I just realized I come to this thread every monday night (or the next day, talking about monday night...).

Today I was super stressed, and I should have been.....well, I dunno. When I got there, I was talking to the teacher who taught the 1st graders before me. She was telling me how the SO had a specific song she wanted her to use, but has still not gotten it to her yet. It is MARCH. The recital is in MAY and this class has not started their dance yet.....b/c the SO will not get the music to this teacher. Yeah, smart.

My classes go ok.....at least the tap class is finally remembering their dance now. They should be fine for the recital.

Then we go into the costuming issue again with the SO for the high school/college hip hop class. If you've read my other post, 3 people in the class must wear different costumes - UGH. Ok, 14 people in the class.....9 will be wearing a goth/punk costume consisting of (basically) black pants and a red top....2 guys in all black costumes, and then she wanted the 3 oddball people to wear completely different costumes, a skirt - possibly purple...... I flat out said "No way!" I don't even teach the class, but I was just being honest..... the teacher of the hip hop class was around to, and I know she didn't want that, but she wasn't saying anything - so I spoke up for her. Eventually we found a costume that sort of cordinated (it is all black). I guess it's ok, but it will still be weird.... The So tells ME (yes me, not the teacher.... ) that she wants the guys and the 3 oddballs to dance together in part of the dance. Why she tells me this, I have no idea....The whole thing just stressed me out and my stomach was in knots during class.

One girl came to class, and just sat there b/c she was "having a bad day" Why did she come then? Dance or leave would have been my answer, but I wasn't the teacher..... another girl had to console her....another girl also didn't feel like dancing and sat out for some parts. What the heck! That wouldn't have been acceptable in my classroom!

This is truly awful, but I'm thinking I'm going to recruit some of the older dancers over to my own studio this fall...a couple of them I was friends with before this dance class anyways..... I've talked to some of them and they said they'd come.... I think they enjoy class when I teach, and the current teacher won't be around next year either so they might as well.

I was also stressed out b/c I was in a really scary car accident last night (obviously I am ok, but like I said - it was scary!) and telling everyone about it sort of got me riled up again. It was just a bad night

Omigod pushy parents! We have one woman who has forced us all to have her daughters at a level too high for them. One of them I teach for tap spends every lesson totally stressed out and then has mum on her back at home which makes her even more stressed. Im all for practising but really...
And kids. 'I forgot my tap shoes', 'i've never learnt this' (they always have), chewing gum, talking, lateness, attitude, thinking I'm their slave who should work unpaid!
One more thing...I AM NOT A BABYSITTER. Do not send your child in to her friend's class just because you can't be bothered to look after her.
OK rant over cheers that was most satisfying!!

I am so glad I found this site! I feel so much better now!

Parent's

* My class schedule goes from 2:30-9:30 pm every day and 9-6:00 on Saturdays occasionally I do have to go to the bathroom! I'm sorry it takes me 2 minutes out of class, could you please understand, that I'm human too? Last time I checked you don't always have your kid their on time every week. If you can make me wait, sometimes I can make you wait! I have to go to the bath room, what's your excuse?

* If you are going to whine about competition fees, costumes, and hotel costs, don't have your child join the competition team, I'm tired of listening to children whine all day and then have to hear you too, you knew what it was when your let your kid join, I hid nothing from you!

* If you can't be nice to other parents and children at the studio GO AWAY!

* Don't tell me what your child's next routine will be or what steps to put in their dance. I will give them what they are ready for when they are ready for it! You do pay me to teach them, if you can do it yourself, why are you here?

* Pay your child's bill so I can be paid!

* When I pick a costume for a routine don't question me, I picked it for a reason, there are more kids in class then just your child!

* If you bring babies to the studio when you come for your older child's class please take their diapers home with you! When I get 2 minutes to go to the bathroom I want to be able to breath while I'm in there!

* Leave me alone about studio policies! I didn't make them I only have to enforce them! Whine to the owner!

* When you drop your kids off after school, for the night, don't tell me to make sure their homework is done! I have my own kid to worry about and I'm not that kind of teacher!

* Actually expect your child to take responsibilty for what they do at the studio! If you pay for class, expect them to work and remember what they are taught!

* Don't let your girl dress like a "skeeze" for class it's disrespectful to me, the other students And common misconception "all boys who dance are gay" so they won't look at my kids boobs, WRONG! Some of them do get distracted by breasts and butts hanging out, even the gay one's! Please teach then to repect their bodies and raise young ladies. Whatever happened to that?


Students

* If you say you want to be a dancer, look, dress and act like one. Don't eat like a pig and come dressed like a slob!

* Shut up in class! I'm violent at this point! I don't want to know what you and your boyfriend did last night, I don't care if your dog ran away or your neighbor's were outside sleigh riding ing when you left for class! DANCE!

* To reiterate: 5 6 7 8 DANCE! Go, Go, Go! That means you!

* Why when I bring in a master teacher can you dance full out all class and be quiet and respectful, but when it's me the one who taught you how to dance every day of your life you treat me like S*&t!

* When I give you a new step in your routine remember it for the next week! I give 87 new steps a week it's not my dance to perform it's yours! Know it!

* Bring your music for your solo to class every week! I'm a dancer not a singer and I don't want to sing your song for you.

* Bring ALL your shoes with you, not just the one's for the dance you want to practice, maybe I had a different idea about what you needed to work on!

* DON'T ROLL YOUR EYES AT ME WHEN I GIVE YOU A CORRECTION!!! It makes me want to slap your little heads off! If I tell you your doing something wrong, I'm not lying you really are!

* Don't correct other kids in class! When you know it all I'll let you know! and that will be never! Even teachers take time to continue learning.

* Don't tell me how to choreograph a dance or teach a class. I'm pretty sure I know how to do my job after 15 years!

* If you can't do a split, STRETCH! It actually does help, go figure!And if you don't want to stretch don't complain to me about not having your splits down! I can do mine, not my problem, I'm not coming to your house every day to make sure your stretching more then 1-2 /week.


WOW, Have to stop there! I could keep going and going like the energizer bunny! That's the first time I've ever had the chance to get that off my chest! FEELS GREAT!

OMG...I love this site. I wish I could read everyone's comments, but I feel everyone's pain. I think parents are worse than students. I know that my mother WOULD NEVER let me go to a dance or baton class without my hair in a bun and a leotard on. She would tell me right before I went to class that if the teacher had to tell me to me to be quiet, even once, that she would eventually find out and I would be grounded. Students DO NOT have much discipline these days. And to make matters worse, when I try to give them some discipline, I just get blamed for being mean. GRR!!!

hi to all dance teachers.

Well I enjoyed reading these threads. Nice to see some of you venting. WOW there is some wickedly funny venting. SOme made me giggle. Some made me gasp in disbelief but in general the wat it all came over was good.

Keep venting guys.


Sam mum of two dancers.

as a parent my hate is pre madonna parents!!!! I think you all know wat that means.

Okay, I think I can top that. My biggest, hugest pet peeves are people who go to recitals with ulterior motives. Like to promote a political agenda. Or just to take pictures. It's one thing when a member of the media, or a performer's friend or relative takes non-flash photography. But when some guy who isn't with the press and isn't known by any of the dancers starts snapping away, that gives me the creeps. As for the political agenda promotion, not only is it a completely inappropriate thing to do at a dance recital, but I could not allow it anyway, as my school is required by a number of laws and regulations to be apolitical. It doesn't help that the parasites who try to use my recital as an opportunity to promote their agenda hold such ideologies that represent a threat to my dancers.

I don't ask much. The studio i work in usually provides all the costumes for performances etc and I really keep costs to a minimum. I asked that the dancers/parents purchase rhinestone earrings and chokers for a recital piece and they are already complaining about the cost. I tried to tell them that this is something I do use over and over in so many pieces.

It's so hard sometimes.

I LOVE THIS PAGE!!

I will be posting my vent very soon. It's good not to be alone in my frustration.

I teach adults for the most part. My gripe.... getting paid. Not by the students, so far they have paid their fees on time every time. The studio owner has not paid me in five months, nor has she offered me an explanation or solution.
She's going through a rough period right now with divorce, family members that died or were injured, trouble making the bills ya da yada the list goes on. I totally understand, but when an adult business woman goes through such a crisis period she still needs to make sure her business is being run smoothly. Appoint someone to take over for a while. At the very least be honest and up front with the teachers. Don't take advantage of us and don't play that old childs game of seeing how long the other person will keep their mouth shut and take it. It's just rude and immature.

I've written to her about these issues, but she has chosen not to respond thus far. Tonight is the first class I'll have since having written to her so I'm nervous about going to the studio, but whatever happens happens. If I lose my job there so be it, I wasn't being paid anyway. If I lose the troupe member we picked up there, so be it. I was being taken advantage of and my students were being harmed in the process.

She didn't order our leotards and we need those for the recital, she didn't tell me about it for two months so now we may not have them and not be able to dance. She didn't include my students in the closing dance procession and during our troupe meetings we get shuffled around so the cleaning lady can do her thing. Troupe meetings are something we pay for as I'm the director of a belly dance troupe and we need rehearsal space.

I might lose my job and the new member tonight we might lose being in the recital and we may lose a total 300 between all of us in fundraising money, recital money and my back pay, but I guess I've learned a lesson.

WOw! 5 months is crazy. second week and I would have been telling her to pay up or plan on coming to teach. Don't lose any more time with her. You will forever be her kicking post. She'll pay up... assuming she needs you as a teacher.
Good luck.
Any way my vent is my husband.... This is a rarity because he is usually so amazing. He just doesn't get it that I have a show to prepare for in june. It is the studios first public show, and I am nervous... very nervous, and he is just unrealistic about the time it requires. I am actually on line right now, because I am so mad at him, and don't want to have to deal with it....:(

Hi Tiptaptam,
I can totally identify with your stress levels-I produced my first big show with 400 kids last December. My boyfriend, who is the most supportive boyfriend in the world, didn't really understand why I was so stressed. However, looking back there are two main reasons why our beloveds don't get it...First, they (at least in my case) are not dancers and know very little about theatre, so there is a lack of understanding of just how much you have on your mind (planning costumes, changing room plans, quick changes, organising parent helpers...I could go on for hours). Next, and I only realised this afterwards-they don't think we should be so stressed because they have complete faith in our capabilities. Your husband knows you well enough to know that you can do it and it wil all be fine. If you believe that too you will find your stress levels dropping! Hope it all goes well, good luck with the show!:)

It was like you were reading the thoughts in my head exactly. Nice to know others go through the same thing too...

HK

Recital gripes: When I don't get enough advance notice about who all needs backstage passes. When we arrive to find the theater a shambles. When the house crew either doesn't show up, claims to have never received technical notes (even though I'd sent them 20 emails worth of notes), or does little more besides upsetting performers, parents, and other crew members. When the videographer doesn't show up. And to top it all off, when my husband and I bust our tails filling in for the videographer, recruiting last-minute volunteers, cleaning up the theater, setting up equipment that was supposed to already by ready for us, and trying to prevent fights from breaking out among the backstage workers, in addition to the duties we'd already taken on, and we get blamed for everything that other people did wrong, even though the show went smoothly despite all that.

The students:
-Coming there in their jeans and dressed up to go out to dance with their friends at the 11-15 year disco after class. Choose another day or use some more time after your class to look good.
-Your personal life is not my problem
-Keep quiet and don't climb things that aren't properly fastened(word?) to the wall
-Tell me when you have to go to the toilet, don't just run out
-Don't chew gum in class. If your doing a cartwheel and was choked during class because of chewing gum, it's not my fault. You know this!
-Mobile phones are to be shut off because they're disturbing
-When I say you can drink you can have a small pause. But you can always keep your bottle beside you.. Filled with water! Not Coca Cola, but water!
-Please don't come to class when you're sick. I haven't had any of the children diseases, and I don't intend to either!
-Tell me if your hurt, or if you can't do it because of injury in the startof class. Just don't sit there without giving me a proper reason.
-Tell me if you have to attend a soccer match because your on the team.
-Don't spend the class showing off your new purse, makeup etc. You go to school together, and can fo it there!
-Don't yell at the other students or corrct them. I'm paid for doing the corrections and the choreography. If it's to difficult I wouldn't ahve put it in your routine in the first place!

Parents:
Not much here, but please tell me if you think I'mdoing something wrong or if the children don't enjoy their classes, because the people running the business won't tell me! They only talk about problems in general and not to the teacher it's about.

At competitions:
-When I'm a judge, i'm a judge. I wont give you any higher scores if your my student. And I wont if you ask me either. I do my job and hopefully the results are right.
-Don't mix up how you add the scores (please, is (D+A)/2 + (E*2) so hard to understand?
-Please don't run in front of the judges table! it's disturbing!
-Don't talk when your doing the group routine, because i'll have to take points off you whenever you do it! And I've already told you!
-I'm not lending you my costumes or apparatus unless you've asked me some days before. I may need it when you want it. if i'm going out on the carpet to perform my ball routine in some minutes, you will not be able to talk to me or lend anything from me before it. (Yes, that was a student thing, just had to add)..
-I'm not talking to you during a routine when I'm judging either. Do it either before or after a routine or in the pause!
-The results aren't entirely my responsibility. And if your daughter didn't win when she's normally the best, it's maybe because she didn't do anything in my classes the last two times either, only when I told you to. And because she fell and dropped her apparatus three times.
-If I want to see your daugther as "Carmen", please buy her a red or black leotard. Not blue or pink! Music-movement-leotard.. Do you understand?

I'm sick of one of my classes acting like they're forced to come dancing! I felt like screaming at them the other night "WHY ARE YOU HERE?!" But i just took a deep breath and taught them anyway.
Just sending out a letter for the new term saying i want commitment and respect as that is what i show them. All other classes are fine. I know it's just their age and the work load they have from school, but most of these girls want to go into dance as a career. They are in for a mighty big shock when they get out there!!

I've just had a parent complain that I won't let her daughter take her modern exam this summer. First, the child is totally unreliable-sometimes turns up, sometimes doesn't, sometimes works hard, sometimes can't be bothered at all. When I asked her if she wanted to take her exam she said no. Three weeks later I get a complaint from the mother who wants to know why she cant do it. I tell her (trying to be diplomatic here...) that her daughter lacks strength because she doesnt do ballet (The alternative "she's a lazy little s#*! " tends not to go down too well...). Anyway the mother said she was OK with that, then yesterday she goes complaining to my boss about me. Now I am organising exams for 90 kids at the moment and trying to coach them all up to exam standards, so the lazy kids who want a certificate but don't want to work causing a fuss was the last thing I needed! I'm so tired and fed up of it all. GRRRR !!!!! Rant over feel better now. On the plus side all my kids who are taking exams are trying really hard so that makes me happy!

ugh icebunny!!! My thoughts would be to let them waste their money and time on the exam if they really want, and when she doesn't pass THEN both the student and parent will realize she is not cutting it in the classroom.

The trouble is I think it looks so bad on me as a teacher if the kids don't do well. So I would just end up giving her loads of extra help (we dont get paid for this). Does anyone else have this dilemma?

Ice bunny,
I feel for you. I have that same conscience. My family constantly says that it does not reflect on me as a teacher, but on the student.... but I completely disagree. The student isn't going to own up to slacking off... she may even embellish how hard she has been working with you; which then really puts it on you.

I am at a low and a high right now. Very mixed feelings about this job. I can not get the kids to commit to dance. I have about ten kids applying for the scholarship, none of which put dance first of their after school activities. The two or three who do put it first, aren't applying because they don't think they need it as much as so and so.... and because a couple of these applicants cry poverty openly, and are well liked, the students who are friends with them keep asking me why their friend didn't get it last year.... and could I consider them this coming year. One girl actually asked me if she could apply for it and then give it to her friend (her friend who does 10 things that all cost money... and misses every 5th class). I just don't get it. Why should I pay for them to take dance so they can pay someone else to do another activity?
I pretty much want to forget about the scholarship; I feel like it has just created a nightmare. I have one parent who "can't afford to sign their very talented daughter up for more than one class a week", so she isn't keeping up with the kids in her class and then she asks for extra help... not a private lesson mind you... just extra help of 15-20 minutes here and there.... I of course look like a jerk if I say no... my husband says that I need to look at her and say, "you can sign up for a private lesson".... now the real slap in the face.... she is about to miss a week of classes because her father has already prepaid for a $500 fishing trip that he wants to take her on. She has been dancing for two years, so he knows the costs and the commitment... She was in tears that she didn't want to miss class..... but he is making her go... HELLO.... spend the $500 dollars on that second class that she wants to take instead of pushing what you like on her! He also pays for her to play basketball and softball... all of which make her miss random classes... but they are applying for the scholarship....

There are parents who think that they should not have to buy a ticket for the company's performance... it's their child who they pay to take dance, why should they have to pay to see them. Now, rehearsals are seperate from class, and I do not get paid to do rehearsals... do they think I got the theatre, programs, advertisement, tickets all for free.... Don't people know the value of things any more?

This is all at the same time as all of these parents exclaim how much less expensive I am than the other schools in the area and that they don't know how I afford to stay open .... ummmmmmm, got news for all of them, I am pushing a burn out. I am affording it by working 70-80 hours/week for about $23,000 annual income... in an area where most people live off 30-40 grand (and only work 40 hours!).

I feel bipolar, cause I feel like I am about to burn out and just stop all together and then I start teaching the classes and I feel like there is nothing I would rather be doing and I just love it so much.

The high.... I think I can afford to get a bigger studio! Right now I am in a 900 square foot space that includes my office, changing room and the bathroom.... so any little bit will help. I have found some people to rent the space when I am not using it, so hopefully I won't go broke.

Yeah! Of course this may mean raising my prices to be closer to the market.

I agree with all of you and ur issues! I am a new teacher...i have only been teaching for two years but already i have come to learn its not easy! I have mostly been an assistant to the studio owner but i also have a few classes and done many solos, duos etc. One thing about being an assistant is that i am there to ASSIST! NOT to run your class. I am not paid enough for you to walk off the dance floor and have a social hour with parents you are friends with and expect ME to continue the class. Then turn around and get angry when i am not doing something the way you want! DO IT YOURSELF. DONT! tell me that i spend to much time assisting those who dont get it or are having issues...THATS WHAT IM SUPPOSE TO DO BECAUSE YOU WONT! DONT email me telling me i am spending to much time choreographing solos for people. The reason why i spent the time is because i want it to be good for the kids...they pay me for a good dance...not a piece of garabage you give out in one hour! Your gaining money so whats it to you! I think i love it the most when i get an email asking me what i was doing at the studio from this time to this time. TEACHING WHAT ELSE! no..i like to hang out there on my off time sitting in the middle of the dance floor staring at myself in the mirror. GIVE ME A BREAK! Apparently i am to nice of a dance teacher...the kids like me to much its not healthy...sorry but are you running a military school?! Last time i checked recreational classes were FUN not for discipline! Oh and one more thing, dont talk behind my back, if you dont like the way i do things come to m face and tell me. This might come as a suprise to you but the other teachers and i do speak and i do hear things! Appreciate us as teachers, we are what keeps your studio a-float and you dont give a rats bum about us!



Students:

- Dont tell me when someone else screws up...i am a dance teacher which means i have eyes in the back of my head...i already saw it!

- Come to class with ur hair up, shoes on and dance clothes. I dont care if your shirt looks pretty, i care if you can move in it!

- Older students: This is a dance class...not a beauty contest! Leave your expensive makeup at home and be prepaired to mess up your hair and sweat! If your mascara runs from the sweat then GOOD!

- Older students con't: This is a dance class not a beach COVER UP! Your new thong may look great but i dont wanna see it.

- Dont give me attitude. I am only 18 years old but im paid to tell you what to do so listen or leave!

- Stop staring at yourselves in the mirror! You waste my time by not listening and hold up the class.

- Dont argue with me when i give you a correction...you did it wrong so deal with it and fix it!

- Come to class ON TIME. I start at 8 so be there at 7:50 ready to go.

- Dont come to every class with a broken hip, sprained ankle, bruised knee and dislocated shoulder. I understand when you are hurt sometimes but EVERY CLASS is a bit extreme. If you cant dance it then WATCH and dont bother the rest of the class...they came to actually dance! but hey its ur parents money not mine!

- When i call an extra practice..its not because its fun for me to be at the studio on a friday night (trust me) but its because i feel you need more work so suck it up and deal with it because i cant go out with my friends either!



Parents:

- I dont care how much u think ur kid is amazing, they will NOT be in the front the whole time.

- Dont tell your kids what to do during class. Guess what...this may suprise most parents but...IM THE TEACHER! what a shock...maybe i actually know what im doing and can correct your kid myself thanks...if u have an issue with that...ill leave and u can take over!

- Dont call me telling me your kid cant make competition because of something else two days before. The comp. times are sent out months in advance so that issues can be worked out then not NOW!

- DONT GOSSIP! A dance studio is a community for dancers to develop this skills, flourish, make friends, do what they love. I dont care if you hate jenny and her mom because she wins everything...KEEP IT TO YOURSELF!



Woah...ive only just started but i feel great! Thanks guys!

Sometimes i just want to give up. All my costume recommendations were shot down in favor of really boring and plain costumes (i'm talking t-shirts and shorts - yech). I have one Mom who has become overbearing and almost rude. She gives corrections to the kids while they are dancing!

I just want to give it up sometimes. Maybe the dance world is just not for me. I can't stand to see kids who rarely even come to class get plum roles while those that are there day in and day out.... well you know. IT just seems wrong somehow. I'm so tired.

idance...dont give up! I know its super hard sometimes and you just want to run away screaming. I am having the same issues as you but you cant leave the kids who come in day in and day out because they are the ones who will achieve great things in the long term. There sassy kids who are getting everything they want now for little work will one day see its not always like that. Its sad to see you so upset but you cant give up. Dont worry about those parents...you know what i say...get out there and start your own! not easy but you will be much happier.

About costumes...lay down the law...your the teacher...its your vision and when you say you want a costume...then thats what they are going to be wearing on stage...if i didnt do that then nothing would ever work!

About the mom...talk to the owner of the studio and see what she says...maybe ask her to send out a newsletter of something...Parent behaviour in the studio...

Just what i think but Goodluck!

thanks twinkletoes

Like ASATeacher , my VENT is that there are parents in the teachers only section!!!!!!!
This is a teachers only thread.....that dos not include parents of kids who dance.

Oh my god,I have the best situation. I have a jr jazz class, and my assistant was leading progressions acros the floor, when she told a student not to watch the floor.(She always looks down, and the mom has been made aware of it) Another parent was observing the class and felt the assistant was too harsh in correcting the problem. Yes the child was embarrassed to be singled out and was upset. The observing parent tried to make the situation better in her mind by talking to the child which then caused the child to start crying at the exact moment her parebt walked in. Class ends and the assistant makes me aware of what happened at the beginning of class because she is afraid the parent of the embarrassed child will be mad at her. The parent of the embarrassed child calls and wants to know what happened and i explained what the assistant had told me. She then told me what the observing parent's version was(completely skewed by the way i.e. yelling and swearing). So I had the receptionist send a letter telling the observing parent to please refrain from getting involved in studio matters and if she had any concerns with her child's dance education she needed to address me. Well I then received a phone call saying how inappropriate the letter was and she was pulling her child out and wanted her money refunded(for the whole year) and she was going to the Better Business Bureau. I called her back and told her that her child was not the issue and that if she really wanted to pull her child it was her decision but she would not receive a refund for classes her daughter attended. I'm still waiting 2 weeks later for this girl to show back up to class or find out if I have to change the choreography 8 weeks before the end of the year. UHHH!!!