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re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By pinktights27
On Wed Dec 05, 2012 05:36 AM
Cancelling ONE regularly scheduled rehearsal for my team when I have a legit personal obligation - parent volunteers to run it for me. I'm sorry, did you suddenly become a dance instructor? I'm supposed to hand over my keys to the entire school building to you? Are you cool with being legally responsible for all these children under your care? Do you have a student supervisor license, which our state and school require? I didn't think so...then they reply "well it's JUST a rehearsal!!" JUST A REHEARSAL OMG.
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By Dream_chaserPremium member
On Wed Dec 05, 2012 06:16 AM
pinktights27 wrote:

"well it's JUST a rehearsal!!" JUST A REHEARSAL OMG.


Just a rehearsal? OMG
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply). (karma: 1)
By DaDancingPsych
On Wed Dec 05, 2012 02:31 PM
pinktights27 wrote:

then they reply "well it's JUST a rehearsal!!" JUST A REHEARSAL OMG.


They are right; it *IS* just a rehearsal. Not having it will not end the world. So parents, enjoy the rare evening of having some free time with your children!
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By Dream_chaserPremium member
On Wed Dec 05, 2012 05:34 PM
DaDancingPsych wrote:

pinktights27 wrote:

then they reply "well it's JUST a rehearsal!!" JUST A REHEARSAL OMG.


They are right; it *IS* just a rehearsal. Not having it will not end the world. So parents, enjoy the rare evening of having some free time with your children!


AMEN! Usually they whine when that HAVE to be there (the parents, not the kids).
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By Dream_chaserPremium member
On Wed Dec 05, 2012 05:42 PM
Parents.... and this may have been addressed, already, but I want to reiterate (and NOT just for dance, either)...

Don't overbook your child. It's OK that they don't do all the activities they love. My mom made me choose and I did, with no regrets. She said, "You can't do all of that, it's your choice. After my initial, "OH MAN!!!!" I lived.

ONCE YOU DO LET THEM CHOOSE.... MAKE THEM FINISH THEIR COMMITMENT!!!!

"Mom, I changed my mind, I want to do soccer (after being in dance or another activity in and it's mid-season). Part of learning to be a good adult is to learn that your choices sometimes have consequences.

My son did that. His last year of dance, he was 10. He wanted to quit but was on dance team and was a ballroom dance partner, too, to my daughter, in mid competition season.

I said, "Yes, you can, but you are committed to the season. You will hurt your sister and team members, if you quit now. When the season is over, you don't have to dance any longer."

He was not happy, but did finish his season and did work in classes. After it was over, he was done. He enjoyed the season, and knowing that when it was done, it was done, he was okay with it. I did tell him that he had to work hard, and finish well. He did.

I have watched students of mine, whose parents gave into their whims, let them hop from this to that, no finish commitments and be late, miss classes, etc. Now grown, I can give you a list who never finished college, go from job to job, because if they don't like something, they quit, looking for the perfect job where they don't have to compromise (if you find it, let me know) because they assume the world will treat them like mommy does.

If I did that, I would be a bad teacher. If I did it as a parent, I would be a bad parent.

'Nuff said.
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By Dances4LifePremium member
On Fri Dec 07, 2012 02:55 PM
Dream_chaser wrote:


Don't overbook your child. It's OK that they don't do all the activities they love. My mom made me choose and I did, with no regrets. She said, "You can't do all of that, it's your choice. After my initial, "OH MAN!!!!" I lived.

ONCE YOU DO LET THEM CHOOSE.... MAKE THEM FINISH THEIR COMMITMENT!!!!

"Mom, I changed my mind, I want to do soccer (after being in dance or another activity in and it's mid-season). Part of learning to be a good adult is to learn that your choices sometimes have consequences.

I have watched students of mine, whose parents gave into their whims, let them hop from this to that, no finish commitments and be late, miss classes, etc. Now grown, I can give you a list who never finished college, go from job to job, because if they don't like something, they quit, looking for the perfect job where they don't have to compromise (if you find it, let me know) because they assume the world will treat them like mommy does.

If I did that, I would be a bad teacher. If I did it as a parent, I would be a bad parent.


I completely agree! I have had to have that conversation with many students that wanted to quit mid year. I told them that it wasn't an option because they had made the commitment to their class. If they wanted to quit after May then that was their choice BUT until then they needed to be team players and a person of their word.

Parents, make your kids responsible for what they agree to as well as their actions. They as children affect other people just like other people affect them.
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By pinktights27
On Fri Dec 07, 2012 11:04 PM
All very important points! I HATE when kids try to quit mid-season. You can't just give up in life! I've had kids try to quit my dance team numerous times (actually 2 did my first year coaching - then one tried to come back to the team. YEAH RIGHT!). After that first year I made it very clear at auditions that once you commit to the team, you are in for the season. No problems since, and even when I have kids that can't dance a step due to injury, they come to every practice, game, and competition.
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By cummingse
On Sat Dec 22, 2012 09:05 PM
Don't have your child involved with 20 different after school activities! I am the Administrative Manager for a dance school and a dance teacher for others. The number one complaint I hear from parents is that their child is so tired when they come to dance class because they have just come from 2 other activities before! I understand that parents what their children to be diverse and try different things... but there HAS to be a limit!!
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By vfdtPremium member
On Sun Dec 23, 2012 01:52 AM
^^^ Yes, I have said these things too, but it doesn't matter to Mom; she's part of the problem, not the solution, LOL. A 10 year old arrives late for class, and they pop in just long enough to tell me she must take off 15 minutes more, to eat her dinner (pizza) next door. Mom explains that they were coming from another prior activity, and daughter is about to faint from humger. I wanted to say: pack a sandwich and let her eat in the car on the way here.
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By Dream_chaserPremium member
On Sun Dec 23, 2012 02:25 AM
That's what I had to do, on busy, dance days, for my kids. If they went straight from school, to dance, I had a snack for them and if they had classes that interfered with dinner, I worked around it. I Never let them be late, nor leave early, but then, again, I am a dance teacher and know that it's bad for kids to keep missing parts of class.
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By bagpuss912
On Wed Dec 26, 2012 04:42 PM
love this subject! I honestly thought it was just me who had these problems!
Paying is the worst, parents who make their 7 year olds go in to class on their own with no money. Then slate me to everyone when i say they can only watch if they dont bring the money!
pushy parents, please we do know when your child is ready to advance, let us tell you when they can move up.
parents who get upset & angry when their children are not in many dances for shows, but havent brought them to many rehearsals, or let the children to different classes.
Nasty parents. Why talk down and disrespect us?
Yes parents your child needs to wear appropiate dance clothes & shoes, you buy them designer clothes but bork at paying for uniform that you cant dance safely without, & no your kids cant dance safely in jeans & slip on shoes!
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By bagpuss912
On Wed Dec 26, 2012 04:50 PM
oh and parents letting their children quit, a week before a show, exams or the end of term, with the excuse "shes a teenager she just wants to see her friends & talk to them on fb. wow its on the main part a night a week my pupils do! just brave it out, these kids cant "quit" work when they get older so easily. Teach them a bit of loyality & dedication, teach them if they start something they need to follow it through.
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By Dream_chaserPremium member
On Wed Dec 26, 2012 04:59 PM
I agree. We have a HUGE generation of entitled kids whose parents lie, give in, or whatever, for kids. My daughter, who is 30, is a supervisor, at work, surrounded by them. She was not raised that way and since she started working as a teen, she is amazed at how selfish and irresponsible so many are. But I saw it with the kids I taught, many of the parents make excuses, allow kids all of the bad behaviors listed in this post. They are creating a selfish generation and that trickle down to each successive generation. Frightening.
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By SoClassy
On Tue Mar 12, 2013 10:03 PM
"I just signed Janie up for softball, so I'll have to pick her up fifteen minutes early and she'll be coming in jeans. That's ok, right?"

Actually, no. It's extremely very not ok.

"I know the recital isn't for a few months, but what does the costume look like?"

I don't know, ask in a few months. Scratch that, ask your child when they get the costume. I'm on a rather tight schedule.

"I'm so, so, so sorry I forgot to bring a check!! I'll have it next week. Susie, don't let me forget to bring a check. Here, let me write a note on my phone real quick, sorry!"

My classes are back to back. I don't have time to listen. Especially if it's every single month.

When the pamphlet says for your child to wear her hair up, I do not mean a cute little clip holding her bangs back. I mean up, out of the way, and firm. Dance clothes do not mean cute sundresses, that will prevent little Mary from dancing since she doesn't want anyone to see her panties. Tap shoes are just as important as ballet. Yes, they wear ballet shoes for tap if they don't have tap shoes, but that is TEMPORARY. I'm not asking a beginner who might not ever dance again to buy $80 shoes, just buy your child some flipping dance shoes!!!

One time I got asked if we would have class the next week. Which just happened to fall on Christmas day. Because naturally I want to spend my holiday forcing kids into leotards instead of opening presents.

I love kids. I love my job. I just wish it didn't come with parents.
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By RosePremium member
On Tue Mar 12, 2013 10:13 PM
SoClassy wrote:

I just wish it didn't come with parents.

And that is another teacher who wants to teach orphans (with a credit card).
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By SoClassy
On Tue Mar 12, 2013 10:29 PM
Rose wrote:

SoClassy wrote:

I just wish it didn't come with parents.

And that is another teacher who wants to teach orphans (with a credit card).


It's actually a dream of mine to have a studio for kids with poor family backgrounds, such as kids in the foster system. Until I get rich (rich off a teacher's pay? ha!) that will have to wait. Of course, this has nothing to do with the troublesome parents. A good portion of parents are pleasant and fun to talk to.
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By DancinDM
On Fri Mar 15, 2013 04:15 AM
I have a student, who's 17, who just came to me last night to tell me she had to quit our company (not the regular studio classes) because she had to get a new job. THE REASON: Her mother is too d@#$ lazy to get a job and the student has to work to pay for dance and help pay bills at home.... And she just came in this week with a tattoo on her neck! (the student)!! As she was showing it off to other girls, I said, "that's going to be fun to cover up for recital." her response was "I have to cover it up?!" UMMMM DUH!
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By Marelie
On Sat Mar 16, 2013 12:01 AM
@DancinDM: aren't tatoos expensive, too?

My biggest issue with dance parents so far is bad attendance... I have two sisters who will have missed 5 classes since January... add winter break(two weekends) and Easter, that's 8 missed classes. Of course, the winter break and Easter break is not their fault but how do you expect your daughter to look good doing the dance at recital if you miss class? This is for a recreational class so it's only once a week and most of the girls only take that one class...

With the little ones, I also can't stand parents who get to the studio in a hurry and don't take the time to take their 3 year old to the washroom. My assistant spends most of my baby classes taking the kids to the washroom because the parents failed to do so. And of course it starts a chain reaction, so it is disruptive to the class... I usually manage to take their minds away from it but there is always a kid or two who won't forget.

Lastly, if you are going to come to observation week, please try to look like you have some interest in my class and your child's work. I have had a couple of groups of parents who looked totally uninterested in what we were doing. I put a lot of time and effort in class prep and your kids are working hard, so please try to acknowledge by being engaged in the class... after all, dancers are pretty good at understanding body language, and I can see that you are totally uninterested.

(recitals are coming up, I may come up with more!!)
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By DancinDM
On Sat Mar 16, 2013 02:06 AM
@Marelie: They are! You don't have money to pay your past due bills (she owes for February and March and her senior solo costume) but you have money for a tattoo?!
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By bevie
On Wed Apr 17, 2013 08:08 AM
I completely agree with this post. I have also noticed lately that many people have resorted to friendship parenting, and if any criticism on behavior, attitude, or work ethic is brought up, the child is blameless.
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By miss_anna_dance
On Wed Apr 24, 2013 10:23 AM
Parents - If you have an issue with me, please speak to ME about it! Not other parents, not other students, and not other teachers... Likewise, I don't want to hear about other teachers either. I am not the Studio Owner and I don't run a program (YET... =) So there is nothing I can do about it.

Also, the correct time to speak with me is a scheduled appointment, not between or during my classes. Quite frankly, I don't have time and would like to prepare myself before being ambushed with questions my brain can't comprehend while I'm teaching!
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By MissTalia
On Sun Apr 28, 2013 04:23 PM
Edited by MissTalia (101138) on 2013-04-28 16:26:04
I cannot teach 5678 to a student who has either not learned 1234 correctly or all all. I need a base to build upon.


If a studio let's you choose your child's level run far and fast they're taking your money and either not really teaching or teaching dangerously.

Student placement isn't relative to favoritism

If you aren't interested in " such a strict class" then perhaps your child should just dance around to their own radio. Dance should have an element of joy and fun, but it should also build character, poise, grace, and discipline. Much of the joy comes from achieving goals, so please don't fault me for pushing your child to be their best.

I put more time into preparing and teaching this hour class than you know, and I understand if you're child isn't super passionate, but I do expect effort from each student.


Dance your very best or not at all.

Dress code isn't an option...in karate there's a uniform, in sports as well. This is dance and we have a uniform as well. It's not to inconvenience anyone, but for the safety and effective teaching of each child. If you're child arrives without dance clothes , they will be asked to take notes while sitting out. So please don't expect them to participate if they aren't dresses properly.


"My child isn't going to be a dancer..." that's fine, you dontnhave to be an aspiring performer or teacher to appreciate an art form and value learning about it!


Everyone had such good posts!
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By studiobteacher
On Mon Apr 29, 2013 04:53 PM
We as teachers and owners sometimes need a "gripe" session. Who else will understand us the most then our fellow colleagues. I'm sorry for replying to your comment I just was kind of annoyed by your response
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By KangarooPawmember has saluted, click to view salute photosPremium member
On Fri Aug 30, 2013 01:37 PM
Parents who base their opinion on where their child should be placed on age, not ability. We make it perfectly clear in every possible way (including, but not limited to: postings inside the studio, written in yearly contracts/policies, posted on our website, verbally announced, etc.) that while we try to keep a "general range" of ages for each class, we DO place by ability and do NOT place based on age. Just because suzie is 9 and moved into the next level up does not mean that your little 9 year old should be moved up too because "they're both 9." Big deal. When your kid is ready, we will move him/her. And not until then.

Parents who go around talking to other students (who are not their own child) and badmouthing teachers. Don't do it. That student is going to go straight to the teacher you just talked trash about and tell them everything you said...especially when you know that student works closely with that teacher.

Lastly, parents texting/calling teachers to tell us "I need to know this that and the other thing from the director...can you please ask them for me?" No, we will not ask for you. We are listed as INSTRUCTORS, not receptionists. Wouldn't it have been faster (and easier) to call the director yourself, directly? You'd probably already have your answer to whatever your question is.

I lied, this is the last one.
When parents have been told, repeatedly, that they will receive their season schedule upon registration, and that is when they will find out exact placement, what teachers their kids will have, who their child's duet partners will be, etc. yet they still feel the need to call for weeks before registration trying to get information...even after being told "the schedule is not yet finalized, we are still working out some kinks." That's our way of politely saying "stop calling!" I can understand the parents that call and want to know which day their child will not have dance so that they can schedule lessons or times for activities that their child does besides dance, but calling and asking who their kid is doing a duet with, what nights they have ballet, do they need pointe shoes, etc. is just ridiculous. All of those questions can wait until registration. If you think finding out this information ahead of time is going to help you battle the director's decisions for your child's placement, you are mistaken. Once your child's (and every other child's) schedule is printed out and waiting for you at registration, that's it. You can subtract classes that aren't mandatory, but you can't change what class your child is in. Sorry. We have the dance education, and believe it or not, we are not out to set your child up to fail. In fact, it's quite the opposite. We want to do what is best for your child's dance education, and place them where they have the most potential to grow as dancers and as people. We care about them a lot more than you even know.
re: The PERFECTLY BAD dance school parent. - this is for parents to read, too (but not reply).
By Dream_chaserPremium member
On Fri Aug 30, 2013 05:33 PM
Edited by Dream_chaser (11405) on 2013-08-30 17:36:18
pinktights27 wrote:

then they reply "well it's JUST a rehearsal!!" JUST A REHEARSAL OMG.



They are right; it *IS* just a rehearsal. Not having it will not end the world. So parents, enjoy the rare evening of having some free time with your children!]/quote]

Then don't sign an agreement to do it when everyone else is holding up their end of the bargain.
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