Forum: Adults / Work/Employment

Work/Employment
I'm ruining my own job search
By saaammiemember has saluted, click to view salute photos Comments: 440, member since Thu Apr 01, 2010
On Wed Feb 25, 2015 10:43 AM
Edited by saaammie (221634) on 2015-02-25 11:15:45

You people are so clever, maybe you can give me some advice.

I'm graduating in June with a master's degree in business from a very good school in Sweden. That is, I'm super qualified for most business jobs, especially if I stay here.

I've been looking at various trainee programs or consulting firms, broad things because I'm not really sure what I want to do...

I'm not sure if how it is in other countries, but many big firms here finish their recruiting very early (a lot of people in my graduating class already have jobs where they'll start in August or September.)
I've known this since I started my university, basically.

I've also had an idea (at least) of firms to apply to.

Only... I haven't.
Or I've sent in lackluster application just before the deadline.
Or not utilized a contact that could've helped me to an interview.

It's so serious that I've actually brought it up with my therapist. and we've come to the conclusion that it's probably due to a couple of reasons.
1) Simple fear of the future
2) I got burnt out and had to take a sick leave during the first year of college. I guess I'm just worried I "won't be able to handle" a job.

3) (and this is the main reason, i think.) I HATE the whole evaluation thing. I hate that I will get rejected (in a lot of cases) and that it will make me feel left out and stupid and just bad. So if I don't apply or submit a bad application, they're not actually rejecting me at my best, meaning I don't have to feel so bad about it.

I KNOW it doesn't make sense, especially not from a practical perspective, but I really think that's how my subconscious is thinking.


The easy thing is just to say: "get over it, just do it" but believe me I have. And for me, there's a slippery slope of saying to myself "yes, this is actually my own doing and my own fault, I need to take more responsibility" and becoming caught up in some circle of guilt and self-recrimination. If I'm TOO hard on myself and what a failure I am for not DOING more, I'm not more productive either because I'm too caught up in the self-pity/i hate myself-loop.

I'm so so scared that I won't get a job, which makes me passive which in turn makes me more scared.... Horrible.

So I guess what I'm looking for is either if anyone else has been in the same situation or just.. practical advice for how to tackle job seeking?

2 Replies to I'm ruining my own job search

re: I'm ruining my own job search
By schuhplattlerPremium member Comments: 3037, member since Sat Dec 23, 2006
On Wed Feb 25, 2015 02:25 PM
1. Do your homework on wherever you apply. Find out in detail what that company needs, and gear both your application and your interview to just that.

2. Always write to a person, never a job title. There are clever ways to find out the names of employment personnel (from employees, school job counselors, or receptionists).

And when I could not find this data, I began my letter, "Dear Mr. Daskalogrigorakis:
(sorry, I have been advised to write to a name, not a job title, and I could not discover your name)"

This worked for me. Your letter will be remembered!

The very day after an interview, thank the interviewer - by direct telephone unless you know that the interviewer is inundated with calls, in which case you use e-mail.
re: I'm ruining my own job search
By Moonlitefairy06member has saluted, click to view salute photos Comments: 7177, member since Fri Apr 16, 2004
On Wed Feb 25, 2015 03:44 PM
I know exactly how you feel. Because my job is a contracting position my company is currently in the re-bid process. Some people have already left and gotten new jobs rather than taking the chance of staying with our company and they lose or applying with whatever company might win the rebid later. I was unemployed for a year. I went to 35 interviews before I got this job, which I have been at for eleven months. While I've always considered this a transition job to get me back into the workforce, and not a career, I've realized I'm really not ready to put myself out there. The rejection hit me a lot harder than I thought it did. But at the same time I know I'm taking a huge gamble and need to start applying in the event my company's contract is not renewed. I can't be unemployed long term again, I'm just starting to rebuild my savings. But my God I can't stand the thought of interviewing again. Not really helpful, but just thought I'd let you know that I truly feel for you, it's a tough position to be in.

ReplySendWatch