All of the above comments are the precise reason I don't do competitions...as many of you say, people making commitments and then actually following through with them are not necessarily one and the same thing. But I can tell you this much; if I were ever to get back into the competition arena (one of my young assistant teachers wants to do this, and she can HAVE it!), the rules would be all but etched in stone, and there would be absolutely NO EXCEPTIONS made short of serious personal illness (like in a coma in ICU!) or extreme family emergencies. Dancers are, first and foremost, naturally gentle artistic people, but we must all understand that good business practices are equally, if not more important, than actual dance talent (good talented teachers can be hired). My school has been very successful for over 40 years and we have not survived that long by allowing parents and kids to run things. We must make our rules, be sure they are understood and agreed upon in advance, and by golly, stick with them, and just learn to take gripey parents and whiney, lazy, spoiled brat kids with a large grain of salt. YOU ARE IN CHARGE, not them, and it is YOUR business, not theirs, at stake. Trust me, you will gain their respect in the long run and will turn out a much better work product AND the kids will have higher self-esteem from actually working hard for and achieving a goal. I also find that it helps to have the parent and child sign an agreement up front stating that they have read, understand, and agree to abide by those rules; I keep these on file for future referenece and post them in several location in the studio, and be sure they are fully aware of the consequences of not following the rules. Just to make my point: Many years ago we had a swim team coach in our town who was "mean as a junkyard dog". The kids all complained about him and said they hated him and we battled royally with him every year because we wanted the kids for rehearsal practice and he demanded that they be at swim practice. He would not give an inch, but guess what? He consistently produced a state championship swim team for nearly two decades and at his funeral a couple of years ago, there was standing room only and the eulogies and tributes from some of those kids...well, let's just say that there was not a dry eye in the place. They loved and respected him. So we must all be firm and fair and one day, believe me, these kids will thank you for it and understand that you were being "tough" because you truly cared about and wanted what was best for them. I know this is long-winded and a bit "preachy", but I am so disturbed by this modern trend toward laziness, irresponsibility, and lack of self-descipline that I see daily with the kids (and disorganization on the part of so many parents!)that I am consdering retiring and doing something else that has nothing to do with kids. Do any of you feel that the parents today have their kids involved in far too many activities and that they can't really become really good at any one thing because they are spread so thin? Back in my childhood, you either took dance, OR piano, OR you did athletics, not all of the above and then some. And WHEN do they have time for homework after dragging their exhausted little selves home at night after all these activities? I guess Mom does that for them (sadly, I know several who do). Interested in any thoughts on that subject.

Wow Not a teacher here again but I had to comment about competition.
My daughter is 11 and has been competing in Irish dance for 2 yrs. Her competition class was by invitation only. She loves it and I have no problems getting her to class. When she was invited in she made the choice and committed to extra classes, competitions ect. We never miss class and most of the girls in her class never miss class (her class has about 10 girls). My daughter has missed birthday parties, family parties play dates because of class and competition. I blame the parents when they don't show up. Well, if the dancer committed to it it's up to the parents to make sure they are committed or pull them out. They are waisting their money anyways. I ask my daughter every year do you want to continue in competition or just for fun. My daughter takes 4 classes a week (competition, tecnique, jazz and ballet). Also she is required to practice at home at least an hour a day which she does faithfully. Yes it's a big committment but if you commit then go to clas and practice!

If you are clear up front with the level of committment and the consequences of not being in class and fulfilling committments there should be no problems. I have only 2x removed someone from our dance team in 5 years for lack of committment. Because people know this before they join some decide NOT to do it and those who do are good members of our group.

I'll tell the answer to the school sport dominance battle. Its all about stature(sp) in the community. Parents want popularity too and if their kids play sports in school, they will quickly gain the popularity and dominance they long for. I've seen it too many times. Also, if you play school sports its mandatory that you attend every part of it or you have to sit the bench or get removed from the team. I get so ticked my team members miss practice for school sports. Its annoying. Don't parents realize that my competition team is mandatory too???

Tumblebug, if you make it mandatory and stick to rules, they will do it or leave it. If you toss people off for missing they will get it. If you allow one iota of leeway, they will run with it.

Wow! I think we as teachers can all agree that the biggest problem we face is the lack of commitment. I have racked my brain for ways to solve this problem and in the end I totally agree with Dancedeb. I try not to be the Wicked Witch of the West but I do set standards and I stick by them no matter what. In my first years as a studio owner I lost a few students because of this and it crushed me but I had to tell myself that the students who left were not the committed students that I wanted anyway. And now my reputation and strong work ethic has helped me to build a large group of dancers who truly love what they do and are committed all the way. Occassionally I get the dancer that just can't even meet me half way but they usually don't last long. I realized that I have to stop feeling sorry for the kids and their parents and also stop making exceptions for everyone. There was one particular incident that did it for me. I had a class of only five girls that were getting ready to compete in a week. They had their last class before the competition that night and I was dutifully waiting at the studio. Not one girl showed up for practice!!! I was so mad! Then it finally hit me- I was giving my every waking hour to make this studio successful only to be met with this. I had had enough! I made the decision then to be tough but fair and it has really paid off for me. Teachers: it's time to look out for yourself now. You live, breath and thrive off of your profession and are constantly giving 110% for these dancers and you shouldn't let them walk all over you! I have had to find a balance between being a fun and energetic teacher and being a tough and by the book teacher. I have finally gained that respect from my students and I hope that all of you can do that too. You will not beleive how much more you will love what you do!!

I don't even feel like teaching today. I was all pumped up last week, excited to be going back after a 2 week break. What a difference a day makes. Jazz is like a "stepchild" in our school and after all my hard work last year...it still is. Blah,blah,blah. Long story short, my energy is zapped and I am just not into it today.

If there was just some way to get the parents to read this with out hearing them complain because were complaining about them.. lol YEAH RIGHT!!

Everyone seems to be having the same problem. Lack of commitment and effort from parents and kids. Also lack of commitment from other teachers and so forth in your own studio.

I will agree that the summer months take the biggest toll on us (teachers/owners). We have a lot of students that drop out over the summer for other sports or just because the parents dont want to mess with doing anything over the summer (lazy). Then when fall rolls around we see an increase in kids in classes. Then we face the problem of all our kids that were here during the summer are at a much higher level then the kids that just came back. Same thing year after year and yet we still explain to the parents they need to come to class during the summer to stay at the same level as the rest. (like talking to a brick wall)

My new thoughts... and I tried this last night. Enough with the nice teacher, time to get down and ugly. Once again referring to my comp class, they have jazz for an hour then a 45 min break then acro for an hour. In between classes they all ate arbys. So I calmly walk up front look at all the girls and proceed to tell them "If i hear 1 person complain about their stomache hurting, heads hurting, or they are going to get sick, NO ONE will be eating between classes. You will have to eat before your first class or after your last class!!" They all started to say well.. and I quickly shut them up and told them I was serious and walked away. Didnt leave room for the but, well, why, but, stuff. Class was a different story. We went over and over and over and over and over and over the dance. Lets just say the girls went home with an attitude, and wore out, and I went home HAPPY! I felt like I finally accomplished something, like we actually made progress, like that all actually learned something.

So sticking to your guns and becoming the "Mean horrible teacher that never lets us rest" is well worth it to me to produce a winning team and wonderful students.

I totally agree with all of you. I have seen a lack of commitment
from dance students and even a few dance teachers.

If you are going to miss dance class every other week because you
have to go a friends birthday party do not even think about dance
one bit.

If you have ten other activites that you are already committed to
doing on the same day as dance why sign up for dance?

I know that most dance teachers are totally committed but for the
few that a little help:

1. Your a dance teacher; you basically should know to get to your
dance class on time if not even earlier to prepare for your dance
class.

2. Don't expect your assistant dance teacher/student dance teach-er to teach the whole dance class for you. That is your responsi-bility.

3. If you are going to be late let your assistant/student teacher
know ahead of time or as soon as possible for them to prepare. Do
not make this a constant habit.

I think that's it for now.

Love, Peace, and Pointe Those Toes,
missdancediva
~Charlotte L. Hlavac~

Me a parent again
Mean wicked teachers my thoughts.... My daughter teachers are the nicest women in the world except when crossed. I have seen Ms. Sweet turn strict when for the 2nd week little Julie didn't wear the correct clothes-after being told nicely the week before to wear the right things. I have witnessed it but never has my daughter been part if it for we follow the rules. Ms Sweet would give you the shirt off her back and bend over backwards if you were trying but don't cross her. It's simple-here's the rules, here's the consequences for not following them. And if you don't like it well there's another studio down the road and they won't put up with it either. I love my daughters teachers but wouldn't want to be on their bad side. My daughters school has a great reputation which they have earned.
As far as committment when my daughter (and us as well) committed to dance competition she chose to drop all other activities-sports, Girl Scouts, music lessons ect. Dance is too much with other things. You can't do well in 3 sports and dance but you can do well in dance period. Or 1 sport.
As I said before my daughter is 11. She's been dancing since she was 2 1/2 and has been with her current school for 5 yrs. We left the other schools because she wanted different dance than they offered. My hats truly go off to you dance teachers. We have and have had several special teachers who have dedicated their lives to teaching our daughter. Thanks from my family to you for your hard work and dedication. And I say GET TOUGH-it will help in the long run.

Thanks HighKick Dancer...you sound like a sensible, intelligent parent who has the best interest of her child at heart. In all fairness, I must say that most parents are well-intentioned,if somewhat misguided, but you seem to be the dream parent that all teachers want. Would you consider moving to my town? HA! Sometimes life is about choices and we must all realize that we may be able to "have it all", but maybe just not all at the same time. Your attitude is a breath of fresh air for us frazzled teachers...thanks again! I know your daughter will do well in life with such a fine example to follow.

Hi,

I don't know where you live, but if you are ever looking for a new school, I would love to have your daughter and her parents!! LOL!!
I do have many great parents, but the majority just doesn't get it!!
Hear is a great example!! We passed out a newsletter back in October with the recital dates listed. We also posted it on our site and the studio board.
This one child (who was dancing for the first time and had a lot of potential) was dropped of by her dad every week. Her mom worked at the local Dunkin Donuts and I would see her every afternoon to get my coffee. Every time I went into the store she would ask when the recital was. A hundred times I told her the dates and that a newsletter was sent home with her daughter and it was on our site. A month before we sent out the entire recital packet with all the times and info. I gave it to her dad and told him to give it to his wife and have her call me if she had any questions.
The day before the dress rehearsal I again went into Dunks and reminded her that the rehearsal was the next day. She said she would be there.
Well, she was a no show at the rehearsal. We tried calling her that evening (like I had nothing else better to do the night before putting on a show with over 200 students). There was no answer or answering machine. We tried every hour until 10PM. Also called the next AM and no answer.
Well, she never showed up at the show!! I felt so bad for that little girl who worked so hard.
This is the kicker: I went into Dunks about 3 days after the show and the mom says: "So, when is the recital, Suzie can't wait!!" Hello!!! Anybody home there!!
I explained to her that the show was 3 days ago and she was furious at me. She said I should have called her with all the details because her husband never told her anything....didn't matter that I told her a hundred times!! I give up!!!!!
Wow, that was a vent I needed. I was feeling so guilty because this little girl was a sweety, but it wasn't my fault. i went above and beyond to pass on the info.

What a great forum this has been! Thanks for sharing !
DARE TO DANCE!

Thanks my daughter is a sweetie. Her wonderful teachers have helped mold her with confidence, self assurance, and responsibility. We are at the best dance school around with the best teachers around. You teachers all sound great too-don't get discouraged. I do feel sorry for the little girl who missed the recital. Perhaps her parents have problems. It's sad. My daughter has loved her recital for years.
As far as the gossips and complainers-I stay as far away as possible. We have them even at our great school-people don't realize how good they have it. I have 3 friends from dance school who I've gotten close to. Yea we gossip-like guess what so and so said but we don't feed into the gossip. That's crazy. Who care if Mary got put in front for the dance recital. She earned it with hard work. They're probably saying things about me as my daughter was in front for 3 numbers. Who cares.
My daughter has a great love of dance and hopes someday to dance on Broadway or she says if that doesn't work out she'll work for Donald Trump. She has great dreams. Her teachers at school and dance have helped her along the way.
Hey does anyone have any connections to Broadway?

To High Kick Dancer,
Over the summer Atlantic City, NJ has talent shows on the boardwalk. Call their Chamber of Commerce or tourist info about it. Several of our kids have gotten contracts with agents. One of our kid just did a stint on Law & Order. She sends the kids on auditions for just about everything. She is very good. Many kids have been picked up by agents that way. She does not take recommendations from people, she likes to discover them herself.

As most of you know, I didn't want to go in yesterday. Of course I did go and class went well. Last week was just "one of those weeks". It has been difficult getting students to focus. The summer months seem to be so sporadic with kids vacationing etc. Hang in there all you teachers.... it's Friday!

Speaking of kids involved in too many activities...I have a 5 year old that is in my Combo class. She is in swimming twice a week and karate. During the spring she is in soccer instead of swimming. Um...is that insane or what??? She is 5 years old.

Yes, I think that is a little too much for a five year old. When does she have time for herself?

Love, Peace, and Pointe Those Toes,
missdancediva
Charlotte L. Hlavac

This has been such a insightful thread to read!!

And...here I go again. What's with these kids? (12/13 yr olds) that have a major attitude problem. Saying stuff like "Nobody wants to stand next to her" and "unfortunately I have to dance with someone younger than me" "you suck" "I wont be at class because I have something better to do".

Ohhh but what about your fellow teachers?!

* I teach 2 classes a week (on top of finishing off my own dance studies and international baccalaureate diploma), my very good friend X teaches 5 classes a week. And OBVIOUSLY that means she's higher up in the foodchain now and how stupid am I to expect her to let me do my classes my way since obviously she knows SO much better than me. "Play this music" , "Do this move", "Tell them this"...... GRRRR!! I'm not her and the parents and students are very pleased with my teaching.

* We have some teachers who have only danced hip hop in their life and look down on me and some other hip hop teachers who also teach other stuff (showdancing, salsa...). I guess we're just automatically bad hip hop teachers because we know how to do other styles too and didn't grow up in the ghetto, right.

* And, I don't mean to upset anyone now, but we have a few ballet and modern teachers at our school who look down their nose on all hip hop, show, salsa, breakdancing, tap etc teachers. Like we don't do real dancing.

And the fellow dance students??

* "Oh why are you talking to her?!?!?!? Don't you know he goes to Ms Z's classes and not Mr X's like us!!!" Er... so what?! I can't make friends with someone because they're going to some other teacher's class than I am? Big Major Blah!

* I just love my fellow students who dress up for a class, oh I so do... lipstick, make up, bling bling, designer clothes. And OBVIOUSLY I take their advice when they come and tell me that there's a small hole in my socks and I should go change them, or that my grey pants and yellow shirt don't match and I should reconsider my choice of clothing next time. AS IF! Dance classes are for dancing, they're not some catwalk fashion show...

* Let's go back to my friend, X, the one who teaches 5 classes a week. The other day when we were goofing around, finishing off our hiphop show for a dance festival, she started locking (this is a dance that falls into the hiphip category). I've been locking for 3 years, I've had several teachers who've met the original lockers so I've learned from the best. Now, she was doing simple stuff like points and wristrolls all wrong, so I corrected her and first she went "Um, excuse me?"and then "Well whatever, I don't even like locking". Right-o, wasn't that locking you were teaching in your class yesterday when I was watching through the glassdoor?Sorry,I'll stay quiet and let you teach your students the wrong way of doing it too.

Grr.. sometimes I just hate dancers in general!! There's so much b**ching going on all the time... lol I love this topic though

well, i'm a student myself, but about the co-teacher that doesn't help and just socializes, it is very distracting to us students who are trying to focus because when that teacher gets to our parent we are like, "what can they possibly be talking about?? I hope they don't become friends!" it is very annoying! that's my vent for today!! lol.

*thanks for teaching us, the brats!*
~pointeprincess~

I have had my studio 28 years and have about 400 students. In January another dance studio moved 2 blocks from me. Her studio was about 5 miles from mine before she moved. She left a note taped to my front door explaining that she rented the space because it was a good price. She has had her studio about 20 years and is established. I did not respond to her note but simply went about my business. I had people ask me if I was bothered about it (customers and friends) and I told them that I felt that we had a different type of studio. She is big in competition and I focus on recreational dance trying to instill good self images and fun. My stuio has not suffered. I don't talk bad about her, nor would I. It just makes me mad that someone would do that to a studio that has been so close for so many years. I was just wondering what others would think if a competitors studio moved that close to one of you.

Isn't this the TEACHERS ONLY board? That's my gripe, people posting on here that are parents/students/non-teachers. This is a place for teachers to come and talk with each other, getting and sharing advice. Why are parents replying here on the post titled: VENT!!!The teacher's venting thread? Why are students posting here? Come on! There are message boards for you to speak with teachers and this is not it! I am glad you and your children follow rules, that's why they are there. I am glad students are wanting to continue and pursue my passion. But you clicked on TEACHERS ONLY and unfortunately that does not include you. I hope dance.net follows up with their suggestion to make this a place for teachers only and the same goes for the studio owners page.
Do any other teachers feel the same? My staff and I can't be the only ones:)

You know what i really dont understand guys. Is that when you stand there in front of a class and correct a movement because more than one person has done it worng, and you ask them to do it again and they do it exactly the same way. And then dont understand why i got upset.

Another thing i would love to vent is when you get asked to do a piece of choreography - ifyou want me to do it let me do it my way rather than your way. I had someone ask me to do a piece, they ended up choosing the music and also choreographed it half their way cause they had 'ideas'. Is this my dance or yours?????

And children coming into class without their proper gear that drives me nuts.

And one last thing, i still compete for my studio in groups - the other day we started anew lyrical piece, and people who did not ocncentrate on ballet, or even give tow hoots about ballet have been placed in the front, now im not saying that i should have been, but definatley not those two people, there are others a lot better than them.