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The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By Dream_chaserPremium member
On Tue Sep 01, 2009 09:20 AM
Made sticky by oz_helen (35388) on 2009-09-03 00:18:07

Well, maybe parents will read this and if any of them have any of these tendencies, maybe they will see it in themselves. I want all of you, in a factual and unemotional way, to list the things that make a bad dance school parent.

It should list the action they do and how it hurts them, their child, or the business in general. I do not want it to be nasty or an attack. The facts m'am (or sir), just the facts.

I will start, off the top of my head...

1. Does not want to follow the policies of the dance school. Rules, regulations and policies are set forth to make the business run smoothly, make it fair for all involved, and keep problems from arising. When someone does not feel that the rules and policies apply to them, it rocks the boat, makes problems not only for the school but for the child of the parent because it might cause the child to be removed from the school.

Dance school owners have the right to remove anyone who does not follow rules and how devastating is that to a child?

2. Not paying on time or at all. Dance schools have overhead to stay in business. If you walked into a store, took a loaf of bread and tried not to pay, you would not get away with it. Do not expect your child to take a class that is not paid for. Most schools will discontinue a student who is not paid (and if they do not, should immediately).

It is not fair to all the others who pay on time and if a school cannot pay it's bills, either good staff gets cut or the school cannot stay open.

Pay your bills, on time, and if you do pay late, do not argue about the late fee.

3. Arguing about the level your child is in. Teachers are trained, just like any other professional, to know what is required of students. Dance is different than school. A "C" level student (the equivalent of) cannot move up. They must physically, technically and mentally (work ethic) be fully ready to move up.

It hurts them to be moved up when not ready as one of two things will happen; he or she will struggle and never be able to keep up or the rest of the class will be held back trying to get this student to catch up. It is not fair and is also not safe as injuries happen when students try to dance above their ability level.

Trust that the teachers and school owners know their job. Just as we will not tell you how to do your job or raise your child, because we trust you know what you are doing, you must do the same.

---

There is much more but I will leave that up to my esteemed colleagues on this wonderful site. Hopefully this will be made a sticky.

THANKS!

135 Replies to The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).

re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By Sumayah
On Tue Sep 01, 2009 09:35 AM
Comparing your child to others in the class. Each dancer is unique and individual with their own strengths and weaknesses, comparing your child to another (either favorably or negatively) only causes issues. Either your dancer will begin to look down on the dancer who they're "better than" or it'll be a blow to their ego to watch who they're "worse than." Let your dancer focus on themselves in class and not worry about other dancers who you feel they're superior/inferior to.

This is especially important while observing class. If you stand in the hallway and constantly nitpick other dancers it negatively affects the atmosphere of the studio in general. Similarly, if you do have an issue with any dancers or placement, please go to the office or contact the owner directly. Do not sit and gossip and complain to any ear that will listen.
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By hummingbird
On Tue Sep 01, 2009 10:19 AM
When at a parent observation day, shut the hell up, it's not a gossip session and I'm trying to do my job!
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By Allymember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Tue Sep 01, 2009 10:38 AM
Argh, I was at our only dance store in town and a grandma started bad mouthing our studio. It made me sooooo mad. She was saying that her 7 year old recreational grand daughter(it was her first year and trust me...she belonged there) was doing the same basic things as her 4 year old recreational sister. Then she was like, I recognize you(you being me). I was like yeah, I work there. Another mom was there with her kid that still dances at my studio was explaining to the other grandma that they know what they were doing and had a reason they were placing her grandchildren where they needed to be.

It was sooooo awkward. I got the most evil stare from the grandma. I was just like, If you have any concerns you can schedule a meeting to speak with our department director.

I left the same time the nice mom did and she told me that I handled it well and that she totally trusts our judgment.
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By avandy83
On Tue Sep 01, 2009 10:43 AM
As far as rules and dress code goes, do not play the dumb card. The "I didn't know" is a lame excuse and we know you know better. If you've been with us for 5 years, don't say you didn't know she needed a leotard! Come on, we know you better than that.

Also, please realize that your child will NOT be in the front for an entire dance, they might not even be in the front at all. It's the C average thing, I'm going to put the A students in the front. Mainly for competition purposes, recital is different. But if you think your child will be in front the entire time, your're wrong.
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By Dream_chaserPremium member
On Tue Sep 01, 2009 10:59 AM
My number 4: Get your child to class, on time and all of the time. If she or he are sick, make it up immediately. Missing class not only hurts your child's progress but that of the class.

Many times the same parents will be the first to complain when their child looks lost on stage, does not move up the next year or does not stand in front.
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By terpsidance
On Tue Sep 01, 2009 11:01 AM
Please don't send your child into ballet class out of dress code with the lame excuse that "My mom didn't get to the laundry last night" Please... buy two black leotards and be done with it.


Your child must have her hair up in a bun or similar style for ballet class. Not a ponytail, not hurriedly wrapped into a scrunchie bun that will fly apart during the first soutenu.

I have sent e mails, hard copies, and verbal announcements of upcoming mandatory events and school closings. Please don't read me the riot act that you knew nothing of these events.
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By RosePremium member
On Tue Sep 01, 2009 11:20 AM
Edited by lidwina (172256) on 2009-09-01 11:22:42
Don't use your child for your convenience.
This is wrong: "My child doesn't like you anymore, that's why she quits."
This is right: "I don't think we can work together anymore, that's why I think it's best when my child quits."

When your child tells you a negative story about me, CHECK IT before you start yelling at me.
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By Dancebear8504
On Tue Sep 01, 2009 11:20 AM
* Do not complain to any teacher that their warm-ups are too long or that your child has to do to many warm-ups each night. When class changes, and a student begins a new dance technique they need to warm-up their body for that newest class. Yes, they just got out of jazz class and now they're entering hip hop. Yes, they still need to warm-up in hip hop even though they're still sweating from jazz class. 1) Every dance technique is unique and uses a new physical vocabulary, meaning you use different muscles and use them in different ways 2) Your child is not the only student in the class, some students did not just come from the previous jazz class and you don't want to see them get hurt, right? 3) Don't complain about these 'long' warm-ups/conditioning times and then turn around and blame us for every injury your child has ever had because we didn't prepare her for class well enough. Choose one.. either we're doing too much or too little, OR we know what we're doing!
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By dancedeb
On Tue Sep 01, 2009 01:12 PM
If you MUST bring babies and toddlers with you please keep them quiet and under control in the waiting area. And DO NOT leave dirty diapers in our trash cans!

Accept the fact that we are knowledgeable and experienced enough to judge how many students we can handle and accommodate in a class. I have asked more than one parent: "By what authority do you, as a non-dance teacher, determine how many are 'too many' in any given class?"

Please do not ask for exceptions to our No Observers In Class Policy.
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By ChristinePremium member
On Tue Sep 01, 2009 01:54 PM
Dance class can be a wonderful experience for your children whether their goals are recreational or professional. It will serve you and your family well to keep the following points in mind.

1) Adherence to centuries of tradition as well as discipline and tenacity are all part of dancing. If you expect your child to be part of the dance culture support us in our rules. This includes dress code, attendance, and respect for teachers.

2) It is disrespectful to gossip to anyone, including your children, about their dance masters. If you have a real question or concern, frame it in an adult manner and take it to the adult involved. Conflict of authority is a major hindrance in your child's chances of success.

3) Please remember your manners. You don't do your child any favors by pushing in front of others to insist that your child be favored. This includes everything from placement in the show line to stickers at the end of class. "Fighting for" your child will only embarrass them.

4) Know what you are getting into before you start. Most studios have clearly posted rules and expectations. Your success is their success. Dancing, almost more than any other activity, takes lots of time and patience. Ask questions before you sign up to avoid any misunderstandings.

5) Teachers are people too. Most misunderstandings can be cleared up with effective communication. Everyone makes mistakes. Don't turn every little thing into a war or a contest of wills.

6) Lead by example. If you hope your children will develop poise, balance, technique and "class" as a "side effect" of dance class, remember that you are the primary role model in their lives. Remember your manners, keep a balanced outlook, and provide the structure necessary for success. This means proper time management, nutrition, and equipment. (You wouldn't send them to Ice Skating lessons without skates...don't send them to dance class with bedroom slippers instead of ballet shoes!)

This can be one of the most important and rewarding aspects of "The Growing Years".... but it truly "Takes A Village"

Love to all...

and
Keep On Dancing...

*
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By RosePremium member
On Tue Sep 01, 2009 02:08 PM
Parents, remember: If you are not nice to the teacher, she will kick your child out. We don't HAVE TO teach your child, we can even return the money you already paid. And we don't HAVE TO accept you in our studio. It's privat property, you know.

(Or all classes are full and you get on a life long waitinglist. But that is another post.)
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By Dream_chaserPremium member
On Tue Sep 01, 2009 02:12 PM
Not only that, word gets around. I have had difficult parents (the students never are, they are usually easy to handle) and when they were tossed from my studio, I let friends, who own area schools, where they might go, to beware. I let them know the conditions of asking them to leave so if they do sign up, they have a heads up.

Two did just that, in fact they were joined where I work now and I called. They did not last, either, as they pulled the same stuff but they were warned and took action sooner.
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By avandy83
On Tue Sep 01, 2009 02:37 PM
Also, please check the bulletin board/information board and read the newsletter before asking your questions. 9 times out of 10, the answer is right in front of you.

Also, please understand that each teacher is hired for a specific reason. Do not ask your ballet teacher a question about your bill or payments, they are not going to know the answer, that's not part of their job. Additionally, do not ask one teacher a question or express a concern about something that happened in a completely different class. Once again, they weren't there, they don't know the situation, and they shouldn't get involved.
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By avandy83
On Tue Sep 01, 2009 03:00 PM
I know I keep adding, but I keep thinking and I have a very short term memory so if I don't post it, I'll forget it!

Keep in mind that by no means is every dance school the same. Dance is not regulated (like Gymnastics, or whatever else you do). Just because your child was the best in her class at her old dance studio, by no means automatically puts her the best or at a higher level at our studio. 5 years of dance somewhere else might not mean a thing. It doesn't always "count". If it was 5 years of games, not broken down and clear instruction, and just flat out bad training, please don't say "well my daughter's been dancing for 6 years and she's only been dancing for 3". 3 years with us could be better than 6 years total when 5 were somewhere else. Does this make any sense? It does in my head, but that doesn't mean much ;)
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By RosePremium member
On Tue Sep 01, 2009 03:19 PM
Edited by lidwina (172256) on 2009-09-01 15:36:56
We all accept that like at any school, the number of years spent over there, say nothing about the end results. After high school some will go to university. Some will leave high school without a diploma. They all got the same years of scholing.

Same in dance. After 5 years of dancing, some will be close to becoming professional. Some are still struggling with the basic steps.



I'm getting inspired now for a new post. Give me a minute for that.

Edit:
www.dance.net . . .
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By Dream_chaserPremium member
On Tue Sep 01, 2009 03:26 PM
Ah, Lidwina, I cannot wait to read it!
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By millysmommy
On Tue Sep 01, 2009 03:36 PM
I know this has already been said - but I'm going to repeat.

Please please please read the things I send home. I took all the time to plan it, type it, make copies of it and hand it out - it must be important, you could at least take ten seconds to read it.
It is not fair to your child when they miss out on something fun or something important because you happened to "lose" it. All handouts are also posted on the bulletin board - if you actually lose something check the bulletin board.

Another one:
Just because December does not have regular classes - you still have to pay your fee that month! We have rehearsals, shows and all sorts of activities going on. I do not do all that work for free- and don't be surprised there is a late charge on your next bill if you didn't pay on time.

I send preregistration forms for next fall out to all current years students - way before registration is opened to new students. Do not expect to wande rin on the first day of fall classes with out re-registering and be upset that I did not save you a spot - Even if your response is "but my child has been dancing here for years, you knew we'd come back". Ummm - no I no reason to believe that was the case - you didn't sign up.

I also know this is a thread about bad things - but would like to extend a huge thanks to the students and parents that are excellent to work with - and make me realize every day why I do what I do.
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By RosePremium member
On Wed Sep 02, 2009 03:45 AM
Parents: please make your own decisions. Do not gather in the dressingroom or in front of the studiodoor, to gossip and stir.

You are all individual persons, by age mature, than act like that instead of following the one who screams the hardest.

If you have a complaint, keep it 'your complaint'. Words like: 'Others complain about this too', tell us you are not very self-assured, because you need others to support your story.

And honoustly: others don't need you to speak for them.
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By dancingdiva83
On Wed Sep 02, 2009 10:38 AM
You are paying us to teach your children because we are the professionals. We have had proper training and education. Please refrain from music ideas, independent costuming, and choreographic suggestions. Also-you are not properly trained in pointe therefore it is not in child's best interest if you decide to be the one to tell her she's ready. Or decide that the pointe shoe properly fits...

I used to work in a dance store and my favorite would be the parents who would ask for "room to grow" in their child's pointe shoes!!

Also-please know my name. I introduce myself at the beginning of the year and to all new students. I know your name so please make an effort to know mine. Don't refer to me as "Miss Teacher"...I know you're covering your own faux pas.
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By ozriella
On Wed Sep 02, 2009 10:58 AM
Edited by ozriella (84377) on 2009-09-02 11:00:53 typo
Please understand that it is important for your child to follow the required dress code in ballet class. I need to see their body alignment and bone structure in order to ensure proper training. Please don't make your child ask me to make an exception such as: "My mom did not have time to wash my tights. Is it ok if I wear jazz pants? or "My dog chewed a hole in the crotch of my leotard. Is it ok if I leave my pants on?" (I seriously had a child tell me that on Monday) or "My mom wants to wait until closer to recital to buy me new ballet shoes. She thinks I will wear them out or out grow them too soon. Can I just dance barefoot?" It is unfair to your child to put them in that awkward situation, because my answer will be "No. It is not OK."

Please don't compare your child to children from other studios and want to know "Why don't we do those turns where they stick their leg out?" or "I don't think there are enough advanced movements in her solo. The other kids are doing harder moves." Please understand that just because you see someone doing a turn where they "stick their leg out" doesn't mean that they are doing it correctly. I will teach that movement when your child is technically ready. Also please understand that many of these dancers who are doing the "advanced movements" train for more hours each week than your child. Especially keep this in mind when I am suggesting your child register for more than one or two ballet and one jazz class each week, and you explain to me that you don't want to be at the studio that much or the extra ballet class conflicts with volleyball practice. A dancer who trains for 10 hours each week will dance better than a dancer who trains for 3 or 4.
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By danceworks3220Premium member
On Wed Sep 02, 2009 11:25 AM
I know its been posted but its something that comes up almost every month.
Tuition is based on a full year of training. Just because there are 3 weeks in one month doesnt mean you pay for 3 weeks, if I did that I would charge you more for the months there are 5 weeks in. I would also charge you for the extra Sunday practices before competition, if I were trying to take advantage of you...but I'm not I love teaching your child and I want them to do well, so I offer my time and expect you to pay what little I charge. :)
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By Dream_chaserPremium member
On Wed Sep 02, 2009 04:50 PM
That is so, about tuition. Parents, realize that it is not a monthly fee but an installment on your total price for the year. That is why I did not list monthly rates in my ads, but annual rates and monthly installments. It is just that the total rate is divided by the amount of months, usually ten, that classes are running.
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By AcroDancermember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Wed Sep 02, 2009 07:17 PM
My favorite is "where is your leotard and dance shoes"

ANSWER: "I had school today and didn't get a chance to stop at home"

RESPONSE: "Well then you should take your items with you or pack a bag with extra leotards and shoes in there and leave it here at the studio"
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By Dream_chaserPremium member
On Wed Sep 02, 2009 07:34 PM
Or do as I did. I took them with me to school.
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