Today it was raining, so my campers were driven to camp. Normally they walk, as the summer daycamp is only a few blocks away.

One little girl bounces in a proudly announces "we brough the semi today!" LOL! Or a 15 passenger van.

This wasn't a child, but the child's dad--years ago when I was teaching and you always wore a leotard and tights, and hair pulled off the face--remember that!! well I was at the store with my husband - of course street cloths and hair down, and this father yells hey ms---I did not know that was you with your cloths on!!!---i thought could you say that again, maybe my husband and the whole store did not hear you----

I was dropping my daughter off at daycamp and overheard this gem.

Little Girl: I am 6. I used to be 5, but now I am 6 and get to go to kindergarden.
Camp Worker (cute n sassy teen): That's so great! I just had a birthday. How old do you think I am?
LG: 48?
CW: I just turned 16.
LG: Ohhh, that was my next guess!

I am in my 30's and was not going to ask what this little giblet would put me at. Probably 162.

Normally I do splits with my beginner classes, but last year I was very pregnant with my second child and a little girl who had been in class the year before asked why I wasn't doing the move with them, and I said "because I have a baby in my tummy and it might upset the baby." In response another little 5 year old looked at me serious as night and informed me "Babies live in your uterus - not your tummy. You should know that by now."
Do I need to mention she was the child of a doctor?

The funniest thing happened in the class of 6/7 year olds that I student teach. The teacher had just thrown out a CD that she no longer needed and three of the little girls start yelling, "are you crazy! you're supposed to be recycling! You're destroying the Earth!" and going on and on about it! I was dying!

I was cleaning my studio one day and the kids, ages 2, 4 and 6, were in the dance room playing with hula hoops and "hoppity-hops" while I scrubbed the bathroom.

The 6 year old called for me to, "COME QUICK". I dropped the toilet brush, closed the bathroom door and rushed into the dance room...

"I have a good idea, he said. We'll hold these hula hoops up in the air like this, and you can jump through them"

I didn't know what to say....

I just love kids...it's hard to let them grow up
xoxo

Earlier this year soon after the election in my 5/6 year-old class they were at the barre and we were doing battement tedu jete to the back... I was saying over and over with lots of emphasis, "Battement close, battement close, battement close... " In the middle this little girl perked up with excitment and turned around and said "Barack Obama is the President!" I laughed out loud, I couldn't help it. Well she may not have her ballet terms down, but she does know her current events

I thought of a few others as I was reading this... this are a little off, but they make me laugh!

-I noticed a little girl had taken her hair down and I was trying to ignore her, then the next time I looked at her she had tied her hair rubber band around the crotch of her leotard... I said "Grace is that where that goes!" Then I laughed in my head, like what the!

-In my 3 year-old class a little girl passed gas and I was just trying to ignore it, then another little girl looked at her and said "Did you just Fart!" Then another girl looked at me and said very concerned "What is Fart?... Miss____ What is Fart?" I just ignored them and continued teaching, but I was laughing thinking oh no I hope these kids don't go home and tell mom what they learned in class!

-In a twirling class with really little girls I was having them do a "dish rag" holding batons with a partner. I told the girls to get a partner and try it. One little girl looked at the girl beside her and said, "Ok, let's go do the douche bag"... I tried to just ignore it horrified that this little girl knew that term, but then she kept saying it.... oh that one still makes my husband laugh

In my 4-5yr old class a little girl came in late. I asked her to put her things away and get ready because we had already started stretching. She slowly crept up on one of the other girls and leaned in and goes "pssst...pssst" the other little says "what!?" the first little girl asks "will you be my friend?" and other little girls says with a confused look on her face " yeah" the first little girl gets really excited and slaps her across the face. I turn around and say " We don't hit! That is not very nice!" She looked at me puzzled like she didn't understand why she was getting in trouble and says, " I didn't hit her I high fived her face!"

I was teaching a combo to a class of 5yr olds and a littel girl was not understanding. I was standing next to her and I said "like this, try to look just like me." she replies " ooohhh.... I didn't get it because you were standing next to me (pointing at her eye and as serious as all get out) I got's a lazy eye"

My first day of ever teaching my very first class was assist. a Pee Wee competitive group that was very hands on, in your business, have to know your whole life story in a matter of 2.3 seconds. I walk in and they swarmed me, tugging on my clothes asking questions, hanging on my arms and legs. I has wearing a zip up hoodie with a tank underneath (thank goodness). A little girl proceeds to rip the zipper to my jacket ope and says "whats under here!!!?" almost immediately after that, a little girl wanting to see my hot pants that are under my sweats, depantsed me under wear and all! I was so embarrassed I couldn't do anything but laugh they all ran and lined up against the wall as if they just got into serious trouble. at this point the owner walks in to see how things are going and I explain what happened, as we both are in tears from laughing we over hear the girls talking "well thats what you look like when you get older" the other little girl "but theres hair down there...?" she responds "well thats what my mom looks like" the other like girl who still can't quit fathom ".....but theres hair down there...?" most embarrassing moment of my life!

We have a book at the studio that we keep record off all the funny things our kids say. I'll have to go through it and see what else I can find.

I had a funny one from one of my little 7 year olds. She did her steps across the floor really badly, doing them in the wrong order. This child is very capable and I knew she could do them much better, so I told her to "do it again".

So she went back and did them just as badly and incorrectly again, and I said "what are you doing?"

She looked at me with a cheeky grin and said "But you said to do it again".

I have one of my seven year old asked me if I was married, and I then replied with no, then she went on to ask "dont you have to be married to be a teacher"? I was laughing so hard.

Another little one in the same class asked me how old I was, then I went on to say I was 22, and then she asked me if I had a boyfriend, I then said no. She went on to say "but my sister is that age and has a boyfriend why dont you"? No idea on how to even begin to answer that.

GonnaBeAStar wrote:

Tonight in class, a little one came up to my SO and said 'Guess what? It's my sister's birthday this year!'
Lol I was in stitches!

hahahah love it...THIS YEAR...LOL.

We had just finished explaining about the 3 strikes and you're out rule. We asked if there were any questions, and the little girl next standing next to me raised her hand. I called on her and she started staring me down. She goes, "Ummmm.... I love you!!!!" and grabs me in this huge hug and won't let go for at least a minute. Tooooo cute.

So when you are in 6th grade you move up into our "big kid" division that runs 6th-12th grade. At registration today I was explaining the bra rule of the older classes "it needs to match your leo or be flesh colored if we can see it. we prefer sports bras, but i want you to feel comfortable without putting your undergarments on display" The mother asks if this is a problem normally I explain, "You'd be suprised how many neon, lacey or skull and cross bone with pink kiss mark bras i have to deal with" another parent, "oh yes they so want to express their sexuality", 5 year-old says "what's sexuality?" 6th grader turns and replies 'don't worry, we don't have it yet" I was so close to peeing myself

I don't assistant teach any more but I used to. It was for a beginner hip hop (ages 10 and under) class and oh boy, were some of those kids crazy. One of them (I'll call her Sally) was especially crazy. I wish I had found DDN back when I did assistant teach because I'd have been on here every Friday with a new story from her. Let's see what I do remember...

It was my first day and my teacher let them have a water break while she went to the bathroom. As soon as she left, Sally says "I'm the devil and I'll tell you why!" The girl sitting next to her then asks why and Sally whispers something in her ear. Then the girl goes "You pooped in the bathtub?!" When my teacher walked back in, one of the other girls shouts "[Teacher], guess what! Sally pooped in the bathtub!"

One day, Sally stuck a piece of her hair straight up and ran around yelling "Look at me- I'm a unicorn!"

The class did their recital dance to Let's Dance by Miley Cyrus. There's a line in the beginning of the song that goes "The moon is low in the sky." Sally asked me and my teacher if we could make a giant wooden moon and lower it by rope for that part of the song. She was not happy when my teacher told her that that was quite a bit of work to do for just one line in the song.

Once, my teacher divided the class into two groups. One went with her and the other went with me and we each had to teach our group a small routine. At the end of my group's routine, I told them they could do any pose they wanted. Sally then says "Instead of doing a pose, I think we should all jump up and down and say our names." The way she said it made it so hard for me not to laugh.

One day during the summer, my studio owner brought in our recital pictures that had just come in. Sally was no longer in the class at this point but her pictures were in the pile. All the other girls start freaking out "How is Sally going to get her pictures?" "Oh no, this is terrible!" "What are we going to do?" They were all very concerned about Sally not being able to get her pictures so to calm them down, I said "I'm sure Sally's mom will come in and pick them up for her" to which one little girl replied "But she can't!" When I asked why not, the girl said "She moved! She lives in [next town over] now!"

As funny as Sally was, she was the trouble maker in class and drove both me and my teacher nuts (although we look back on this now and laugh). One day, Sally's dad came in to pick her up and saw me. He then asks my teacher why there's a 12 year old in the class for kids ages 10 and under to which my teacher replies "She's actually 15 and she's my assistant." The dad then asks if I'd be interested in babysitting Sally sometime. *Blank stare from me* Luckily my teacher stepped in and said "Oh, [BgirlDoesBallet] is really busy. Aside from dancing, she has a job and driver's ed so she probably doesn't have time, right [BgirlDoesBallet]?" Right! I still love my teacher for that. 60 minutes a week was more than enough Sally for me.

Although I don't help teach any more , my class was still right after that one for awhile so I do have two more quick non-Sally related stories:

There was this one boy in the class who was 11 and would always try to hit on me- it was so funny. He would also tell me about how his high school aged brother always had sex with his girlfriend in this kid's room when his parents weren't home. Guess whose brother got their 17 year old girlfriend pregnant?

Two days ago, I walked into class a few minutes early so the other class was still going on. It was the first class of the year so most of the kids were new. One of them walks up to my teacher and says "This is pure torture!" I wonder if she'll be back next week.

Oh, I miss assistant teaching now. These stories have got me all nostalgic...

EDIT: Shortgirl75's story reminded me of another. It's actually something that happened in one of my classes. I go to a really small studio and am the only teenager there so even though I'm in the most advanced hip hop class, my classmates are quite a bit younger than me. It was a new session so we had some new people. My teacher had us all write down our name and age on a list even if she already knew us. Another girl from the class offered to write my name for me. She asked me how I spell my name and I tell her. Then when she gets to the age column, instead of asking me how old I am, she takes one look at me, writes down 138, and hands it to my teacher who just laughed when she saw it.

Last week a girl who ive never taught before came up to me and asked "is it true that you got fired?!"
...fired from WHAT?! and where did you hear this from?!

The other day when I was waiting for class to start, I over heard some girls talking:

Girl A: *rolling up waistband of shorts* I hate these shorts, they're so long.
Girl B: Oh my God! Stop rolling up your shorts- I can see... it.
Girl A: You did not see my vagina!
Girl B: Yeah I did! I saw all of it.

Yesterday we were learning choreography for our upcoming Holiday Show and this cute 7 year-old raises her hand and says, "excuse me but I am left handed that's why i'm having trouble doing this turn to the right so i'm going to have to do it to the left ok." I just started laughing told her she was really cute and I was going to start using that excuse from now on. I'm sorry officer I know there is no left turn here...but you see I am left handed so I can only turn left. HaHa! Kids are so cute

Just finished going over new choreography. I asked if anyone had any questions. Her hand shot up and said Miss Shannon I have a question. What is your first name?

My fault for not clarifying questions about the choreography. I asked what she thought my first name was and she said I know Miss Christy name is Christy so maybe that's your name to.