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Poll: Advice / Ask a Parent

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How old does your child have to be to date? en>fr fr>en
By EchoDancermember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 941, member since Tue Apr 10, 2007
On Sun Sep 16, 2007 10:28 PM


Just wondering. :D Maybe you could post why to your answer.
Thanks
Sierra

45 Replies to How old does your child have to be to date?

re: How old does your child have to be to date? en>fr fr>en
By d4jmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 12253, member since Fri Aug 27, 2004
On Mon Sep 17, 2007 09:29 PM
My son is fifteen and he is allowed to go out in mixed groups or double dates only. When he turns sixteen in November he is allowed to go on a date with a girl just the two of them.
re: How old does your child have to be to date? en>fr fr>en
By CdnDanceMom Comments: 683, member since Tue Aug 24, 2004
On Fri Sep 28, 2007 12:25 PM
My dd is 16. If she wanted to start dating now I think its an appropriate age. In fact even at 15, depending on the girl or boy, dating seems to be appropriate. I do know that younger girls date and even have long term relationships. But I personally would prefer a young girl or boy of that age spend their time with a larger range of friends and activities. Its all a little too much drama for 12, 13 year olds to me.

If my dd did want to start dating now, however, because she doesn't have a ton of experience in the area I'd hope she'd do more "group" stuff with lots of boys and girls. Its a less stressful way to get to know someone before doing a more personal one-on-one date. Its far less awkward, that's for sure.
re: How old does your child have to be to date? en>fr fr>en
By danceprincess100 Comments: 25, member since Sat Jun 30, 2007
On Mon Oct 01, 2007 04:05 PM
well at least hes not 9. Kids in 4 grade has already had 3 boyfriend
re: How old does your child have to be to date? (karma: 2)  en>fr fr>en
By oz_helenmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 11196, member since Sat Aug 10, 2002
On Tue Oct 02, 2007 05:09 AM
33

Helen
re: How old does your child have to be to date? en>fr fr>en
By dancemom18 Comments: 24, member since Thu Apr 20, 2006
On Fri Oct 05, 2007 10:00 AM
They will have to be 16 to go out on a one-on-one date. At 14 or 15, group dating seems acceptable to me.
re: How old does your child have to be to date? en>fr fr>en
By rocker_ballerinamember has saluted, click to view salute photos Comments: 573, member since Thu Mar 09, 2006
On Fri Oct 05, 2007 10:32 PM
My daughter isn't allowed to date until she is 40!! ;)

Comment #6503638 deleted
Removed by Lirit (28370) on 2007-10-12 00:10:56 Not a parent.

re: How old does your child have to be to date? en>fr fr>en
By Theresamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 33914, member since Wed May 22, 2002
On Thu Oct 11, 2007 03:50 PM
According to my dad, I'm still not allowed to date!

I honestly don't know. 16? I haven't really thought about it, to tell the truth...
re: How old does your child have to be to date? en>fr fr>en
By Theresamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 33914, member since Wed May 22, 2002
On Thu Oct 11, 2007 05:38 PM
You know... reading this is so strange to me. It seems there are many extremely protective parents out there. I am seventeen and engaged. My mom completely supports me. Some of the parents on here are saying they would not let their children even date until they are sixteen and at that time I was already engaged. I guess it kind of depends on the child/parent relationship and the maturity of both of them. Many people who are my age and in a relationship say they are "engaged" and do not go through with it, but we have the date set (August 16, 2008), the ceremony and reception locations reserved, the dress purchased, so it is happening and I could not be happier and neither could my mom and dad. I do have plans to go to college and nothing would stop that. I have extremely high goals for my life and am not going to settle for less than the best. I believe I am lucky to have found someone I love so much at such a young age when there are people who are forty out there who still have not found love. Could some of the parents on here give me insight on how they choose the age they allow their children to date? Is it maturity levels, trust, attachment issues (not wanting to let go), or other factors? Many parents say that a certain age is "just too young" and it does not seem like good reasoning to me. What makes an age just too young? What makes a certain age right? Will the day your daughter/son turns sixteen really make that big of a difference than the day before when they were fifteen? Suddenly because of one day (their birthday) they are mature enough to date even though the day before they were not? I just don't understand.




two things:

1)If this guy is sooooo perfect for you, what's your hurry? Why not actually get out, and have a few life experiences under your belt, before you go rushing down the aisle?

2)Just because one as the ability to get married, doesn't mean they should. In the state of Arkansas, if I'm willing to sign for it, legally, my THIRTEEN MONTH OLD son has the ability to get married. Does that mean he should? Of course not.

Comment #6504733 deleted
Removed by pharmadancer (87219) on 2007-10-18 08:13:45 not a parent

re: How old does your child have to be to date? en>fr fr>en
By tumblebugPremium member Comments: 10099, member since Fri Mar 29, 2002
On Thu Oct 11, 2007 09:37 PM
There was a lifetime movie about two youngins in love who were very happy and got married. Guess what? The boy didn't get to go to college, they cheated on each other, filed for seperation, you get the pic. There is no rush. You need to find yourself before you try to find someone to spend your life with.
re: How old does your child have to be to date? en>fr fr>en
By dancing4life86 Comments: 315, member since Wed Dec 17, 2003
On Thu Oct 11, 2007 09:47 PM
You know what... seriously I did not type that to get criticism on my life decisions. I have made my decision and their are factors that influence my decision so don't just jump to conclusions. Everyone on these boards is so quick to criticize instead of just answering the proposed question. You do not know me and you do not know him so let's leave it at that. I asked your opinion on what criteria go into deciding when to let your child date. I DID NOT ask you to dictate to me about how the decision I have made are wrong. Guess what! My parents married when they were sixteen and have now been married thirty years. Everyone is different and people need to stop putting everyone into the same category. You people make it extremely difficult to be honest on these boards.

Comment #6505115 deleted
Removed by pharmadancer (87219) on 2007-10-18 08:14:01 double post

re: How old does your child have to be to date? en>fr fr>en
By Theresamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member Comments: 33914, member since Wed May 22, 2002
On Thu Oct 11, 2007 10:21 PM
^But you did, however, type all that in effort to criticize other people and their life decisions, so hop on off of that high horse any time you like. We'll all be down here when you do.
re: How old does your child have to be to date? (karma: 5)  en>fr fr>en
By dancing4life86 Comments: 315, member since Wed Dec 17, 2003
On Fri Oct 12, 2007 08:12 AM
I was not criticising anyone. I was sharing my personal experience, which according to you guys is wrong. Is it suddenly wrong for people to have a different opinion that your own? DDN is supposed to be a place where people accept you and I really have loved posting on these boards, but I believe this experience is enough to make me never come back here. You really hurt my feelings and I don't think that is fair in an environment that is supposed to be friendly. Where was the criticism in my post? Because I did not mean for it to criticize anyone, I just wanted to show people the different sides of it. And for everyone's information, my fiancee has a horrible illness which I will not name which will probably cause him to die within the next ten years. So yes, I do want to marry him now. And don't even think I am making that up because I would love to not have to deal with all of this. The point of my post was to point out how situations can be different. Now... I have had fun on DDN, but I certainly did not come here to get my feelings hurt even more than they already are. Do you know what it feels like to have everyone tell you what you are doing is a stupid decision when they do not even know the half of it? I guess I could just run up to everyone that asks me about it and say well my fiancee is dying... but they do not deserve to know that and I did not think I had to say it here either.
re: How old does your child have to be to date? en>fr fr>en
By ginger22 Comments: 65, member since Wed Oct 17, 2007
On Thu Nov 01, 2007 04:46 PM
Had this promblem with our 15 year old all i can say is don't try and stop them you may not like the person they are dating but if you try stop them they will go behind your back.
re: How old does your child have to be to date? en>fr fr>en
By tumblebugPremium member Comments: 10099, member since Fri Mar 29, 2002
On Thu Nov 01, 2007 07:49 PM
I don't really feel like anyone has tried to be hurtful, just offer advice.
re: How old does your child have to be to date? (karma: 1)  en>fr fr>en
By CdnDanceMom Comments: 683, member since Tue Aug 24, 2004
On Sun Nov 04, 2007 09:08 AM
Okay if you want so insight from a parent on how I might choose whether my son or daughter was old enough to date, here are my personal thoughts.

1. Maturity level -- take a sample of people who are 13 or 15 or 17 or 19 and you will find that there are widely varying levels of maturity among them. Dating could mean a young girl and boy just go out and enjoy a movie. Or dating could mean that they want to pursue the relationship further. You need a certain level of maturity to know the difference and deal with what it takes to establish and maintain that relationship.

2. The ability to deal effectively with the harsh and sometimes ugly realities of "dating" -- Is the girl in question ready to deal with a guy who is looking to paw and grope her during the date? Is the boy in question ready to deal with a girl who might form an emotional attachment that he doesn't return? Is the person ready to deal with someone who maybe is drinking on a date or using drugs? Or someone who introduces you to friends you don't care for? These things happen. You accept a date with someone you think you know but you don't truly know them. Is the person ready to deal with these things?

As for when dating goes beyond dating into a committed relationship -- well again that is an individual issue. You may be a very mature young woman ready to take on marriage and long-term commitment. As long as you are ready for bills, arguments, children, disappointment, changing ambitions and goals over life and for the distinct possibility that it might not work, then you are ready. If you go into any relationship with over-romantic views of idyllic dinners every night, the beautiful house with white picket fence, children only after you've had a few years together, and together forever ie neither of you dies until you are 90+ and no one cheats on anyone...then you aren't ready.
re: How old does your child have to be to date? en>fr fr>en
By jean5 Comments: 3, member since Thu Jun 15, 2006
On Mon Nov 05, 2007 02:05 PM
16
re: How old does your child have to be to date? en>fr fr>en
By DCI01 Comments: 16, member since Fri Aug 17, 2007
On Tue Nov 06, 2007 07:33 AM
My son is 13 and he has a little girlfriend.
I hate it but what can i do?
they get together at school, I wont let them be alone at home but when he is at school i have no control over what goes on.
re: How old does your child have to be to date? en>fr fr>en
By ankmom Comments: 51, member since Fri Mar 03, 2006
On Sat Nov 10, 2007 04:23 PM
I always felt that for my girls they should be able to drive before going on a date. So about 16.
re: How old does your child have to be to date? en>fr fr>en
By dancersmom0264 Comments: 88, member since Fri Feb 23, 2007
On Sat Dec 08, 2007 06:34 AM
My niece is 14 and has a boyfiend. She is a freshman, he is a junior. They are together all the time and my son has caught them making out at family functions (outside, kind of hiding). My brother in law and his wife see nothing wrong with it and actually support it and give them alot of alone time. They were very young when they had her so perhaps that's why they think this way. It doesn't have to do with maturity at the age of 14. My niece is an honor student and is mature. To me it's way too fast and way too young. She has no friends who are girls or just friends who are boys. It's too exclusive. The couple are either together or talking/texting all the time.
That's my opinion on my niece.
My daughter is the same age and a freshman too. She will not be alone with a boy until she is 16. She has friends who are boys and lots of girl friends. They all go to mall, dinner, movies together but it is friendship. We always know who she is with and where they are going.
I don't think it's healthy to have a boyfirend at 14 and spend so much time together with no other firends.
re: How old does your child have to be to date? en>fr fr>en
By Dream_chaserPremium member Comments: 25538, member since Thu Jul 26, 2001
On Sat Dec 15, 2007 05:47 PM
14 is a good age for group dates or dates where they are not alone. I think that the earliest alone would be 16 but it would depend on the person. Some kids are just more mature at 16 and some are not ready, yet. It's something to be judged at the time.

If the teen shows responsibility in other ways; home chores, homework, keeping up grades, showing respect, etc., without prompting, then they are ready.

If they act immature and don't show such responsibility, then no.

Comment #6736271 deleted
Edited by lottiekins (180307) on 2008-01-03 14:34:34 added more.
Removed by imadanseur (79325) on 2008-10-27 18:37:58 If you are not a parent you may not post on this board. If you want to raise this question so parents can answer it then start a new thread.

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