Forum: Adults / 20 Something

Long Distance Relationships?
By foreverlostmember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Thu Mar 27, 2014 04:30 PM

Has anyone ever been in a Long Distance Relationship?
Whether it was successful or unsuccessful, im just curious. It seems like I hear about them all the time, but don't actually know anyone who has been in one.

I am newly in one, and feel that it is going pretty well despite the 3,000 miles between us.

If you have been in one, I have a few questions:

1. How often did you actually see eachother?
2. How long were you long distance for?
3. Any tips/advice/warnings?

Thanks!

10 Replies to Long Distance Relationships?

re: Long Distance Relationships?
By majeremember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu Mar 27, 2014 06:53 PM
1.Once a month-ish. It depended.
2.Almost a year. We lived 2 hours apart.
3.I don't know. It didn't work out for me, distance was just one factor.
re: Long Distance Relationships?
By UnderwaterBubblemember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu Mar 27, 2014 09:37 PM
1. How often did you actually see each other? Every 4-6 weeks
2. How long were you long distance for? 2 years (the whole relationship). We were 8 hours by car apart.
3. Any tips/advice/warnings? I think as you get more into the relationship there needs to be an end date in sight to the long distance. Also important to schedule time that you're going to either call/skype/watch a movie together at your own locations etc and dedicate that time to that, with no distractions. I'm not really a verbal person, I'd much rather just cuddle on the couch than have a discussion most of the time, so sometimes we'd just ask random questions to keep the conversation going, not that it really mattered what we were saying, but just that we were dedicating our time to each other.
re: Long Distance Relationships?
By foreverlostmember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Mon Mar 31, 2014 04:32 PM
Thanks guys for your replies :)
re: Long Distance Relationships?
By ChristinePremium member
On Mon Mar 31, 2014 07:05 PM
My husband was on the road for many years. (15+) It wasn't exactly "long distance", as his life was still with us, and while he was away, he was just "at work", but the reality for us, and for many other families I've known who had similar situations, three weeks at a time is just about all any relationship can stand for a long time. There were times he was away for 6 months and we only saw each other once a month and it was just too long.

If you live in different cities and have different friends, communities, and day to day lives, if you don't reconnect physically... in the day to day ordinary way.... you can't help but grow apart. This may not be true for everyone, but it is my experience.

I hope things continue to go well for you.

Keep On Dancing*
re: Long Distance Relationships? (karma: 1)
By Chaconnemember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Mar 31, 2014 07:37 PM
Edited by Chaconne (182529) on 2014-03-31 19:38:56
It was at a distance twice before we were married, caused by our year's difference in age. We have been together since mid-high school.

First time was after high school...I was away at school at the main campus 120 miles away, she was at the extension center of the same university in our home town, where I went for my freshman year, mainly so I could still be around during her last year of high school. I would only get home for school vacations and she came down to see me twice with my parents.

We were on the same campus but in separate dorms, co-habitation was rare in that era, for the next three semesters, but saw each other daily.

The second (and last) time was when I had graduated and had started a job 1000 miles away and she still had a year to go in college. Actually the separation started a semester earlier as she was injured in a car accident at the start of the semester and had to drop out. She took a correspondence course and summer school to catch up. We were engaged by this time. Once she had healed she did come to the campus for a week to be with me. I left for my job immediately (two weeks) after graduation. I flew home for Christmas, and she flew out for Spring Break. That was it. We set our wedding date when I was home that Christmas. When she graduated, my present to her was a one-way airline ticket. We married four months after her graduation (that was when my lease for my bachelor pad was up.) It can be done.

Obviously it was successful, we have been married over 48 years. We were pretty strongly committed to each other even before the first separation.

Jon
re: Long Distance Relationships? (karma: 1)
By kandykanePremium member
On Mon Mar 31, 2014 08:33 PM
1. It varies. Six months was the longest due to his work schedule. More usually, about once every month or two, for one to three weeks at a time.
2. It's been over 20 years. We have deep bonds that keep us together. Kids and family, a house, etc.
3. Keep in daily touch via phone, email, text, Skype, etc. Make your visits special. Don't let $**t come between you. Remember what's important.

Good luck, kk~
re: Long Distance Relationships? (karma: 1)
By Live_on_Broadway
On Tue Apr 01, 2014 08:03 PM
Edited by Live_on_Broadway (42627) on 2014-04-01 20:07:28
Edited by Live_on_Broadway (42627) on 2014-04-01 20:09:31
In my experience, long distance relationships are more likely to work out if a.) there's an end-point, or b.) you're already serious about each other.

I've been in two long distance relationships. The first one didn't work out:

1. How often did you actually see each other?
About once every month or two. We lived 3 hours apart, but I didn't have a car, and our schedules prevented us from seeing each other a lot. I was in school at the time, and he was working 9-5.

2. How long were you long distance for?
We had only been dating a few months before doing long distance. It was a summer romance, but we didn't want to end it when I went back to school. (It should've.) We had no end point in mind, and we weren't really that serious, so we ended it by February.


The second one worked out. (I'm still in it.) :)

1. How often do you actually see each other?
My boyfriend and I are about 5-6 hours away by bus, train, or car. Luckily, our schedules are very flexible and allow us to see each other quite a bit. Some months, we spend more time together than apart, and other months I only get to see him for one or two weekends.

2. How long were you long distance for?
We've been doing long distance for over three years now (wow!), but we plan on moving in together this summer. We dated for two years before we became long distance.

3. Any tips/advice/warnings?
The unfortunate reality is that most long distance relationships don't work out. But you can make it work if you're committed, and you keep the lines of communication open. Communicate any way you have to: phone, text, email, Skype, snail mail, etc.. Even if you have nothing to say, or you're too tired to talk after a long day, find a special way to connect.
re: Long Distance Relationships?
By sugerplumfairy
On Fri Apr 11, 2014 04:38 PM
1. How often did you actually see each other?
about every 3-4 weeks we spend a weekend together. Then every ten weeks we will spend an extend amount of time together ranging from a week to a few months.
2. How long were you long distance for?
Had a summer fling, tried to keep it up when we went to college. that lasted about 2 weeks. Came home and got back together the following summer. The first three months of trying long distance was shaky, but after that it worked out quite well. I'd say its been successful for about 5 months.
3. Any tips/advice/warnings?
Don't do it unless you really like the person, otherwise its not worth it. There are really good things about long distance though, like having a lot of time to yourself and being able to be completely devoted to each other when you do get to see each other. Also make sure that communication styles match, just because you love each other doesn't mean you communicate the same way especially over txt, skype, phone. Some people liked to be called 25752 times a day and others are busy and don't like to.
re: Long Distance Relationships?
By Allymember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Sat Apr 12, 2014 08:13 PM
I currently live with my former long distance beau. We've been living together for what will be 2 years in August

1. How often did you actually see eachother?
We saw each other 3 times before I moved out to Idaho. We lived over 1,000 miles apart from each other.

2. How long were you long distance for?
We were long distance for almost a year before I moved. It was hard at times. Skype and Facetime are life savers.

3. Any tips/advice/warnings?
Tips: be honest with each other about what you want out of this relationship. Figure out what you're both willing to do to make it not long distance. Maintain communication.

Advice: It's hard, not gonna lie, but we just would do silly stuff. We read through Philosopher's Stone together on the phone before bed each night. We helped cheer each other on through texts. Cherish the time you do spend together and use it for important talks.

Warning: Don't be clingy, like any relationship, especially with timezone differences.
re: Long Distance Relationships?
By toroandbruinmember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Sun Apr 13, 2014 09:48 PM
My (now) husband is 1-1/2 years younger than me and was a year behind me in high school. (It would have been 2 years but he had skipped 2nd grade.) So I went to the U. of Miami where we lived and he, in my sophomore year, left for Georgia Tech. We decided to date other people at college for the 3 years we were apart, otherwise neither of us would have had any social life! But we got together at Thanksgiving, Christmas, Spring Break and over the summers. When I graduated I got a teaching job in Atlanta during his senior year and at that point we officially became engaged. It's not easy having a long-distance relationship but it can be done. Of course we both wrote letters all the time. Today with email and Skype it should be even more possible.

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