On Thu Aug 08, 2013 01:56 PM
Edited by Tansey (209516) on 2013-08-08 14:00:48
Nyssa, you are truly awesome! You're a good wife, a terrific mother to 3 little people. You're a thoughtful woman who made a courageous break with the faith of her childhood in order to embrace one that reflected your true beliefs. You've worked hard to preserve your relationship with your family of origin despite the way they reacted to your conversion. Your children's educational experience is so important to you that you have invested considerable time investigating all the options for them. These are just the bits of awesomeness I know of from reading your DDN diaries. And on top of all this awesomeness, you've somehow carved out a tiny bit of room for your love of Irish dancing. Nyssa, you rock. Don't ever think otherwise.
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn (karma: 1)
By leogirlPremium member
On Fri Aug 09, 2013 08:04 AM
Nyssa, you are an amazing woman. The fact that you left your session feeling low is just proof of how seriously you take it. Things matter to you. It's a gift. And you can do it.
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