Forum: Advice / Secrets PG-13

Any chance of recovering from bursting into tears in front of your new boss? I'm mortified.
By Anonymousmember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Sat Feb 23, 2019 10:51 PM

I'll try to keep it short but it probably wont be. So thanks to everyone who reads.

Back story:
I got a management internship with my dream company, but not in the line of business I have any interest in or passion for. So I accepted the position and have made of the best of it.

I was an intern from Jan. 2018 - Jan. 5, 2019.

Initially I was supposed to start a new job with the same company on Jan. 15, 2019. I was so happy because I was FINALLY going to get a vacation and be able to go home to see my family, boyfriend (we've been long distance for a year), go to my allergist (no medical insurance as an intern meant I couldn't get what I needed in the new state I was living in and I have been SUFFERING horribly from allergies) as well as officially moving the rest of my things from my home state to the new state I am going to officially be settling in. It is approx. a 39 hour drive.

Well that did not happen. Instead a better job, a promotion, was also open (same line of business I interned in) and I was advised not to leave as the position would be offered to someone else if I was.

So I stayed. Got the position and started right away with no vacation on break.

As an intern I did not have any benefits. No vacation or sick time, no medical, nothing. I am exhausted. But I didn't feel comfortable saying anything because I had just started this new job and didn't have anything other than my 4 floating holidays. I didn't want to look bad taking time off right away.

So I have been at the new job for a month, and while there is a large learning curve, I thought it was going ok.

I get called into a meeting with my director today and basically get a laundry list of things I'm doing wrong and all the issues etc. Fine, I'll correct things and I'm glad it was brought to my attention.

But what finally did me in, is that I found out that the other 2 managers in my area, my partners, have been twisting my interactions with them/what I have have been saying, and reporting back to our boss making me look HORRIBLE.

example: I was looking at the leadership workshops/seminars/conferences offered by our company and mentioned to one of my partners that my friends who work in corporate get to go to them on work time because it is considered professional development, and even though they are salaried, like us, they are not front line and as such are not "essential to the operation". While we are salaried front line so we can only go if it is our day off. I said "oh ya know, the grass is always greener, but I've wondered about going into corporate."

She took this back to our boss saying that I was looking at other lines of business so that I could partake in these classes and now my boss is concerned that I am not committed.

This is not the line of business I want to be in long term, but I also don't want to be fired.

and there were other conversations she brought up that had, like, key words or topics, that I remember discussing with the other two managers, but they were twisted to paint me in a bad light.

I mentioned wanting to go back to school EVENTUALLY. When discussing the tuition reimbursement our company offers I mentioned that when I am settled into the job I would like to look into getting my masters, but that I wouldn't even start looking into the process for 9-10 months. Yet somehow this turned into me actively looking for positions that would give me more time for school (absolutely stupid because one of the only perks of our line of business is we are the ONLY department with set schedules).

These are only two examples but there were so many more.

We have a 90 day probationary period, so I have been really cautious and trying to make sure I follow the book because I obviously don't want to be fired. I didn't want to risk anything appearing that I wasn't dedicated which is why I haven't take any time off.

Well basically my boss starts asking what is going on with me, why my sparkle just isn't there the way it was when I first started, and she goes on an on about how she picked me out of the management intern group because of the extra energy and sparkle I brought.

And I literally started crying and the whole thing spilled out about how tired I am and how I haven't had a day off of work (other than my weekend) in over a year.

And I could not fricken stop crying! I am horribly embarrassed because that is NOT me. I never cry at work, much less in front of my boss!

And she was so nice and understanding and was properly horrified that I hadn't come to her in the first place so that she could give me at least one day ( she offered to give me an extra day off this upcoming week but again, I don't feel comfortable taking it, especially in light of everything going on) .

So seriously. Is there any way I can come back from this? I feel like I just have absolutely blown it and I'll forever be known to her as the new girl who fricken burst into tears.

The other thing that has me so frustrated is that I now know that my partners are fricken snakes. So I literally have absolutely no one I can speak to at work because I don't know how they are going to twist things.

I worked to get to this point for the better part of 2 years and now what? I'm crying in my bosses office.

4 Replies to Any chance of recovering from bursting into tears in front of your new boss? I'm mortified.

re: Any chance of recovering from bursting into tears in front of your new boss? I'm mortified.
By CinderEmma
On Sun Feb 24, 2019 08:30 AM
Even though it appears as if your whole world is doomed right now, you actually have two things going for you. First, your boss seems to be on your side, (despite the crime list she spewed out against you earlier). She is showing empathy and sincerity for your situation whereas, she could have just said something like "grow up". Sure, the other two people are snakes, but there will always be snakes whereever you go. The trick is to identify which people are the poisonous ones and steer clear of them so you don't get bit.

The second thing you have going for you is your sparkle. You can bring that back. Your boss hired you with an outstanding first impression of you, so you have the chance to redeem yourself and bring that "sparkle" back. Everybody falls from time to time, and everybody must get back up. So what if you burst into tears in front of her? Turn your weakness into strength and show her that you can recover from embarassement.

There are basically two scenarios that are going to play out if you follow this advice. Scenario one: She knows you are trying your best and even if you do make a few more mistakes (and you probably will, everybody does), stay away from the snakes and stay close to those who are your true friends. Don't spread rumors, keep low under the radar, and just do your job to the best of your ability and go home. Things will eventually get better.

Scenario two: Your boss is a snake too, which means that basically no matter what you do, you never would have had any chance anyways so why fret over it all?

I pray for scenario one, greatly wish you luck, and hope that your future begins to improve!
re: Any chance of recovering from bursting into tears in front of your new boss? I'm mortified.
By Anonymousmember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Thu Aug 08, 2019 07:12 AM
Edited by hummingbird (128773) on 2019-08-24 08:36:52 Even if the advice is good this is a spam link
My dear, remember that we're only humans. We have emotional limitations. I have no right to say this because you worked hard to get where you are right now but if this continues, sweetie, that is self-torture already. Try to relax your mind right now, dance to music or play games

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