I closed my DDN diary for a lot of reasons. However, the problem is I really need this little place of solace for thought, reflection, and camaraderie. So I'm back.

First, I want to acknowledge a marvelous quote. I don't know the genius that wrote this, but it's good to remember:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths that we take, but by the number of moments that take our breath away.

To that end I strive to acknowledge all the positive moments that take my breath away. Alas, along the way (like all humans) I also experience negative moments that affect me too. One could say that those moments can take your breath away in a negative sense (i.e. sap your strength or crush your spirit).

I have found that what is important, is to remember that all experiences in life are an opportunity!



Sometimes we cannot control what happens in our lives, BUT we can control how we react to those experiences.

I also strive to embrace life on a daily basis, and along the way I’m also learning to embrace my inner child. I don’t want to just exist, I want to live. The things that bring me the most joy are:

My Faith
by Maria Louise
December 2008

Faith in God and his love for all mankind.
Faith that provides strength to live in a troubled world.
Faith on which one can hope and dream for a better tomorrow.
Faith is the foundation on which I stand.
Faith is believing in what you cannot see, but believing in it just the same.


My Best Friend and the Love of My Life




That I Can Still Dance





Life is like a ballet teacher you makes you stretch.
It will have you bend. It will have you stand on your toes.
And it will also give you grace and balance and make you a thing of beauty.


My Dogs

My handsome border collie, Charlie


My lovable mutt, Annie


My dogs were rescued from shelters. Charlie was taken from his mom at 5 weeks of age and we adopted him at 7 weeks of age. He is now 6 years old.

We let him pick out his own dog companion a few years ago. He picked Annie. Annie tolerates his neurotic tendencies. They are a bonded pair, and she is a younger woman 2 years old.


Pause Moments
Pause Moments are my way of stopping to appreciate the beauty around me. Whether I hug a tree, snap a beautiful photograph, or witness an amazing rainbow. Life stands still at those times for quiet reflection on all the beauty around me.

This sunset was taken on the deck December 15th when the air was warm, and a soft breeze was present.


I’m a tree lover and see personalities and faces on trees. Some might view a tree as ugly, but I think it has character.




Marveling at the swirl of colors on a tree stump surrounded by a pile of Autumn leaves.



My Family & Friends
I’ve made many, many friends on-line and I’m lucky enough to call some of them a part of my family. I’m also blessed to have a caring son, and a chance to be reunited with my daughter who was placed for adoption 23 years ago. I thank God for the opportunity to get to know my daughter “K”, my two year old grand daughter “A” and my soon to be new grand daughter!


Music & Singing
Music and Dance both cause a very spiritual response in me. I would be hard pressed to pick which one is more important to me. I love beautiful harmonies and instrumentation. I LOVE lots of types of music, and I enjoy discovering new singing talent. Yeah for YouTube to feed my soul with opportunities to discover new music and to watch dance.


Self Reflection
Another pause moment is grab moments to embrace ones inner child. I’ve learned that it is important to love the inner child in all of us, and not to stifle it. Enjoy those childlike moments, find your pause moments where you can delight in simple things…like smiley faces



My inner child is 10, how old is yours?

My inner child is 5.

And HORRAY for a new diary. Yes, it really helps to have a place where you can write down what is inside your head. Of course, other people can read it, so not completly everything can be said, but very often the fact that it IS possible that someone else reads it helps as well, because it gives you the feeling someone would listen to your thoughts.

I READ your diary!

Welcome back to diary-land! You were missed!

Mine is about 4 to 6. She still needs a nap.

Welcome back to diaryland! Yours is always one of my favorites to follow.

^Welcome kids!

*thinking about how glad she has friends who have inner children still lurking inside of them*

I have new pictures of my grand daughter (I don't post them publicly, only privately) and an update from my daughter. Her letter should be here by the 22nd of December.

Meanwhile, I have the custom Christmas card that I designed to send to her. I wanted something that showed my quirky personality.

These were the two choices to make the card from:



OR



I opted for the one with the Santa hat, and my crooked smile (that would be the first picture...)

I'll be back in a day or so....

That quote, on your first post, on the picture, "We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same."...

I am tearing up so much right now Maria. I mean, it's been a sensitive night for me in general...but that quote...bless you for it. Bless you for posting it. It's exactly what I needed to read. I've been working through a very difficult emotional time for over a year now and sometimes I want to give in, but I still work and pray and try to heal, and to read that, and know that I'm working towards making myself strong instead of wallowing in misery...

Just...thanks. Thanks for posting it. I know you didn't do it with me in mind, but thanks all the same. You have no idea how it has changed my night and filled me with more strength.

You're back!!!! Hooray! You've been greatly missed.

Another gloomy day outside…I REALLY have difficulty with sadness on days like this. Oh for the effects of SAD (Season Affective Disorder). Maybe I’ll ask Santa for a light box for Christmas?

Today is grocery shopping, studying (for Real Estate exam), and working on client’s web site as well as hand delivering the Christmas card and St. Christopher’s Medal to the adoption agency to send to my daughter.

Although I’m not Catholic, nor my mother, nor Sam….the medal was given to Sam by my late mother…

I have been reading your wonderful emails about your daughter. Your story really touched my heart in so many ways. It is so uplifting to hear about you getting to know your daughter and grand daughter. I know you were sad and lonely about the adoption, and I wish I could have been there for you. My life was a bit crazy back then too.

I remember a special time in 1977 when I came to visit, and was treated better than family. Your mother gave me something very special. It was St. Christopher (blessed by the Catholic Church). I didn’t believe in St. Christopher or the Catholic Church, but that wasn’t the point. Someone did something unselfish for me. Years later I made a comment that “the medal would be with me longer than my wedding ring. It is now more than 30 years later, and St. Christopher is still with me (my wedding ring is not). We traveled the lower 48 states together, and he was even with me during my Harley years when I covered 29 states!

I believe the power of love and family now needs to be passed on. Your mother and you will always be with me, but I would like St. Christopher be given to your daughter to someday be passed to your grand daughter.

It’s that one of the most beautiful things you’ve ever read?

Saturday I get to see one of my dear friends for a visit.
Sunday I get to go to Chuckie Cheese for one of my eight grand kids birthday party celebrations.

Edit: Okay, I'm back from the adoption agency dropping off the packet for my daughter. I figured out a way to cheer myself up on this gloomy day. I put on my favorite Winter sweater and took some fun pictures!

My Pause Moments

The Inner Child Peeks Through

WARNING! No makeup was worn in this picture...






Christmas Tree

Butterfly on my Christmas tree. Isn't it beautiful?


The Christmas Angel on top of my Christmas tree





Outside on this gloomy day

Old 'Tree Face'


Dead pine needles



My Best Friend

My handsome husband, Dan AKA Mr. Smiley.




Dogs

My handsome Charlie. (My doggies hang out with me in my office at my feet while I work.)

Hi Maria,

I am so glad you started another diary! You are SUCH an inspiration, I love and look up to your outlook on life.

Good ol' St. Chris is not only the patron saint of travelers, but bachelors as well. Your mom was obviously onto something. I think it's touching that he not only returned the medal to you after 30 years, but wanted it to be passed along. It's little gestures like that which reaffirm my faith in people.

I had a thought today about how I missed you being in diary land... did not expect to see you when I came here tonight, though!

Good to see you back. ((HUGS))

Yeay, Smiley is back.


Have you seen the movie, The Christmas Tree?
www.imdb.com . . .

Today's Pause Moments

Husband
I made my husband his favorite cookies today. Several dozen...actually!

Dogs
Today was pictures wearing a Santa hat for myself and my dogs. First, the dogs...

Annie -


Charlie -




Here's Annie without the hat -



Inner Child Moments
Me in the hat...






Dance (it brings such joy to me)








Christmas-y

The Christmas pictures are beautiful! I also love the picture of Annie without the hat--that ear flopping out is just irresistible. You look so wonderfully happy in your dancing pictures--if only the rest of the world could remember to tap into that joy on occasion!

Hope your holiday season has been as stress-free as possible!

Hey lady!

We should do something for Christmas.

Still want to do dinner?

GORGEOUS, you look GORGEOUS in those dancing pictures.

I love the ballerina ornament and the photo of it with the glass ball is perfectly Christmas-y.

As for your doggies, if I came to your house I'd be on the floor the whole time playing with them.

Merry Christmas!

Yay! Maria is back!

I must say I love to read your diary and catch up with your life...although I usually don't reply.

You're pictures are always gorgeous (yes, even the ones without makeup)

Have a Merry Christmas my dear!

~Jada

*hugs Jada*

Guess who did ballet in FRIGID outside temperatures today?
I also wrapped presents for the 8 grand kids.
I also finished decorating the Christmas tree.













There are LOTS more pictures, including Christmas socks, and finished Christmas decorations at www.dance.net . . .

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays!

Christmas Eve
Tomorrow Maggie and little M may come to visit me.
I have Christmas dinner with Dan's family at his ex-wife's house (weird, huh?) and then Church service at 8 p.m.

Christmas Day
Church service at 10:30 a.m.
Nisha coming over during the day.
Arturo stopping by with Ciara.
Evan coming for dinner!

Now, I'm off for a date with my husband.

You look beautiful in those pictures! I especially love the second one; the lines the dress makes are so graceful.

HOW did you survive taking pictures in this weather??? I could barely walk outside today and yesterday, it was so cold!

Maria, that dress is so YOU! So pretty!

Merry Christmas, Peace and Good Will!

I share with you, a portion of the trilogy that I’m writing…



This Chapter is my Christmas present to my husband. We don't have money to buy each other gifts this year, so I wrote this today and dedicate it to my loving husband, and my best friend, Dan.

Thank you Dan, for helping me learn to embrace MY inner child.

Enjoy Life's Journey!

Christmas Eve Breakfast

The early morning sun shone on the six furry friends cuddled on the blanket. It was the morning of Christmas Eve and the air was crisp and clear. Suddenly, a long white ear popped up from the middle of the furry pile. Of course, the first to awake was Airy, the very inquisitive bunny rabbit. She looked around and spotted Fish looking at her. Fish winked at her and said good morning. Airy smile and nodded her head to Fish in silent acknowledgment. Airy crept away from the sleeping group quietly walking into the Wood to gather fruits and berries for the morning breakfast.

Moments later three Labrador puppies emerged from the group. The two brothers Coal and Goldie (named for the color of their fur) poked their sister Coco to follow them to the path where the Christmas presents that they made were hidden.

Now, there were only two furry friends left on the blanket, and with the absence of the other warm bodies, they began to stir as well. Red and Cubby were all that remained. Red was the largest dog you could ever imagine. He was a gentle giant with a red coat, and a quick smile. Next to him was a young black bear cub named Cubby, who was still fast asleep. It was not unusual for Cubby to be the last one to awake.

Suddenly, there was a burst of activity from two different directions as the puppies ran back to the blanket followed by a breathless Airy. Each puppy carried a bundle and Airy was laden down with the morning breakfast. MERRY CHRISTMAS the four squealed at once causing Cubby to finally awaken with a low grrrr-ing sound.

Airy said, “well good morning all! I have brought us Christmas Eve breakfast” and with that she lay down the large bounty that she had been collecting onto the blanket.

Fish popped his head out of the pond for a better look, and the puppies all yelled, “Good Morning Fish!” The puppies each placed two bundles on the blanket. Cole being the older of the trio exclaimed, “we made you presents!” Coco carried a bundle over to the pond, carefully untying it revealed numerous colored pebbles. “Here Fish, she exclaimed we brought you some pretties to decorate your pond home!” Fish said thank you and proceeded to arrange the colored pebbles under the water. Airy hopped over with a scope of bright yellow corn pieces and said, “hey, Fish…I brought you Christmas Eve breakfast!” and she plopped them into the water for Fish to eat.

Goldie and Cole handed little bundles to Red, Airy, and Cubby and exchanged bundles with each other as well. The little bundles that the puppies carried contained various treasures that they had collected from the Wood for each of their friends for Christmas.

Cubby marveled at the honeycomb wrapped in leaves, while Red examined the magnificent piece of petrified wood that resembled his red barn at home. The puppies explained to Airy that the soft down bundle that she was given, was from an old bird’s nest and they thought it would make a soft addition to Airy’s underground warren.

A hush fellow over the field as the friends ate in silence with contemplative thoughts of Christmas.

Red announced that he needed to go home to see Horace and Carl the horse and cow he lived with in the red barn. They were going to re-enact the Nativity scene in honor of baby Jesus’ birth. The other puppies too needed to leave, so they could hurry home so they wouldn’t miss little Maria’s singing debut with the Church choir’s Christmas Eve celebration.

As the group dispersed, Cubby and Airy gathered up their things and headed into the Wood. You could hear the voices of all seven friends wishing each other a Merry Christmas, before going their separate ways for the night.

I hope you enjoyed the excerpt from the book that I'm writing.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Oh, Maggie and little M will be here any minute for Christmas presents!

I love the excerpt- It sounds like it'll turn into a great story!
It's so good to read about the happenings in Smiley-land again I'm glad that your daughter and you are still corresponding- I know it means so much to you.

Just READING your entries puts me in the Christmas spirit- Thank you!

Awww Maria, I missed you in Diaryland. But I am so happy to see that you are back! Your smily-ness is always welcome and appreciated. But of course we are here to help you with those few negative experiences that you may go through.

You look beautiful in all of your pictures - even the ones without makeup. And of course you puppies are adorable! Your green dress looks very elegant.

I hope you have a merry Christmas and I wish you the best for the new year!

By the way, my inner child is five.

I took 400 pictures at Christmas Eve family gathering tonight. Mr. Smiley LOVED the photographs I printed for him, the custom card, and the Christmas Eve story!

Lost my post...how irritating!

Starting again!

I saw Maggie and little M before Christmas. My husband's family Christmas celebration was on Christmas Eve. Nisha and Evan spent some time with me on Christmas Day.

The theme for my Christmas gifts this year was angels. I received an engraved angel from my husband, and angels from Nisha. Angels are a good thing!

Here are some family pictures from Christmas Eve.

The first picture is 5 of the 7 grand kids.


Here's my border collie, Charlie with his head on my lap Christmas Eve.


Here's Mr. & Mrs. Smileywoman




Me with my son, Evan


A WONDERFUL picture of Evan with Annie


Evan and Charlie


Another grand child, Micah (not pictured in the group shot above)


My husband, Santa Dan


One of our 7 kids, middle daughter Kristin


Eldest daughter, Sarah