Forum: Arts / Diaries

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re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Sat Aug 10, 2013 02:28 PM
Aw, thanks ladies! I've been doing a lot of emotional housecleaning and it really does suck. I keep telling myself that I'm strong enough to do it, and try to think about the end product rather than the work, and then when that doesn't work I come onto DDN and get lovebombed by you guys :) That ALWAYS works.
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Aug 12, 2013 09:26 AM
I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier...
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue Aug 13, 2013 12:03 PM
Coffee makes me a better person.

I am nicer, happier, more awake, more ready to greet the day with excitement... I am a better person when I drink coffee. And I'm okay with that.

Today has been a good day overall. Here's to hoping the good times continue!
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn (karma: 1)
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Wed Aug 14, 2013 04:15 PM
This is just SUPER cool.

twistedsifter.com . . .
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu Aug 15, 2013 01:14 PM
I JUST FOUND THE PERFECT BIRTHDAY GIFT FOR HUBBY! jfkads;kjlfdjk;l I am SO excited.
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Sat Aug 17, 2013 04:20 PM
Dear YOU,

You know, the you that tells me I'm just not absolutely amazing...

You're wrong. And you're going to be left in the dust while I'm kicking butt and taking names.

Sincerely,

Me.

But really. I'm sick of this. Cut the crap and tell me this stuff to my face.

(not really directed at my beloved DDNers, but it's the only place I can actually write this).
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn (karma: 1)
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Aug 19, 2013 12:12 PM
Yesterday, my husband took me out and we just walked around and window shopped for 5 hours. Nowhere we needed to go, no set schedule we were beholden to... It was amazing!

We get back to my in-laws (who were watching the kiddos), and...

They had thrown me a surprise party.

Cue tears. And feeling loved. And knowing that Hubby's family really, really cares about me.

They showered me with gifts, got a custom made cake, and EVEN sang happy birthday to me!

So maybe they're not blood. But they're the family I got to choose, and I chose well.

I feel really, really lucky. And loved.

Here's to 26!
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue Aug 20, 2013 11:26 AM
It's now less than 4 months away from the Oireachtas. I've decided that I'm going to kick booty this year, and I'm going to put a lot of extra work in to make it that way. Here's my plan I have deemed Operation: Kick Your Seat.

Details:

1. Full Irish Dance "look" Makeover. New hair, new dress, new shoes.

2. Strength: I've lost a LOT of muscle tone since being pregnant and taking breaks. I've been working on getting it back, and specifically targeting my thighs and core. I've been biking (while towing all 3 kids behind me in the bike trailer), and I do feel a difference.

3. Technique: I've been doing turnout exercises every day and have been watching for bendy knees. I'm hoping that my bent knees issue will resolve itself with stronger legs.

4. New Steps: Our workshop was a month ago and I have yet to learn the championship steps. I spent most of the time helping out the prizewinner group, and so I know all of their steps but none of my own. It's time to fix that.

I hope to spend quite a bit of time talking about my goals here. Last time I was really gunning on the competitive circuit was when I was pregnant with Charlotte and just couldn't push myself like I can now. Operation: Kick Your Seat is a go!
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Wed Aug 21, 2013 11:03 AM
Here I've gone and bought myself hair dye, "scheduled" myself to do it while the kids are napping, and now that they're asleep I've realized I'm way too scared to do anything to my hair!

The goofiest bit is that I've had my hair this color before and LOVED it. I have no clue why I'm suddenly so nervous!
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Wed Aug 21, 2013 03:56 PM
I forced myself to do it, and I'm glad I did. I "shelled out" for some GOOD dye and it's a fantastic shade. I'm a brunette once again!
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Fri Aug 23, 2013 11:47 AM
Last night was a really, really weird night.

First, I went shopping with some birthday money and bought myself a leather jacket (faux leather; I'm not ready to invest in a real one), an adorable pair of wedges, and a few t-shirts.

Got home, couldn't sleep. Decided to try some wine to see if that helped. Next thing I know I'm confessing my (long gone) love to former crushes.

Too much wine. But I will look FABULOUS while doing damage control.

Oh, and you guessed it. Coffee is amazing.
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Aug 26, 2013 01:05 PM
PEOPLE! Your kids are BEGINNER dancers. STOP heaping loads of pressure onto them and picking fights because one kid doesn't want to do the 2 hand with the other.

Seriously. Even championship dancers don't act like that and they have a LOT more on the line.

Oy.

In other news, Life is bad. And is good. And is pretty much everything in between too.
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Fri Aug 30, 2013 07:18 AM
So I've kind of been in a bad place mentally the past week or so. I would probably still be there (or worse), but I had a session with my therapist on Wednesday that helped me straighten things out. Long story short, I'm feeling much, much better.

I finally bought the cloth that I'll be using for the bodice of my new solo dress. I'm keeping the skirt, but I'm going to redo the bodice so it matches my personality a bit more. I'm toying with the idea of just making a new skirt for the old bodice as well, but we'll see.

The next step is to make a mock-up with cheap material to make sure the fit is right, and then PRAY because I've never worked with Sequins before!

Operation: Kick Your Seat is going well. It's only a matter of time before I dominate the podium. *nodnod*.
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By leogirlPremium member
On Fri Aug 30, 2013 08:12 AM
I'm so glad you're in a better space! Those low points blow, don't they?
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Sat Aug 31, 2013 07:20 PM
Thanks Leo, I hope you're doing well :)

Had a a run-in with a student at dance today. I'm not going to give details but I'm incredibly upset- and hurt- over it. This is just another episode of Things That Upset Nyssa About Irish Dance and I'm starting to get really, really sick of feeling like I do toward something that I'm supposed to really love.

Deeeeeeep breaths. grrr. argh.
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue Sep 03, 2013 04:23 PM
Dance situation is resolved. Oh, the dramz.

The kids started school today! They had NO problem bidding me adieu and taking off into the classroom. Charlotte, however, had a HARD time not having them around. I am trying to figure out a way to prepare her for when I drop them off tomorrow, but I think she's too young to truly "get" it.

My favorite thing when it comes to the advent of a new school year is that everyone's routine changes dramatically, so it's easier to add new habits in and stick to them. It's like a nice, clean slate- Where everyone else has new year resolutions, I have schoolyear resolutions. It just seems much easier this way.

I'm starting to stress about competing and the Oireachtas in particular. Who am I to be an amazing dancer? my brain seems to be asking, again and again. One of these days, I'll stand at the top of the podium and squash that voice. Preferably sooner rather than later, heh.

My Nexus came in today! Happy day! It's charging right now and I am just thrilled. I will be mobile once again! It's made me realize that my resistance to getting a smartphone may be waning. It would be awfully nice to have something like that.

Okay, time to put out a few fires and figure out why Evie's wailing like a dying cat....
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn (karma: 1)
By PinUpGirlmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Wed Sep 04, 2013 10:59 AM
When I get that negative junk in my head, I do my best to turn it around. Instead of "Who am I to be an amazing dancer", it's "Who am I *not* to be an amazing dancer". Instead of "I can't do this", it's "I've got this". It's not always easy and it's not always that simple, but if you keep up with it, good things will start to happen.

I have this great CD I listen to right before I go to bed that's affirmations. It's specifically designed for people with PTSD, but I think a lot of people can benefit from it. I used to think affirmations were silly and didn't work. Then when I broke it down, it's the same mechanism that built up all the negative thoughts. I kept repeating it to myself and I began to believe it. Why shouldn't that work in reverse? If I keep repeating postive things, I'll start to believe those. It takes getting out of your comfort zone (as sucky as it is to realize negativity is your comfort zone. Blech.). As I have been reminded a lot lately, you grow when you stretch yourself a bit. It's called growing pains for a reason.

I think you're an awesome mom and role model. I frequently forget you're younger than me because of your maturity and poise. I'm confident that our next generation will be just fine if you're bringing them up. :D
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn (karma: 2)
By LlamaLlamaDuckmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Wed Sep 04, 2013 11:53 AM
^ I was going to post something along the same lines but you took the words right out of my mouth.
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Wed Sep 04, 2013 07:39 PM
Thanks, ladies. Why is it that we don't allow ourselves the leeway we'd allow others? Women are notoriously hard on themselves and we shouldn't be.

Second day of school was better than the first! I realized I REALLY enjoy having some time with just Charlotte. I forget that playing with all the kids as a collective is not the same as spending one-on-one time with them. Digory and Evie are good about asking for alone time with me, but Charlotte's not yet old enough to articulate something like wanting to spend alone time with mommy.

I am sitting in a Starbucks right now enjoying the sound of adults conversing, grown-up music playing, and not having any small people trying to steal my cake pop or frappucino. I'm starting to recognize the importance of alone time on my own as well as with each kid. I'll get to go home recharged and ready to face the challenges of tomorrow.

DDN, does EVERY Starbucks blast the air conditioning like this one does? I feel like I'm about to lose circulation to my fingers and I even brought a sweater in. Oy.

Went to Mass this morning and it was beautiful. Sometimes I think I forget how important it is for me to spend some time with God that doesn't involve the commotion that accompanies Sunday services. 7am Mass is perfect for that.
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn (karma: 1)
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Wed Sep 04, 2013 10:56 PM
Someone messages this to me to pass along to my younger sisters:

givenbreath.com . . .

Uh.... Not only no, but hell no.

My reply:

"I really like the idea of the message, but I have a problem with the delivery... She's telling girls not to pose half naked or in an alluring way (sticking the butt out, pouting your lips, stuff that enhances their femininity) because her sons might have sexual thoughts about them, but then she shows a picture of her sons half-dressed using "muscle man" poses (flexing their stuff to show you how masculine they are) to illustrate that? I have a problem with people telling women to cover themselves up not because they should have the self-respect to know they don't need to flaunt themselves, but because men are helpless and might think of them naked if they don't.

I don't mean to rant at you, but this idea is a pet peeve of mine. Unfortunately, boys are bombarded with half-naked women EVERYWHERE they go, and the focus on placing the blame on the woman for what a man thinks just. Isn't. Right. We need to be encouraging our boys to train their thoughts to see past the skin as well as train our girls to not show it. Otherwise, we're just perpetuating the problem.

I agree with the conclusion- girls need to respect the power they hold in their sexuality- but not the process this blogger took to get there."

The entire blog entry screams WELCOME TO RAPE CULTURE! Shame on that mother for trying to blame those girls for her sons' lack of mental self control.
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By PinUpGirlmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu Sep 05, 2013 07:43 AM
^My friend posted this article on FB and I think she summed it up quite well. Boys are going to picture the girls they like naked regardless of whether the girls pose half dressed or not. And girls are going to do the same thing. I know when I was a teenager, I definitely thought about what it would be like to be naked with the boys I liked. People seem to forget that girls have sexual thoughts, too. The girls just get more heat for it than the boys do. Boys will be boys, but girls can't have the same feelings or express their sexuality in similar ways without the social stigma.

It's up to us to change that. Maybe it's just one person at a time, but it's worth it. That's why I blog about my experience and I stay as genuine and authentic as I can. If someone reads something I wrote and reconsiders their views, I've done something positive. Sometimes it's hard or painful to put it into words, but it needs to be said. I'm sick of hiding in the shadows and ignoring my past. Then he wins and that's not right.

/blathering
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn (karma: 1)
By TheMidlakeMusemember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu Sep 05, 2013 09:09 AM
Edited by TheMidlakeMuse (78507) on 2013-09-05 09:10:52
I totally agree with you. Growing up I got this whole message that girls were these completely nonsexual gatekeepers--hence why this woman can feel like she can post a whole bunch of beach pictures of her sons and not see a disconnect. And that's a load of horse hockey. It bothers me that she feels like she needs to control other people's sons and daughters because her kids are perfect and it's just those yucky OTHERS who are out to get them. Her boys are going to feel certain ways and it's way better to talk to them about coping with it instead of trying to turn it outward. Not to mention the whole attitude that "boys can't control themselves" is such an insulting sentiment TO BOYS. Yeeeaachhh.

BTW you are awesome. I sometimes am scared to death of the thought of having sons, just because I didn't grow up with brothers and feel like I'm totally out of my depth, but it helps when I see other awesome moms parenting their kids so well. :D
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu Sep 05, 2013 07:34 PM
TheMidlakeMuse wrote:

that's a load of horse hockey.


Darn Skippy! I also found this making the rounds and agree with it more.

natepyle.com . . .
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Sep 09, 2013 10:50 PM
And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.
re: Keep My Eyes to Serve, My Hands to Learn
By Nyssasisticmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue Sep 10, 2013 09:31 PM
www.upworthy.com . . .

Lovelovelovelove.
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