Forum: Advice / Ask a Parent

pre-College blues and stress
By AlwayzDancin15member has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Sun Sep 16, 2007 02:47 AM

I'm 17 and a senior in high school. Next year I'll be going to college and I've wanted to go to the University of Alabama all my life. They have a great communications department which is what I want to go into. Plus it's close to home. Thing is though....it's not really a choice. My mother is basically telling me I have to go there. My boyfriend goes to Jacksonville State which is 2 hours away and I've also thought about going there. My mom told me I couldn't go there because he will be there. My boyfriend says he will transfer with me to Bama if I end up there. But there is a possibility he won't be able to. He really likes where he is at and I don't want to make him have to leave the place where he is happy. Mom says I can't live on campus if we go to the same school. I don't think she wants me to live on campus period. I really want to though. I want to get away from my home just a little bit and branch out and grow up. I need it really. I love my family but I kinda need to breakaway. I hope I'm not sounding selfish because I'm not trying to be at all. I'm the first kid in my family to go to college and I think my mom is having a hard time letting go. I don't know what to do. Everything I've done so far is making her mad. What should I do? I feel almost as if she is tryng to control me and tell me what to do. She also always tells me to break up with my boyfriend but I love him so much. She won't give him a chance and it's been a whole dang year!! It's killing me.

4 Replies to pre-College blues and stress

re: pre-College blues and stress
By dancemomtoo
On Mon Sep 17, 2007 10:49 AM
Its hard for your MOm that you are going away. However,
you want to go to Bama-go! You're lucky that it will work out for you! You can live on campu. There is NO reason for you to go to Jackson or for your bf to transfer to Bama.
Your bf is two hours away-thats nothing-you can plan on being home the same weekends or take trains/buses/ carpools to see each other-it acan be done-plus there is Thanksgiving, Christmas, Spring (may not be at same time) Summer. If the relationshipo is true it will last. if it doesn't last you will be meeting plenty of new people and doing plenty of new things.
Thinking about leaving for college can be pretty stressful. First its the application process, then its what if I don't get in, then its what if I don't like it and I should have applied elsewhere, then its what if I don't fit in/get lonely. (I have a sophmore this year so we went thru all that in the last two years). I'm guessing that it is a little insecurity about the whole thing that is making you focus on being separated from your bf while at college rather than the woderful opportunity you have in front of you. That is totally understandable-but if you truly want to branch out and grow up you should go to Bama on your own and see your bf on breaks.
re: pre-College blues and stress
By AlwayzDancin15member has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Tue Sep 18, 2007 07:20 AM
oh shoot i haven't forgotten about this wonderful college opportunity in front of me. it is wonderful. only reason me and my boyfriend are even talking about him transfering is because our relationship has always been like that. seeing each other on weekends and breaks. i'm used to it so it wouldn't be all that different. i guess part of me wants us to be like your average couple who lives in the same town and goes to the same school.
re: pre-College blues and stress
By Chedva
On Tue Sep 18, 2007 07:38 AM
Choosing your college because of a boyfriend is a mistake. You will not be the same person in a year that you are now. Remember back to when you were a freshman in high school. Are you the same person? Do you like the same things? Or have you grown and changed? That's what'll happen in college, too. And he should not transfer just to be with you.

Open yourself to the possibility of meeting new people. (No, you don't have to break up with your boyfriend.) Of having new experiences. If you and your boyfriend are meant to be, you'll survive the separation. There is no such thing as a "normal couple" at college. The stresses of college and of the relationship break up more couples than it keeps together. If you go to Jacksonville, and you break up, how will you feel? If he comes to Bama and you break up, how will you (and he) feel?

Go to the college that is best for YOU academically.

Could cost be part of the problem, too? If you're an Alabama resident, going to Jacksonville State could be much more expensive. Will your mother consent to you living on campus if you go to Bama? If so, I'd suggest strongly that you go there and experience living away from home.
re: pre-College blues and stress
By George0217
On Sun Dec 27, 2020 01:23 PM
Edited by George0217 (356970) on 2020-12-27 13:24:26
Edited by George0217 (356970) on 2020-12-27 13:24:31
Edited by George0217 (356970) on 2020-12-27 13:25:12
Edited by George0217 (356970) on 2020-12-27 13:25:57
Edited by George0217 (356970) on 2020-12-27 13:26:23
I would like to say many thanks to the staff as well as to the psychologists and administrators of the service. I was able to get very good psychological help here. I was very nervous about going to college and I was very stressed. If you want they were also able to help you then you only need to visit the website of the service primetherapist.com . The design of the website of this service is very stylish and beautiful, I really like it, just like a nice to be on it. The functionality of the site is very simple, even a person like me who is far away from the Internet figured it out. What about the psychologist? I liked him a lot, he was a good and understanding man, I will go to him again and again!

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