Looking for some advice today, this year I'm trying to be less aggressive but still retain my sense of strictness...

I have one athlete who I've struggled to motivate and who wants to improve but doesn't want to put in the practice time. This year I thought she was really coming around.

She put more gym time in last week than anyone else and I applauded her for and it told her how proud I was. I told her if she wanted to take one night off this week to keep up on her school work she could...and she did. This was on the condition she came to practice on another two days, which involved scheduled lessons.

Last night, I got a phone call 20 minutes before I got to the gym from this student. She said she had a lot of homework to do and "other things to do". I asked what the other things were, and she rambled something about getting homework done and having practice on Saturday.

I told her I wouldn't be angry, and this was her one chance. BUT then I find out this morning she didn't even have school today as it is a PA Day. Therefore, I know she lied to me.

What do I do to discipline this student? I am charging her parents for the 1/2 hr of her lesson I could not fill on Thursday, but don't think she should be let off scot free for lying to me.

Advice?

Hi, this is a tough situation...personally I don't think there is any real way to discipline the student...in a way she is doing that to herself by not taking her training seriously. I definitely agree with you charging her for not showing up (as I would do the same with my skating students) and I think that if it happens again where she cancels on SHORT notice, then you should consider dropping her as a student. That way you can fill your time with someone who is DEDICATED to making every lesson.

I hope things get better, but maybe what you should do is sit down with your student and her parents/guardians. Then you can all talk about whats going on and how to handle the situation.

Good luck with this!

Thanks so much for the feedback....I waited until tonight, and I called her mom just to ask what was up. I stayed calm and was genuinely curious. I'm so glad I did! It turns out her father wouldn't let her come to practice and forced her to call and lie. I guess she cried for hours about it and felt really guilty today.

Instead of disciplining her, I feel really bad for her. But I'm still charging her father for that 1/2 hour! He deserves it for doing that to her.

I can only relate to the dancing “athlete”. But, discipline and instruction is kind of universal in any genre. I have seen instructors who have bent over backwards to help a student feel comfortable, wanted, needed. The problem comes when the student gets accustom to this pampered treatment. It becomes a habit. The instructor will spend more time gaining back his or her own control after doing something like this. Be firm. Do it from the start.

Giving special treatment to people who haven’t earned it, who are jealous and disrupt the flow, who’s parents are your friend, or it’s your kid, or just to get certain students to behave, will only cause you grief in the long run. You have given your power away to these students. Who’s in control? Not you anymore.

There is a hierarchy of control in student sports. On a team, people who try out for positions and win – should get those positions, they need to have the say. They have earned that right. This is the person who does show up, and who is dedicated. This is the person who isn’t looking for special treatment, and doesn’t expect nothing in return but respect. If the teacher gives respect to students who are unqualified – who are “no shows”, and haven’t the ability – I’d fire the teacher. Let me say that again, I would fire that teacher. Pick up your pay check and hit the road. That may sound harse - but when you have teams as large as 45 to 70, or even small teams - it MATTERS. 45 to 70 leaders all telling the teacher what to do. I'd be forced to let that teacher go.

In a team setting , when you give away positions to people who haven’t earned those positions – Or allow an over abundance of input (usually negative) from the team - you might as well shut your team down. Just walk away – you failed. Who’s in control? They are. You’ve given the power to people who really don’t know anything, delegated your own authority right out the window.

It doesn’t really matter if it’s a team or one student. If you give special treatment to one – you have to do it for everyone. Pretty soon, everyone else has all the power – and you become a puppet.

You have to stand firm. Being an athlete takes discipline. If a student isn’t interested in showing up – don’t you have better things to do with your time? Make sure you are paid for it. Bill them, and don’t feel bad about it. Let the father deal with his athlete’s laziness. It really isn’t your concern. You did your part – you showed up. Bill them, and sleep good at night. You really can’t be friends to these kids and be their coach. You have to draw deep lines of authority.

You want to think that at the high school level that students are mature enough to deal with routine. In fact, it’s all drama. <i>“Oh, my teacher loves me – she’ll understand and take me back.” “She’ll give me so and so’s duties”. “I’m special” “I’m popular” “Everybody loves me.” “We’re going to throw a cue and take over.” “I hope she quits.” “I want to be prom queen.” “Let’s sabotage the leader so we can lead.” “My mom will get her fired” “I will make her life miserable” “I’m on my period” blah blah blah……. </i>

Respect is earned - they don't hand it out at the door. Be firm. Start right. Get tough before they even open their mouths. Don't put options on the table before they have even seen the rules.

Good luck


Bill them!

wow that's really weird about what her dad did...was she in trouble or something? Poor kid!!!