Yeesh! Have things changed that much since I sold my dance schools? What on earth! I don't have anything to vent. But it sounds as if all common courtesy has flown out the window.

All of your points, of course, are valid and venting among each other is a great way to learn what the pitfalls of the profession are.

I do have a very old lesson I learned the hard way when trying to be as effective as one can. With unruly, uncooperative students, stop talking at them. If a class is noisy, I learned to stop and wait a few seconds. Eventually, the students would look around and realize I wasn't talking until they were ready to listen. Then, I would say, "if you are talking, it must mean you don't want to hear what I have to say and that's too bad since I had some really fun things for you today. So, I'll wait until you are ready.". Instantly, all mouths closed.

Another trick is to play music loudly enough to catch their attention. But not just any music, something they are very unfamiliar with, Pavarotti, if need be.

I also agree that today's parents seem less interested in the core of the dance courses taught than having an hour of child-free time. That's pretty sad.

If parents are overbearing or high-handed, again, less said soonest mended. Sounds old and trite but the entire world seems to feel noise fills the vacuum left by their inability to cope.

However, you can NEVER allow anyone to neutralize your control over your classes. The other trite expression is: Act As If. Meaning, if you act as if you tolerate no nonsense, there is little room for lack of control. Maintaining control in your classes is central to accomplishment. But, you can't be afraid of it either. What I lack in stature (I'm 4'10), I make up for in determination. And, worse case scenario is the teacher who is predictable. NEVER ever be predictable. You may as well hand them the ammunition they need to wrest control from you.

Parents who wants everything to suit their needs no matter if they are in a troupe

It is so frustration to teach students who say you expect to much. How can you expect to much? Is asking to be at class on time with proper dance attire to much?

a student recently quit dance class (2 weeks ago), she didnt tell us why, and I have not yet had time to talk with the parents. She doesnt have to tell me why, I know why. She did not like the song they will be dancing to this year and she did not like the outfits picked out and she didnt understand why she couldnt be in the higher level class.

Our classes on based on ability not age. If we have a 8 year old that can do the advanced level jazz then we stick her in there. If we have a 13 year old that cant keep up with the advanced class she will be put in a lower level. Why is it so hard for students to understand that in order to progress you have to be able to perfrom certain steps/tricks, and flexibilty plays a big part. We have informed everyone (student and parents) of this, they are handed papers of what they must be able to do to be in the next level. Its such a hard thing to explain to this girl because she has just started middle school this year, so she has the attitude of "Im older then I really am."

Her attitude in acro is slowly going the same way because she was in the advanced class but I had to move her down as she was not performing to her full ability. This is highly stressed in acro. They are informed week after week, that if they do not keep good attiutdes, try hard, and come to class they will be moved down.

I just ticks me off when they think they should be in a higher level, when yet they cant even do what the others can, and I enform her of what she needs to work on but doesnt at home. YOU WILL GET NO WHERE IN LIFE IF U KEEP QUITTING SOMETHING JUST CAUSE YOU DONT LIKE IT, OR ITS HARD!!!! ggeeezzzz some sutdents.

I LOVE IT!!!!

I always thought I was the only one with thiese problems. I also like that we can come to this page and share our thoughts as teachers or even as a studio owner.

What I cannot stand is when I come into class with a thoroughly detailed lesson plan for the students with an agenda in mind and things I need to teach in the short amount of time I get with them. However, the kids can't seem to stop talking while I'm explaining and demonstrating combinations and progressions and then get upset when they can't do it right across the floor!! What do you expect?? And no, I will not stop my class in the middle of it to repeat everything I already said for you because you weren't listening!! How do you expect to learn anything if you don't ever listen??? And don't come into my class late and then proceed to start chatting up a storm and disrupting my class!! It's so aggravating because there is a thin line between the authority you have over the students and stepping on the toes of the parents! The parents bring the kids to class late and they then disrupt your class...you make them sit out and you get yelled at?? It somehow doesn't make sense...and no, I will not watch your other non dancing children so that you can run errands or pick up little johnny from baseball practice!! I am a dance teacher...NOT a babysitter!! There....I feel better!

How about the parents who think they know which costumes would be best for the class, and feel they have every right to let you know what they are, even after you've picked out what you want? I had one mother leave me a note with the page and costume # that she felt we should use for a tap group. First of all, it was ugly, very cheap and in no way, shape or form had anything to do with the routine we are performing. Second of all, if I wanted an opinion I would have asked for one!!!
There, I feel better and I'm still going to order the costume that I want and will take great pleasure in telling this mother how wonderful the costume looks on her daughter.

I require students to take 1 Ballet class if they want to compete; they can take more, but 1 is minimum. It never fails, when students who havn't competed before think about joining the competitive team, and read the information, just about every one of them will come up to me and say in a really whiny voice, "do I REALLY have to take Ballet to compete?" I always say yes and tell them why. Then they ask if they have to pay extra to come to Ballet. I'll tell them that if they cannot afford $5 per week to come to Ballet, then I'll let them join for free. That usually stops it right there. I'm so mean

Christie

Sorry, I was sneaking around your board and I just feel that I want to give a quick comment...
I am a dancer's mum and over the two years she has been dancing I have seen everything that you all have had to experience.
I am embarrassed at the behaviour of some parents.
Sometimes, however, the teacher doesn't make it easier for herself though - the rules are the rules and there are no exceptions. Our teacher used to be very strict but lately has been allowing certain rules to be broken - for example if your child misses two practises for recital then you are out!
Or, compromising on an outfit for a child even though the rest of the team have all theirs?
Or, accepting crap excuses why a persistent latecomer to class
is late?
Is it because all the slack parents of slack dancers have finally worn her down? I hope not - because she's a damned fine teacher!!! Don't worry though - in my daughters classes I make sure that everyone is up to scratch, on time, in correct gear etc - it's my little bit to help out. Funnily enough, no parent dares complain to me...

Parents who want their child to learn "real ballet" aka do barre exersises, across the floor, center floor, work on their turnout, know all the feet and arm positions ( just a couple of examples)
WHEN THEY ARE ONLY 3 AND SIGNED UP FOR A CREATIVE MOVEMENT CLASS... NOT BALLET. You start ballet when you are 6 or 7... NOT 3!!!!!
ahh that felt good loll
jb_dancer

For the person who had a Mom tell her the page and name of the costume, I have to ask..... How did she get that information? Those books are for studio owners and teachers ONLY !! If you are shareing them with your students and thier parents , YOU DESERVE WHAT YOU GET ! My parents and students don't even get the photo of the costumes anymore. I make all of the artistic decisisons and that is that. You can't get 2 people to agree on something . How the heck would you get 15 ?
I read alot of the posts on here and quite frankly a lot of you are setting yourselves up for you heartaches. Go and buy Rhee Gold's book. Do yourself a favor. I had all of the same issues as all of you until I went to my first Project Motivate Seminar. It has taken 2 years but slowly but surely useing the things that I have learned through him my whole business has changed. That is not to say that I don't still have issues with teachers, students and parents from time to time. However, I do have the strength to say no and to stick by my rules. If you treat this like a business it will be a business. If you treat it like a social club and never want to step on anyones toes dare they should leave you, then that is exactly what you get. Be fair and give them more than they expect but always stick to the rules.

Okay! I love this forum.....and I think my Husband will love it even more. I tried to read it all, as to not repeat, but am running out if time. Most if you said it for me.

1. YES! This needs to be for teachers only....and so does the studio owners. I want to feel as though I am getting real answers from people in my position. If I wanted to know what parents or students thought, I would ask the people actually paying me personally! Besides, I want to feel free to ask what I need, from people who really have the answers!

2. Parents who obviously took dance as a child.....for years....until they were 8 or 9.... and knwo everything, so much that they actually correct things I am teaching their children; or think that they canjump in during classes (I out a stop to that one...by embarrassing one parent who did it a lot). Noone has done it since Open a studio if you know so much from your "years" of dance.

3. Dancers who have danced for "years" who come to my studio in its second year and spread the word that I am not an advanced enough studio for her. Whay don't you have any classes at this level..... jeez, maybe because the average dancer here has danced less than 2 years....bring some friends and I will start a class for you.

4. Studio JUMPERS..... that diss their old studio, but then talk constantly about how that studio did it. Oh....and what will you say about me when you leave here? Funny, you haven't worked out in 4 studios...and I am quickly realizing that you are a pain in the @$$.... common denominator???????

5. Kids who want to do everything, and because dance seems to be the longest process...thinking that if there is a rehearsal to miss it is dance......hello.... it takes the longest time, because it needs that amount of time to be done well! Oh....and their parents who allow it. I finally told them at the last run through rehearsal (5 people had missed 3 runthroughs in a row).... that if they parents were not going to tell them to make a choice, I would. I don't cut people from company, but it is getting a little crazy....everyone has some reason they can not come.

6. Parents who think I have no right to be disapointed with attendance, because they pay for it.... and then ask why their little one hasn't moved up?????? Whom....your choice to miss class, my choice to refuse her to the next level.

7. Parents and students who think being able to execute a step is enough....and think that they should move up, because "they learned this stuff last year". Guess what people...you do tendus in the highest level of dance....and when you can't do it with the music or with a straight leg....it isn't a tendu....it's sticking your leg out in front of you!

8. My prices are too high????? Oh, How much did you make last year....how many hours do you work a week?

9. "But it hurts to do splits" "No, I'm not going to do push ups" "I flat out don't like improvisation, and that is why I don't and won't do it"
Regardless of what your parents tell you to make you feel alright about not practicing.... evryone with work, can do splits....it is muscle, not hip rotation....so put in a little effort.
Well, push ups are part of this class.... get over it.
I didn't realize that you were more special than everyone else....here let me get you a chair and you can just watch everyone else putting themselves out there....

10. My last and final vent....I think....is how much I love dance....and the parents and students who just din't get it. One of my summer teachers, who I have known my whole life, sat down some of the students who were "discussing" my policies (both complaining and praising) And said "THIS IS A SCHOOL OF DANCE....not a dance club....you come here to learn what she has to teach...not just hang out and have a dance party. She has spent her entire life working toward this dream, It is everything to her. She didn't just wake up one day and say....gee I think I will open a dance school. Everything she has done in her life has revolved around one day having this studio... so don't walk in here and think that you can tell her how to run it. And realize that when you complain or pout just to do it.... she hears you and it hurts her..... so unless you mean it.....don't say it." When she told me she had this talk with them, I almost cried. I hadn't realized how vulnerable I had made myself....and that people could see it. I realized that people can tell how much I love this job, and that I really do think about this place 24-7. That when something happens int hat studio....negative remarks, a new pair of point shoes, a fall, a student who got a double or triple turn.... it encompasses my whoe day. I hate that I love this job this much.

Hey tiptaptam.......I sure can relate to all that. Hang in there. You sound like a wonderful teacher!

Ok.... I just read all 7 pages of vents. I laughed and agreed and got all worked up on the things that make me mad too. Lol. I'll have to digest all of this and then add some of my own.

One thing that I can add right now that no one mentioned, maybe because it's too gross? Girls who pick their noses!! I absolutely won't tolerate it and make them go wash their hands. I am not holding their hands if they've been doing that. :0

along those same lines Jali are those that keep putting their fingers in their mouths. Yuck.

YES!!! I have one who sucks her thumb all through the class, I ask her not to constantly. Her mother doesn't seem to think it deseves notice. She is 8. Crazy.
I had another one who had cold sores on her chin and had been playing one them. She is only 3, so of course I have to hold her hand. Her mother didn't put a band aid on it, so I had to! Crazy what people don't consider!

I have a vent from tonight class (which is why I am here). I do semesters at my school, but Company is for the full year (the perform in May and June around the state). There are rumors going around my school that one of my leads isn't taking classes next semester, becuase I am too expensive. I actually heard her talking about it, but decided to let it go...incase I heard her wrong (she did stop talking anytime I got too close)...and then today, a student told me thinking that I should know because of the rules I have for Company.
Mind you, I have given this girl about $1500 in scholarships, but she skipped too many classes last year and this semester, and had her scholarship taken away. Her mother said she understood.... but when they got the bill for the February semester they were "astounded" by my prices. (This is the first time they were paying full price). The bill was was for 6 hours a week (with 4 additional hours of company for free) and came to $816 for 18 weeks of dance. It is 4 and a half months....so it is only $7.50 per hour.... not to mention the free company. She signed a contract for company that she understood that she had to be taking class at the school. Does she think that because she is a lead that I would back off. Should I confront her...or let it wait until February where I am getting dreadfully close to the show??????? I am so mad she hasn't said anything to me. I feel like an @$$ becuase I am hearing it from other people.

Confront! And do it now. Attitudes like that are like a 'virus' and we need to ferret them out and deal with them right away.

If the other students/dancers see that someone is getting away with something wrong, they will think that it is okay for them too . . . not good!

If this particular dancer truly loves dance, she'll be back. If not, you must have many other dancers to focus on. Continue to cultivate the love of dance in the younger ones and let the 'attitudes' hit the trail with a, "Best of luck to you."

I did confront her. She says that they are just rumors. That she doesn't know if they can afford classes, but that she has full intentions of continuing with dance. I told her that it was an odd rumor to hear from more than one person... she says she did confide in some friends that she didn't know what she was going to do about tuition. I am not giving her any more free classes; enough is enough. She wants everything for free. It's hard because she is talented, but I just can not do it anymore. if her own mother isn'nt willing to put the time and/or money out there to make sure she can take the class, neither am I. I am going to have to wait it out; but I am working on a back up plan just incase she bails on classes. It is horrible, but I think it is a ploy to try to get me to pay for them yet again. I am going to call her bluff, and go from there.
I agree that I need to concentrate on the younger ones. They are my favorite to teach, and they are the ones who will be here the longest from here on out. I am even rearranging my schedule to suit the younger ones more.
I love this vent forum....sorry if I sound like a winer....and have a wonderful Holiday Season!

what happens when you have a mother who didn't think a performance counted as a class time?

I really hate it when people don't bother to read the newsletters I hand out. For example, before the holidays I sent out a newsletter stating that classes would resume on January 3rd, which was yesterday. Apparently, only 3 people bothered to read that, and the rest assumed that because there was no school, there was no dance classes. I had 1 student show up for the 1st and 2nd class, none for the 3rd and 1 for the last class. Not only was it in the newsletter, but I told everyone that classes resumed the first Monday in January

Is it just me, or is it getting harder and harder to communicate with people?

I agree misschristie. It seems like no matter how often i tell the parents, or send notes home, THEY JUST DONT GET IT!

something i tried in this months newsletter. on the back page, just mixed in, nothing to make it stand out. i put a sentence that said,"mention that you read, dressing for winter, and recive $5 off your january monthly fees." we had a few mention it last night, but mondays r slow nights. so we will see how it goes. the whole point of it was to see how many people actually read the newsletter. although we did have 1 parent say "i read the newsletter about mentioning it, but i just wanted to let u know that i budgeted $45 for this month not $40 so i am paying the full price." umm ok whatever they say. LOL

Lidija
Do you mean that some one just didn't show up for a performance???

I agree about the newsletters. Do remember that sometimes the kids won't give the newsletters to the parents. I try to get all my parents' email addresses, and I email as much of the information a s I can. This saves on trash, and I am sure they got them.

Most of the schools around me follow the public school schedule...snow days too. I explain at registration that I DO NOT follow the schedule, I hand them a list of the only days for the school year that tehre are not classes and explain that it will not change.

Februaty and April vacations were similar to your first day back MissChristie.... Just about every class had 1 or 2 people in it... I usually try to do something extra fun...or for the older girls, I try to teach a brand new step and spend enough time on it that they can perfect it....and then use it in a combination the next week... this usually works to make people regret having missed class.
This probably seems mean, but it seems to work and helps them to understand the importance of attendance.

I know...isn't that great.... Or how about when you tell them to spread out and they all procede to clump together against the back wall. One of these days I think I might let them dance that way and see if they get the hint.

I work at a boarding school and they want me to develop their dance "program". First of all...they offer dance...I'm the only dance teacher...I'd hardly call it a dance program. Oh, and I'm supposed to create a dance program using a dance studio literally the size of a closet...It's great. I love it.

I love this thread.. The same things happens to me when I tell the girls to spread out, they all line up against the wall by the barre. I feel like I'm speaking a different language. I love how they stand still and look at me funny when I say line up in to fo accross the floor. We do this every week.