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Irish - MAIDs
If you have several children...
By paravel Comments: 8, member since Sat Apr 05, 2014
On Tue May 19, 2015 03:07 PM

My oldest child has fallen in love with ID, she is progressing quickly and would spend all day at the studio if possible.

I have several younger children, and am trying to figure out how to balance oldest's schedule and still meet their needs. If you have multiple children, do they all dance? If you have one who dances and others who don't, do the others have activities that require an equal time commitment? If not do you feel like they are getting the short end of the stick?

3 Replies to If you have several children...

re: If you have several children...
By Omuddy1 Comments: 6, member since Sat Jul 12, 2014
On Tue May 19, 2015 06:47 PM
For us, it is DD2 who is into ID. DD1 was almost constantly throwing it my face about how much we spend time-wise and money-wise on DD2. One day I sat her down and spoke to her about how she would dislike it if I constantly compared her to her sister and that it was unreasonable for her to see it as OK to use comparisons when it suited her argument. She "got" that and has piped down on that angle.

I think what bugs DD1 the most is that she has the perception that I spend more time on DD2's hobby in comparison with hers. I do need to make an effort to be more "present" at DD2's activities and it is easy to let life's busy-ness get in the way of that. A day at a feis is a big chunk of time and I don't have the opportunity to spend time in that way with DD1's activities. I can stay and watch DD1 training and she really likes that, but I often get busy and just drop and run. I think I need to be more mindful about this.
re: If you have several children...
By kss Comments: 31, member since Tue Dec 30, 2014
On Tue May 19, 2015 07:05 PM
My second child is the one who fell in love with ID. It was no problem when she was little and just did the rec ID at our local studio, but once she started up with a ID school and began flying up the levels, I knew we were in huge trouble. When she qualified for prelims, I sat her down and spelled out what a huge commitment this would be for her (no problem, she loves it so much) and for me (more of a problem, as I want to support her, but am so not qualified to be a dance mom) and for our family (she has three sibs who are or I'm sure will be when the are old enough equally committed to their activities of choice) and for our budget (big problem, I can't believe how expensive ID is). She was willing to sacrifice other interests and expenses to continue ID and that helped us decide to let her continue. Despite that, the balance of time and budget is going to be in her favor while she does ID, but at least we evened the scales a bit. She has two brothers who have no interest in ID and a younger sister who will definitely be steered toward non-ID activities - "Look, sweety, in all the other dance styles you get to move your arms. Isn't that so much better???" :)

For us, we will have to constantly re-evaluate what works in our schedule and budget. While I hope we can continue to fund her ID aspirations, I figure it won't be the end of the world if we can't at some point. That's life, right? And if she wants it really badly, as a young adult she can figure out how to get back into it on her own time and budget.
re: If you have several children...
By paravel Comments: 8, member since Sat Apr 05, 2014
On Sat May 23, 2015 09:11 AM
Thank you for the replies!

I guess we will see how things play out, but I will try to remain mindful of giving each child opportunities and letting them know I support them individually.

In some ways it would be easier if they all went for ID (my youngers have taken beginning classes) but then I worry about them comparing themselves to each other.

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