Forum: Arts / Humor

Should I join Facebook?
By Dream_chaserPremium member
On Sat Jun 29, 2013 06:10 PM

A good laugh for people in the over 60 group !!!

When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I
ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music,
takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I
signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids,
their spouses, my 13 grand kids and 2 great grand kids could
communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle
something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of
everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I
am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in
my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get
lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I
keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red]
phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was
standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone
in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing
aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady
inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into
in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say,
"Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was
like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh
and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a
right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship...

When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of
the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone
as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the
cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I
still haven't figured out how I lose three phones all at once and have
to run around digging under chair cushions, checking bathrooms, and
the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up
every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could
settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?"
every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of
those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never
remember to take them with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or plastic?" I
just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their
turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I
tweet. I answered, No, but I do fart a lot."

3 Replies to Should I join Facebook?

re: Should I join Facebook? (karma: 2)
By schuhplattlerPremium member
On Mon Jul 08, 2013 09:49 PM
I certainly know what you mean. There will come a time when I won't be able to keep up with the gadgets, and were I not a techee, that day already would have arrived.

As it is, I did not get a cell phone until way late, and I made a ring tone of McGee's closet. Now I don't own a land line.

I tried Facebook but could not stand all the consequent interruptions and repeated changes of the rules.

A good trick is to write sci fi and include what should have been invented by now but hasn't.

We could save plenty of water by replacing the shower with a device that works like a carpet extractor - but then we would run into special problems, such as how to adapt the device to old, wrinkled skin, etc.

And why hasn't anyone invented demolition machinery that looks humanoid and responds to circuitry in a suit worn by the operator? And if anyone does invent such a machine, please don't ask the operator for directions while he is wearing that suit.

Then again, some of the new devices I have added to my bucket list. I never did a Karaoke until my voice was good for cooling soup. I doubt that I ever will use a motion capture suit to make an animation (God what those things cost!).

And once again, you are not old until you forget your nose and have to retrace your steps to find it.
re: Should I join Facebook?
By Dream_chaserPremium member
On Tue Jul 09, 2013 08:44 AM
LOL You are slightly crazy, and I love it!! Thanks for the laugh.
re: Should I join Facebook?
By schuhplattlerPremium member
On Wed Jul 17, 2013 05:55 AM
Actually a youngster could lose a nose too if that fancy little nail ever works loose.


Powered by XP Experience Server.
Copyright ©1999-2020 XP.COM, LLC. All Rights Reserved.