LTap19- 45 min.- and they forgot she was at dance? I've had parents forget that their child had dance and so they don't show up to class but to forget that your child was somewhere and what time she need to be picked up.

If a parent hasn't called saying they will be late and the student hasn't been picked up after 15 min. I call (esspecially if it's my last class)- I'm done- I want to go home.

LTap - how did you stay so calm when they finally came to pick her up!!!

If I had a parent tell me they "forgot" to pick up their kid and came 45 minutes late...I really think I would have said something along the lines of, "You know, I live 40 minutes away and in the time it took you to realize that your kid wasn't home I could have been home already."

How rude of her...seriously.

It's true..I'm nuts. I drive 30 mins to one studio and 40 to another. God I really hope this never happens to me. Because I honestly think if it does, I'll have to say SOMETHING to the parent. kudos to you!

45 minutes late? That's awful. I would start charging a stiff after hours fee for parents who are excessively late picking up; in fact, I've done tha before in extremely problematic cases. That is just rude and arrogant on their part. As a parent, I'd be ashamed to admit that I had FORGOTTEN where my child was.

^ I had a parent once, after being 20 minutes late to pick up her child, keep me another 20 minutes to tell me why she was late. Want to know why? She is a teacher and parents were keeping her after she was supposed to be done because they wanted to talk to her. Gee - I know the feeling of wanting to leave but someone keeps talking!

The parents were called after 15 minutes, and then again every 5 minutes after that until they answered the phone. They chose not to come in the studio to pick up the girl, and just beeped outside when they arrived (granted, the girl wasn't a baby, she was 12, but still). SO ANNOYING.

Sometimes I wonder why people even bother to become parents, really...

Hi Everyone! Had a parent arrive 50 minutes late. Their excuse was that they were grocery shopping and figured that we would wait. I explained that they were to pick up their 12 year old on time next time. The next week they were over an hour late. I stayed with the student for the hour then I shut down the school and let the girl wait outside in the snow and they had to put up with their daughter calling every five minutes. The mother called me and asked why their child was left out in the snow and told to call them every five minutes... I explain it's clearly outlined in the contract they signed, that they were to pick up their child on time. As for calling every five minutes, I told her that their daughter had a thin jacket on and was probably annoyed she had to wait in the cold. The store downstairs told me that the child had been out in the snow for almost 20 minutes after I had left. The parent's excuse was they had grocery shopping to do and ran into some old friends. This continued until finally I billed them for the time of myself or a teacher remaining behind until they picked their child up and I did this as time and a half. Seems money speaks volumes where their child's voice and well-being speaks none. Some People!

So Twinkletoes...

After an hour you simply called it quits and left a 12 year old outside by herself??? I know an hour is BEYOND what you should ever be waiting for parents to come and pick up their kids and that they did sign a contract but while at a studio that YOU are teaching at, she is YOUR responsibility. Just because there is a store downstairs that could "keep an eye on her" that's not their job! They have a store to run, not a 12 year old to watch. In all honesty, what would you have done had something happened to her? Said "Well it wasn't my fault I decided to leave her alone outside because her parents made me wait for an hour already"?? I understand that we all have places to go and things to do, but you should never leave any child all alone like that.

I don't know, I just find it a little wrong that you left her all alone in the freezing cold.

Sorry Twinkletoes, but I have to agree with Jeannie1 - these girls are your responsibility until their parent/caretaker picks them up no matter how late they are. It must have been pretty traumatic for that girl - having parents that are over an hour late and being left alone in the cold. Yikes!

Just playing devil's advocate here, but what if the teacher is a parent herself and needs to get home to her own children. Sorry, but my kids would come first. But, I would have called the cops after 30 minutes and let them deal with it. I don't think I would have just left.

We have in our rules that any student whose ride is more than 10 min. late will be charged a $1 per min. I don't know if we have charged that except in extreme cases or cases that were reoccuring and after hours.

I had an admin. assist. that worked most Saturdays and I was off. I worked one Saturday with her to get some work done and noticed one of our more challenging 7 yr olds had been in the waiting room after her class for about 30 min. My admin. assist. proceeds to mention that the last few weeks the mother had not picked her up for up to 2 hrs. after her class ended!!

I went to talk to the girl and she tells me her mom leaves her here so that she can have a break from her and her bad behavior! When the mom showed up 1 and 1/2 hrs. later I really laid into her... told her we were not a babysitter and that this was the most irresposible thing I had ever heard a mother doing. I told her she was lucky I wasn't calling CPS on her and that she would be charged $120 for the last three weeks she had done this if she was EVER a second late or neglectful again...

No wonder the kid has issues!!

itsadncthng I know you were just playing devils advocate, but think of it this way..since you are a parent.

If you are teaching, you don't leave your kids home alone, correct? I'm assuming someone is there with them at all times. What if you were teaching and couldn't make it home on time, you would still expect the caretaker to be there when you came home, wouldn't you?

I understand we all have our own lives and most of you have your own children, but the fact of the matter is, when you are at work, those kids are your responsibility...no matter HOW late the parents are. If you are the last class to leave, you don't leave until the job is done, and I feel that making sure all of your students have been picked up by the parent/caretaker is part of the job.

I mean, twinkletoes, what would you have done if right after you left this child all alone, someone came and took her? The store owner downstairs has no clue who the kids parents are and would probably just assume that is who it is. What if something happened to the parents that they COULDN'T make it and this child was left there all night??

I know at the studios I work at, we are not ALLOWED to leave until every student has left the studio, it's just plain old common sense.

If an hour had gone by, and I hadn't gotten in touch with the parents, I would have driven the kid home myself, to be honest with you...then I probably would have talked to the parents while at their house saying, "Next time, PLEASE don't forget about your child and don't put me in this situation again."

I dunno. I probably wouldn't leave a kid like that, but 1. the parents have done it before and I probably would have been pretty pissed off by the second time 2. the girl's 12. It's not like she's an infant. My parents would leave me home alone from about the age of 9 and on. I'm still here! 3. the kid had a cell phone and called her parents every 5 mins. If she's not a complete idiot, I'm sure she could have called the police or gone inside the grocery store if someone suspicious tried to approach her. Again, I would have been too much of a wuss to leave her, but I don't think twinkletoes did anything wrong.

I realize she is 12 years old, but it's the principle of the thing. Twinkltoes has the responsibility of that child until the parents get there, no?

She may be 12 years old, but that doesn't mean she isn't vulnerable, am I right?

I don't know...maybe I'm overreacting about it, but I just feel that it's wrong to leave a kid outside in the cold with just a cellphone because her parents were an hour late. Of course I'd be pissed I had to wait for over an hour with her, but if anything ever happened, I would never be able to forgive myself.

Parent 1:
Okay, it's nice to know that you'll be in k-mart. Thanks for telling me you left your contact info in your daughter's dance bag. But I'm pretty sure she'll be fine without you for 1 1/2 hours. SERIOUSLY, it's no different to her, wether you are peeking at the door or shopping 'til you drop. She doesn't care...End of story.

Parent 2:
Yes, we are well into November now. I assumed that since your daughter missed the first 2 months of class, she wasn't coming. We're a minute into the dance....and....WHAT? You want me to welcome her with open arms and hold the rest of the class back while I go through these steps for your little princess? nope. I wasn't happy having your daughter to begin with either. She's too young for that class (Which I pointed out to the SO, without effect). Sorry, it's too late. I was even willing to have her walk on and join for the other half of the dance, that's just the nice person I am. and WHAT? You want your fundraiser money????? Sorry dear, it's going to the booster club, since you don't have a costume bill to pay.

Parent 3:
"I find it extremely rude that when *Lucy* called you to say she was switching studios you never even bothered to ask why. She was one of your company dancers." *Lucy* never worked one day last year. She screwed up the dances at competition. I don't typically check up on dancers that quit, and then spread rumors about the studio. Sorry, no guilt trip there.

Parent 4:
You are a dance teacher. You know how I feel. So when I see you with your daughter in the waiting room, pardon me for not expecting you to leave before class started. I saw your child acting up, and I understand that sometimes you just need a day off, but could you tell me? Please? It'd be much appreciated.

Parent 5:
"When is the shoe money due?" "Uh, two weeks ago."

SO:
Since when do you decide the music and costumes? I made it pretty clear that I disliked the song you picked for me Jr. Company Jazz, but you insisted on it. I cannot choreograph well to a song I dislike. And the costume? They are 8, not 4. That is a preschool aged costume. And the level under that? 8 year olds dressing as 18 year olds. Insanity, I tell you. And did you even consult me? No. Did you even TELL me? No. I found out what they were wearing when you posted costume pictures on the bulliten boards, when I had to seek you out to inform me, because parents we asking me which one they were wearing. And all negative costume comments? To me.

Students 5-8:
*I don't mind if you wear a tutu, just don't put it on your head and run around the room like that.
*Cartwheels are for acro class. This is jazz, get it?
*I'm sorry you don't like this song. Personally I don't either. Your constant whinning about it doesn't help. Shut it.
*Don't complain when Betty does her splits and you can't. She practiced, and YES, she deserved that extra sticker.
*Working pirouette prep is an honer at your age. Take it seriously. Just becuase you are in the advanced section of the class doesn't mean you don't have to work. Guess what? You do.

Students Ages 9-14:
*Your hair is fine. Why constantly checking it in the mirror?
*YES, you have to wear your ballet shoes for ballet class. If they are too tight, why didn't you order them last week, when we placed the shoe order?
*when I say develope and hold...SURPRISE! I mean hold.
*DON'T roll your eyes at me
*Yeah...guess what?...You really DO have to TRY!

This is the teacher's venting, yes? so please, to all the SOs, if you read this don't take it the wrong way...

I love dance, i love teaching, i love the kids i work with, i love the other teacher's at my studio, and my SO is a great person to work for. But what I don't like, rather what I hate, is how my SO can break my down so easily because of the stress they are under... just because you had a bad day, doesn't mean you can take it out on the rest of us. Parent complaints suck, but when a 13 year old child complains that they are not in the front row of one of your teacher's dances, and it happens year after year, realize what age group that teacher is dealing with and watch the class before you critisize that teacher.

Also, if you are trying to be kind hearted by trying to understand a teacher's personal life or otherwise, don't constantly ask a teacher how they "feel about something" when you see tears welling up in their eyes and they are saying it's fine. it means i had a bad day, i was trying to swallow it, and by everything you've said to me today you've made it worse. Asking me to share how i feel about it at that moment in time isn't going to make it any better

sorry everyone, i'm having quite a terrible week... and even though this happened a few weeks ago, it's still on my mind- that's how much i love my job, and my kids, and dance...

To the parents- do not put your children in dance and then complain about how much it costs. If money is an issue, put them in something like swimming! I am not ripping you off, although I know you think that. I am barely making any money!

And another thing- I do not print out monthly newsletters for my health. It has important events and dates on them. Maybe if you read them you would know all the due dates and would not get late fees.

AAAAAAAhhhh !!!

OOHHH the bulletins!!!

Parents:
When I had you a bright yellow piece of paper that states "NEWSLETTER" on top, please don't take it from me and ask what it is. IT SAYS IT IN HUGE LETTERS RIGHT ON TOP OF THE PAPER, GENIOUS.

Kids:
When I tell you to "Zip it, Lock it, Put it in your pocket" that doesn't mean talk right after I tell you to be quiet!! It meants to shut your mouths!!!

Oh boy now don't get all twisted up here. 1. The store is ours. My daughter who is also a teacher was there. 2. I had to go get our special needs daughter from her function, and I will say that these folks were great in understanding why I was an hour late. As you see inconsiderate people affect more than just those in their own petty tiny little bubble. These parents are solely responsible for this child. The parents created a situation where they, not me, put their child in jeopardy. It was not my choice to put this child's needs second or third to groceries or meeting and going out for a drink with friends. It was not my choice to let this child who wasn't clothed properly, and knowing this, stand out in the snow. And, it was definitely not my choice, after being told how much this was inconveniencing this child (and I'd like to add the parents merely shrugged when I told them this)myself, and other staff members who also have families and responsibilities to their own children. The bottom line is they didn't care. And that is the issue here and why it's very sad.

Every day we are in situations where we wonder what if. Driving home during a rain storm we see a friend of one of our children walking. Do we pick them up? You want to. But just recently there was an article in the paper where a ride was offered to a child and then the child accused the driver, who was only being considerate, of rape. It turned out to be false. But what if. We see a child at a corner store when we stopped in to pick up milk being pushed around by a group of older kids. Do we step in? Say something? Help the child? Will one of these older kids pull a gun? A knife?

I am responsible for the child to a point. But what about my child waiting to be picked up by me? What about those workers who stayed behind and were wondering where the heck I was? What am I to do? Forget my own child and stay with a stranger's child who is 12 and who had a phone and whose parents were already spoken to about this, and who was being watched by yet another of my staff. What if these workers left my child unattended, which wouldn't happen, my daughter is younger and unable to fend for herself. Yet I'm suppose to allow a guilt trip to oversee the well being of my own child because some irresponsible person who doesn't obviously give a darn who they hurt, create troubles for, doesn't care? No.

I waited an hour. I would have been made to wait longer. And my child? And the workers generous with their time? And their families? Where do we draw the line on responsibility? I can assure you adamently, that while that child is taking lessons, or in my studio within studio hours, is well looked after. We are responsible for this. After studio hours, if the child is under 10, they are made to wait upstairs in the lounge.

I have taken children home with me when their parents have forgotten them. I have offered rides to kids who live out of town but only when my family is safe and home and everyone there is taken care of first. We need to make parents more responsible for their own children and not allow them to push off their responsibility onto others. If this child had been taken I would have been greatly upset. But I feel the parents should be accountable for their own. First I am a mom and wife and then a studio owner and teacher. It's important to keep all this in perspective for those much younger or you will suffer burn out. There are so many times when we've seen children wronged. We do the best we can but we can't save the world, we can only do as much as we can.

By the way, the 12 year, while waiting told my daughter that one time, her parents had gone out partying after dropping her off at school for basketball practice and forgot about her. She waited outside the school for an hour and a half. No teachers stayed. She ended up walking home and staying home alone for two days. Her parents, their choices, their responsibility. Sad as it is.

Sorry Jeannie if I've offended you with all this.

Told you guys there was probably a good reason why she did it. I'm sorry you had to put up with them, twinkletoes. That's really awful.

wasn't offended. Just a complete misunderstanding. I wish you had mentioned that before hand though!

It just made it sound like you got fed up and left. And you didn't mention that the store was also yours

It's ok. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. And some things said I too agree with. But the bottom line is, my kids come first,as it should be with these parents but sadly, is not. Being older, I've seen the times change where at one time, we didn't hesitate to offer help, take a child home, drive them home, drop them off at a relative, etc... to where now, we're afraid to do any of this out of fear of being judged, accused of wrong doings... and that too is sad. I see it in a lot of what you all post in the children's behaviors. Speaking back, snide comments, rude remarks, outrageous behaviors... all wouldn't have been so maybe 10 years or more ago. Now, today's kids are so different and difficult to teach.

Family dynamics are not what they used to be, and more and more we're seeing blended families, are dealing with step parents as well as bio parents and this poses at times as being quite difficult at best.

I feel for you miss anna... and how your SO is dealing with all this. Shame, really. But I wonder if this SO still teaches or has resigned herself to just the SO duties. I enjoy dance and despite what some may have perceived from my poorly written postings, I love kids and teaching them. I have 5 children of my own, some adopted, some bio, some blended (laughing). I'm the poster person for today's family I think.

At our studios, all complaints come to me, not the teachers. If a parent insists on complaining to the teacher, then our teachers have been instructed to send them to me. I then have a meeting with the teacher in question and get the full story. Still being a teacher, I can relate...I then talk to the student with or without parent present, depending on age. Some complaints are based on simple misunderstandings that can be easily cleared up. Others are dealt with a meeting of all parties to work out an amicable solution for all. However, for a lot of things, it is highly important for the SO to stand by the teacher. Cost complaints are rarely the teacher's fault if at all. We don't control costume companies, competitions, clothing distributors etc...

I have great teachers, and great teacher's in training who believe in the same fundamentals of teaching dance and I do. Most of my long term teachers are former students who have either trained with us or have gone away and come back to teach. I couldn't do any of what we do without them. So they must be appreciated and supported.

Living in the family that I do and have, I think I've seen things from a variety of perspectives. And I have to tell you, however, still being a teacher and from a teacher's stand point... the kids today are a bigger challenge then what they were 10 years ago. Parents are different too.

I believe Anna needed her SO to take charge of the situation and not patronize her, which if I read it correctly is sort of what happened?

Strong policies gone over with parents at registration are very important too. I've had parents get up and walk out of registration because the policies were too strict, they wanted a payment plan but didn't want to pay the fee of $15.00 for it, felt we should provide the shoes and uniform all for the same cost and that the costumes should be bought by us and not them, however those who stayed and agreed to our policies are and were worth keeping.

It's difficult enough to teach, but add all the attitude problems from the kids, parents complaining, choreography responsibilities, competition stresses, family dynamics.... oi! And it's expensive. Parents don't get the added costs such as uniforms, shoes, costumes, competition fees, recital costs... blah, blah, blah... and that's just the half of it.

It would be nice, just once, instead of complaining or creating trouble, to have a few parents come in and say: wow! you are doing such a fantastic job, I've recommended your studio to all kinds of folks...thank you for being a great teacher, my daughter is in good hands...

It's ok, Jeannie!

Your heart was in the right place!

Twinkletoes -
I completely agree with you about the generation of parents and their children. Luckily I think I am in a good generation of parents to come (I'm 23...born in the good ol' 80s!..don't worry, I'm not having kids yet..definitely too young for that!).

I know that I, personally, as well as everyone I know from my generation, was raised knowing to respect others, and treat others how you would like to be treated (the good old golden rule!). Back in the 80's, as most of you know, parents weren't afraid to take time off to raise their kids. My mom was a first grade teacher before she started having kids. She took off from work from 1981 until probably 1989..when my younger brother was old enough to be in preschool. Then she went back to work part time as a preschool teacher. And I'll be the first to admit that even though at the time my dad's business wasn't doing as well as it is now, my mom still knew that she had to raise the three of us before she could go back to work.

Now a days we are seeing kids being raised by grandparents, nannies, and day care centers and I think that is part of the problem. When kids are young, they are so easily influenced and so much learning is done within those first early years, don't you agree? Most things are just handed to them now and they don't have to work for anything in life....let ALONE work hard in dance class, apparently.

All I know is that tonight, when I teach dance, I'm not letting anyone get away with anything. It's bad enough I slipped down a whole flight of stairs last night (stupid socks) and bumped my rear end pretty bad and my entire right side is KILLING me (and yes, I know it's funny...I'll admit I would have been the first person to laugh had I seen someone slip down their own stairs like I did). But if I have any of my kids acting out tonight, it'll be push-up-city for them!!

Twinkletoes -
As Jeannie said, your post made it sound like you got fed up and left. Knowing the whole story really changed my thoughts on the situation. I hope my earlier post did not offend you.

Jeannie -
I hope your rear end feels better.

TwinkleToes- I feel bad for you, having to leave your own daughter for that hour because of other parents irresponisbility.
However after having read your subsequent posts about this girl and her family, have you ever considered calling Children's Aid on them? I mean I realize she is 12 but still a 12 year old whose parents obviously forget to pick her up and she speands two days alone because they went partying. It sounds like plain and simple neglect to me. I once had to wait over an hour for a child's parent, and I rightfully informed the mother, that once could be a mistake or something could have kept her, but repeated incidents like these I would be calling children's aid.

Where I am in Canada, the school's call Children's Aid if parents are consistently late, or do not show to pick up their child ina reasonable amount of time.
Some people think of becaus ethey can afford dance lessons or she is involved in sports or extra activites at school, these kids come from good families. Sadly not always the case.

I don't mean to say that this family is horrible but from what I've read, and the incidents you've spoke about I have a feeling they should be reported.