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20 Something
Feeling bad about leaving a job?
By foreverlostmember has saluted, click to view salute photos Comments: 1917, member since Sun Feb 15, 2004
On Tue Feb 24, 2015 04:42 PM

I guess I could use some input or advice on my current situation. My boyfriend is amazing at listening, but I would love to hear some advice that isn't emotionally driven from seeing how stressed I am.

I've been with my current employer for 2 years. In the beginning I really enjoyed the atmosphere and her laid back style of dentistry. May 2014 our assistant quit and I began working as not only the office manager but also the assistant, and sometimes doing hygiene. This was great as I needed the money. Even though I was not getting paid more hourly, I was getting a full 40 hours instead of 32. This continued on through about the beginning on January. Though Ive always made ends meet, I have always felt underpaid as to what others with my experience make at other offices. My loyalty always took this over though.

She has always been really nice to me, even when she has treated other employees poorly or just plain mean (we've been through 8 assistants in a year..). In January she decided to hire another assistant for far less than what im making. This girl is very sweet and very helpful. Since then ive not only been stuck at the front desk, but she has cut my hours down to only 28 a week. She cut her hours down as well stating that she is "disabled" since she hurt her neck at the gym. She in the past month has been becoming very snotty with me. Examples:

-I gave her my payroll today in which one day I stayed 15 minutes later because I had some lab work to be done before the patient picked it up the next day, she brought up my time sheet and said she didn't understand why I had to stay so late when she left so early. I explained it to her and she stomped off telling me no overtime.

-My boyfriend (long distance) was in town for two weeks. During that two weeks I took two days off, one of which the office was closed anyways. The day he left she came up to me and stated, "Its good that he left so now you can focus on your work and not him." Which made me start to cry.

-She accused me of taking a bottle of wine. She said it was in her locked, private office and now it isn't there. I do not have a key to her office. I have never stolen in my life, nor would I do it for a 5.00 bottle of wine.

The list goes on, these are just those that stick out. I have been sending out resumes and have a second interview at an office tomorrow. I guess I feel bad because I am mid orthodontic treatment. Even though I fully plan on putting my credit card on auto pay and finishing my treatment should I leave, I guess I don't want her to feel like I used her for a discount on it. I would have never started treatment if I would have known.

Sorry if that's kind of long and rant-y. Im struggling with this as I used to love my job, even though I made about 3-7$ less an hour than I would at any other office. The environment made it worth it. I guess I miss feeling that connection and am confused.

8 Replies to Feeling bad about leaving a job?

re: Feeling bad about leaving a job?
By AlwaysOnStagePremium member Comments: 7417, member since Sun Apr 18, 2004
On Tue Feb 24, 2015 05:54 PM
I just left a job recently...I understand the turmoil of approaching this decision, especially if you haven't left jobs before. From the other side, I am telling you it's worth it. If you're spending this kind of time thinking about it, it's the right decision.

You said it yourself, the environment WAS worth it...but it's not worth it any more. The longer you stay the more anxiety and stress it will create.
re: Feeling bad about leaving a job?
By dancin_til_death Comments: 4381, member since Sat May 08, 2004
On Wed Feb 25, 2015 05:38 AM
Edited by dancin_til_death (92905) on 2015-02-25 05:41:12
Have you asked for a payrise/more hours directly? If you haven't then its worth a shot.

Keep applying to other places and quit when you have another offer.

This, by the way, is why women get paid less on a whole. They don't deserve the correct amount of money for what they are worth and get torn up in feelings of "loyalty". If you aren't getting paid what you are worth then a job needs to provide opportunities for growth, happiness or something! You're currently not getting anything. Get out when you can.

Re: boyfriend comment, that's super weird. I don't think its worth crying about though. Says more about your employer then it does you.
re: Feeling bad about leaving a job?
By foreverlostmember has saluted, click to view salute photos Comments: 1917, member since Sun Feb 15, 2004
On Thu Feb 26, 2015 12:34 PM
Thanks for your input guys.

I have asked for a raise and more hours and was told no because, "she cannot afford it." Even though she just bought a new BMW. But none of my business on what she chooses to spend her money on I guess.

I do know that I am worth more, and the job search has commenced. I have a working interview at another office next week.

Dancin- I usually have pretty thick skin and don't let things get to me. She just chose to say this on the day he left. I was supposed to have the day off because I had to take him to the airport at 4am, but then she changed her mind at the last minute so I went to work emotional that he was gone and on three hours of sleep. I felt picked on because she knew what was going on and actively decided to make a comment to me.
re: Feeling bad about leaving a job?
By imadanseurPremium member Comments: 16604, member since Thu Dec 04, 2003
On Fri Feb 27, 2015 04:32 PM
Been in a lot of jobs happy, unhappy, quit, have been fired etc. As soon as a job starts feeling miserable and the way they are running things is out of alignment with your integrity it is time to go. It's nice that you are feeling guilty, but the #1 rule is take care of you. She is looking out for herself, and she'll figure out how to replace you. Life goes on, and hopefully you'll be in a better place.
re: Feeling bad about leaving a job?
By SarahdncrPremium member Comments: 634, member since Wed Jul 29, 2009
On Sat Feb 28, 2015 11:53 AM
A couple of quick thoughts here for you:

- It's time to quit this job. Obviously the work environment you are working under has changed and not to your benefit

- Your situation is very problematic, but typical for workers who work for small hands on owner-led business or family owned business's. They treat you like family as long as they want things out of you or get you to help them over rough patches in the business, but they do not want to know your name when you want more hours, a raise, have a problem, want time off, etc.

- In reading through what you have described, sounds like the practice owner is trying to squeeze every penny (or shilling) out of the practice for herself. When she accused you of stealing the wine bottle, I would have quit right then on the spot. Obviously she is now trying to make your work life unbearable so you quit and she can then hire a replacement for you at a much cheaper hourly rate.

- So, you may want to turn the tables on her, as turn-about is only fair play, and since she pulled that wine bottle stealing accusation, this lady deserves it.

Blow her into your local workforce commission about her creating a hostile work environment (the wine bottle incident for stater's). Then next I would blow her into the healthcare regulating body (NHS for you I think), as she had you practicing dental hygiene activities on patients for which you are not probably properly trained, credentialed or licensed to perform. That is a big No-No in the healthcare biz, and is a serious risk to patient safety.

If the owner then tries to fire you for blowing her into the authorities, then go after her again for whistle - blower retaliation. Soon enough you will be owning her new BMW instead of her.

Time to leave this lady.
re: Feeling bad about leaving a job? (karma: 1)
By foreverlostmember has saluted, click to view salute photos Comments: 1917, member since Sun Feb 15, 2004
On Thu Mar 05, 2015 03:18 PM
I wanted to take a moment to update and thank everyone for their advice.

Today I was offered an Office Manager position close to home with a substantial pay and benefit increase. I will be giving my two weeks notice to my current doctor on Monday.

Heres to new beginnings!
re: Feeling bad about leaving a job?
By imadanseurPremium member Comments: 16604, member since Thu Dec 04, 2003
On Sat Mar 07, 2015 09:57 AM
well that is awesome news! hope your new job is more fulfilling and your current boss doesn't make the next 2 weeks pure hell.
re: Feeling bad about leaving a job?
By dancin_til_death Comments: 4381, member since Sat May 08, 2004
On Sun Mar 08, 2015 12:39 AM
That's fantastic to hear! Great to hear your success.

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