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Weddings
Bride being upstaged? Were you worried?
By YumYumDoughnutPremium member Comments: 8688, member since Sat Jul 10, 2004
On Wed Jul 09, 2014 11:31 PM
Edited by YumYumDoughnut (99333) on 2014-07-09 23:37:42

Someone close to my age in my family is getting married soon, so there has been A LOT of wedding talk around me.

The talk of " upstaging" the bride was brought up, and I know the basic rule of not wearing a floor length white gown to a wedding. But the more I listened, the more I realized that the bride was worried about getting " upstaged" in other ways.

Dude, she is the one at the alter in a freaking white gown....everyone is going to go see her. I can't even imagine anyone being able to upstage that, even if they tried!!! People are going for the bride and groom, I doubt anyone is comparing other women to the bride. The couple is the main priority! When I go to weddings, I'm not even checking out the bridal party, all my attention is on the gorgeous bride!

So question, did you guys worry about a sexy guest upstaging you or being more beautiful than you? I have been googling this and reading articles about the fear of being upstaged, which seems to be a common concern.

I have heard of horror stories of people proposing at other weddings while wearing a white gown.....but that is just rude, and everyone will think that is super tacky.

10 Replies to Bride being upstaged? Were you worried?

re: Bride being upstaged? Were you worried?
By Kekoamember has saluted, click to view salute photos Comments: 8949, member since Sat Jul 19, 2003
On Wed Jul 09, 2014 11:56 PM
The more I learn about modern wedding culture, the more appealing an immediate-family-and-best-friends ceremony on a far-off beach sounds.

I understand not wanting guests to wear white or anything too revealing, but the internet has spawned a new generation of Bridezillas.
re: Bride being upstaged? Were you worried?
By Celebrianmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 7921, member since Thu Mar 31, 2005
On Thu Jul 10, 2014 11:07 AM
No, I did not worry about being upstaged on my wedding day. The thought never even entered my mind. Maybe I just didn't care? I wasn't having a wedding to be 'seen'. I was having it to get married and share my day with loved ones.

Other brides have different feelings and motivations maybe? I don't know. I can only live in my own head, haha!
re: Bride being upstaged? Were you worried?
By d4jmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 12490, member since Fri Aug 27, 2004
On Thu Jul 10, 2014 12:47 PM
Weddings have turned into performances. That show, Four Weddings, is a perfect example of how weddings are productions to be judged. This means the bride is the 'star' of her own show, so yeah any 'distraction' can be perceived as taking away from her. It's pretty ridiculous.
re: Bride being upstaged? Were you worried?
By slice Comments: 1247, member since Fri Oct 15, 2004
On Thu Jul 10, 2014 12:56 PM
The whole thing sounds silly and I think if bride-to-bes were in their right mind and had a chance to step out of all the wedding planning stress for a minute they would realize how silly that sounds. The only way I could see a bride being upstaged is if Beyonce suddenly made an appearance; and if that was going to happen, you'd probably know it ahead of time and Beyonce is classy enough not to purposely upstage someone on their wedding day so I'm sure she'd be dressed very tastefully.
re: Bride being upstaged? Were you worried?
By TheMidlakeMusemember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 11321, member since Sun Nov 23, 2003
On Fri Jul 11, 2014 06:33 AM
I actually went to a wedding once where a guest wore a floor-length white gown, which was more than a little off-putting, especially to guests who only knew the groom. And then there was the wedding I went to where I unknowingly wore a coral dress, and there was all this drama about the bride not asking me to be a bridesmaid, and she had picked coral bridesmaid dresses. I looked like a deranged bridesmaid wannabe, but that was a weird coincidence, not a deliberate act.

I think the concept of being "upstaged" is totally bizarre and if people are worried about others trying to one-up them on their wedding day, they either need to rearrange their priorities or not invite those people to the wedding.
re: Bride being upstaged? Were you worried?
By Louisemember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 17315, member since Thu Jun 06, 2002
On Fri Jul 11, 2014 06:57 AM
Just wear your hair in a low ponytail, don't wear any make-up, and wear a navy, knee-length, long sleeved cotton dress if you're that concerned.
re: Bride being upstaged? Were you worried?
By YumYumDoughnutPremium member Comments: 8688, member since Sat Jul 10, 2004
On Fri Jul 11, 2014 08:00 AM
Edited by YumYumDoughnut (99333) on 2014-07-11 08:03:22
Edited by YumYumDoughnut (99333) on 2014-07-11 08:04:39
Edited by YumYumDoughnut (99333) on 2014-07-11 09:05:43
I'm not worried about upstaging. I am wearing a navy blue and knee length dress...I would never wear white to a wedding. I always dress tasteful for weddings. I am getting my hair blown out all sexy though ;)

I just found it a bit bizare that "upstaging" as a concept was even brought up in general. It is a wedding, not a beauty pageant! So I googled around and it seems to be a more common then I thought.

People were talking about not wanting supermodel friends as bridemaids...so they won't look better than the bride.

This whole concept is a bit weird to me. Maybe my friends are all polite, and I haven't seen this happen much in real life. I do know someone who proposed at someone's wedding...but that's about it.


Is trying to upstage a common thing outside my circle of friends? I've never been to a wedding where a guest wore something flashy or took the attention off the couple?
( besides Dani's crazy white wearing ballroom guest). If the bride didn't want people wearing her coral...she should have told you her colors! I think you looked gorgeous!
re: Bride being upstaged? Were you worried?
By Theresamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 34891, member since Wed May 22, 2002
On Fri Jul 11, 2014 10:37 AM
Other than the people that I specified told what to wear, I couldn't even tell you what most people at my wedding were wearing that day. So no, I wasn't worried. And in truth, I didn't even get all that specific - our colors were watermelon and guava, so I told the moms to wear watermelon, dads wore guava, bridesmaids wore guava. I think my neice was the only one that I really specifically went "That. I want you to wear that."

I've been to a couple of weddings in the not so distant past, where I could see people involved having upstaging concerns. And in the cases of the people that I'm thinking of, it's not that they've got nothing better to do, it's just that Type-A personalities abounded in the inner circles, and when there's that much Type-A together in one group, you gotta find things to worry about, amirite?
re: Bride being upstaged? Were you worried?
By Moonlitefairy06member has saluted, click to view salute photos Comments: 7177, member since Fri Apr 16, 2004
On Fri Jul 11, 2014 10:56 AM
When I was in high school my cousin married a Greek Orthodox girl (they are the ones with the triplets I sometimes post about). Anyway. my mom was completely convinced that their wedding was going to be like the movie, My Big Fat Greek Wedding. She wanted me to wear my prom dress, which was floor length, kind of poofy, had a bunch of rhinestones etc. I wasn't so convinced that this is what people would be wearing so I told my mom we could bring the dress but I was wearing something else to the ceremony where I could see what other people were wearing. Good thing because no one was wearing prom style dresses, except the maid of honor whose dress was really similar to my prom dress lol! At the time my 17 year old self was mad that I wasn't asked to be a bridesmaid (I'm the only girl on my dad's side of the family) so it would have been even funnier had I a wore a dress like the maid of honor's, similar to Dani's story. That dress was actually a corally pink too.
re: Bride being upstaged? Were you worried?
By pokomember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 9026, member since Sun Oct 31, 2004
On Thu Jul 17, 2014 06:17 AM
I had people ask me what colour my bridesmaids were wearing, so they didn't accidently wear the same colour. That's about it.

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