I am uncertain how to handle this situation. Anyone with advise plese help!
Just came back from a competition where one student who works very hard got high awards on solos and took overall awards as well. Another student, who also works hard, took Gold but no overalls. Now there is strife since one told the other "my solos are better than yours and always will be" - of course there were tears.
Both are in group dances as well and have talked about how one of the others "holds them back". Not so - she is the one who is solid and never is off time and never makes a mistake in the choreography. Granted does not have as much flexibility but they all have postives and negatives.
Sorry, don't want to rant but I am at a loss how to restore peace and friendship.

Ouch !
I would give a ban from competition to anyone who made those sorts of comments.
Queen B**** comments can't be allowed and they have to be aware that if it happens again, further action will be taken.

I agree. Come down hard and fast on this type of Diva conduct. If you know who the offending party is then I would address that person one on one with no question as to the immediate consequences if they don't shape up as of right now! You might not be able to restore friendship if the troublemaker considers the other dancer a threat. She has identified her as the enemy but you may be able to restore peace.
There will more than often not be at least one Diva/Instigator in every competing team and the challenge is keeping them from morphing into a Team Destroyer. Good Luck!

Talk to them, and tell them that if you hear it again, you will take their awards away. Then follow through if you have to- competition is about team work and appreciating what you got, if they don't appreciate it they shouldnt be allowed to keep it. It sounds harsh but sometimes with this behavior you have to be harsh.

Did you actually hear the child say those words? If not, take it with a grain of salt. I would perhaps speak with her alone and ask what she DID say....
Where there are teen girls there is drama....some of them carry it right into their adult lives! I don't care how many team building exersizes you do- at some point the natives get restless as do their parents. All you can do is refuse to tolerate behavior that deteriorates the morale of your team and dismiss anyone who cannot abide by that. Just be careful of the he said/she said stuff. Teen girls are also notorious exaggerators. If you don't hear it with your own ears don't assume that A) that was what was said B) that is HOW it was said or C) that it was said at all!

Exactly what Bisou said!

And once the moms get involved, it becomes even worse. Where there's girls, there will be drama lol.

Go straight to the source and nip it in the butt. You need to make it known that the "Diva" attitude is not allowed within your team. We have a contract that the girls must sign before the season starts, stating that this attitude will not be allowed, and if it is present than competitions will not even be in sight. It is in girls nature to be competitive, but it is wrong when it is within the team.

Thanks everyone - I overheard the girls talking, not every word but enough to know that this is what was said and yes, recognized the voices. I was so shocked that I could not believe it. I often talk about team work and the fact that each one of them have strengths and weaknesses and they each have value within the team. I will have to talk to each one and "lay down the law" so to speak. This is a good team and I do not want it to be ruined.

My team kids all sign a contract at the beginning of the year that basically lays out that I don't deal with attitudes. And it's literally one strike and you're out. I tell them I don't deal with drama and you will like everyone. So far so good! They also know that they won't get to do a solo ever again. My parents also read it and sign it.

As soon as it came out of the offenders mouth would have been the perfect time for a very stern talking to....

I'm not going to beat around the bush, shut it down and shut it down now. Address it immediately so it can behind everyone, then put the rules in the team by-laws. If you don't have them create them, and make them sign it along with their parents.

I do the 3 strikes you're out rule:

1)That includes talking about each other
2)Arguing
3)Intentionally bringing the team moral down
4)Missing rehersals
5)Coming to class un-prepared
6)Arriving late to any studio event and etc.

I had this problem I nipped in the bud right there, told them to get it together or don't come back. They chose to not return my SO was furious, did I care no. I knew overall that it was best for the class, group and team. I stood my ground to my SO and everyone else.

Oh, and last year the team doubled in size with very talented dancers that worked hard, had great attitudes and parents that were supportive in more than one way.

That is something that I address right up front. I tell them, at the initial meeting, that this sort of behavior is unacceptable. This is life, this is how life will always be, this is how dance will always be, if they cannot deal with it, they are not material for a competition team.

Basically it is take the heat or get out of the kitchen. No explanations are needed. State the facts, either the whining and stuff stops or they will be taken off. That is more important than how well they dance, is how well they act like good humans.

We put a student on a 3-month probation for a fraction of the offense. Something like this is a 0-tolerance item for us, although our girls know the ground rules.

I found it was best not to give a second chance. Is that harsh? Well, think of real life, or at least how it should be. Most times, you get no second chances and what better way to teach a child that you reap what you sow.

I had a mother come to me, once, after I tossed a family out of the studio, and say, "Please tell me if I do anything wrong because I do not want my kids taken from this school."

I said, "You will know, because the same would happen to you."

Basically, if they do not know/understand the rules, that was their responsibility to make sure that they did. I hate the, "I did not know," whine. Ignorance of the law is not an excuse and truthfully, I found that once you do it, others will think, "Oh, poop! I had better be good!"