Granted but instead you have really oily skin.

I wish I could be on a TV show.

Granted! You are not on fear factor, having to do dangerous stunts and eat things like cow noses, bugs and bird fetuses.




I wish I will do an amazing job at the next upcoming dance performance.

Granted but you become so famous due to it that the National Enquirer digs up dirt on you and then prints part truth and lots of made up stuff and you have to sue.

wish I could sew.

Granted, but while making your first fabulous garment you prick your finger with the eedle and bleed alloverthe beautiful fabric.

I wish it would stop raining!

PS...Pardon my bad typing. Im trying to get used to this new iPad touch screen!

Granted but now instead of flooding you have a drought!

I wish for a bowl of ice cream.

Granted, but the ice cream turns out to be loaded with chopped sardines and anchovies!

I wish I could totally redcorate my house.

Granted! Your new wall colour is peeyellow, your new carpets are puke green, and your furniture is a delightful rusty brown made out of old human hair.



I wish I had green eyes.

Granted but now when you look at things, everything looks a funky shade of florescent green!

I wish someone would do my nails for me.

Wiish granted, but the manicurist uses dirty tools and you get a bad fungal infection aand your nails fall off!

I wish someone would come and wash my car for me.

Wiish granted, but the manicurist uses dirty tools and you get a bad fungal infection aand your nails fall off!

I wish someone would come and wash my car for me.

Granted, but as soon as it's washed a bunch of birds poop all over it and a cat & dog w/dirty paws walk all over it.

I wish to get my hair cut & colored. It needs it.

Granted, but the hairstylist is in a foul mood that day and you end up with a shaved head and your scalp dyed a funky shade of green.

I wish my poor old back didnt ache so much when the weather is damp and rainy.

Granted. Instead your knees almost buckle under you when it rains.

I wish for a billion dollars.

Granted, but you are kidnapped and held for a huge amount of ransom.. And your family is worried to death about your safety.

I wish I coild train myself to become a morning person instead off the night owl that I have always been.

Granted but now instead of sleeping all night you go to bed at 2 and wake up at 5 every morning to start your day.

I wish for a big screen TV.

Granted! But you are only allowed ONE channel, ever.





I wish I could go to the London Olympics and watch all the sports!

Granted but the fish and chips you are eating give you the runs and the nearest bathroom isn't so near.

I wish for a really cool costume for dance this year.

Granted! Your costume is Kermit the Frog.




I wish my cat hadn't just sneezed on my food just now LOL

Granted but your dog just threw up in your food. Now you really don't want to eat it! LOL

I wish for a slice of pizza.

Granted, but all the toppings are things you hate, and the crust is burnt!

I wish spring would come early this year.

Granted. It will come tomorrow and w/it will be lots of spring rain and flooding. Don't you wish Spring waited? LOL

I would love a new watch.

Granted. you get a very expensive new Rolex watch (after saving up for it for a long time)but the first time you wear it someone robs you and steals it.

I wish no one ever had get sick or die (people and pets).

Granted but now that everyone has lived forever, everyone has Dementia and life as we no it is no longer normal.

I wish for a new computer.

Granted - it comes with 10 viruses.





I wish for some cookies.

Granted but the chocolate chips are actually ants.

I wish for a trip to England.