We need:
Claire
Danny
DJ
Stephanie
Jesse
Joey
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Ok...First...at the beginning of every episode of course we need to have this song:
Beginning Credit:
Whatever happened to predictability.
The milkman, the paperboy, evening TV?
How did I get delivered here?
Somebody tell me please!
This old world's confusing me.
Clouds as mean as you've ever seen
Ain't a bird who knows your tune.
Then a little voice inside you Whispers,
"Don't sell your dreams" , so soon
Everywhere you look,
everywhere you look (there's a heart)
A hand to hold on to.
Everywhere you look
everywhere you look (there's a face of)
Somebody who needs you.
Everywhere you look.
When you're lost out there & you're all alone.
A knight is waiting to carry you home.
Everywhere you look
(End Credit)
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This episode is called: Our Very First Show (Pilot)
We find Claire Tanner, Danny, DJ, & Stephanie in the front room. Claire is about to leave…
Claire Tanner: If you need me, I’m on the next plane.
Danny: Aw, thank you, mom.
Claire: Ok.
DJ & Stephanie: Bye, Grandma.
Danny: Bye, mom.
Claire: Bye.
DJ & Stephanie: Bye.
Claire: O, my angels!
Stephanie: Grandma, don’t leave!
Claire: I love you. Goodbye, sweetheart.
Stephanie: Goodbye, grandma.
Claire: Bye. Bye.
DJ, Steph, Danny: Bye
Claire: leaves
Danny: Ok! Are we going to have fun or what? (DJ & Stephanie frown) Hey, hey, hey! Let’s see some smiles. Everything is going to work out super great. Your uncle Jesse is moving in; my best friend Joey is moving in, & you know what that means…That means that you 2 are going to get to be roommates. Isn’t that exciting?
Stephanie: I can wear all DJ’s clothes!
DJ: Do I have to share my room w/ her?
Danny: Honey, it’s going to be just like having a slumber party.
DJ: Yeah, w/ only 1 guest…who never leaves!
Jesse enters
Jesse: Hey! Look alive! Uncle Jesse’s here!
DJ & Stephanie: Uncle Jesse!
Jesse: (imitating the girls) Uncle Jesse! (in his normal voice) All right! Hello! DJ, how you doing? That tooth come in yet?
DJ: Nah.
Jesse: That’s ok; 1 less to brush.
Danny: Hey, Jesse!
Jesse: Danno!
Danny: You missed breakfast; where have you been?
Jesse: I know; sorry. Last night, after my gig at the smash club, I go for a cruise on my Harley, right? Next thing I know, I’m in Reno. It was dark…who would have known? Then, I happened to wander into this show, Razzle Dazzle ’87...much better than Razzle Dazzle ’86, by the way. & I see this incredible showgirl Vanessa, right? Our eyes meet. (Danny looks at the girls, concerned at what they might be hearing) Ba-boom, this lightning bolt of passion shoots across the casino. Turns out, Vanessa is on her way to the Philippines to do a Bob Hope special, & is dying for 1 last night of good old American…
Danny: Food, food! She was hungry, right?
Jesse: O yeah. She was starving. Only we never got a chance to, uh, “eat,” because she had to turn her feathers in.
Stephanie: Uncle Jesse, let’s play Ballerina.
Jesse: Uncle Jesse doesn’t want to play ballerina.
Stephanie: Yes he does…
Jesse: No he doesn’t…
Stephanie: Yes he does…
Jesse: No he doesn’t!
Stephanie: (pretending to cry) Yes he does.
Jesse: How do you play ballerina?
Stephanie: Dance!
Jesse: Ok, that was fun.
Joey enters carrying a pile of laundry, & makes a noise, imitating a trumpet
DJ: Hi, Joey.
Joey: Hi, Danny.
Danny: O, Joey, buddy. This is the best; you’re moving in! (Danny takes the pile of laundry from Joey)
Joey: Thanks, Danny. This works out so perfect. I move into a place w/ a washing machine on the exact day I run out of clean clothes…(Danny drops the pile of laundry, which he now knows to be dirty)…Jesse, long time no see. Now be honest. Did you ever think we’d end up being roommates?
Jesse: Not once.
Joey: I love this guy. Danny, there’s no way all my stuff will fit into a room this tiny.
Danny: Joey, this is not a tiny room. This is a large alcove. In fact, this is a large alcove that you’re living in for free.
Joey: You know, now that I take a close look at it, it’s enormous…‘enormous…‘enormous…We are gonna have so much fun, aren’t we, kids? (imitates Popeye’s laugh)
DJ: Do you think we could catch grandma at the airport?
Danny & Jesse are walking in the upstairs hallway. They enter Jesse’s new room…
Danny: Nice, huh? Roomy. (Jesse looks at the pink bunnies on the wall) Not overly masculine.
Jesse: O golly, it’s swell. You know what would look great over here by the window? Barbie’s dream house.
Danny: We’ve got 1. Look, Jesse, I just want you to know that having you & Joey here really means a lot to me. Just knowing somebody’s here who cares about the girls. You know, they’re so happy you’re here. O, God bless you! (Danny hugs Jesse)
Jesse: You’re hugging me in a room w/ pink bunnies.
Danny: O, sorry. I’m an emotional guy. Ok, let’s face it. I’m a lean, mean, hugging machine.
Jesse: Ok. Danny, listen; Pam was my big sister, & I loved her very much, & I love your kids, & I’m happy to do what I can. (Danny hugs Jesse again) Aah, you’re hugging me again. Now listen; you & me, we’ll sit down; we’ll set aside a special time for hugging. But not now. (Jesse opens the closet, & sees that the closet rack is too low) O great, I live in Webster’s room!
