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Have you been abused? how to recognize it and help others. (karma: 20)
By snackcakemember has saluted, click to view salute photos Comments: 644, member since Sun Sep 12, 2004
On Wed Jul 19, 2006 04:54 AM
Made sticky by Theresa (28613) on 2006-07-23 20:47:18

Have you or someone you know been the victim of abuse? Or do you suspect abuse in your family or someone esles?

You should know that abuse in families can take on many forms such as physical, emotional, sexual, verbal and neglect

Some people do not know how to recognize that they are or have been abused. It is especialy hard to recognize it if youhave grown up being abused or lived with it for many years.


DESCRIPTIONS OF FORMS OF ABUSE:


Physical abuse is often the most obvious form of abuse. It may be any kind of hitting, shaking, burning, pinching, biting, choking, throwing, whipping, paddling, beating, and other actions that cause physical injury, leave marks, or produce significant physical pain.


Sexual abuse is any type of sexual contact between an adult and child or between a significantly older child and a younger child. If a person is abused by a member of his or her immediate family, this is called incest.


Emotional abuse can be difficult to pin down because there are no physical signs to look for. Sure, people yell at each other, express anger, and call each other names sometimes, and expressing anger can sometimes be healthy. But emotional abuse generally occurs when the yelling and anger go too far or when a parent constantly belittles, threatens, or dismisses a child until the child's self-esteem and feelings of self-worth are damaged. And just like physical abuse can cause physical scars, emotional abuse can bring about emotional damage.


Neglect is probably the hardest type of abuse to define. Neglect occurs when a child doesn't have adequate food, housing, clothes, medical care, or supervision. Emotional neglect happens when a parent doesn't provide enough emotional support or deliberately and consistently pays very little or no attention to a child. But it's not neglect if a parent doesn't give a kid something he or she wants, like a new computer or a cell phone.


Sigms of abuse


Signs of Physical abuse:


Has unexplained burns, bites, bruises, broken bones, or black eyes.

Has fading bruises or other marks noticeable after an absence from school.

Seems frightened of the parents and protests or cries when it is time to go home.

Shrinks at the approach of adults.

Reports injury by a parent or another adult caregiver.


Signs of Neglect:

Has unexplained burns, bites, bruises, broken bones, or black eyes.

Has fading bruises or other marks noticeable after an absence from school.

Seems frightened of the parents and protests or cries when it is time to go home.

Shrinks at the approach of adults.

Reports injury by a parent or another adult caregiver.



Signs of Sexual abuse:


Has difficulty walking or sitting.

Suddenly refuses to change for gym or to participate in physical activities.

Reports nightmares or bed wetting
.
Experiences a sudden change in appetite.

Demonstrates bizarre, sophisticated, or unusual sexual knowledge or behavior.

Becomes pregnant or contracts a venereal disease, particularly if under age 14.

Runs away.

Reports sexual abuse by a parent or another adult caregiver.

Consider the possibility of sexual abuse when the parent or other adult caregiver:

Is unduly protective of the child or severely limits the child's contact with other children, especially of the
opposite sex.
Is secretive and isolated.

Is jealous or controlling with family members.


Signs of Emotional abuse:


Shows extremes in behavior, such as overly compliant or demanding behavior, extreme passivity, or aggression.

Is either inappropriately adult (parenting other children, for example) or inappropriately infantile (frequently
rocking or head-banging, for example).
Is delayed in physical or emotional development.

Has attempted suicide.

Reports a lack of attachment to the parent.




What Should Someone Who's Being Abused Do?


If you or anyone you know is being abused, talk to someone you or your friend can trust - a family member, a friend, a trusted teacher, a doctor, or an adult who works with youth at school or in a place of worship. Many teachers and counselors, for instance, have training in how to recognize and report abuse.
Telephone directories list local child abuse and family violence hotline numbers that you can call for help. There's also Childhelp USA at (800) 4-A-CHILD ([800] 422-4453).

Know that there are others who will understand and help you deal and cope with what you have experienced. You do not deserve to be abused, no one does. So NEVER feel as though you hve done anything to deserve it. NO ONE DOES!!!!!!!

feel free to im me if you would like to talk in private. I am not new to this topic and will understand and not judge you.

26 Replies to Have you been abused? how to recognize it and help others.

re: Have you been abused? how to recognize it and help others. (karma: 1)
By dust2dustmember has saluted, click to view salute photos Comments: 4464, member since Wed Dec 07, 2005
On Thu Jul 20, 2006 04:57 PM
.... wow.
re: Have you been abused? how to recognize it and help others.
By wee_lucimember has saluted, click to view salute photos Comments: 377, member since Fri May 26, 2006
On Sun Jul 23, 2006 11:38 AM
That is really helpfull thanks for posting this
Im sure it will really help people
Karma for you
x-luci-x
re: Have you been abused? how to recognize it and help others.
By Breannemember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 2041, member since Sun May 08, 2005
On Sun Jul 23, 2006 07:33 PM
Edited by WEBA_Breanne (130338) on 2006-07-23 19:38:31
Excellet post. I vote sticky.
Perhaps you could include some other help numbers from other countires such as Canada and the UK because not everyone is from the US.
re: Have you been abused? how to recognize it and help others. (karma: 1)
By Shnaynaymember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 9967, member since Sat Aug 03, 2002
On Thu Jul 27, 2006 12:29 PM
That picture is so sad. :(

Thank you for posting this. I've been thinking about becoming a social worker once I graduate, and this is helpful information to be aware of.

Something I would like to add, that a social worker who came to talk to my child development class mentioned: A common form of child abuse is burning the child with boiling hot water, and the way that you can tell whether it's an accidental burn or not is by looking for what they call "sock and glove burns". If you burn yourself accidentally, you pull away immediately - but if your entire hands or entire feet are completely burned, and there is no sign of splashing, it's because someone has actually held the child's hands underwater, or forced them to stand in boiling water.

For some reason or another, there is a LOT of child abuse, and several cases of parents actually killing their children, in a relatively small town near my home. I don't know why it's so common in the one town, but it needs to stop.

peace out
sh'naynay
re: Have you been abused? how to recognize it and help others.
By snackcakemember has saluted, click to view salute photos Comments: 644, member since Sun Sep 12, 2004
On Thu Jul 27, 2006 09:28 PM
Oh my gosh, that is horrible to hear that a parent would kil their child. But then again it is terribly sad that A parent could purposly hurt their own child:( tear*
re: Have you been abused? how to recognize it and help others. (karma: 1)
By Earilmadithmember has saluted, click to view salute photos Comments: 201, member since Thu Apr 20, 2006
On Thu Jul 27, 2006 10:29 PM
A question: Does sexual abuse have to be between two people of significantly different age groups? I'd think there could be situations where a man could be sexually abusing his wife, or vice versa.

A few more possible symptoms of sexual abuse: Eating disorders (from a need to be in control of weight/eating/body), self-injury, PTSD symptoms such as flashbacks, and acting or thinking much more maturely than others of their age.
re: Have you been abused? how to recognize it and help others.
By snackcakemember has saluted, click to view salute photos Comments: 644, member since Sun Sep 12, 2004
On Fri Jul 28, 2006 04:41 PM
sexual abuse can happen to anyone, of any age group or age difference, male or famale.

Tahnkyou for ading more info as well, people need to be as aware of this as much as possible, if you find anything else, feel free to add it as well.
thanks.
re: Have you been abused? how to recognize it and help others. (karma: 1)
By Armwarmermember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 3108, member since Fri May 20, 2005
On Sat Aug 12, 2006 08:28 PM
Yeah, I was going to say that as well, sexual abuse can happen between any age group.

I also want to mention this: While it may be uncommon, emotional abuse can be seen physically. When somebody is being emotionally abused, they tend to be very stressed. And stress takes a toll on your body.

For me, high amounts of stress cause me to lose weight. For others it's gaining weight. My best friend's mother is divorced, and her ex-husband gives her a lot of crap. This woman had six children, and was THIN afterwards. But since her ex gives her trouble she's gained a LOT. I find this true for many women.

Otherwise, it's a really good post. Karma for you!

~*~Armmie~*~
Legwarmer+Armwarmer=Warm limbs :D
Are you new? Click here to get adopted by an older member!
re: Have you been abused? how to recognize it and help others. (karma: 1)
By sweetheartballetmember has saluted, click to view salute photos Comments: 255, member since Thu Jan 12, 2006
On Tue Aug 15, 2006 11:22 PM
^ ^ I agree. After my parents got divorced, my mom lost A LOT of weight. I'm not sure whether it was from being stressed, and upset and just not eating, or if she had developed anorexia. I was younger at the time, but I just remember it being extremely scary.

I also agree with whoever said that emotional abuse can have physical signs. A lot of people who are emotionally abused take on some form of self-injury, an eating disorder, or both in order to feel some control over thier situation.

This is a great post, and a great way to express the different forms of abuse so that people who are being abused are aware that it's NOT okay, and it's NOT normal behavior for osmeone to be treating them the way they are being treated.
re: Have you been abused? how to recognize it and help others.
By elisalovesyoumember has saluted, click to view salute photos Comments: 329, member since Thu Dec 22, 2005
On Fri Sep 22, 2006 05:29 PM
thankkyou for posting this. im sure its helped alot of people. Karma for you!!!
re: Have you been abused? how to recognize it and help others.
By mspointe Comments: 245, member since Fri Aug 05, 2005
On Wed Sep 27, 2006 09:51 PM
Armmie,

Great comments below. Some other physical conditions that can show up from extra stress being too high/much are the following:

skin breaking out all the sudden and big time
one's ezcema (sp) breaking more than usual or getting worse to where it causes the person to have to use topical steriods to get rid of it.

Getting stomach pains (i.e. hernias, ulcers, acid reflux flaring up)

Being more tired that usual (from not getting peaceful sleep)

hair loss

Heart problems (i.e. getting paltations and/or rapid heart beating), which can kill one.

Thanks again for such a wonderful post. I have sent you karma.

Ms. Pointe

~~~~


Yeah, I was going to say that as well, sexual abuse can happen between any age group.

I also want to mention this: While it may be uncommon, emotional abuse can be seen physically. When somebody is being emotionally abused, they tend to be very stressed. And stress takes a toll on your body.

For me, high amounts of stress cause me to lose weight. For others it's gaining weight. My best friend's mother is divorced, and her ex-husband gives her a lot of crap. This woman had six children, and was THIN afterwards. But since her ex gives her trouble she's gained a LOT. I find this true for many women.

Otherwise, it's a really good post. Karma for you!

~*~Armmie~*~
Legwarmer+Armwarmer=Warm limbs
Are you new? Click here to get adopted by an older member!
re: Have you been abused? how to recognize it and help others.
By mspointe Comments: 245, member since Fri Aug 05, 2005
On Wed Sep 27, 2006 09:53 PM
Love your icon. It goes perfectly with the topic at hand. Karma sent.

Ms. Pointe

~~~~ ``

By elisalovesyou Comments: 227, member since Thu Dec 22, 2005

On Fri Sep 22, 2006 05:29 PM


thankkyou for posting this. im sure its helped alot of people. Karma for you!!!
re: Have you been abused? how to recognize it and help others.
By mspointe Comments: 245, member since Fri Aug 05, 2005
On Wed Sep 27, 2006 09:54 PM
Thanks for starting a very much needed topic. Karma sent.

Ms. Pointe.
re: Have you been abused? how to recognize it and help others.
By bubbles23 Comments: 815, member since Sun Jul 17, 2005
On Sun Oct 08, 2006 04:17 PM
wow. thank you for this. im sure this will come in handy someday.
Have you been abused? how to recognize it and help others.
By gods_devil Comments: 21, member since Mon Oct 02, 2006
On Wed Oct 18, 2006 12:01 PM
Thank you so much for posting!!Karma for you!!
Have you been abused? how to recognize it and help others
By REDZ Comments: 73, member since Tue May 09, 2006
On Wed Oct 25, 2006 07:48 AM
Thankyou so much for posting this it will be a great help to alot of people. This is something that really does need alot of atention.
Redz
re: Have you been abused? how to recognize it and help others.
By RoyaleBallerina Comments: 98, member since Thu Jul 05, 2007
On Mon Jul 23, 2007 02:02 PM
so for emotional abuse the child or children could be bossing the other siblings around, or telling them everything they do wrong???
re: Have you been abused? how to recognize it and help others.
By mandadances Comments: 441, member since Wed May 02, 2007
On Mon Jul 23, 2007 10:55 PM
Karma!

RoyaleBallerina wrote:

so for emotional abuse the child or children could be bossing the other siblings around, or telling them everything they do wrong???

If it had a very negetive impact on the childs emotions then i suppose.
re: Have you been abused? how to recognize it and help others.
By RoyaleBallerina Comments: 98, member since Thu Jul 05, 2007
On Tue Jul 24, 2007 07:49 AM
ok thanks!
re: Have you been abused? how to recognize it and help others.
By BeckyP2 Comments: 411, member since Thu Jun 10, 2004
On Thu Aug 09, 2007 09:14 AM
Emotional abuse doesn't just have to be parent and child related either. It can also occur within other relationships as well. I dated someone who was extremely abusive and it took me awhile(three years) to figure out that's what it was. It was only after a good friend mentioned that she had just taken a class on it that it became more obvious. He was extremely good at manipulating. He was very hot tempered as well. It got to a point where I was afraid to even help out around his house without fear of being yelled at for this or that(being called incompetent or belittled in some way). Luckily I got out of that before the relationship became even more serious.

Physical abuse stems from emotional abuse as well. A person doesn't hit a child, a husband doesn't hit his wife without first degrading her and making her feel badly. Usually even after the physical scars have healed, there are still emotional scars to deal with.

Just wanted to add that.
re: Have you been abused? how to recognize it and help others.
By ilovechelseamember has saluted, click to view salute photos Comments: 1247, member since Fri May 25, 2007
On Sat Aug 11, 2007 07:22 PM
Wow...this picture just portrays so much emotion. Brilliant!
re: Have you been abused? how to recognize it and help others.
By dancingprincess4 Comments: 95, member since Wed Aug 15, 2007
On Sun Sep 16, 2007 08:01 PM
thank you so much for all of this info. I hope it will help people who find themselves in these terrible situations...
re: Have you been abused? how to recognize it and help others.
By dancing_kitkat Comments: 1678, member since Wed Jul 25, 2007
On Fri Dec 28, 2007 12:57 PM
thanks alot for this info i am sure it will help alot of people help others or themselves.
X evie X
re: Have you been abused? how to recognize it and help others.
By nicinoodlemember has saluted, click to view salute photos Comments: 1283, member since Sun May 06, 2007
On Mon Jul 07, 2008 12:48 PM
karma for you!
what a brilliant post, vey thoughtful and must of took alot of time, very helpful. hope it helps at least one person! hopefully more!
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