This is awesome, I think it provides a nice checklist for any one who may be considering having sex.

I think the KEY part was "If you answered yes to ALL of them, you MIGHT be."
I'm sure that she is not saying if you answered yes, feel free to do it, because that's just not the case.
Great post!

Great post! Hopefully this will minimize these kinds of questions on the boards.

Sticky anyone?

Wow. That's really great.

I really like what they had to say about understanding anatomy and which parts are most sensitive. Education truly is power, if you take the time to learn about how your body acts and responds then you will probably have a better overall first experience.

Thanks for making this! I hope it really helps some of our younger members out!

*chants* STICKY STICKY STICKY!

very good post,

I totally agree that this needs to be a separate post.

Also, does anyone else think that we need a pregnancy FAQ somewhere? There may be one already and i've forgotten about it but I see so many "should I take the MAP" "could I be pregnant if ____ " posts that I think one is probably called for. I'd offer to write it myself but i'm not really that well known a member here.

^ I agree with that, and I definitely think it should be someone who's well-experienced with pregnancy (as a lot of our DDN members are) so it can be very accurate. If you've got the experience and the know-how, feel free to write it yourself - you don't have to be a well-known member!

Good thread - I'm glad this is a sticky. Peer pressure means teens younger and younger are having sex and it's a shame some of them probably couldn't even tick "yes" to ONE of those questions, let alone all ten. Hopefully your wise words will affect the decisions of a few DDNers for the better

^Perhaps I should leave it to someone who has been through a pregnancy, you're right. I do know quite a bit about pregnancy, I was seriously thinking of becoming a midwife so I did all the reading and then some, but someone who has given birth is better placed than me to write what I think is quite an important post. In any case if a FAQ does get written and the author isn't from the UK I can provide UK specific advice for where to go for help.

i agree!

this is very helpful.
thanks!

Great post! I wish I had someone who wrote about this for me when I was like 13! well done

1. Am I doing this because I genuinely want to, not because I think I should to please either my partner or my friends?
-yes.
2. Do I know my partner well enough?
-2 years
3. Do I feel comfortable enough to do this sober?
-yes
4. Do I know enough about sex? Do I understand my anatomy, my partner's anatomy, how sex works and which parts of my body are the most sensitive?
-gr. 4 health classes
5. Do I understand the risks of sexually transmitted diseases,
HIV and pregnancy, and how to minimize those risks?
-yes
6. When I’m older, will I be glad I lost my virginity at this age and in this way?
-i hope so
7. Can I talk to my partner about sex and contraception? Can I use words like penis and vagina, and explain what feels good to me?
-yes
8. Do I have a condom, and know how to use it? As well as a second method of contraception?
-yes, and they cost me 10$!!
9. Does this fit in with my beliefs?
-agnostic, so yes
10. Is it legal in my state?
-province. and yes.

such a great sticky. I really hope people read this first.

This is a really great idea to post on the internet. I bet you have influenced lost of people not to have sex. i'll give you a gold star! XD

^Thanks, but I should remind everyone that the intent of this isn't to stop people or scare people from having sex. It is to provide a loose guideline to when most people are mature enough to handle sex, and something that you should consider before having it for the first time. I know I've gone off on this before, but I feel so many people automatically say that you should wait until you are 16/an adult/marriage/when you are truly in love/whenever you can just get it over with with a random/etc. The fact is, none of those neccesarily equal maturity and intelligence, and not being one of those doesn't neccesarily mean you aren't mature and intelligent. You can be 15 and meet every requirement here or you can be 30 and not even close. People are different, people should make different choices. Whatever works best for them.

I think everyone, should be comfortable enough with their partner, and take steps towards sex. Not to rush into something, to prove a point, to others or yourself. Sex is a big thing, and you just can't go back to holding hands. Things resulting from sex can happen, if you don't take proper precautions. Pregnancy, STD, STI, HIV, can result. So you must know, to protect yourself, before taking such a big commitment. It should be with someone you love, not just a one night stand.

Is there a thred anywhere on how to ask you mom/dad about going on the pill?

LaDiva_ wrote:

It should be with someone you love, not just a one night stand.

The entire point of me starting this thread was because that is a myth, and an extremely irresponsible one to live by at that. There is a difference between love and trust, safety, and maturity. You can love someone and not trust them enough for sex and not be mature and safe enought to handle that. Stupid kids (and really,stupid adults too) think they're in serious love and should automatically be having sex because love=sex. You can have strong, loving feelings for someone and still not trust them fully for sex. On the other hand, some mature, safe people miss out on what could be an extremely fufilling sexual relationship with someone they trust because they don't fancy themselves in love. Some people have the maturity to handle one night stands. Some people need to be in love, whatever that means to them. You cannot apply the same logic to everyone.

I also really hate the whole "you can't go back to holding hands once you have sex" thingy. Of course you can. If you don't want to, don't, but you don't become an unstoppable sex robot once you start.

Is there a thred anywhere on how to ask you mom/dad about going on the pill?

If you tell us more about your relationship with your mom and why you want the pill, maybe I or someone else could help you.

This would of been super helpful for myself and friends when we were younger, I'm glad teens have access to this type of thread so they can make better informed decisions.

I know that I am ready to have sex when I find someone I love, but how do you not turn something amazing into something regretful. And when I mean regretful I mean like over thinking something as amazing as sex. I know that everyone should go through a sort of checklist and I am confident but I tend to over think things. So how do I no do that?

Sorry I don't make any sense!

Very well Siad ! Well done