Forum: Advice / GLBT PG-13

Enmity- An essay (might be kind of mature but that's a matter of judgement)
By Eninajmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Sun Sep 03, 2006 04:53 AM

Anyways tonight I was working on my college apps and well I'm not sure if this is the right place to be asking of input, but I wanted to share it because it's about an experience I had with someone being hateful, yeah. anyways it's kind of all explained in the essay. I just wanted to kind of explain what it was, and...yeah. I welcome comments about it, and I was actually hoping if someone could tell me if it was too serious for my college app, or if it sounded too whiney or awww look at me someone hated me once. here it is:

Enmity

Summer vacation is generally a time of rest and relaxation. But, the summer after 10th grade I found myself in a place where no normal high school student wanted to be, summer school. The first few weeks flew by quickly, and painlessly, with no real life changing events taking place. It got to mid-July and my best friend’s birthday rolled around, and as customary with our group of friends we held a party complete with music, cake, laughing, talking, and dancing. The weekend after the party we stood on the quad of our high school during the 15-minute break we were provided everyday. Naturally with the excitement of the weekend our conversation drifted to the party, and the wacky things that took place. “What about that dance?” someone mentioned. I looked to my friend and laughed remembering the line dance we had performed for the guests. I stepped back from the crowd and began the steps, slowly at first getting my bearings on the un-even grass, and then faster to the speed of the music playing in my head. Someone started singing the music, and my friend began to dance with me. We got through several rounds of the dance when she stopped dancing and stepped back to watch me. My friends were laughing, and I was laughing, and then from behind me someone shouted, “Stop dancing Dyke!” I didn’t stop, instead I ignored him, after all my mother had always taught me to never show that teasing bothered me, because that’s what the teaser wanted. I looked at my friends, none of them appeared to have heard it too, and so I kept going, if they were entertained everything was okay. But, then it came again. “Stop dancing Dyke!” Anger boiled up inside me, no not just anger. Rage. I stopped dancing, and turned to the offensive person who stood somewhere in the mass of people behind me. The group of snickering boys gave away the culprit. The other boys nudged one on the shoulder as if in victory, congratulating him for getting a rise out of me. Before I could censor myself words came flying out of my mouth. “Yeah, do you have a problem with it?” I almost yelled back, but I didn’t feel any regret for speaking those words.
I couldn’t comprehend why there was so much enmity in the world, even in my own high school. I didn’t understand how those boys expected to be accepted for what they thought was cool, or normal. Especially when they were the ones who were so against someone else’s opinions on the same things, that they felt the need to shout something so derogatory at a person they didn’t even know. Maybe it was my own confusion that caused me to react so violently. So many people question their sexuality at that age, and I just happened to be one of those uneasy ones. I often found myself asking the question, “Could I be gay?” And if I were, why would someone insult me because of who I am?
Hate is something that everyone has experienced in their life even if they don’t recognize it then as hateful. How many times have you seen people laughing at the mentally retarded kid because he’s just a little off, people being teased, or being called names? Or even worse, how many times have you done it yourself? There isn’t a day that goes by at my school where I don’t hear someone refer to something they don’t like as “gay”. In the minds of many teenagers, and other young adults today, using words like gay, and retarded to refer to something they think is stupid has become normal, and accepted. In the minds of many of today’s young adults words like gay, and retarded are starting to be associated with stupidity, and things they don’t like.
I used to think the hate I experienced was all due to stupidity on the boys’ part, because they must have been stupid if they were to have said something like that. It would be a lie to say that I don’t still think the boys’ actions were stupid, but my interpretation of their stupidity has changed. In my mind I wanted to believe that the boys were just un-intelligent, because I didn’t want to accept that people were so cruel hearted. If they were merely un-intelligent I couldn’t blame it on their own personal will; people can’t help it if they’re stupid. It is particularly in this way my personal opinions on the boys’ motives for doing it have changed. To me it wasn’t a matter of un-intelligence and stupidity, but stupidity of closed-mindedness, and willful ignorance. The boys’ minds, perhaps clouded by their beliefs, or unable to comprehend my actions, because they didn’t know me, turned against me, and they reacted in the only way their minds thought was right. Perhaps they saw me dancing with my female friend, and their beliefs say that what I was doing was wrong. Maybe they didn’t understand why I would want to dance in such a public place, and not knowing me, and my personality, made an uneducated judgment about me. It’s quite possible, that I’ll never truly know the boy’s real motives for yelling such a thing at me, but I am content to never find out the truth only because if it weren’t for the boy, and his hateful comments, I wouldn’t be able accept people as wholly as I do now.

Eninaj

2 Replies to Enmity- An essay (might be kind of mature but that's a matter of judgement)

re: Enmity- An essay (might be kind of mature but that's a matter of judgement)
By babigirl14
On Tue Sep 05, 2006 11:15 AM
That's an great essay, because it talks about a time where you question the ways of people. I've often been the target of close mindedness, and I've just learned to analyze and grow from the experience. You did a great job of showing that in the essay!
re: Enmity- An essay (might be kind of mature but that's a matter of judgement)
By pinktutu
On Wed Sep 13, 2006 07:53 AM
I think you chose a great topic it's not to serious but you really need to work on making the essay completly about yourself. I think the third paragraph is uneccessary and you should elaborate on the event in itself. Also be careful of unnecessary details. I'd love to see the next draft.


Sorry if I was harsh Im a litterature student and I also tutor people in writing.

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