I think I am generally a nice person and nice to my students, however, I can get a bit frustrated with them when either a) they aren't paying attention b) they are late for class constantly c) they are not practicing their routines at home, ever d) they are not in dress code e they are talking in class and being disruptive. I could go on and on, but these are the main ones. The common theme here is that when kids break the rules, I get a little snippy with them (not sure if that is the best word to use). We have had some students leave this year and say that I am too mean, majority of which are the ones that break the rules. The few that left that were pretty good kids are sort of followers and are getting gossip about how mean I am, even though they may not think that themselves. I question myself sometimes on how I react to situations. I certainly feel that most of my reactions are called for. I really don't feel that I am that mean, but everyone gets frustrated sometimes, right? Has anyone else ever gone through this? What is your personality when you teach? strict? fun and carefree? What is the right mix? The students need discipline, its part of dance and a part of life. I know students come and go, but I don't like being the reason for it. Any words of encouragement would be helpful, thanks.

I actually left a studio because I was getting frustrated and (mean) at a studio. The kids and parents did all you said but the SO didn't seem to care, so I decided not the place for me.

The studio I teach at now, the kids are sometimes late or talk too much but mostly anything that I can't handle in class, I tell SO and she calls parent for a talk and maybe a meeting.

If you are the SO maybe things need to be more strict across the board with written rules and signs. If not SO, ask for help. This should only be your responsibility.

I am middle of the road. I find that when I get the most snippy is when it keeps happening. Sometimes we warn a student too much, with out an actual consequence, so they repeat it, and we get irritated. So the best thing to do is have a policy (for all teachers) such as 1st warning 2nd time out of class 3rd speak w parents ect, whatever works with you. I think the kids only perceive it as mean when they can tell you are aggrevated. A calm "that is not acceptable because..." followed by a warning, time out ect is less personal. I also think where you are located can affect it. My kids here take things 10x more personally than where I was (kind of annoying because I am blunt!)

Thank you for that reply. I am not the SO and it is sort of like you said about the studio you left, the SO doesn't care. She is very concerned with losing the students and will never "offend" anyone by telling them they were wrong (i.e. broke a rule). She is not good at backing em up. It really does all boil back down to her, the SO, in almost every I can think of. I taught at a studio prior to this one for three years and never heard a bad word from any kids or parents, many still keep in touch and say how much they loved having me. The SO of that studio was very on top of things and didn't take any crap and backed up her teachers 100%. You are right too, the same rules need to be enforced across the board and that is not the case here. Thanks again.

When I teach dance, depending on the age, they have to work differently due to their age and I need to adjust my teach style to their ages. Normally my little kids if they are goofing off I will stand there as patiently as I can until they realize I'm waiting for them. Or if a student, generally if the student is in classes that have any technique in them, not the creative movement type classes, is be disruptive, acting out or just plain not paying attention I have no reservations about asking them to sit out until they can be ready to dance and not interfere with other students learning.

Some students and parents won't agree with how you teach or react to situations within your dance studio. My advice may not be the greatest advice ever. But with the students, all your students, at registration have then sign a studios rules and have make sure they understand them. And that they are aware that they will be reprimanded.

However, if the student is late, talk to the parent to see if there is an issue with the class time or set up a meeting with the student and parent to see if there is anything you as the teacher can do to more effectively teach the student and help them fully participate in your class. Asking them in a way that sounds like you are not doing everything you already can will help cut down on dancers angst towards you and hopefully help them realize subtlety that it's their attitude and parents who would be horribly offended.

Hmm, firm but funny, lol.

I rarely get frustrated. Those who do not work hard, I may start to ignore and put my effort into those who are working hard and putting in effort. I do not care how well they pick up, just as long as they try.

I can lead a dancer to the steps but I can't make them dance. It is up to them.

Now, if you are in a class, like a dance company or competition team, you had better work your butt off or you are out, out, OUT!!

I love to make class a great place to be and I have been told by my bosses that my students are always happy when they leave class, so I guess I am doing okay.

But, do not be rude or disrespectful, or you will see the OTHER side of me.

I think I relate really well with students...and some people say it's because I'm close to their height (haha!) But I think kids feel comfortable around me and therefore listen to me.

I like to have a professional atmosphere from a young age and have a relationship of mutual respect. I don't judge kids if they can't do a move, but I hate if they can't do it because they aren't trying their best. I love to see the students push themselves probably because I always push myself and I feel like that's the only way to get better!

Having said all that I love to talk to the kids about their lives and have fun in class. And I think I'm lucky that I'm not one to get frustrated to often with them!

tiny

Tinydancer, are you a Libra? I am, and Libras are usually laid back, like me, LOL.

^Nope, pisces!
I don't know what they're suppose to be like though...? Maybe I was born at the wrong time! lol

tiny

Like JLL I'd say I'm firm but funny...I'm also a little sarcastic with my older students. It's how I get my point across if I'm not happy about something but allows me do it in a somewhat light hearted manner as opposed to being a "mean" dictator (which is actually a running joke with my advanced classes)

it depends on the students as to my personality in class. If I see you have the talent and are not putting in your best effort I WILL RIDE YOUR BUTT! however mostly I am laid back and I am trying to share a love and passion for dance.

I get very agitated with the extra talkative kids, i feel that if there are down times (i work mostly on musicals which you aren't in every scene) then they can chat if they know what they are doing (most kids practice lines or dances on the side and some quietly do their homework), but as far as they are concerned when they are called on to work for a number or scene I am "Hitler", seriously that's what they call me when they don't think i can hear. I used to be offended but i am now proud because I am not abusing power, sometimes the kids need a stringent personality in there life who won't take excuses and that is me. I am the only teacher in the almost 28 year history of our program who has kicked students out of my class because of behavior and/or work ethic and not allowed their return without a formal apology to both the class and myself. These kids need to learn structure and I tell you this has lost a few students, but it has kept the ones who WANT to be there and that is who we really want to teach. At least that's who I want to teach.

I recognize myself completely in Tonydanza. I've already found out WHY I respond like that: I'm a control freak. I want things to go my way. Flexibel yes, but only between my own limits.

Every year students leave because they don't want to follow my rules. Usually they don't want to follow any rule in life. They want to be completely free.

What I want now, has to do with what I learned as a kid in dance: Discipline. Do not question the teacher or the rules, just do as you are told.
Now, 5 year olds are already refusing to follow the rules, and their moms stimulate that! Very frustrating for me.

An other things that counts is that I want respect for my knowledge, training and education. I don't want to be questioned all the time. I want to move on and explaining again and again and again why I point everybody in that direction, is waste of time and frustrating to me.


Knowing WHY I get a bit bitchy every now and then, hasn't change that behaviour (yet). But it is important to know, I think, to find a solution ever.

My solution would be to have motivated kids only, but that is not realistic.


To all: Please, do not tell me how wrong I am. I just wanted Tonydanza to know she is not the only one, and I hope that my progress so far will help her.

At this point in my teaching career, I am usually calm. I do get frustrated, but I have to take a step back and analyze my situation most times. I teach mostly baby classes, so its a bit harder to stay aggravated when they learned to walk only a few years ago. i will be teaching older girls in the upcoming year, so lets see how that goes. I may be doing alot more venting to ddn.

Well, yeah, I am a little controlling, but I am not sure that is why I get frustrated. We set up rules that the kids are expected to follow, so they are not my personal rules, but the studio rules. I would not expect them to do something that I haven't asked them to do. My little ones are better at listening, they don't have an opinion yet. If I say do it, they do it. They think I can be mean sometimes, but they still love me. Do you all usually call out your kids in front of everyone, or are all confrontations private?

I recognize myself completely in Tonydanza. I've already found out WHY I respond like that: I'm a control freak. I want things to go my way. Flexibel yes, but only between my own limits.

Are you a first born or only child?

No, youngest of two.

I have changed radically over the years. When I was 19, I was a controlling B*&^%. Thought I knew it all. Had a pretty long fuse, but when I blew...LOOK OUT!

In my mid 20's, I relaxed a bit. I was so appreciative to be back teaching dance after a 6 year hiatus, that I looked at it all very differently.

In my 30's, it depended. I was very warm, funny and loving...but teenagers were my achilles heel. I could become rude, caustic and sarcastic with teens in a moments notice.

Now, with a new biz, something has changed again and I am at peace 95% of the time that I teach. I made a decision to ignore those who are not fully invested...and they have ended up dropping out. This has left me with a very desirable base of students. You want my energy?...Earn it...otherwise, take it down the road.

I have not had to deal with the teens again though. I watched one of my instructors deal with a teen so masterfully the other day. The instructor is also much younger than me and I was awed at there ability to just ignore and defuse a teen. I want to be like that when I grow up. hehe!

I really relate to a lot of what lidwina said. I don't want to have to explain every detail and reason behind my rules and expectations. I just want unquestioning obedience!! I had a rough year with one of my classes. Almost everyone in the class had major problems staying focused and keeping on task. I found myself getting impatient and snippy (and that is the right word for me) Although no one dropped out all year I know there will be some who won't register for this year. But as to my teaching personality, I am all about encouraging and enthusiastically cheering them on but when they start the "It's hard!" "It hurts!" whining melodrama I can feel the frustration and impatience building. Not too diplomatic with "poor me!" "feel sorry for me! " baloney.

I am a fireball, my personality is very dominating and strong. My SO and I are such opposites, she is passive and a know it all. While I am a strong know it all.

My teaching style makes it difficult for me to teach many beginners, though I do it and love it watching them learn something totally new. But I do best with advanced dancers, pushing them to their limits. I think that's why I always work with the teenagers and competitive students.

I am the one that will say exactly how it looks without sugar coating it, but also being somewhat kind and not crushing the student.

But yeah my personality I guess is so different from others I work with, the other teachers were raised in the area. And they also trained at the studio, unlike me a transplant. Plus everyone is from the south, while I am from the North.

Everyone does not understand the training styles are totally different between North and South. I took students to New York and they went into shock at classes, they thought the teachers were to loud, in their face, with big personalities. Now they understand me and why I teach like that, but I push ALL my students. The word "NO" better not be said in my classes, and I can't stand whining it makes my ears bleed.

thadancer wrote:

I am a fireball, my personality is very dominating and strong.

My Latin temperament was like that when I was younger. So very in everyone's face. Militaristic almost. After a few decades, I took the foot off the accelerator.

You are still young. You may chillax as you age.

Maybe not...you may remain a crazy-a$$ fireball well into your "older" years. hehehe!!!!!

By-the-by...whining is also my massive pet-peeve. No tolerance for it. SUUUUCCCKKKK IIIITTTTT UPPPPPPP!!!! Makes my skin crawl. Now I just try to push the whiners away. "Be gone wimpy kids!!"

i_am_me wrote:

thadancer wrote:

I am a fireball, my personality is very dominating and strong.

My Latin temperament was like that when I was younger. So very in everyone's face. Militaristic almost. After a few decades, I took the foot off the accelerator.

You are still young. You may chillax as you age.

Maybe not...you may remain a crazy-a$$ fireball well into your "older" years. hehehe!!!!!

By-the-by...whining is also my massive pet-peeve. No tolerance for it. SUUUUCCCKKKK IIIITTTTT UPPPPPPP!!!! Makes my skin crawl. Now I just try to push the whiners away. "Be gone wimpy kids!!"

No my personality has already tones down, and I like it just the way it is. So everyone better be ready, but yeah that's the latin side of my dad's family.

But I have a huge box of straws that I bring to class, whenever the whining starts I hand the kids a straw and say "here's a straw suck it up". I swear it works and the parents know what the straw means.

My teenagers hate it, so I switched it up. I give little pictures of cheese, and say "here's some cheese with that whine".

thadancer wrote:

But I have a huge box of straws that I bring to class, whenever the whining starts I hand the kids a straw and say "here's a straw suck it up". I swear it works and the parents know what the straw means.

My teenagers hate it, so I switched it up. I give little pictures of cheese, and say "here's some cheese with that whine".

Amazing what weak dispositions many kids have.

My other fave is "It's hot in here...I'm sweating!"

huh?????

I ask "do you sweat in soccer?....then what makes you think you are not supposed to be sweating in a dance class?? It's an athletic activity people."

Again...I don't really go after them like I did when I was younger. I just look at them with a quizzical "for real????" look. Eventually, they drop out because I start to ignore the one's without the fortitude and heart.

Give me someone with two left feet, but with heart, soul and conviction any day over the one that it comes easier to who might as well be phoning in their lessons.

I'm too damn old to be bothered with the nonsense. My energy is too valuable and I am far more discerning about who gets my attention and who doesn't.

I'm the cool teacher. I try to make class as fun as possible. I don't yell or get mean. If they aren't listening I usually try to say something like "Oh, are ready to dance in dance class now?" or something like that. One day I had a bunch of little ones, about 5-8 years old and they were jumping around my classroom acting like animals. So, I told them "that is too bad you all turned into animals, because I was going to let you show and tell today, but I can't now because I have no dancers, just animals.", Show and tell is when we show another class our routine so far and they show us theirs, and the kids really like it. But it seems to work, because they all jumped up and did their warm ups like they were suppose to, and no more animals! Although I have to say, we have open observation and some kids get really out of control and the moms just sit there. If my children were acting like that they would be in serious trouble for showing a teacher such disrespect!

Let's make it very clear, I am the fun teacher at the studio. I am tough but I also have fun with the girls, but they have to earn it.

We do sleepovers, and go see dance movies, and other stuff the other teachers won't do it.

But on a side note i_am_me you said you ignore them sometimes, I am good at ignoring and not acknowledging craziness, extra talking and noise. I will totally block it out and they all wonder how did I do that.

i would say i'm very patient with my babies. even though sometimes it's hard to keep there attention, i rarely get frustrated.

i am stern but fun with my 8-12 group. i love to have a good time with them, but if they start to get crazy it's taken care of immediately.

i'm laid back with my teens, but i have felt myself get way more frustrated with this age group than any other. the attitudes and lack of interest can drive me crazy, but i am learning to ignore those who refuse to give me 100.

i don't have a latin side like i_am_me, but i have felt "43rd street" about to come out several times! lol!