My assistant ALWAYS has some kind of ailment or problem. She has the heart for dance but I think she is so lazy that once she gets to class, she wants to bring up an excuse as to why she doesn't work hard. I can go on and on with examples of her laziness.

Her latest problem is some kind of back disorder. She said she's been going to the chiropractor and he told her "she should never dance again". This same night I told her to just sit down and play the music for me because she was complaining about the pain. Well when it was time for her class, she was all excited and jumping up and down ready to dance because we were trying on costumes. Needless to say, I made her stay seated (but still let her try on the costume) I really want to believe her but she has cried wolf so many times that it's hard to give her genuine sympathy.

She is 18 so she wont be taking classes next year but she says she still wants to come back and assist. I want to tell her... if you can't dance...then you DEFINITELY can not assist me. In my opinion, sometimes the assistant should be on their toes and more prepared than the teacher! And she's definitly not that.

If it were up to me, I would have let her go in January, but I don't want to hurt the girl's feelings. SO HERE'S MY QUESTION: How do I tell her she can't come back to assist next year?? The easy thing to say is "I'm afraid you are going to hurt your back even more..." but then I know she will say "she loves dance too much and will take that chance".

HELP!?!

I would be honest with her. I know you don't want to hurt her feelings but the best way to go about it is to be upfront. Tell her that although you think her heart is there, she isn't performing the tasks that you need her to be in order to let her come back. You can tell her that you are concerned for her health and you want to prevent her from having any longterm complications from dance, but that she isn't providing what you need out of a good assistant. Maybe if you are straight forward about what your looking for she'll whip in to shape. If her heart is in it, there is a good chance she will improve if you come out and tell her need more than what she is offerring.

If you don't want to tell her, then just tell her that you want to give another student the opportunity to assist next year. I'm sure there are other students who have alot to offer. Let her know that you appreciated her help this year but that you want to offer someone else the chance at this apportunity in the future.

I'm a firm believer that when an assistant makes my life more challenging than easier, than it is time to let her go. You are making the right decision in this case.

She's 18 and a big girl; it's time to treat her as one. What are the job duties of your assistants? Which ones of these is she completing and which ones is she failing to complete? It doesn't matter the reasoning, if she isn't completing the job than it is not getting done. If you want to give her the opportunity to improve, I would set up a meeting and do a job performance review. As you would with any other employee (doesn't matter if she's volunteering), lay it all out on the table. Let her know ways that she could improve and what she is doing well. Then see how the remainder of the year goes. Let her know that this will be dependent on whether she will be asked to return in the fall. You'll have your answer then.

If you do decide to not have her return (whether you decide now or after this trial improvement period), just give the facts. You need an assistant who is able to do XYZ, however she is only giving you X. Let her know that you are going to have to go with another assistant at this time.

Honestly, this lesson could be priceless for her. No matter what she may go on to do with her life, she needs to learn to do a job's duties to their fullest... no excuses.

It's not that she has a whole lot of duties and she doesn't complain about her job or what she has to do. She just always has to complain about SOMETHING when she comes in and the complaining continues throughout the night. For instance, last week, Someone was making fun of her at school so she complained about that alllll night. Or she will feel sick so she will mope around all night and try to get people to feel sorry for her.

And she doesn't use common sense sometimes. My 5-6 yr olds are doing a dance where they start off stage (1/2 on one side and 1/2 on other) They come in doing heel steps and my assistant was doing them veerrryyyy sloppy (not picking up the foot between the heel and step) So of course, the girls on her side of the room were copying her. I stopped the music and called her out and told her she needed to do them right because the girls were watching her. So then I show everyone the correct way and restart the music. Well I had some on my side and several on her side still doing them wrong. So I stop the music, and go to give one on one time to the couple that need extra help on my side of the room. I look over and she's just standing there. In my opinion, she should have been showing the girls on her side.

I just feel like she doesn't take initiative or use her time wisely and it drives me insane.

Am I expecting too much from her? I mean, if she were 13 or 14 I could understand a little better....but she's 18!!!!

No, you are not expecting too much from her at all. as DDancingpsych said, she is 18, she is an adult for goodness sake! I would expect a 13 or 14 year old assistant to behave that way, but definitely not an adult assistant. If you have clearly defined her responsibilities to her and she still isn't up to par, the only thing you can do is tell her what she is doing isn't cutting it and you won't be needing her assistance next year. Some people don't just up and take initiative, you have to tell them. A great assistant would know automatically to follow your lead and help her side, but some people don't pick up on those things. I think that she might need a clear outline of what is expected from her, because she doesn't seem to be picking up on that. You can also tell her that although you enjoy talking with her, we need to keep discussions in the room professional, so whining or talking about personal issues isn't something that can continue. I hope whatever you decide it works out for you, it sounds to me like you have an 18 year old student in your 5 year old classroom.

Keep in mind that her responsibilities don't just include those things that can be easily identifiable. She is also responsible for having a positive attitude in class. For demonstrating proper technique clearly. To help you reach all students in the class, especially when you are busy with one or a group. So if you want change, you need to identify these to her.

Being honoust is the right way, but if you don't want to hear her say that she really wants to stay, tell her you already found someone else for the job. DO find someone else for the job now. Better sooner than later.
The moment for the new one to start.... well discuss it with the new one, focus on her from now on. You could work with two assistants for a while, let the 'old' one tell the new one what to do. Or just let the new one do what the old one can't do anymore because of her back.

bayadere93 wrote:

You could work with two assistants for a while, let the 'old' one tell the new one what to do.

I would like to politely disagree. The problem stems from a misunderstanding of her job duties (or in a lack of desire to complete them properly). I think if you are going to have a new assistant, you will want to train the new one yourself. Don't let the new one learn the current gal's mistakes. She will start modeling the same behavior and you will, once again, end up with an assistant who is complaining about life during class.

I would get rid of her now or at least have a serious talk with her. She's 18, you don't need to sugar coat it or make up an excuse as to why you don't want her back. She should be told exactly why. It's time for her to have an awakening to the real world. In any other job (paid or not) if she was doing a bad job, the boss would call her out on it and if it continued there would be consequences. Is this case, you're the boss and action needs to be taken one way or another.

I wouldnt try not to hurt her feelings, I would be completely honest. She is a young adult and needs to learn the way things work in the adult world. If you cant do the job it is giiven to someone else.

Let her her know what you expect of a teacher and an assitant and that she is not living up to it. Say yes, you know she is injured but if she cant fulfill the requirements she cant do the job.

I would be honest. She's not fulfilling her duties, plain and simple. Also, is there a reason she's not coming back as a student next year? In telling her that she's not working out as an assistant, you could tell her that you still think she's a wonderful dancer, and you'd like her to continue as a student, but she is just not cutting it as an assistant.

Also, on a lighter note, when I am on a different tab on my browser, the title of this tab reads like this: "Need advice on lazy ass..."

She is not coming back as a student because I teach for a recreational group and they set it up as a sort of "club" Once you turn 18, you are no longer in the age requirements.

this may come as a shock but she does get paid hourly. A whopping $6 an hour. In my opinion, she should not be paid for NOT doing her job. But they are so laid back that I'm afraid I will be making a big deal out of nothing.

When I had my school, they had a strict agreement and requirements to be an assistant. They were not paid but received a small stipend towards their tuition. Lazy did not cut it and third strike they were out and could not get another chance at doing it again. Once out, they were out.

Why are you afraid to hurt her feelings? If your own child was doing something wrong, would you be more concerned with her learning a lesson or her feelings hurt?

I would have a talk with her, give her one last chance and if she does not straighten up and fly right, then she is out.

I had the teachers sign their paysheets each week and if they came in late, it was noted and they were to let me know of any issues, right away. If they came late, they were docked. Third time late (or missing, for any reason), they lost that class.

I would tell her that next year, you would like to give dancers who are current students an opportunity to assist. Maybe let her know she can come in to sub for one of them once in a while, but you feel that it is only fair that you give the chance to students who are currently dancing with the studio.

Well, I was still nervous when I went to class last night. I texted her an hour before class to make sure she would be there on time. She said yes. THEN she waltzes in 5 minutes after class starts. our 3rd and final class she gets to complaining about her back so I told her to sit down. A couple of minutes later I see her in the back laughing with a parent AND (get this) twirling around and jumping!!!! So I called her out right in front of everyone (which I probably shouldn't have done) and said "Miss **, You need to come over here and learn this dance, please" So that was the last straw. At the end of class I had a couple of girls trying on costumes and she asked if she could go ahead and go and I said no, you need to stay because we need to talk. Once everyone left, here is basically what I said:

"I need to know what your plans are with assisting my classes because as of right now, this system is NOT working. This is a job and you need to treat it like one. Most assistants your age do not even get paid. I have to look out for the better interest of the company and when I have an assistant sitting out most of the time and still getting paid for it, something is wrong. If your back is hurting or you are sick, go home, you are no longer allowed to sit up here and get paid for it. You need to start taking notes on the dances because come recital time, you will be on the opposite side of the stage as me and will not be able to use my notes. You ALSO need to start coming in on time. When I say ON TIME, that means AT LEAST 10 minutes before class starts to set up. If you feel like you can not take these responsibilities, then I need to know now because I can not teach these classes without an INVOLVED assistant. You have not impressed me this year and as of right now, I will not be asking you back"

I was sooo surprised at how stern I was able to be. But I think her actions last night fueled the fire for me. Needless to say, she said she will work on her actions. I am going to give her 2 weeks to prove to me she can do this... if not, she's out the door. As soon as she got in her car to leave she was on the phone so we will see.... I'll keep you guys posted.

Good for you!! I cannot believe she pulls this stuff and thinks that it is okay. I had one student who had missed a lot but they were really good, otherwise. She was, of course, released but where do some of these kids think that this is worth a paycheck?

Bravo! I like that you were straightforward and honest. No lame excuses needed. I also liked that you took the time to point out where her errors are and how to correct them. I also like that you have mentally set a timeline to look for improvement. Hopefully you will see some real effort on her part and this will be a great lesson for her. I hope that come recital time, you are wondering what you ever did without her!!!