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My best friend is getting married. Do I buy him a gift?
By Heartmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 15032, member since Thu Feb 14, 2002
On Sat Jan 03, 2015 07:32 AM

One of my best friends is getting married in March! (If you followed my diary way back when, he's the guy I would refer to as "the Reverend." He's also my ex, if that matters.) He's a cheapskate, so they're having a small ceremony with only close family invited. He came up to visit this weekend and I was talking with him about their wedding plans and everything. I asked if they had a registry yet, so I could buy a gift. He insisted that I shouldn't.

I feel pretty weird about that. He's one of my closest friends, and I don't mind not being invited to the ceremony or anything, but I feel like I should make some kind of gesture. I want to get him and his fiance a gift!

Would it be appropriate for me to buy him a gift anyway? From what I understand of wedding etiquette, it's pretty typical to give a gift if you're not attending the ceremony, or even if you're not invited. I don't think he's worried about what his fiance would think - when he visited, he stayed at my apartment and slept on the couch, and she knew about that and was fine with it. I don't know why he's insisting that I not buy a gift, but I don't want to cross any boundaries and make him uncomfortable.

So I figured I would ask here and see if there's some hidden etiquette I don't know about. Thoughts?

5 Replies to My best friend is getting married. Do I buy him a gift?

re: My best friend is getting married. Do I buy him a gift? (karma: 1)
By imadanseurPremium member Comments: 16604, member since Thu Dec 04, 2003
On Sat Jan 03, 2015 09:26 AM
I think if someone tells you that you shouldn't do something and is very clear about it, then you should respect the relationship and their wishes. It really doesn't matter that you want to, that you feel you should, that you think it would be a nice gesture. It isn't about you...its all about him and what he wants.

A nice card that wishes them well should suffice.
re: My best friend is getting married. Do I buy him a gift?
By majeremember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 5889, member since Sat Sep 29, 2007
On Sat Jan 03, 2015 11:11 AM
I was also going to say send a card.
re: My best friend is getting married. Do I buy him a gift?
By Heartmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 15032, member since Thu Feb 14, 2002
On Sat Jan 03, 2015 11:25 AM
Ohh that's a great idea. Why didn't I think of that?
re: My best friend is getting married. Do I buy him a gift? (karma: 1)
By hummingbird Comments: 10414, member since Mon Apr 18, 2005
On Sat Jan 03, 2015 12:11 PM
Why not donate to a charity for the gift, I did that when my mother in law remarried. I gave them a card with a note in it just saying that a donation to X charity had been made.
re: My best friend is getting married. Do I buy him a gift?
By LlamaLlamaDuckmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 7765, member since Sun Nov 21, 2004
On Sat Jan 03, 2015 05:40 PM
Or maybe write a poem or sometbjng?

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