Forum: Arts / Poetry

She Stands and He Never Notices ...poems I wrote for school
By teenagewitchmember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Sat Dec 20, 2008 04:08 PM
Edited by teenagewitch (156949) on 2008-12-20 16:12:17

She stands
Giddy with infatuation
Watching him through her eyelashes
Barely containing her feelings

She stands
Holding his hand in hers
Staring at him in adoration
Unable to believe what’s happening

She stands
His arms around her waist
Hot breath at her ear
Whispers of “I love you”

She stands
Frozen in disbelief
Eyes downcast with sadness
Heart beating in fear

She stands
Arms grasping him tightly
Tears staining her face
Begging him not to go

She stands
Framed in the doorway
Watching him walk away
A final goodbye

She stands
A lone silhouette in the window
Watching, forever waiting
Hoping her love will return

--------------

She sees him everyday
Greets him with a smile
No one knows her like he does
Yet she hides a secret behind her eyes
He never notices

Their hands may brush
And every time, she freezes
Her breath caught in her throat
Only for a flashing, heart-stopping moment
He never notices

Conversation flows, easily, comfortably,
But when it stops, her gaze may linger
Maybe a little too wistful.
Maybe for a moment too long,
He never notices

He tells her about the girl he’s in love with
Her beauty, her wit, her perfection
She listens, all the time smiling
Her heart aching, crumbling slowly,
He never notices

She sees him everyday
Greets him with a smile
No one knows her like he does
Yes, she hides a secret behind her eyes
He never notices

----------------------

They both ended up more dramatic then I anticipated. Thoughts?

2 Replies to She Stands and He Never Notices ...poems I wrote for school

re: She Stands and He Never Notices ...poems I wrote for school
By GrubbleBubblemember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Fri Dec 26, 2008 07:04 AM
The 2nd one, I adore. Maybe its because I've been there before. But I love it. Especially how its cyclical; as in the opening and the closing are the same.

The 1st is okay but not as good as the 2nd.
re: She Stands and He Never Notices ...poems I wrote for school
By YouSpinMe14
On Thu Feb 19, 2009 06:08 PM
These two poems are amazing! I like how the first one is a progression of events, but she's always standing there through it all. The second one really hits home, though. It's one of those poems that I think everyone can relate to. I'm a guy, but I still understand the feeling of both the guy and the girl, and I think that's what makes it so special. Great job, I really loved these.

ReplySendWatch

Powered by XP Experience Server.
Copyright ©1999-2019 XP.COM, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
XL
LG
MD
SM
XS
XL
LG
MD
SM
XS