Being a mom I would never allow such costumes on my dance girls. As far as having a pole as a prop- that is absolutely absurd! I think you should obviously keep doing what you're doing and not let other studios(and parents) bad desisions ruin things for you. That is crazy what you described! i have a strict rule about my costumes espeicially if someone in the group is a little bit heavy set. You are right As far as some studios morales, I mean I guess that rest on them.

I think this type of thing has to be stopped b y those in charge, meaning the competitions themselves. Now, I know people will say, you can't do that but I do believe it is possible. If competitions can make rules for time limits and age groups, why not make rules about conduct.
Things will always be sujective and what one person thinks is appropriate the other person will not, but i think we can all agree that an 8 or nine year old does not need to be pole-dancing or making her *** "clap". It all comes down to conduct. Allow the judges to take marks off for this and people just may stop doing it. (ok in aperfect world) but if more comps adopted the policy there may be no place for these "studios" to compete and eventually they will have to succumb.

Things like this will only conitnue if you allow it.