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re: VENT!!!The teacher's venting thread.....
By katiecat_
On Fri Feb 29, 2008 09:58 AM
To all my prima donnas in my highest level ballet class:

No you don't need to leave to go to another studio because you are so much better than all the other dancers in our studio! Maybe if you just worked a little harder you'd still grow. Hmmm... when you are doing a petite allegro and not sweating, something tells me you could be working harder. Uh, fyi you're actully NOT any better than the other girls. Different, yes, but not better. Also, why even the comparison?

Oh, and that puddle of tears you fell into on the floor, my lovely 16 year old, because you don't feel that I care as much about you as the rest of class, maybe you could try to give me some concrete feedback besides, "Oh, I don't know. It's just too hurtful to come to class when you ignore me like you do". Okay, ignore? So maybe you're not always the star of ever dance we do, but I don't actully ignore you. I just can't make the whole class the (insert crazy teen name here) show.

And the best is the girl who is injured but thinks she's so much better than everyone else that she should get to perform a pointe piece not on pointe because "everyone knows" she's "the best dancer in the class". Okay, you're right, my BFA doesn't mean a thing. I'm trying to destroy your dance career, not help you deal with your injury. Yep, I'm out to get you. In fact, I'm jealous of your amazing ability, that's why I stand in the way of recurring injury and refuse to acknowledge your uncontested right to "best" dancer at our studio.

Oh, and girls, the class two levels below you has great attitudes and is primed to kick your little butts, so when they do and you scream that I play favorites and hate all the "good" dancers, go ahead, try one of those "other" schools. Maybe they will love you more, advance you more, appreciate your "true" talent. Let's be honest, I'm spent!
re: VENT!!!The teacher's venting thread.....
By faerydust00Premium member
On Fri Feb 29, 2008 02:08 PM
OK my turn. I teach in preschools as well as at a studio. (Seperate companies) This morning I was teaching at one of my preschools that I absolutely love. One of the girls just stops dancing in the middle of one of the songs. So I stopped the music and asked her politely to dance with us. (I always try the sweet way first) She looks at me and yells "NO" and says "I don't like dance anyway". So then I told he to go sit in her cubby (they are tall ones with a seat on the bottom, useful for putting on shoes and such) which is where the kids at this school go for time out. Again she yells at me. I had to physically guide her to her cubby so that the rest of the kids could continue class. The whole time she was talking back and being rude to me. UGH!!!!
this is not the first rude student I have had, but I think it was a shock coming from a student at this school, when they are usually so well behaved and well mannered...All I know is that kids today are waaaaaay different then when I was a kid! (And I don't think I 'm that old!)
re: VENT!!!The teacher's venting thread.....
By sunflowerdncrmember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Fri Feb 29, 2008 08:58 PM
To poster above^....I also teach at daycares and know EXACTLY what you mean! I am not old by any means either...ugh.They are cute sometimes though....I try and remember that on bad days. What I have recently done is make each kid a flower out of fun foam stuff and write thier name in the middle. Each flower has 5 petals and everyday they are good they get a sticker on a petal.If they don't get a sticker that day I write a short description as to why not along with the date. (ex:talked back, hit classmate, ect.)After each petal has a sticker on it (or a note to mom), they get to take the flower home and keep it. So far it is working like a charm!
re: VENT!!!The teacher's venting thread.....
By Ahusk89
On Tue May 13, 2008 03:41 PM
My favorite is the parents that complain NON STOP about how they wanted their childs class to only be 30 minutes (which I believe is a waste of time, and cannot get half of the things that I need to get done in that amount of time) so we make their class 30 minutes.

NOW the same class's parents are complaining to me that they aren't learning enough steps in their class. A parent wants to know why her student isn't learning TIMESTEPS in their class....May I also tell you that these students are FIVE. I have never heard of a FIVE year old learning timesteps! And HELLO! If you let me have a 45 minute class with your kids, they would probably have more time to learn the steps that they need to learn! AHHHH!

re: VENT!!!The teacher's venting thread.....
By abc5678
On Mon Jun 30, 2008 10:59 PM
Wow, I know I'm responding to this sooo late, but I am in need of an ear right now myself. I am also dealing with some pre-teens and teens that are making me crazy right now! Also students that I have worked with for the last 8-12 years. The level of disrespect these kids display these days makes me wonder why I am still teaching. Don't get me wrong, dance is my life and I love my students, but would just appreciate a little of the same. I also have them argue with me about choreography and costumes, class placement, you name it! The problem is that I am close with my dancers and try to be there for them when they need a shoulder to lean on. I want to be able to be a support for them, but in turn I think the level of respect that I need as their teacher has gone down the tubes. One would think that if they thought as much of me as they claim to, they would give me some level of respect. But again, teenagers! I have been having a ridiculous amount of in fighting lately and I'm ready to give them a choice between dance or "drama". The whole texing thing is half of the problem and I'm so disgusted that these girls who I thought were such nice kids are being so mean to others without even batting an eyelash! Do they not realize how damaging their words can be? How is it funny to delibrately try to hurt other people? I understand teens can be self-centered, but holy cow! I have so many great things planned for the year, but I don't know if I'm wasting my time and money by trying to make all these plans work because ALL these kids care about is talking behind others backs and being nasty to the kids they don't like today. I feel like I'm living in the Mean Girls movie! I just want dancers who are coming to my studio to dance. We do a lot of great things for our community and to help others and try to teach the kids about being kind and caring people, as well as teaching them to dance, but apparently that's not working out as well as I thought it was! I really want to keep teaching, but I don't know how much more of the drama I can take! Any suggestions?!! PLEASE!!!
re: VENT!!!The teacher's venting thread.....
By agdance
On Tue Jul 01, 2008 10:01 AM
At my studio I have had that problem but I have found that it usually stems from one girl and/or family. I put in my policies that bullying is not allowed and after a warning or two then I expell them from the studio. If a student gets kicked out of class for excessive talking I make them write a one page apology letter to the teacher before they are allowed back in class. The next offense would be a parent meeting. I can't stand snotty teenagers either who I refer to as "Gremlins". One bad apple can spoil the bunch.
re: VENT!!!The teacher's venting thread.....
By abc5678
On Tue Jul 01, 2008 07:04 PM
Thanks for your input. Yeah, I agree that it only takes one difficult student to affect the others. It makes me sad because it's the kids I never thought would pull this type of stuff that are really blowing my mind and breaking my heart. I guess that's why it's so hard to have to come down on them, but ultimately, no student should get away with that behavior no matter who they are. I'm afraid I have given them too much input and now I am being walked over as if it's not even my studio anymore. The worst part for the studio is that these kids are assistant teachers that should know better. If any of the younger students and parents saw this going on they would not want these girls interacting with their children. I have always said what great role models they are and right now I feel like I need to eat my words, because they are being the exact opposite. I love these kids like they were my own, but right now, they are hurting me personally and the studio as well. When is enough enough? I feel like a fool for thinking that I was actually having a good impact on these girls lives and making a difference in the type of people they were becoming. They come from great families who I also love dearly and I guess I thought they respected me as their teacher and a friend. I am learning such a hard lesson right now and it's killing me! I get too attatched to my students and care too much. I don't know how to teach without that connection. How can I not care about these kids? I always end up getting hurt and yet I still go back for more! Am I just nuts?!?!
re: VENT!!!The teacher's venting thread.....
By AnonymousDance
On Thu Jul 03, 2008 04:57 AM
Loving this thread! My god it's good to know i'm not on my own!
1) You know you're coming's not a youth club! Don't wear jeans, bring your dance shoes, bring a drink for god's's not rocket science.
2)Yes, if you forget your routine, it's your fault...not mine! Especially if you haven't practiced it, missed lessons, or even have a copy of it I wrote out for you!
3) Parents...please get your own hobby and stop living your child's! If you think you can make a better routine than me...sod off and do it! That includes sitting in lessons! Of course it doesn't look very good yet, she has to practice!
4) No, I am not availble at 7.30 am...or 10.30 pm, which I swear is when some people try to ring me! GET A LIFE! I will not answer the phone then!
5) No, your child may not win every comp, but that doesn't mean they are robbed every time...sit and watch the finals and learn from them!
and finally...6) If you're not prepared to put the effort in, i.e. stretches, gymnastics, stamina work etc, I can't help you. One hour a week with me is not going to make you fit!
Ahhhh...That felt good! Thank-you!

No doubt i'll be back soon!
re: VENT!!!The teacher's venting thread.....
By abc5678
On Thu Jul 03, 2008 08:33 AM
I guess we all share some of the same problems. It does make me feel better to know that it happens all over. I was starting to think it was just me. It's hard to swallow sometimes when you know you're trying so hard to make things good and you're trying to be the best teacher you can and yet it's still not enough for some people. When you work with people, I guess you have to accept that there will always be some that you will never satisfy, no matter what you do. I always wonder when I deal with difficult parents, why are they bringing their child to me if they think I am doing everything all wrong? There are other studios in my area, why not go somewhere else? Then I figure that they are just trying to get their way and think if they bully me enough that I'll give in and they'll get what they want. Well, I used to give in when I was first starting out, but now I am learning to stand my ground and do what I think is right. I have lost a few students because of it, but the studio is much better off without them anyhow because they were always difficult to deal with and made the atmosphere unpleasant for others. Good luck to the people that have to deal with them now!
re: VENT!!!The teacher's venting thread.....
By Chinue
On Thu Jul 03, 2008 06:19 PM
I have a vent myself. I come from a different ethnic background than most of my students and all of my coworkers at every studio I teach at. Sometimes it is so frustrating to try and deal with the cultural differences that pop up. I am always adjusting, as I am the only one who's "different" and therefore the only one who is affected by things that pop up.

I'd rather have people ask me difficult racial and ethnic questions so that we can open up a dialogue. But there are some questions that really, really, really get on my nerves! My least favorite is "How do you wash your hair?" I always want to give a sarcastic answer.

It can be very difficult to always be the only non-caucasion, especially when I can tell my presence makes other people a little uncomfortable because they want to make sure they don't say anything offensive.
re: VENT!!!The teacher's venting thread.....
By angelfish10member has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Tue Sep 02, 2008 06:38 PM
I'm just a humble assistant, but I still have a major teaching vent!
My studio has a very relaxed dress code. In younger grades, children are allowed to wear any type of ballet clothing, which of course results in lots of brightly colored leotards and skirts. This normally causes no problem at all, and in fact makes it easier to tell the kids apart! Now enter the local (very local) newspaper, wanting to do a story on my studio's 25th anniversary. Several weeks before the photograper and writer came in, we asked all the students in the class that would be observed to wear pink leotards and tights to that class, and we sent home a note so their parent would remember to send them in the proper attire. Come the week of the reporters, all of the little girls are dressed the same and they looked adorable. Except for one! This girl's mother, apparently concerned about her daugter looking pudgy, had gone out and bought a black velvet long sleeved leotard and very heavy black tights. And to top it all off, a hot pink skirt with a boa trim around the bottom! The teacher and I were naturally a little shocked, but at that point there was nothing we could do but hope that she wouldn't be in any of the pictures. Just our luck, she ended up front and center!
re: VENT!!!The teacher's venting thread.....
By badabada
On Tue Sep 30, 2008 12:47 PM
here goes-
i am not your babysitter, i teach the last class of the day, this means i then lock the studio when done.
clases ends at xxx time. that means you should be at studio at least 5 minutes before that time.

why do i have to stay later to wait for you to get here to pick you child up. i am not talking about a 5-10 minute wait, but there have been times in the past and i am sure in the future you have been as late as 30-40 minutes. this is unacceptable.
SO has spoken in past no help.

i can't leave a child in good conscience(sp) alone at night.
re: VENT!!!The teacher's venting thread.....
By terpsidance
On Tue Sep 30, 2008 10:45 PM
I wish parents would go shopping or for a walk when their child is in class. I put up a curtain so they couldn't see in the window while I teach.
re: VENT!!!The teacher's venting thread.....
By faerydust00Premium member
On Wed Oct 01, 2008 02:42 PM
To the Janitors at the elementary where I teach: No, I will not rub off the scuff marks after class...That's why the PTO pays extra janitorial fees. If you want me to do it, maybe the PTO should pay me the fees...and why are you the only one to complain? the other 3 janitors at the other elememntary schools don't say peep...because its their JOB...I didn't ask you to teach the dance class did I?
re: VENT!!!The teacher's venting thread.....
By rosarinho
On Wed Oct 15, 2008 02:46 PM
I've had enough of the what can I do to make my ballet classes fun and bla,bla,bla, I've been there and done that, when they don't like it for what it is they will quit, leaving you to feel used. Then you end up thinking why the hell did I do this in the first place, my class was just fine as it was. Ballet , jazz is fun as it is, if you don't like it leave NOW. My classes are fine, age appropriate and yes, fun, so enroll yourself in clown appreciation for fun and leave me to do my work. I've studied syllabi, teacher's courses and what not, payed fees,ravelled abroad to learn and yes I know my stuff, and no you can not seat untill I say so, you can not yell or talk at the same I'm talking, and no running arround. I will have students that appreciate the art and no brats. I have confidence in my work and I won't change my classes anymore, play in the playground and run arround like crazy in yor house not my classroom. Beverly Spell is my hero, I wonder I long it took to get where she is know with her ballet studio? I want my dream, not entertaining the mass population. Sorry for the spelling, I'm very nervous and I won't take anything else then my dream: a sucsseful ballet studio, simply that.
re: VENT!!!The teacher's venting thread.....
By missjennifer
On Wed Oct 22, 2008 08:08 AM
To the mother of a prima donna: I don't care how many years she's been dancing, or who she has studied under and just how great you think your daughter is, she cannot execute a double pirouette cleanly, so NO! she cannot be on my senior team!

To the late parents: Once or Twice is fine, I understand traffic and getting off of work on time. But NOT every damn week! and by the way late is like five minutes after class begins, not twenty! How do you expect her to learn anything in a 45 kminute class if she is getting less than half of it. And no I will not stop teaching so you can apologize week after week to me! Just drop her off and leave my room quietly!
To those same parents: Keep control of your other children whilst they are in my room please! I don't think it's cute that little susie's brother runs around my room in his wet boots. and I really don't think it is funny to have little susie's sister hanging off my barre, UPSIDE DOWN. You may not care for your child's head but I care that it doesn't splatter all over my floor when she falls because you are too busy chatting it up with the other parents when you come to pick your daughter up.
Don't let your other children linger in my class when I am ready to begin, and then keep calling them to come to you. If they don't come the first time, walk your lazy butt over there and collect them!
To one parent of a 5 year old: Don't let your daughter come in with ther brother (who is 6) instead of YOU dropping her off to my class because you are out in the car! and don't get mad at me when I say I cannot let her leave until YOU come and get her! This is just irresponsible!

AHHH.....I think I feel better!
re: VENT!!!The teacher's venting thread.....
By abc5678
On Wed Oct 22, 2008 07:59 PM
Isn't it amazing what we see at our studios?!! I had a child climb to the top of a support beam right in front of her mother and not one word was said. I was the one that had to tell the child to get down and not do it again. Mom still said nothing! I am beginning to feel like a babysitter for some people rather than a dance teacher. I have some awesome parents and students too, don't get me wrong, but it seems as though the ridiculous ones stand out more sometimes. Perhaps because we just can't believe the kind of crap that they try to pull! I am sooooo tired of hearing excuses for why some students don't work hard each and every week and being asked why a student isn't in a more advanced class when I can't get them to do the beginner stuff in a correct manner. We teachers can't work miracles and sometimes we deal with parents and students who want us to make their children superstars, but they don't want to come to class regularly, they don't know why they need to have technique, they don't want to be bothered with any extra performances, and why do we have to wear dance clothes and put our hair up? The attitude seems to be: My daughter has been dancing for 8 years (fyi, she's like 10, danced 1/2 of it somewhere else and the other by showing up now and again) and why is she not in the advanced classes and a star dancer? I don't pay you all this money to have her not improve each year. Well, show up every week, lose the attitude, put some effort into it, and maybe you will get better! I have no magical fairy dust folks! I don't mind working with the recreational students, as well as the serious ones, but the parents need to know why they are different and accept the choice they made. They can't have it both ways! Of course the students that spend more time in class are going to be stronger dancers than the ones that spend little time in class. They also have to apply themselves in class. I am giving them the tools, but if they are choosing not to use them, well I am not going to beat it out of them. They need to have some of their own desire as well or maybe dance is not an important activity to them. I had no idea teaching would be this trying at times. I try to focus on the positives and on the students that I know I have affected in a positive way. If I have a handful of students that I have helped to develop their love for dance and a desire to keep learning and improving their skill, if I have helped them become better people in the process,then I can be satisfied that I have done my job... regardless of the difficult people that try to bring me down.
re: VENT!!!The teacher's venting thread.....
By badabada
On Sat Oct 25, 2008 12:43 PM
my vent is not so much at the dancers or the parents - they are what they are- most times i find they have been created by the studio itself.

i have a major problem with the owner catering to certain children and parents and being told that they have to be placed front and center in my dances, or the mother will be upset.

what is that, its not like the child is the best - shes not
but shes the owner so its her way or the highway
re: VENT!!!The teacher's venting thread.....
By Janitor8582
On Sat Jan 24, 2009 07:11 PM
sounds like you need another job....somewhere else cause you are too professional for that studio (sarcasm). You are a teacher not a screwed that up so you have to deal with it...sorry

Comment #7896949 deleted
Removed by oz_helen (35388) on 2009-01-25 00:45:59 double post

re: VENT!!!The teacher's venting thread.....
By thadancer
On Sun Jan 25, 2009 01:17 AM
This thread is the best thing I ever posted to the site!

1) No I won't come pick your child up from school because you have a meeting, umm hello. That's not my job and you need to hand that yourself, and NO I will not take the fees off for the class your child missed. Hello obviously you have the money to pay for it you were WORKING!

2) Everyone has to pay a registration fee, EVERYONE! You are not special you cannot get a discount, you have to PAY the FEE!

3) When I say class ends at 8:30 then be there at 8:15. This is not a childcare service come get your child, so you say you are on the way. Hello, where are you oh I'm still stuck in traffic you said you were 10 mins away 20 mins ago. Oh, you are suprised that I called the POLICE on you. That would be called child abandonment, especially if they smell alcohol on your breathe from cocktail hour. TAKE CARE OF YOUR CHILDREN!!

4)So you want the BIG fancy production numbers with 50 dancers in it, but you don't want to come to class on-time, come to the extra rehersals on Saturdays, or just shut the H*LL UP!! Oh I get it you want me to bring fablousity on a SILVER platter for you to crap on. I GET IT!

5) Oh yes, Ms. Smith I can get a huge great prop in your childs dance. Oh you want the best of the best. Great we will get started on it, what do you mean what's on your bill? That's the cost of a prop oh you want me to break down the expenses okay I will do that for you.
Gas (to go buy the supplies for the prop)
Nails, Screws, Bolts, Hinges
The cost of the vehicle to haul it to a from performances, oh and lunch and compensation for the family that built it.

6)To my SO who keeps whinning about money, how about don't hire someone to answer the phone and sit at the front desk. When you are just sitting next to her while doing nothing, that's stupid if you want to save money answer your own DAMN phone, reply to your OWN emails, speak with your students parents. Just shows a little bit of laziness, oh and you keep talking about how great she is for business. Losing 12 students in two weeks if BAD, very BAD! Are you deaf, dumb or stupid get it together or I am gone.

7) And to little Emma's mom no your child cannot be front and center for every dance. Why? because she does not know the choreography yet, plus she has missed many classes. And she's just not that FREAKING GOOD! If you put out the funds for the extra technique classes maybe she could be alot further. So the lesson of the class is Emma your mom is holding you back.

I think I am done for now!
re: VENT!!!The teacher's venting thread.....
By candygirl14_2002
On Tue Jan 27, 2009 12:21 PM
Is it just me or to children these days have no commitment?????

When I was younger I went to dance class every Wednesday night from the age of 12 to 18. I can count on one hand the number of times I missed a class throughout these years.

I have over 100 children in my school and only around 10 of them are actually at class every week per semester. It's terrible!

I try to explain that we are preparing for their show and that it's not me who is going to be on the show but them and if they want their dance to look amazing on the stage then they have to come every week and perfect the choreography but NOPE they don't listen!!!

GRRRR it's so annoying!!!!!
re: VENT!!!The teacher's venting thread.....
By missjennifer
On Tue Jan 27, 2009 10:48 PM
Children have no committment because thier parents don't make them anything!

Parents these days baby thier children so much and make excuses for thier kids. Why wasn't susie at class this week? oh she had homework, she went to a friend's house, she didn't feel like it.
Why bother wasting my time. Sometimes i am tired and "don't feel like it" but I get my ass here because I have MADE A COMMITTMENT!
When I was growing up, i had a point where i wasn't into dance. I wanted to hang out with my friends and not be so involved. But my parents wouldn't let me drop out of dance. my mom always said you made the year committment and you will finish it. next year we can re-evaluate but for now you have made a committment to your studio and your team, you do not let them down. And you know something....she was right!
re: VENT!!!The teacher's venting thread.....
By DevilWrzRinestnz
On Tue Feb 03, 2009 05:42 PM
I just love this thread! Although I have been teaching dance for 17 years, I have only been an pwner for the last year and a half and to read through all of these replies, I have experienced every single problem that you all have faced. Not that I'm glad that you all go through these things, but it ceratinly is nice to know that others go through the same thing that I do and understand it all.

I have been faced with the "potty issue" (letting little ones leave the class to go, which I do not allow)

I've delt with the primadonna dancer who thinks she's above everyone else (I've also delt with the moms)

I've already had to "dismiss" an advanced student from our studio for the terribly negative attitude she brought with her to every class, convention, competition, everywhere! (although it hurt financially, it had to be done. As you all know, bad attitudes affect the rest of the dancers, so she was asked not to return)

The moms of kids who are extremely talented, and mom know that, so she uses that as a pawn to get her way because she knows you don't want to lose her dancer! Grrrrr

Have already had to take a family to court for refusal to pay a damn dime when they owed me upwards of $2000. Offered them a payment plan, had them sign contracts, everything I could to keep the child in dance because I truly loved the girl, but the parents couldn't afford to pay me although they live in an AMAZING custom home, have 2 BRAND NEW cars, kids to go a private school, take lavish vacations, and mom and daughter get hair and nails done every 2 weeks!!!!!!! Arghhhh

And much more!

So, been there, done that, and am so glad I am not alone!!!! It takes a pretty darn strong person to be a teacher/owner, huh?! Best to you all!!!
re: VENT!!!The teacher's venting thread.....
By StepdancerPremium member
On Tue Feb 03, 2009 06:55 PM
missjennifer wrote:

my mom always said you made the year committment and you will finish it. next year we can re-evaluate but for now you have made a committment to your studio and your team, you do not let them down.

That's exactly what my mom always said to me, and what I said to my children. Lo and behold, they grew up taking their commitments seriously. Just like I did!
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