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Ranty rant rant ahead!
By chrispbinmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 2188, member since Sat May 06, 2006
On Mon Sep 30, 2013 04:35 AM

I know this is my problem, not his. I know I can choose how I feel about it. I know I'm being petty.

...BUT

In January I am going to Hawaii. I want to go to the States at some time or another and have had plans ranging from passport and visa arranged to very pie in the sky and vague. Hawaii in our school holidays is good me! I get to finally cross (part) of the USA off my list, and because I'm a mum and its the kids' holidays too, they're coming with me.

Today I found out my ex is going to Fiji with his new-ish partner. Fine, I don't have Fiji on my list. And I could do the whole "He never wanted to go somewhere like that with me," thing, but I won't, mainly because we were in very different circumstances then to those he and she are in now. But he's not taking his children. He didn't even think about taking them. His daughter in particular would love Fiji. And that same daughter thinks it's fine that her dad and her step mum are going without even considering taking the children.

When I called her on it, and said "But I'm taking you to Hawaii," she said, "But there are two of them. You wouldn't go on your own." We'll, actually, yes I would. I could quite happily go to the east coast of America on my own. And what's that got to do with it, anyway? They are a couple, so they can't take children? "Oh, her kids are grown up and J is going to Brazil, like, forever." So? HIS children aren't grown up, they're you!

So, yes, ranty rant pants well and truly on. And yes, as I said above, I know I can think of it how I like, but I'm cross on my kids behalf, and they aren't cross at all and can't see why I am, and so I'm cross about that, too!

3 Replies to Ranty rant rant ahead!

re: Ranty rant rant ahead!
By SiyoNqobamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 7113, member since Fri Aug 02, 2002
On Mon Sep 30, 2013 05:06 PM
As a child of divorced parents, with a step parent on either side, please stop trying to make your daughter feel badly about this if she doesn't. That's not fair.

As a mother, I can understand why you hurt on their behalf. But it is not fair to try and make them hurt about it.

To us? Vent away :) He should take his kids, and it's frustrating that he isn't. Sucks.
re: Ranty rant rant ahead!
By chrispbinmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 2188, member since Sat May 06, 2006
On Mon Sep 30, 2013 06:19 PM
Thanks!

And just for the record, I'm not trying to make A feel bad for herself, for me or for anyone else. She feels how she feels and that's all good!

All the cross-ness is happily inside me. I'm feeling less cross, now, as it happens, so that's all good, too!

But I may well come back with my big girl ranty pants on again. :)
re: Ranty rant rant ahead!
By kandykanePremium member Comments: 16415, member since Mon May 01, 2006
On Mon Sep 30, 2013 06:34 PM
I'd be a little put out, too. But you can't control him, you can only control you. Swallow the bitter pill and look forward to YOUR trip and make it the trip of a lifetime! I'd go to Hawaii every year if I could. Glad you are feeling less cross.

kk~

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