Forum: Adults / 30 Something

I ain't Never Growing up
By Garnet_Juliet
On Wed Mar 27, 2013 07:32 PM

I am not a mature grown-up! I never know how to do anything important and legal like register to vote, move, interview for a job, do my taxes or even go to the doctor's office. I'm so confounded by anything requiring forms and more than one type of identification.

I don't take care of myself like a grown-up. I skip breakfast. I eat an entire bag of cheese puffs after dinner. I don't get enough sleep.

I don't vacuum or dust nearly often enough and I'm still unsure about how you're even supposed to clean most things. I shrink laundry on a regular basis.

When I was younger I pictured women in their 30s as totally having it together, being professional adult women with mid-sized cars and PTA meetings and wearing those ankle-high cowboy boots with the long wool maxi-coats. Okay, the clothes might have been a style thing from back then but the rest of it?? I still shop at Forever 21. I don't have any kids, I still AM a kid!

Do you think I'll ever get it together and feel like a grown up? I don't know if I want to, but I feel kind of embarrassed that I don't.

14 Replies to I ain't Never Growing up

re: I ain't Never Growing up (karma: 3)
By Sumayah
On Wed Mar 27, 2013 08:07 PM
I feel you. I don't want to grow up either. I don't have a Peter Pan complex going on - I've gotten more mature and wiser, I'm definitely more responsible - but I refuse to become a normal 33 year old adult. I have wind-up dinosaurs on my desk, and a 3DS in my purse. I'm currently wearing pajamas and watching Despicable Me.

Growing older, sure. It happens. The important things like being responsible at my job and taking care of my house and car, yeah. I'll do it. But kill 6 hours playing on my Xbox 360? In a heartbeat. Sleep in til noon? You betcha. When given the chance I screw around as much as possible. I own a large plush Totoro and there's a Sailor Moon wallscroll hanging on my wall. But I do have it together enough that I can take care of the stuff I need to. I think there's this idea from the baby boomer generation, that to be an adult, you have to be boring. You work a 9-5 job or you're a housewife/househusband and I think our generation is rebelling against that dated stereotype and saying no. We were promised that when we were grown ups we could stay up all night or eat ice cream for breakfast so gosh darn it, I'm going to! Because the probalem is we were told that if we did everything just so we'd have fun when we grew up. Well, what with working and paying bills, there's little time to have that fun. If we weren't allowed to do it when we were little, to hell with the consequences, we're doing it now.

Or maybe that's just me...
re: I ain't Never Growing up
By Alassin_Sanemember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Thu Mar 28, 2013 12:29 PM
I'm 27, I work a full-time office job in a University, I'm working on my degree, plus I take care of my own home, finances, paperwork, DIY etc...but grown up? Hell no! :P

What was originally a spare bedroom in my house is now my 'nerd cave', which is full of computer stuff, video games, board games, plushies (including Sonic, Tails, and various Pokemon!), action figures and whatever else takes my fancy. I have remote controlled Daleks, Pokemon cards etc, all of which get played with on a regular basis. :) I also have an epic Xbox setup in my living room!

Being an adult does not necessarily equal 'boring'. Take care of the important stuff, like work, learn to deal with your paperwork, doctor stuff etc - but don't worry too much about the little things.

I'm not the kind of person who cleans just because you're supposed to do it however often. If things are dirty or whatever, I clean them. Bits of stuff on the floor, I vacuum. That works for me. My house is clean but I don't waste valuable gaming time doing extra housework because someone says I should. :)

And yes, I do sometimes stay up all night and eat ice cream for breakfast! I will sleep in late at the weekend and spend hours playing video games. I go to work and kick butt at my job, then spend my 'home time' doing what I want. :)

I will never be a 'proper' grown up, and I have no problem with that!
re: I ain't Never Growing up
By MarlaSingermember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu Mar 28, 2013 01:27 PM
It's funny, sometimes I look around and think that everyone else seems to know how to handle things better than me, but I don't think that's really true. They're just good at hiding it when they don't know what they're doing. We're all just muddling through life the best we can, and it's not necessarily a sign of immaturity if you get overwhelmed by things like filling out paperwork. Some of it just gets easier with practice, but if you don't have a lot of practice, it's not so easy, you know? Nothing wrong with that.

I have to admit that I have a tendency to want to be the perfect model citizen. I try to cook healthy meals every day, go above and beyond at work, keep my house clean and myself well groomed, spend my free time either improving myself or giving back to the community, etc, etc. But god, it just gets so tiring sometimes. You just have to let loose and have fun, and if the things you think are fun don't fit within the definitions of traditional "grown-up" activities, who cares?? Last weekend I totally broke out a My Little Pony coloring book and a 96-pack of crayons and went crazy. The last book I read was written for a target audience of 10-year-olds. And I have to admit, I wish I were the type of person who could let a few more things slide and be okay with it. But that's not me, and living my life is probably not for you. Neither of us is doing anything wrong. You just have to find your own version of success and then live it, you know?
re: I ain't Never Growing up
By imadanseurPremium member
On Thu Mar 28, 2013 06:36 PM
I think there has to be a mixture of both. I'd certainly like to have my finances more together, and my taxes much more organized and marvel at the people who are further ahead than me...and younger than me. Not having a retirement plan has started scare the living crap out of me recently, but my hubby and I are setting up IRAs next month to help alleviate some of that worry.

If you are interested in changing some things, you can do it. It is going to be uncomfortable and sometimes you won't like it, but I think it will make you feel better and feel more capable. Start with small things like going to bed 3 days a week at a reasonable hour. Maybe sit down and read about how to register to vote (that is actually pretty easy once you actually face doing it), or maybe just be diligent on reading the tags in your clothes each wash and see if you can not shrik/ruin something for a month. SMALL steps are the key. If you suddenly decide you are going to change all these things you won't make lasting lifestyle changes.

I'd rather nap all day long, watch Monsters Inc, and eat chocolate brownies with milk than do work for my job or eat my vegetables, but I also know that living that way day in and day out isn't good for me mentally. I am not proud of that feels good to get things done and accomplish things and then makes the goof off days guilt free.
re: I ain't Never Growing up
By Gioiamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Fri Mar 29, 2013 12:16 AM
You sound like an adult to me. I mean, isn't the coolest part of being an adult getting to do things like skip breakfast and eat bonbons all day in your pajamas if you want to? Then you pull it all together when it matters. Eventually when you don't have the money to replace a shirt you just shrunk you will figure out how to do your laundry. And when you find a job that you really want, you will hone your interview skills and figure out how to fill out all those nasty forms. That is what being an adult is, figuring things out when you get there.
re: I ain't Never Growing up (karma: 1)
By toroandbruinmember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Fri Mar 29, 2013 04:50 AM
Adults are just grown-up children. Why should you feel a sudden urge to conform to certain norms? As long as your lifestyle is working for you, why conform to some preconceived notion as to how it should be? You could eat cake for breakfast, vegetables for lunch and meat for dinner. But if you're starting to feel unhappy and unhealthy with your diet you do need to get a grip and add/subtract foods so that the necessary ones are worked in somehow. Who cares on what schedule.

As for voting, doing taxes, going to the doctor -- since you're here on the web at DDN I'll bet you have the ability to Google how to do tasks like this when you need to, or find someone to do them for you when possible. Taxes -- I assume you've found someone to do do them for you if you don't feel able to do them yourself. But if you've been failing to file income taxes, Yikes! You definitely need to get a grip and find a competent tax accountant to help you out of this mess. Going to the doctor -- you need to get a Pap smear every year. And maybe also a mammogram. That could save your life.

So, yes, there are certain things you need to take care of as an adult in order to survive but the way in which they are accomplished or the time schedule -- not important. If you're managing to get important stuff done it doesn't matter how.

It's when people have children that they tend to "codify" their routines. They want their children to develop good habits and the kids are too young yet to perform these activities in a "freeform" way of life. So meals are organized around healthy diets, teeth are brushed upon getting up and going to bed, allowances are given once a week, and so on.
re: I ain't Never Growing up
By Garnet_Juliet
On Tue Apr 02, 2013 05:10 PM
Start small, that's good advice. Look things up and seek out help. All good advice. In a way, I can acknowledge that maybe other people don't always have it as "together" as they appear.

Some of you sound like exactly what intimidates me. You're all saying how you take care of the important responsible things and you proudly, unabashedly have "kid" fun when you can afford it and when it doesn't hurt the rest of your perfectly balanced life.

I guess I feel isolated in the world by how confident people are, how boastful they are about their accomplishments in life.
re: I ain't Never Growing up
By tellaboy
On Sun Apr 07, 2013 10:13 PM
What is a Grown up any ways
re: I ain't Never Growing up (karma: 1)
By Elfiemember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Wed May 29, 2013 02:52 AM
I currently sleep with 11 plushies. (Yes, I'm a plushie slut. :P )
Toystore is my favorite place to go shopping. Current obsession is Monster High dolls and I slo love My Little Pony. My house is filled with toys. I'm still obsessed about princesses and faeries. I'm into Japanese Lolita Mori Girl and Ottome fashion, so in my free time I walk around dressed in princess dresses with lace and frills just generally into pink, girly oldfashionedly romantic. This is all just harmless eccentricity that brings joy into my life and I don't feel guilty for or intend to grow out of.

The thing I wish I could grow out of is my anxiety of calling on the phone to take care of official business. I just generally don't like phones too much. I've traveled several hours to take care of stuff in person I could have taken care of on the phone in few minutes. I also wish I could learn to be tidier and more organised and less of a scatter brain who looses stuff all the time. I'm afraid for a very good reason of burning down the house by leeving the stove or clothing iron or haircurler on. But no matter how much I try I'm still just a hopeless scatterbrain. (Maybe I have a mild ADD or something.)
re: I ain't Never Growing up
By tellaboy
On Wed Jul 24, 2013 09:43 AM
Who ever said we have 2 Grow up
re: I ain't Never Growing up
By PinUpGirlmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Wed Jul 24, 2013 10:08 AM
Getting older in inevitable. Growing up is optional.

My dad is 58 years old and you know what we did for his birthday this year? We went to a trampoline gym and played dodgeball with 10 year olds. And they LOVED it. If there's one thing I've learned from my dad, it's age is merely a marker of how long you've been on this earth. It doesn't dictate how you should behave. I fully intend on being the same way. I also still sleep wtih stuffed animals (and the boyfriend is totally okay with this).

I know I can pay my bills on time. I have a nice 401k growing. I show up to my job every day I'm able and do it to the best of my ability. Eventually I'll get married and maybe even have a few kids. Until then, I'm going to enjoy being a grown up. If I want to have a milkshake for dinner, I will. If I want to spend my money on cute shoes after all my other obligations have been met, I will. And if someone else doesn't like it, that's not my problem.
re: I ain't Never Growing up
By Chaconnemember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Wed Jul 24, 2013 01:20 PM
I tend to look at this from the other end of the telescope. I'm 71, retired from a successful career in government, financially quite well off. Happily married to a woman I have been with since high school. I really have very few friends who are my age peers. Most of my friends (classical musicians mostly) are younger than my two kids and many young enough to be my grandchildren. A few are DDNers, but mostly they are the young players in my symphonies, fellow violinists.

I don't go around like many of my age peers in summer wearing calf-high black socks and the last pair of black shoes I used to wear at work. Good Grief! Actually, given a certain amount of updating, I pretty much wear the same stuff I wore in college...jean shorts, athletic socks, running shoes, T-shirts and Polos. Obviously long Levis in winter.

I simply am not ready to play shuffleboard (I actually did play it though as a kid) and I'm not ready to sell my house so I can move into a retirement community.

Despite the age gap, I really get along well with my younger colleagues. I was very directly responsible for two of them marrying each other, and indirectly responsible for another two who seem headed that way. I try not to bring old attitudes to things I do.

re: I ain't Never Growing up
By Elfiemember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue Aug 13, 2013 06:37 PM
I've come to think of saying being "too old for something" as a sign of immaturity, unless one is talking about actual physical limitation that has come with age. Some people just seem to have a silly "adulthood complex", very much like the masculinity complex of overtly macho men. If you really have to try that hard to prove something that should be pretty obvious at first glance, yes maybe there might be something "wrong" with it.
re: I ain't Never Growing up
By shaz79
On Fri Aug 16, 2013 06:57 AM
lifes short enough just enjoy being you while you still can im sure theres loads of older men and woman out there who wished they could have held on to their youth...


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