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Ask a Parent
I want to quit dance
By Chono Comments: 1, member since Thu Nov 19, 2015
On Thu Nov 19, 2015 09:30 PM

Hi, I'm a middle school aged ballet dancer. I've posted this here because I want advice from parents of dancers.

I've danced for around 9 years and I love it. The thrill of working your body to the maximum is amazing. However, in the past 3 years all the people my age have left the studio I go to. I'm the youngest dancer in my class by far, and I get tons of hate from the older girls. They constantly imply that I'm to fat for ballet, that I'm not talented and only in the higher level ballet class because of my feet, and that I'm stupid. Some even say it right to my face.

I just want out from dance. Going to that environment for 3+ hours everyday is mentally exhausting. I come home and when everyone else in my family falls asleep, I cry. My studio is rarely small, and I feel like to leave is to betray the artistic director there. Also, my parents have put so much money into dance.
How do I tell my parents that I don't want to to do ballet anymore?

2 Replies to I want to quit dance

re: I want to quit dance
By Moonlitefairy06member has saluted, click to view salute photos Comments: 7177, member since Fri Apr 16, 2004
On Thu Nov 19, 2015 09:54 PM
I'm not a parent. I'll be clear on that from the start, the mods might delete this.

But I will say is, from reading your post, I don't think you want to quit dancing. You just don't want to be in that environment anymore. Is the Artistic Director aware this is going on? If not maybe it's time your parents talk to her. Girls at your age and high school age can be really mean. I had that problem in school. Usually when girls are making fun of you for something it's because they are insecure about it themselves. They think they are fat and have bad feet so instead they say you are fat and make your feet seem not so special so they can feel better. Your artistic director should talk to all of you as a group about working as a team and supporting each other and not bringing each other down. If your artistic director isn't willing to do anything, I hope you don't stop dancing because of this. I stopped gymnastics when my gym closed. I tried two other places but really didn't give the new gyms a chance and I regret it a lot, 15 years later. I felt about gymnastics the way you do about dance. But I get it. When the environment is no longer fun and fulfilling, the activity no longer is either. I hope you can get to an environment where dance is fun and fulfilling again whether it's at your studio or somewhere else. Don't let the mean girls take dance away from you if you still love to dance.
re: I want to quit dance
By LoriCook Comments: 1762, member since Mon Aug 17, 2009
On Sat Nov 21, 2015 11:54 PM
Have you talked to your parents about what's going on? As a mother I don't want to push my kid into doing things he hates but in your case it is the situation, not the activity you are hating, I would talk to my kid's studio and try to fix the issues. You should not quit dancing if the situation can be changed. Are private lessons a possibility?

If the studio is not able to get those girls to stop being nasty can you go where your friends are? If you are staying out of loyalty, but it isn't working for you, don't be afraid to leave and find somewhere that will work better. Yes, we get attached to our teachers and studio but they are not family, they are being paid for a service. You will have many people come and go throughout your life. If the studio is not able to provide a supportive environment, your parents are not getting their money's worth. They are certainly not paying for you to be bullied. You and your parents should do what is right for you, not what is right for the studio.