Forum: Advice / Girls & Guys PG-13

I have stubble rash. How do I tell him? (No, this is not a stupid question.)
By Emmamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Sun Aug 26, 2007 07:57 PM

I've been seeing this boy. (translate to: kissing him a lot, not dates) Here are some facts about our relationship and about me:

I work with him.
We haven't had "the conversation" about how serious we are (except when drunk, which doesn't count, and consisted of:

Me: "S was asking if we're an item."
R: "We can't be an item if we've not even been on a date yet."
Me: "You taking me on a date then?"
R: "Yeah, maybe... Once your exams are over."*

I like oral sex. (a lot, and I like a lot of it)
I have gotten drunk after work a lot.
When I am drunk, I get horny and demanding (who doesn't?)
He lives near me, so we walk home together...
He has a beard. It's really quite nice (That last sentence, that's not fact, it's opinion)
I like to keep my pubic area hairless. (except I only veet it about once a month)
We've not gone any further than oral sex.

Anyway, factual time over, and if you haven't already read the title of this thread and then the facts and figured it out, I have stubble rash in my pubic area. How am I supposed to deal with that? Any advice on how to have that conversation with him and on what to do to prevent it or aid the healing of it.... Finally, does my hair or lack of hair affect this at all, if anyone knows anything about that, that'd be great too.

*may not be verbatim, I was drunk at the time of that conversation, remember? Oh that's right, it's supposed to be me remembering the conversation...

11 Replies to I have stubble rash. How do I tell him? (No, this is not a stupid question.)

re: I have stubble rash. How do I tell him? (No, this is not a stupid question.)
By KangarooPawmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Aug 27, 2007 06:40 PM
humm...


That shouldn't be too bad of a conversation, as long as you don't just bring it up out of the blue. Wait until you're doing stuff with him, and casually let him know. Don't be too nervous about it, or he'll think more of it. If you just mention it to him and let him know, he probably won't even care that much.


As for treatment, use lotion, like cocoa butter. It will help the rash part go away. At least, that's what works for me. :P
re: I have stubble rash. How do I tell him? (No, this is not a stupid question.)
By Grumpy05
On Wed Aug 29, 2007 01:07 PM
Let's see here, you haven't been on a actual date yet but are having oral sex...advice for the road rash...close your legs and get to know the guy above the waist.
re: I have stubble rash. How do I tell him? (No, this is not a stupid question.) (karma: 1)
By Angelinamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Wed Aug 29, 2007 04:30 PM
^ Wow, judgemental much?!
re: I have stubble rash. How do I tell him? (No, this is not a stupid question.)
By Niennamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Wed Aug 29, 2007 05:21 PM
^^Well I realize why your screenname is Grumpy. :?

To be honest Emma, I'm really forward so I'd tell him straight up. "I love what you do down there, but to be honest, I'm getting a rash from your beard." I'd probably laugh then too because it sounds sort of ridiculous doesn't it?

Your lack of hair does have something to do with it because I'm also clean shaven and I get rashes sometimes with my boyfriend when we're together just from his pubic hair. I usually just deal with it and make sure I shower afterwards. I don't like rubbing lotion on my crotch because it feels strange to me, I don't know.

You might want to actually call your gynocologist and see if s/he can recommend anything. I got the best tip off about lube from my gyno. They're usually really understanding about sexual questions and are more than happy to offer a solution for a problem.
re: I have stubble rash. How do I tell him? (No, this is not a stupid question.)
By imadanseurPremium member
On Wed Aug 29, 2007 09:00 PM
I would have to agree that this conversation might be easier if you were actually in a relationship besides friends with benefits. In my experience it works better to form a friendship that develops into a relationship that develops into sex because you have a better foundation in which to approach subjects like this.

BUT...you are young, this isn't the guy you are going to marry, and I was young and stupid as well. (I did some really really really stupid things so I could lecture you, but I'll save that and hope others will as well since that is NOT what you are asking!)

I think asking him to shave the beard is a little out of line especially since you aren't dating...therefore I think you need to tell him how much you enjoy the oral sex, but ask him to be less aggressive since you are chaffed. (I could go into details, but this is a family site and I'd rather not be censored by the other mods that are totally obnoxious and mean. :P joking) You have sensitive skin...not too much you can do about that. Aloe can soothe the outer labia and inner thighs.
re: I have stubble rash. How do I tell him? (No, this is not a stupid question.)
By kamina
On Wed Aug 29, 2007 10:17 PM
For goodness' sakes. The guy licks your vagina, but you can't even have a conversation with him about it?

In my opinion, if you ever find yourself unable to comfortably speak about something sexual that is happening between yourself and another person then you shouldn't be engaging in that activity.

Sorry if that's a bit extremist, but having myself had some regrettable sexual experiences before I chose to start abstaining, that is what I honestly believe.

It seems obvious to me that you have two options:
A) "Your beard gives me a rash on my vagina, which is kind of awkward. Either you shave it off, or we stop doing that, or we find a way around it".
B) Stop messing around with him altogether. Because, really. Hormone-driven hookups, drunken pussy-footing around the question of whether you're an item ('maybe...once your exams are over' means 'no', FYI), and then an inability to even discuss your pubic region with him? This is probably the kind of thing you're going to look back upon six months from now and cringe.

Sorry I yelled a bit. People being unable to talk about their bits with their sexual partner happens to be a pet peeve of mine.
re: I have stubble rash. How do I tell him? (No, this is not a stupid question.)
By elliebelliemember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu Aug 30, 2007 12:46 AM
Well next time you're about to do the oral-deed, stop him and say You can't do this cause your stubble is giving me a RASH!

When I'm hairless - my boyfriend never shaves lol, and I get it too.

But when I'm not hairless, and he hasn't shaved, there is nothing not even a little scratch.

Really, just tell him... If you remember (since you say most of the time you hook up when you're drunk), because if you're off your face things seem to slip your mind... or come out louder than they're supposed to!

elliebellie
re: I have stubble rash. How do I tell him? (No, this is not a stupid question.)
By Emmamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu Aug 30, 2007 08:27 AM
I'm glad that I'm not the only one that it happens to. Annoyed that it's cure rather than proper prevention... Oh well!!!

And I really want to explain to the people who have decided to answer my question with the answer to a different question - one which I wasn't asking, because I have already decided the answer to that one. Honestly though - if you decide to answer the wrong question then I can only assume that you haven't bothered yourself to read my post/questions properly, and you probably wouldn't read the explanations either, suffice to say, I'm intelligent enough to know the repurcussions of my actions and it's no one's place to judge anyone else on something they've already made a decision on.

The reason I was asking the question was really on advice on how best to bring it up with him, and mostly on how to treat or prevent it, because those conversations are always awkward. Like RooPaw said, it can't really be out of the blue, I mean, way to kill any conversation!! no?

I do want to explain this one thing though (I think it might be a culture difference) I have a lot of friends who are "in a relationship" and have been for a number of weeks/months, yet have never been on an actual date with their s.o., they've just not needed to. So we're just, I suppose, in the start of a relationship, and seeing where it goes, rather than 'friends with benefits' which is something else entirely, because there's supposed to be no feelings involved there, but an ability to talk about sexual health. I think 'the conversation' would lead to a relationship, or friends with benefits, or nothing, but currently, we're just leading up to that. Think Grey's Anatomy, season one, without the penetrative sex (fourth base, whatever..)
re: I have stubble rash. How do I tell him? (No, this is not a stupid question.) (karma: 1)
By LlamaLlamaDuckmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu Aug 30, 2007 12:33 PM
I would take stubble rash over finding a pubic hair 2 days later (and yes I did shower).

There have been threats of witholding something if he doesn't shave or at least trim the jungle that lies between his legs.
re: I have stubble rash. How do I tell him? (No, this is not a stupid question.)
By imadanseurPremium member
On Thu Aug 30, 2007 01:24 PM
^Thanks for that image!
re: I have stubble rash. How do I tell him? (No, this is not a stupid question.)
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