I have this 11 year old who wants to do pointe'. She only weighs 62 lbs and does not have any muscle what so ever. The mother keeps at me all the time about putting her on pointe' I keep telling her she is not ready and I am not going to be responsible for her getting hurt, but week after week this woman keeps at me. I am so frustrated I have given her every reason as to why she should not be on pointe' yet the mother will not take no for an answer. Should I get nasty about it or what. I dont want to lose the student and I know if she goes else where, someone else will cave and this child will end up injured. Please give me some advise.

If this mother is not interested in the welfare of her own child (and it does sound like SHE is the one that really want to be en pointe not the daughter!) then I would cut her out. She will be trouble. Say, I'm sorry but we don't offer what you are looking for. Good luck elsewhere. This mom is going to be nothing but trouble and her daughter will be nothing but injured! No thank you.

You want to keep the child, but with a mom like that I'm usually also more of the 'let her go!'crew.

I would try something like telling the mother: "Do you trust me as a teacher?" (believe me, she will say 'yes'). "Then you must trust me and accept my 'no' untill I think your daughter is ready."

Or say to the daugther: "I think you are not ready for pointes yet. You need to work on ..... before I will take pointes for you in consideration." And when mom comes to you, tell her: "Your daughter knows why I won't let her do pointes yet and what she needs to work on. It is absolutely no use to come to me anymore."

I really have to agree with the above poster. I understand not wanting to loose a student, especially in these difficult times, but sometimes that is the best thing for you. You indicated you have already given her several reasons why her daughter is not able to be on pointe and it seems as though she isn't responding to anything. I would talk with her the next time she brings it up, and reiterate all of the reasons why she is unable to do point right now. Make sure that she understands that your not saying she will NEVER be able to do it, but right now it is not healthy for her body and she is not physically ready for that. Parents always try to tell us what is best, but remember that when it comes to this, YOU are the professional, not her mother. Mom has no clue what goes into being on pointe or the fact that her daughter could be permanently injurred by doing it. Perhaps you should suggest some additional classes she could take now to help prepare her for point in the future. Enroll her in some additional ballet, a technique class if you have it, get her started with strengthening exercises even. There isn't anything wrong with preparing her for it, but stick to your guns and don't let her do it. You know what is best for her in this. If the mom really wants her to do it now, let her go somewhere else. Of course we never want anything to happen to our students, but if they let her on somewhere else at least it will not be any fault of your own.

Send her for a medical evaluation with a Dr or physical therapist you are familiar with. Perhaps call ahead to the office and explain the situation and why you are sending the student for an evaluation.

No medical professional that knows anything about ballet or pointe work would ever recommend a child in her situation for pointe work.

Then you'll have the medical evaluation and your professional opinion to back your decision. If the mom pushes further tell her goodbye.