Homework HelpScholarship Essay
By Freckleful49 Comments: 18, member since Fri Dec 27, 2013
On Tue Apr 22, 2014 05:32 PM
Hi there! This year my studio is offering a scholarship for next years classes; the money would be a HUGE help to my family considering how both my sister and I are on the company team. This application for this scholarship requires a 500 word essay on what dance means to me.
I am in AP English III and love to write, but I have no idea who the audience is what he or she expects from the paper. This is the first paper I have written for anything like this, so as you might've guessed, I am stressing over it. I have written a ROUGH DRAFT of what I am leaning towards.
"Individuals who roamed this Earth thousands of years ago did not have paper or pencil to write down records; in fact, language did not exist. These humans made use of what they had: their bodies. Unfortunately, since dance does not leave behind any physical artifact there is no way to prove this accurate. According to Martha Graham, dance became “the hidden language of the soul”, and I have realized that dance is my own primitive form of connection.
At the age of three, I was a very shy, yet squirmy and wiggly child. My parents enrolled me in dance, and soon found my outlet. In my first class, we learned the term of tendu, to stretch. As I became older, I realized that I was not born to be a dancer; my body did not fold and bend like the other girls’ did. Stretching my legs was painful. Stretching my mind was even worse. Why couldn’t I be made for something that my heart desired? Then it hit me. I was not meant to perform or smile on stage. Dancing is much more than that to me, it is to create.
In another class, my instructor taught us another term; developpes, if completed correctly, are hard work. The moment my foot leaves the ground I have to think ‘turn out, straight supporting leg, pointed toes, shoulders back, chin lifted.’ However, it helped develop my leg strength similar to how dance assisted me develop my character. Dance has developed my understanding of multitasking between confidence and being humble to my peers along with developing integrity, responsibility, and self control. I care more about the mentality of dance rather than the physicality of it because my thoughts behind the movement reveal more about myself than anything else. Dance is much more than just movement, it is to explain.
Now that I am almost in my last year of high school, many people question why I never take a break and just relax. One of the most important and difficult lessons that I have obtained from dance is to be still. Listen to complete utter silence. Stillness sets up the atmosphere for the rest of the choreography and as a human, my natural instinct says go, go, go, but as a dancer my heart says slow, slow, slow. Ever since I have realized this, I have been able to enjoy life more than I could imagine. My memories are full of little amazing details instead of rushed blurry pictures. It seems that such a quiet thing can have the loudest impact. Dance is much more than just getting that medal, it is to whisper.
My language might still be hidden, but dance has underlined who I am and what my steps define. For I am not just another ballerina. I am an artifact, a creator, an explanation, a whisper. Dance for me, is a definition of myself."
I would really appreciate some feedback on the content- not grammar, diction, or syntax (I can fix those errors later.) Again, just on my ideas, not the technical aspect of it. Also, I wasn't exactly sure where to post this, so if it needs to be moved please do so!
Thank you so much!
1 Replies to Scholarship Essay
|re: Scholarship Essay|
By Theresa Comments: 34923, member since Wed May 22, 2002
On Sat May 10, 2014 09:48 PM
Hmm...just strictly from a "Does this wow me?" standpoint...not really, no. If I'm giving away a dance scholarship, I want to know about you in dance - how is getting to dance going to benefit you, how is dance going to help you go forward in life, that kind of thing. And even "dance is really hard for me, but I'm determined, and I work hard, and I feel like dance is teaching me a lot about the value of dedication and hard work", which you just real quickly touch on in the third paragraph (THIRD!) would be great.
Hope this isn't too late to be of any use...