Poll: Arts / Religion

Page:
Page 1 of 2: 1 2
Importance of Religion
By obsesseddancer14
On Sat Mar 08, 2008 10:10 PM
Moved to Religion by imadanseur (79325) on 2008-03-08 22:32:33 Moved to appropriate forum.


Hey everyone. This is a question that I've been thinking about that I thought was interesting. It's mostly aimed at our religious members. I'm not very religious myself and I was wondering how important it is to those with strong religious convictions for their significant other to have the same beliefs. what do you guys say?

26 Replies to Importance of Religion

re: Importance of Religion
By joytothe_world
On Sat Mar 08, 2008 10:24 PM
Its pretty much a deal breaker for me. I really need to have at least a strong moral connection with that person. It is important to me that my significant other is a Christian and has similar morals/values to me.
re: Importance of Religion
By DizzyLizzie
On Sun Mar 09, 2008 02:10 PM
It is a deal breaker for me. In the Bible it says that Christians should not be unequally yoked.
re: Importance of Religion
By NadiaLadidamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Sun Mar 09, 2008 07:57 PM
Not important.

Now spirituality is a whole different thing. To me, spiritual life is of utmost importance. But spirituality does not = religion.
re: Importance of Religion
By Elfiemember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Mon Mar 10, 2008 05:54 PM
Edited by Elfie (64279) on 2008-03-10 17:56:47
It's not important to me at all that the other person has the same kind of views and beliefs, that I do. On the contrary differences can make discussion all the more interesting. However respect for my views, is a must. If the others only motivation discuss the issues is convert me to their point of view, that would be a deal breaker. Despite not being a religious person I do consider myself a spiritual one, if someone would be completely unwilling to discuss spiritual issues, that would a major obstacle to making a connection to that person as well.
re: Importance of Religion
By ConUnaSonrisamember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Mon Mar 10, 2008 07:55 PM
My significant other has to be Christian. That's something I can't compromise on. However, I'm not sure if I would only date exclusively in my religion or not. Coincidentally, all my significant others have been my religion, though :)
re: Importance of Religion
By ActingBunheadmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Wed Mar 12, 2008 10:29 PM
It's a deal-breaker for me. I have a strong relationship with God and I would need someone who understands that relationship and would help me with developing that relationship.
re: Importance of Religion
By SiyoNqobamember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu Mar 13, 2008 12:22 AM
It's complicated.

To me, religion draws too closely to legalism. I don't want someone who reads the Bible and goes to church, but doesn't live it. I want someone who has an actual relationship with the Lord.
re: Importance of Religion
By Kekoamember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Thu Mar 13, 2008 01:33 AM
For me, like the others, spirituality is very important, not religion. In fact, if someone was very religious as in they had to attend church every sunday and read the bible daily, it'd be an issue. However if someone is convinced that there's nothing out there, no karma, no higher power, it'd be a problem too.
re: Importance of Religion
By gurlwithcurls
On Fri Mar 14, 2008 09:37 PM
As long as we have similar morals, I could care less what religious group (or lack thereof) they follow.

~*~Maggie~*~
re: Importance of Religion
By MrsFinnigan
On Fri Mar 14, 2008 10:46 PM
It's important to me, but not a deal breaker. I mean, after all, I a non-Catholic. What's important to me is that he has some relationship with God, tries to live accordingly, and helps raise the kids Catholic.
re: Importance of Religion
By Puss_in_Bootsmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Sat Mar 15, 2008 12:36 AM
Respect for my spirituality and an open mind are imperative to a relationship at this time in my life. Whether that means that somebody's religious or not doesn't matter. I'd be in a relationship for the support and the connection that we have, and while it'd be nice to have similar views on spiritual matters, as long as I felt like my views weren't being looked down upon, why should I complain?
re: Importance of Religion
By KayEllePremium member
On Sat Mar 15, 2008 12:47 AM
I'm kind of the opposite of most posters - for me, I couldn't be with someone that was very religious just because I strongly disagree with many of the tenets of most world religions. I also can't deal with people who try and use God or the Bible in arguments/debates because those hold absolutely no validity to me - which is a problem, because for most religious people, they do. I would therefore prefer to be with someone who is either agnostic or atheist, BUT I will say that I would take this on a case-by-case basis, you know?
re: Importance of Religion
By dandelionsalad
On Sun Mar 16, 2008 01:26 PM
KayElle, you took the words right out of my mouth. For me, it's a deal-breaker if someone is religious, mostly because I would want the person I'm with to value the same things I do, like reason, secularism, and humanism, things that are antithetical to most religions. Luckily, my fiance and I are on the same page, and even have similar religious backgrounds (both lapsed Catholics who have gradually strayed towards all-out atheism).

More generally, I think it's important for anyone to find someone who has the same religious views as them, or at least very similar ones. For most people, their religious (or anti-religious) views are very central to their lives, and to be unable to share that with your significant other would be very difficult, I imagine.
re: Importance of Religion
By MrsFinnigan
On Sun Mar 16, 2008 10:33 PM
Edited by MrsFinnigan (35713) on 2008-03-16 22:53:43
I meant to say I married a non-Catholic.

I also do not think it's fair to say that reason and humanism are antithetical to most religions, considering especially that most religions claim to require at least some use of reason, and basic (albeit non-secular) humanism is found in nearly all religions.

I've had good friends who are atheist, and at times well before I stumbled upon the man I'd eventually marry, I didn't rule out the possibility of dating atheists. But rule number one I discovered for having any kind of respectful friendship, let alone relationship, between a strong believer and a convinced atheist, is to not cast aspersions upon each other's beliefs, like saying reason is antithetical to religion or all atheists are going to hell.
re: Importance of Religion
By back2dance
On Tue Mar 18, 2008 11:04 PM
See, I've tried the "respect" route. And at the end of the day, I can't go home crying after work, and then talking with my husband, and saying "God's going to help me through this," as he just says "yes dear" and pats me on the head.

That's what I feel about a man who would be of a different faith. That he would just be "tolerating" me all the time while thinking that my beliefs aren't correct. Couldn't deal with that at ALL. No "yes dear"s for me. Simple respect of my beliefs isn't enough. For friendship? Yes, it can be. Not for the man that I mean to "become one" with.

I also want my husband and I to be on the same page in terms of raising our children, and that would be hard if he were of a different faith.

Deal breaker. But I know that Christians aren't monolithic (same with all belief systems in general), so I really don't have a problem with some points not coinciding perfectly. My boyfriend and I once had a 3 hour debate on the Trinity over dinner, which concluded with me going home and then picking up the phone and continuing it for another hour. Tee hee. We have to agree to disagree on some things.
re: Importance of Religion
By dreamyangel
On Tue Mar 18, 2008 11:44 PM
It's a deal breaker for me.

All the guys I've been serious about have not been Christian and there are huge issues with that. We had a lot in common but at the end of the day, I was worrying more about life after death than living now. They could never understand my views on important issues with me either. Always "we are going to do what we want - no consequences". So - I've been single for like a year now but such is life.
re: Importance of Religion
By dandelionsalad
On Wed Mar 19, 2008 11:48 AM
Edited by dandelionsalad (172285) on 2008-03-19 11:51:57 typo
I don't want to steer this post away from its original intent or start a debate on a different subject altogether, but I need to respond to some things said above:

As to the claim that religion requires reason or somehow contains humanism, these things may be true in a extremely limited sense. However, I meant them in a very absolute way.

First of all, pure reason and religious belief are diametrically opposed. Religion, by definition, requires a faith in the supernatural that violates all rational observation. To quote the apostle Paul: "For we walk by faith, not by sight".

Secondly, the Merriam-Webster dictionary defines "humanism"as:

"a doctrine, attitude, or way of life centered on human interests or values; especially : a philosophy that usually rejects supernaturalism and stresses an individual's dignity and worth and capacity for self-realization through reason"

The American Heritage Dictionary says much the same:

"A system of thought that rejects religious beliefs and centers on humans and their values, capacities, and worth"

In that strict, literal sense, religion is incompatible with humanism. While there is a school of philosophy that calls itself "Christian humanism", it is not really humanism at all and is definitely not what I meant when I referred to humanism as a central value in my life.

The point I was making is that the things I value, reason (knowledge through observation) and humanism (the rejection of supernatural belief in exchange for the respect for the inherent dignity of humankind) are incompatible with religion. Ergo, I could never be with a religious person.

Out of respect for the OP, if you want to keep debating this with me, start a new post (probably in the debates forum).
re: Importance of Religion
By d4jmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Wed Mar 19, 2008 09:47 PM
At different times of my life I would have answered differently.

My husband and I were not Christians when we married. We were somewhat similar in that we were both spiritually-minded but we differed in important ways - my husband believed in God, I did not. I was on a more serious "religious" path (Buddhist/Hindu) and he did not follow any path. At that time I would have said it's not that important - with the caveat that we at least needed to understand each other and where we each were coming from.

When I became a Christian, my husband did not. I would NEVER have left him just because he did not believe the same as me. We were still able to relate to each other. However, he did convert about a year and a half later (I did not push him.)

If I was not married now, I would only marry a Christian so my answer would be that it's a deal breaker for me. HOWEVER, it would not be because I would be intolerant of a non-Christian person and his beliefs. It would be because I would follow the Biblical mandate to marry a believer. The reason the Bible says to do this is not based on intolerance but rather the understanding that two people "become one" and it is already difficult enough as it is to make a life-long commitment without adding such a vast separation of views to the mix.
re: Importance of Religion
By Elfiemember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Thu Mar 20, 2008 04:52 AM
Let's not also forget religion does not equal Christianity. I would say different religions form differently compatible mixtures. Not all religions deal with other religions as simply flat out wrong and are therefor far more compatible with others. Let's take for example mixing wicca with budhism, both religions are very or at least somewhat tolerant of other religions and I imagine such a couple could have a very fruitful spiritual life together learning from each other, instead of "yes dear" (but I'm just not saying you are flat out wrong to not to offend you). I would say it's the attitude of the religion (and the person practising it) towards other religions that makes the mixed relationships work or not work.

The big monotheistic religions such as Christianity and Islam are particularly challenging in this way. But not impossible if the person practising them also realises a difference between a belief as a personal (no matter how strong) has the humility to seperate between belief and universal proven fact. By respect I didn't mean "yes dear, pat on the head, but you are wrong" by respect I mean "Interesting why do you believe that? *The other one explains and the other one really listens* "very interesting, now this is why I believe diffrently and what I disagreed and disagreed with with your reasoning *now the other one listens, and then the couple agrees to dissagree (or maybe in some cases agree as the other one changes their mind, but often these things are too deeprooted for that to happen, and both parties are aware and accept this), but agree that the discussion was interesting and mind broadening, good debate and not an argument*, that is what I meant by respect. I don't think the dishonesty in the "yes dear" scenarion was that respectful at all. To my sadness that kind of honest respect is a very rare thing to find, but well a person uncapable of it, would not meet my rough criterea...I never claimed I wasn't picky.
re: Importance of Religion
By tresbienmember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Wed Apr 02, 2008 01:02 PM
SOOO important!!
re: Importance of Religion
By Incarnadinemember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Wed Apr 02, 2008 08:24 PM
If I was not married now, I would only marry a Christian so my answer would be that it's a deal breaker for me. HOWEVER, it would not be because I would be intolerant of a non-Christian person and his beliefs. It would be because I would follow the Biblical mandate to marry a believer. The reason the Bible says to do this is not based on intolerance but rather the understanding that two people "become one" and it is already difficult enough as it is to make a life-long commitment without adding such a vast separation of views to the mix.


I completely 110% agree. That's my feelings on the matter exactly.

To add to that, it's important to me to raise my children Christian, and I need to know that my husband (their father) will uphold the same morals, teachings and values as I do, not only in our lives but in how we teach and raise our children.

Deal breaker.
re: Importance of Religion
By amandalynn89
On Fri Apr 04, 2008 10:39 AM
I don't care about "religion", per se, as in rituals and traditions and what usually boils down to legalism. I don't go to church, church frustrates me and disappoints me. But, I have a thriving relationship with the Lord, I have friends who I am accountable to who feel the same way. So for me, relationship with Jesus > religion.

In regards to a future spouse or what have you, as long as they believe in the Bible and have a growing relationship with Jesus, that's all that matters to me.
re: Importance of Religion
By Meganmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Fri Apr 04, 2008 03:44 PM
I could not marry a Christian, Muslim, Jew, Hindu, or a pagan with belief in a god or goddess. A Buddhist, I could consider, or someone with a more general view of some sort of higher power or purpose, possibly- I don't rule out agnostic types.

I'm a convicted atheist, and could not be in a committed relationship with someone whose views I consider to be flat-out incorrect. It's one thing in a friendship, but in a relationship, I just could not do it. I'd always have this voice in the back of my head saying "Come on, are you serious?"
re: Importance of Religion
By Kiwi720Premium member
On Sun Apr 06, 2008 07:53 PM
It's a dealbreaker for me. If you're not a christian and believe in core things that I do, I'm not going to date or marry you. A guy with a strong christian family totally attracts me.
Page:
Page 1 of 2: 1 2

ReplySendWatch

Powered by XP Experience Server.
Copyright ©1999-2019 XP.COM, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
XL
LG
MD
SM
XS
XL
LG
MD
SM
XS