Oh Sweetie.... this person is not "best friend" material. She may be the best you have a the moment but she is not a keeper.

If I try to look at her behavior in the most forgiving, compassionate, understanding way I can muster the most I can do is say, I suspect she is extremely immature, insecure, insincere, and manipulative to say nothing of disloyal and untrustworthy.

If I were on the receiving end of any of this behavior, as you are, I would judge her to be mean spirited, back stabbing, twisted, dishonest, and evil.

That may seem harsh... I'm sure there was a good reason you were close once upon a time, but it is NEVER ok to launch a social climb on the back of a genuine friend. Is she so lacking in desirable traits herself and so desperate for shallow popularity that it was necessary to sharpen her teeth on your confidences rather than sharpen her own wit, good nature, friendliness, sense of humor, or accomplishments, to use as tools to wiggle her way into a seat at the cool kids table?

A day may come when this person grows up enough to be ashamed of her immature behavior. I remember betraying the confidence of a girl who had been a good neighborhood friend when I thought it would make me seem cooler with the popular kids.... I was 13 years old and I am still ashamed of the pain I caused her simply because I was so star struck with the future cheerleaders of America I acted impulsively and unkindly. In the case of this girl though, it is not an isolated incident. Her "go to" seems to be a recurring behavior. I suspect your friend's betrayal has more to do with her own neediness than anything you did, do, or deserve. I wish I had been a better person at the time. I wish your friend was a better person now.

Sadly, humans are a flawed lot. I don't expect you to forgive or trust your friend, especially since at this point it is likely she will not be capable of growing up fast enough to resist hurting you again. However, I do hope that you are able to not take her bad behavior to heart and think less of yourself in any way. Your own insight into the behavior and your ability to note unacceptable behavior on her part rather than turn it back on yourself shows remarkable maturity and indicates great skill at managing your own tendency to depression. CELEBRATE YOU!

For now, I would just cool things a bit with her. I wouldn't let her manipulate you into escalating the riff and I would be cautious of her trying to pull your boyfriend into her dramatic action. I would simply say, "She has been really mean to me and I'd rather not talk about it. I prefer to think about happy things, not her." And then DO JUST THAT. Fill your days, thoughts, plans, and dreams, with things that make you feel good about yourself, your future, and how you are spending your time. People who behave like these gossipy kids rarely stay focused on others for very long. They are too self absorbed and uncaring to think about much more than themselves. If you don't respond to their hatefulness, you will quickly drop off their radar.

I am truly sorry you have had this experience. I promise you, life will get better. I don't know a single well adjusted adult who remembers this part of their life fondly. The up side? The lessons you glean from this will make you a much wiser person in the years to come.

Hugs...xoxo

Keep On Dancing*