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What to do with this new guy?
By dancing__girl Comments: 14, member since Tue Oct 11, 2016
On Tue Oct 11, 2016 07:18 AM
Edited by dancing__girl (277861) on 2016-10-11 07:21:53
Edited by dancing__girl (277861) on 2016-10-11 07:32:28

Hi, recently a new guy joined the dance school. I and some fellows found his behavior disturbing. For example, he is often late, by about 20-30 minutes, to join the class. When he arrived, he walked in with large bags from brand stores. Then, he demanded the teacher to stop what she was doing and taught him all the steps, which we learned when he was not there, again. During the class, he also interrupted the class constantly and demanded the teacher to show him the steps in details as if he were in 1-1 private lesson. He does not change his cloths. He just wears street cloths often with leather shoes. One time, when he arrived 30 minutes late, he went to the front and took off his shirt to cool off. We all saw his naked body. Then, he put on his cloth and joined us. He also likes to walk in and out of the room whenever he likes. Even there are lots of space in the room, he likes to dance near the teacher. As those spaces have been taken by people who have arrived much earlier and on time, he danced "very close" to us to the point that our personal space was invaded. When the teacher went to her computer to do something about the music, he showed off by doing the split or making some strange moves probably trying to impress the girls. One time the teacher and her team were practicing. While we were waiting outside the room for the class to start, he just entered the room and tried to follow what the teacher was doing. He also made a mess in the toilet. Even there is a large garbage bin, he threw toilet papers on the floor. The dance studio is a drop in studio. As he has money (probably bought the all-you-can-dance package), he goes there probably everyday whenever he likes.

I noticed that one girl just moved away to the opposite direction when this guy arrived. When I talked to another student about "this guy", she immediately knew whom I was talking about. She also mentioned that he is aggressive to her when she was dancing at the front.

What can we do with this guy? He is a spoiled undergraduate student from a rich family in the far east. He has no manner, no respect to people. I don't think the studio or the teacher cares as long as he pays.

12 Replies to What to do with this new guy?

re: What to do with this new guy?
By rosalinde Comments: 1973, member since Fri Jun 19, 2009
On Tue Oct 11, 2016 07:46 AM
First of all --- ewwwww ...
This guy is a problem of epic proportions and he sounds like he will ruin the studio, if only because other dancers will end up preferring to quit rather than be in the same room with him.

You say you don't THINK the teacher or owner cares - could you (or someone else) find out what they do think? Especially the teacher as he seems obnoxious even to the teacher. But if he's that protected, you'll need as much evidence as you can.

And as far as him getting naked, well, that is just very clearly crossing all lines. The fact that he does not wear dance clothes is just a dresscode problem, but he cannot be allowed to strip (even if it's not all the way, if it makes people uncomfortable it's unacceptable).

I think you need to band together. Find out if others feel the same (after all, if it's only you, the problem becomes less easy to fix for you), and if so, action needs to be taken before he ruins everything. It's a terrible job because hardly anybody likes to stir up trouble with others, but when it comes to hurting feelings, his are not the ones to mind.

Good luck!
re: What to do with this new guy?
By dancing__girl Comments: 14, member since Tue Oct 11, 2016
On Tue Oct 11, 2016 08:35 AM
Thanks. There are several teachers. I think he goes to the same school as one of them. Even that teacher seemed to be annoyed by his constant interruptions. Last night we had another teacher who is from the management . She smiled a lot so might be she is OK with him.

As far as I know, two dancers left the studio. Not sure if this guy is the reason. Personally I cannot focus being in the same room with this guy.
re: What to do with this new guy?
By Theresamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 34891, member since Wed May 22, 2002
On Tue Oct 11, 2016 05:55 PM
Last night we had another teacher who is from the management . She smiled a lot so might be she is OK with him.


Aah, you assume a lot. What was she supposed to be doing, recoiling in horror while yelling about what a disgusting monster he is? Of course not, that's crazy. So she smiles, hoping maybe he'll calm down, and realize he doesn't have to be super hyper alpha male about it.

Speak up.
re: What to do with this new guy?
By dancing__girl Comments: 14, member since Tue Oct 11, 2016
On Tue Oct 11, 2016 07:19 PM
Let's me check if more people are distracted by this guy.

Even he was very close to the teachers and they showed him the steps again and again, he couldn't do the simplest moves. He also showed everybody that he looked tired and behaved like a tardy. Being able to do the split is not impressive. Not sure why he came. Perhaps trying to meet girls?

How not to get distracted by him? Whenever he comes, I lose focus and can't follow the teacher.
re: What to do with this new guy?
By dancing__girl Comments: 14, member since Tue Oct 11, 2016
On Tue Oct 11, 2016 07:29 PM
Let's me check if more people are distracted by this guy.

Even he was very close to the teachers and they showed him the steps again and again, he couldn't do the simplest moves. He also showed everybody that he looked tired and behaved like a tardy. Being able to do the split is not impressive. Not sure why he came. Perhaps trying to meet girls?

How not to get distracted by him? Whenever he comes, I lose focus and can't follow the teacher.
re: What to do with this new guy?
By Sumayah Comments: 6876, member since Wed Nov 12, 2008
On Tue Oct 11, 2016 08:36 PM
Since he's regularly tardy, before class, walk up to your instructor:

Miss [Teacher], I am having difficulty with [boy] in the class. While I try to stay focused and on task, his arriving late is extremely distracting to me. I appreciate that you take time to explain in detail the steps, and I try to listen to the corrections and apply them, I feel like I lose part of my class time since you have already explained the steps to us earlier in the lesson, prior to him showing up. I am upset by his cavalier attitude towards our lessons, and I don't know what to do. At this point I don't even want to show up for class because I never know if halfway through he will just show up. I respect this art form enough to dress out appropriately, with the correct shoes and I arrive on time so I get all I can. But right now, I'm not even sure Inwant to continue if [boy] is going to show such disrespect to you and our class.

She may seemingly blow you off. If she does, don't feel like you haven't been heard. Teachers have to walk a precarious line and you can't bash a student to another student. She might say she'll look into it or she'll speak with him and then seemingly do nothing. A lot of the time, teachers don't have that authority and have to go through the proper channels. If the issue isn't resolved in a couple weeks, bring it up again. If it's not resolved in some way after that then it might be time to find a new studio.
re: What to do with this new guy?
By dancing__girl Comments: 14, member since Tue Oct 11, 2016
On Wed Oct 12, 2016 01:14 PM
Thanks for the suggestion. He likes to move like a zoombie. Seeing him reminds me of The Walking Dead.
re: What to do with this new guy?
By dancing__girl Comments: 14, member since Tue Oct 11, 2016
On Sat Oct 15, 2016 07:18 AM
I did not have a chance to talk to the teacher alone but this is what happened yesterday:

That guy came in late again. He was dancing at the front left where there were lots of space. I was in the 2nd row in the middle. He interrupted the class often. Whenever he did that, he walked next to the teacher and demanded the teacher to show him the steps slowly and repeatedly while the rest of the dancers were waiting. I saw some unhappy faces but nobody complained. After the first interruption, he moved right next to me to force me out. I told him not to get too close (about 10cm apart) to me as I could bump into him accidentally. He backed off a bit. Later, he invaded my personal space again repeatedly in an attempt to take over my space. In the past, I observed that a girl moved to the opposite direction when he arrived. Another girl also told me that he did the same thing to her as well. As he constantly interrupted the class and danced at the front middle (with his zombie like moves very different from the rest of us), I don't think he is very popular.
re: What to do with this new guy?
By dancing__girl Comments: 14, member since Tue Oct 11, 2016
On Fri Oct 21, 2016 04:03 PM
Edited by dancing__girl (277861) on 2016-10-21 16:12:50
I talked with some classmates. They all do not like the behavior of that boy. Since he did not come to class for a week, we thought everything would return to normal.

Yesterday, he showed up in class. Again late. Again he made some strange moves. Within a few minutes, the rest of us just moved to either side of the studio even both sides were crowded and left that guy alone occupying the entire center of the room. We did not plan that. I guess nobody wants to be dancing near that boy. It is also difficult to dance behind him because he made big movements different from the teachers'. His movements interfered with my learning.

The teacher wondered what happened and asked us to move closer to the center.
I hope the teacher got the message.
re: What to do with this new guy?
By Theresamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 34891, member since Wed May 22, 2002
On Fri Oct 21, 2016 07:59 PM
If she asks you to move closer to him again, stand your ground. You're a paying customer, you have every right he's entitled himself to.
re: What to do with this new guy?
By dancing__girl Comments: 14, member since Tue Oct 11, 2016
On Sun Oct 23, 2016 10:02 AM
Thanks. She asked the entire class to move closer to the center as it was only occupied by that guy. The rest of us moved to either sides. I guess other dancers also did not want to be near him. In the past, a girl complained about him to me that when she was shooting a video of herself dancing at the end of the class, this guy moved in between the camera and her. As a result, she got a video of him dancing instead.
re: What to do with this new guy?
By dancing__girl Comments: 14, member since Tue Oct 11, 2016
On Mon Oct 31, 2016 10:56 PM
I heard from a few dancers that they do not like to be in the same class with that guy. One of them actually has been harassed by him. We have no idea why he came here. He just seemed to want some attentions and annoy everybody. Whenever he arrived, he made strange noise and moved like he was very tired. He also entered and left the class multiple times.

I asked the studio if there is a policy that people cannot join the class if they are late by a certain amount of time. They said no. They just said that it is "their lost". Somebody briefly mentioned about the behavior of this guy to the receptionists. One receptionist just said that they did not know and thanked her for the information. Another did not want to get involved.

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