First in my rant, parents.

I'm a teacher assistant for little kindergartens. I'm 15, although I tend to look and sound a bit older (I have a large, proper vocabulary, and usually a low voice. Only alone with my friends do any teenage words like "like" or "dude" pass my lips.), and parents generally assume I am, as they don't really expect a teenager to be teaching in any way but then again if they don't have older students they don't really know about the work study thing. All that aside,

I never realized how STUPID they can be!!!! It's a combo tap/ballet/acro class, tap coming first.
"Does she need her tap shoes for this class?"
"She doesn't have tap shoes, will that be okay?"
"We didn't really know what she needed, so I didn't buy her tap shoes."
"We don't have tap shoes because we don't know where to get them."
"We forgot her tap shoes."

HELLO?!?!?!? Do you even HAVE a brain? It says in the brochure. When signing up YOU YOURSELF have to circle the word "tap". At both studios, on the waiting room doors and walls, and in the brochure, it says YOU CAN ORDER SHOES FROM THE STUDIO!!! And, I wonder, how the heck can you be taking your kid to tap class, and forget her tap shoes?!?!?!? ARGH And then when they act all snooty because I forget their kid's name. It's early in the year. And maybe if you brought her every week, I might rember a bit easier. It's not as though it's EASY to memorize the identity of 18 children!

Also, next to the desk, on the wall, there is a metal box. On the box, there is a yellow sign. On the sign, it says
"Insert payments here. Payment should be in an envelope that has your child's name and amount enclosed written on it."
So I'm standing there flipping through the book to find the correct class list to take attendence, and this guy comes over, loose check in hand, looks at the box, then me, and says "Do I put this in there?" So I hand him an envelope from out of the two boxes on the desk, and say to put it in the envelope with the information first. The guy puts it in. Then says "Now what?" I hand him a pen. He gives me a strange look. I say "You have to put your kid's name on it, and the amount your paying." He does it and sets the pen back on the desk. Holding the envelope with the check in it, he stares at me. I take the envelope from his hand, and stick it in the box and walk away. *headsmash* Honestly...Where is intelligence these days? The parents constantly glare at me, then whisper among themselves. It's annoying. You see, there is two sets of stairs to get to the studio. Parents are only to use the far ones, as there is just ~stuff~ at the top of the other one that their children need not get into, and the waiting room is on the other side anyways. Us advanced students use the steps, and as teacher assistants no one minds. But I feel uncomfortable going up them if the light is off, and if the studio door is closed. So every now and then, I go up the parents steps, and wait with them getting my shoes on for the preschool class to end. They sit there. And stare. And glare. And as they stare, they lean over to one another and whisper. I'm going to be especially panicking about this next week, as it is parent visitation week. ...........Nuff said.

CHILDREN
I can't ever remember anyone being that disrespectful when I was a littlie in the combo classes. I also feel so nervous when, well not yelling exactly, but talking in a raised voice trying to keep that strict tone to them, and they don't listen. I don't know what to do. The teacher usually notices and does something but I just feel so..useless when I can't get them to listen.

This one girl, who was yelling, running, and hanging on the barre was finally told by the teacher to sit out. At the end of class, she proudly declares "I'm a little witch." The teacher (who is new by the way) was pretty much shocked and just said "I'm sorry." and walked away.

Another child, who was swinging on the barre, blatantly ignored me as I told her to stop. The teacher who was preoccupied trying to keep order with the other 17, didn't notice. I was near to screaming at her andshe just sticks her tounge out at me and goes to the other side of room.

UGH And they have their special spots to stand in. For the first few weeks, I would just put them in lines, but finally a particular spot and order has been arranged. They don't like to stay in their spots and it just gets so FRUSTERATING to say over and over again to them to get back in place. And physically moving them. And then they go right back where they shouldn't be. And again comes the feeling of uselessness when the teacher notices I'm not keeping order. And getting them to stop YELLING! GRRRR And to sit in there circles. I was asked to get them in their butterfly stretches while the teacher got music, but I couldn't even get them into a good circle in the time it took her to find the right songs. And again, the panic of what the parents will think if I can't do anything. *SCREAM*

It sounds horrible, but this one psycho child who actually was quiet one week, had me end up thinking "She must have started the meds.." ... *sigh*
It's just been a little over a month, and I have this until the end of May. I think I'm mostly stressed over the parents watching. But hey..maybe the kids will be better with their folks around, ....right?

I must, admit however, they are adorable, not all are bad, and I have to giggle when they call me "Mrs. ___" hahaha

~ Snackle

preschoolers are always a challenge, because their behavior is so easily affected. if they don't get enough sleep, if they're hungry, if they can't stand next to their friend, or if their friend wants to stand next to someone else are all things that can heave them acting out. i have found that simple, easy to follow rules work best. never run in your dancing feet, don't touch or bother the friends you meet, and when dance teacher talks we don't say a peep! of course, you'll have to add "don't hang on the bar like a monkey."

we all need to vent, but it sounds you're doing a good job, and that you enjoy the little dancers - when they aren't possessed!

Actually, it's kindergarteners I a.t.. The preschool class is prior, I only am in there for the last few minutes of their class. But still, it's only a year or 2 difference. I'm mostly worried that I'll be having a rough time at the next class with all the parents there. Who seem to dislike me already.

~ Snackle

Snackle, you sound quite mature for your age and you have the same complaints we all have.

I have been in the dance business for 40 years this year and have to say that kids have changed because parents have changed.

The media and the 60's generation parents have a lot to do with lack of respect and discipline. If parents are stupid, how are kids to know any better?

I just like to point to things that are posted and say, "Read what it says here. It's self-explanatory," and then walk away.

For kids, OH, NEVER will they be disprespectful more than once, no matter the age. It does not happen in my class. If it does happen more than once, out to mom or dad with a "your child did this and was reprimanded and then did it again. Please explain to her (or him) that this is not acceptable in class. Thank you."

If they don't like it, leave! I don't need brats or parents who allow brats. GRRRR

So I feel your pain but with time and patience, it will get better. Also, you can always vent here! WE KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!!

That sounds about right!!
It constantly amazes me how incapable people are of reading notices, adhearing to rule (which are usually for their safety) and generally being polite people.
Things certainly have changed since I was that age. I am totally shocked at the behaviour of some children and unfortunately it comes down to the parents in my (humble) opinion.
It sounds like your are carrying yoursellf well and putting up with the gracefully. Just remember to breath, smile and remind yourself that when it's time they will all be going home at the end of class!! Until then - vent away!! It's the only thing that saves us sometimes!

Thanks for letting me vent!! Ugh..Common sense is the least common thing. Of course, we all know the difficulties in figuring out that tap class requires TAP shoes. How are they to know you don't wear ballet flats in tap? *SARCASM* It also gets a little dull to say repeatedly "I'm the assisstant, you have to talk to Miss __so and so__ about that" As the parents like to come over and complain at me about what they've ordered and payed and this months payments and the next and so on and so forth..

I can't imagine how all you teachers put up with it nearly everyday! I think I'd either manage to be gray before I'm even an actual adult, or go entirely bald from ripping out my hair. lol

*Takes deep breath and thinks of tuition discount*

~ Snackle

You have the parent(s) able to observe class all year?? Wow that is tough!! The problem with parents being in the class every week is that if they don't have to listen to their mommy why would they have to listen to you? I think the key is to establish simple rules that are consistantly followed (I know someone else said that too ) even if the parents don't like it. Dance is discipline even at a young age.

One suggestion for staying on their spots (we have numbers on the floor at my studio but I also head a summer camp dance class elsewhere and I put "x" on the floor with tape), is to say "hide your spot". I tell them it's a surprise and I don't want to see their number... later on in class they get to reveal their surprise and tell everyone what # and color they are dancing on.

It sounds like you are doing a good job. Don't worry so much about what the parents think. If you love working with the kids and show them that you care about them, the parents will notice that. But if you act like you are unsure of what to do, they will pick up on that too. I used to be a nervous wreck when my boss or anyone would enter the room, but once I really just focused on the kids and what I was trying to accomplish, I started not to care about anything else around me.

Good luck and hang in there. If you want any suggestions for getting "really good listeners" PM me, maybe I can help!!

You have the parent(s) able to observe class all year?? Wow that is tough!! The problem with parents being in the class every week is that if they don't have to listen to their mommy why would they have to listen to you? I think the key is to establish simple rules that are consistantly followed (I know someone else said that too ) even if the parents don't like it. Dance is discipline even at a young age.

One suggestion for staying on their spots (we have numbers on the floor at my studio but I also head a summer camp dance class elsewhere and I put "x" on the floor with tape), is to say "hide your spot". I tell them it's a surprise and I don't want to see their number... later on in class they get to reveal their surprise and tell everyone what # and color they are dancing on.

It sounds like you are doing a good job. Don't worry so much about what the parents think. If you love working with the kids and show them that you care about them, the parents will notice that. But if you act like you are unsure of what to do, they will pick up on that too. I used to be a nervous wreck when my boss or anyone would enter the room, but once I really just focused on the kids and what I was trying to accomplish, I started not to care about anything else around me.

Good luck and hang in there. If you want any suggestions for getting "really good listeners" PM me, maybe I can help!!

Hmm, did I make it sound like all year? They only come to watch class in the studio these next two weeks, and then again sometime this spring. They glare at me in the waiting room, and at the beginning of class before they clear out for it to start. And they also look through the window in the door, even though there is a sign that says to "Please refrain from peering in the door" attatched right on it. Parents, gr...I could go on. But I think I'll breathe instead.

~ Snackle

I removed in class observation. I have a tv monitor for the little one's classes only. No sound, either. It seems to have stopped a lot of things going on and I never have to worry about interference from parents in class. Also, it's in a spot where you have to stand or sit in a not so comfortable place in the lobby, so some give up after a while, lol.

JLL, I love the idea of a tv monitor in the room with no sound. It is not imposing on the class at all. And it really cracks me up that the tv is in an awkward area in the waiting room! That's something so subtle yet so deliciously satisfying about that.

We have an observation window but have covered it with a mini blind until the designated observation periods which usually fall on the first week of particular months. I am dreading it because all those faces pressed up against the window will throw a wrench in the precious order I have finally achieved with my 19! four year olds. It's really important to me that there are no distractions but what can you do?

Snackle, if I had the opportunity to watch parents glaring and whispering, I would hate every minute, too. I don't even glance their way, I'm so busy juggling my teacherly duties. I know and believe in what I'm doing, so that's enough for me. Remember, these glaring people own their wild child, so a lot of the psycho behavior is quite normal to them. They can't expect you to single-handedly transform their Angel into a calm, focused student. You're doing your best so ignore the whispering if you can. Besides, who really knows what they're talking about for sure?

Good luck and try to focus on the great, funny and rewarding moments in your class. The crazy stuff that happens is normal and is almost expected with that age where anything can happen. Just roll with it and adjust your expectations. You'll survive.

A good thing to do with the window is to buy stuff that turns the window into a two-way mirror or have a railing or something that keeps them from getting close enough to it to have their faces in the window.

Nineteen four year olds?!! That sounds like complete insanity.

JLL, that TV thing is amazing. I wish my studio had that. If I ever loose my sanity and open my own studio many many years from now, I will set up a tv and put it in the worst spot anyone could ever imagine heh heh

~ Snackle

Oh, and I somewhat feel the pain about the 19 four year olds. In the class, there's 18 5-6 year olds. I couldn't imagine them younger...and one more. *shudder*

Yeah, 19. It started with 13 and that was enough for me and one assistant. Then every week my SO would walk in with new 4 year olds in hand and introduce them. My response: "Gee...more tiny people...great! Er, welcome."
When we reached 18 students and I had a three ring circus, she promised me, no more. She also then gave me two experienced assistants. That made a world of difference.
Last week she marched in another student to our fun little world. I said, "Uh, wow. Yet ANOTHER...hmmm, welcome!"
My SO literally slinked out of the room.

I just wanted to respond regarding the parents glaring at you and not liking you. I can be a very self-conscious person, and have figured out that my own self-consciousness can create insecure feelings about what other people are thinking. Some parents may actually be glaring at you, but most are just over-stressed, tired, and thinking about how hectic their life is. I am starting to realize that crabbiness is just the personality type for a lot of people. Just because they look crabby (which some people just always look that way without realizing it because they are chronically stressed or angry with the world). Others may have had a horrible day at work, a screaming baby kept them up at night, they can't afford to pay for their new car, or their spouse is being a jerk at home. We often preceive the way people interact with us to be about us, when really most people are concerned with their own little world and probably don't think twice about you (no offense, just human nature). So if you see those parents glaring at you, just focus your attention on the little ones and enjoy how cute and innocent they are. Don't ever let them see you annoyed, because they admire and look up to all of the teacher's and assistants and want to be us one day. When the parents see how much fun their child has with you and how much they say your name when they run around in their tutu at home, the parents will start to adore you as well. If they don't, just remeber that you are in your position because your teacher or SO feels that you are a competent dancer, a good role model, and possess good communication skills with the students and parents.

I am the SO/Teacher in my little studio, and if I see or hear about parents being rude to my assistants I am as defensive as it was my own child. I choose those girls because I would want my own little girls to have them for a role model, and they help me make my classroom a fun, warm, encouraging place to grow and learn. I select my assistants carefully and I'm sure your SO does as well. You can rest assured in knowing that she chose you for a reason!

Absolutely true! I had a mom blow up at me once, about the fact we had to change dates and locations for our recital. It was a matter of the venue screwing us and we had no choice. I was flabbergasted but let it slide.

She came back and apologized that she had a lot of stuff come down on her that week the news came at a bad time.

At my studio we have two way mirrors, so in the studio its a mirror but there is also a private watching area where parents can watch the kids through the window. Like a police station lol. Its kinda cute when youre watching a class and the little kids squish their faces against the window to find their mommies. But i love it because its not a distraction to them and half the time they forget there parents are even there. And i don't have to deal with the ignorant Moms and Dads.

aaaaahhH!!! welcome to the world! Just know that yes, parents can be complete MORONS at times. Realize - that just because you are a teenager, that this does NOT mean adults are smarter than you. I was so quiet and shy and just believed that older=smarter. I never questioned anyone. Boy was I wrong!!! It sounds like you have a lot of common sense - know that you are probably just as smart, if not smarter than the parents.

As far as the kids go...go ahead and be firm. REAL firm. They will respect you more, and you'll get more done in class. Obviously, do not say anything mean or hurtful...you need to develope your *angry voice* hehe. I always say exactly what needs to be done, for example:

Do NOT climb on the barres
Suzie, get top your assigned spot NOW

And if the are being very rowdy, I will get down on their level, hold their hands and look directly into their eyes when I say this. They KNOW you mean business then. I've come to realize that you just can't *say* something and expect results. It rarely works with this age. They don't respond to verbal corrections as well...you have to SHOW them. And if you are right there, in their face, they will pay attention. This will NOT make you the mean teacher (or mean assistant in your case). All my kids still loved me, gave me hugs, were sad when class was over....you can still have fun. You can GET to the fun stuff by getting through the difficult moments quickly and without a lot of emotion.

Thanks so much for the advice!
heh heh *angry voice* I can do angry voice..I think.

~ Snackle

I know. People always ask me how i can work with children. I awlways answer "its not the kids i cant stand its the parents. Oh and yes you were that disrespectfull. Tust me. You dont think you were. But you were. Also if they alre older than like 10 they arent going to respect you as much anyway because you are too close in age. It sucks but we all go through the same thing.

I wasn't rude. I didn't talk. At all. Mainly because I couldn't hear (practically deaf til age 8). As I've said many times, they're kindergarteners. I don't think the older classes really need assisstants. Or have them. That whole age difference thing.

~ Snackle

I am now lucky enough to assistant teach girls my own age. Thank god!

They are old enough to shut up when it's it's time, follow most instructions, adn they deal with stuff, so usually parents don't even have to get involved.

But I used to help teach preschools, kindergarteners, and third graders.

Ugh!

It wasn't really so much the kids as the parents for sure. Helping those classes taught me how NOT to parent children.

Like seriously, where is the common sense? I mean, how can they not understand how disrespectful and rude it is to drop off a screaming child at the doorway say, "Sally is in a bad mood today," and drive away?

There's a word for behavior like that and it's not appropriate on this website!

Smackle,
Not4show said it perfectly. More than likely they are not talking about you. But if they are, it might be something like: "Boy, I wish I were that flexible again (if ever!)" or "I would 'kill' for that figure..." Some of us 40 somethings really envy teenagers...

Something like: "Youth is wasted on the young" comes to mind...

In other words, we wish when we were young we knew what we know now. We would have so much more enjoyed "our youth".

It sounds like you are very mature and very organized...I don't mean to criticize you teacher, and I know assistants are there to "assist", but to me, the discipline responsibility of the class falls upon the teacher. Of course, if I had an assistant I would expect that she wrangle up the occasional "stray" dancers, but I wouldn't expect that my assistant be responsible for the entire class.

Vent, vent, vent. It feels so good! Just remember to breathe and enjoy what you do. You'll do a great job because you care!

Just to keep things clear, the actual teacher does a fairly decent job with dicipline (she's new. she's better every week.) It just so happens bad behavior doesn't happen in turns. It'd be nice if there was one problem at a time, buuuut, sadly, nope.

The thing about the whispering among the parents is that they glare and frown as they do it. But a song is coming to mind.."I will survive!" *starts singing oldies and dances into the sunset*

~ Snackle