Forum: Ballet / Guys in Ballet

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i want to get ballet stuff but dont want parents to know
By ryanlikesballet
On Wed Oct 07, 2009 10:22 AM

hi i have a few dance shops near me and i want to go in but im nervous that poeple will laugh and me. and if i buy stuff if my parents find out

29 Replies to i want to get ballet stuff but dont want parents to know

re: i want to get ballet stuff but dont want parents to know
By jorrdanlewissmember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Wed Oct 07, 2009 05:49 PM
Well I'm in a similar boat as you in that my parents need not know. I must say if your not starting for another couple of years (which really starting now will only make you that much better then) you would have a new shop where your going to be at. But on topic, it's a dance store, therefor the only people in there would be ones that dance and I can assure you no one wants to laugh at and chase away a male dancer so your safe there. As for your parents not knowing just dont leave it where they can find it.
re: i want to get ballet stuff but dont want parents to know
By luv2plie
On Thu Oct 08, 2009 12:02 AM
Ryan: why don't you start ballet now? Two years of training would really help you. I started ballet at the age of 23! I am now 41 years old!

Kev
re: i want to get ballet stuff but dont want parents to know
By LittleButFierce
On Sun Oct 11, 2009 11:33 AM
Nobody will laugh at you in a dance store. They are professionals and have seen guys who dance. So don't worry about that. I don't know how your parents will find out unless you leave your dance stuff laying around for them to see. Sorry you don't have parents who support you dancing. :(
re: i want to get ballet stuff but dont want parents to know
By TidalWhale
On Tue Oct 13, 2009 06:50 AM
I couldnt start dancing until I got a job to pay for the classes and the apparel. If you have the oppurtunity to do something you want to do, go for it! The only thing you have to worry about in the dance store is people trying to recruit you to their schools. They love when guys come!! :)
re: i want to get ballet stuff but dont want parents to know
By jocknballettight
On Tue Oct 13, 2009 07:08 PM
RYAN
yes all the guys are right... I too was nervous in high school going downtown to by my first Capezio tights,,,but then you realize that the stores welcomes men and women and will only deal with you professionally....also you can buy many places online or Ebay for great deals on dancewear...so dont sweat it
good luck
re: i want to get ballet stuff but dont want parents to know
By jocknballettight
On Tue Oct 13, 2009 07:09 PM
RYAN
yes all the guys are right... I too was nervous in high school going downtown to by my first Capezio tights,,,but then you realize that the stores welcomes men and women and will only deal with you professionally....also you can buy many places online or Ebay for great deals on dancewear...so dont sweat it
good luck
re: i want to get ballet stuff but dont want parents to know
By guyclone
On Tue Oct 13, 2009 08:35 PM
Imagine how many boys would be in ballet if they didn't have parent's objections to contend with?!?!?!?
re: i want to get ballet stuff but dont want parents to know
By rmdanceguy1
On Tue Oct 13, 2009 11:28 PM
I thought that too when I first went into a true dance store. It did not happen. In fact, the ladies were great to me. I met the owner and she could not have been nicer. She understood not too push too hard as I was nervous and getting used to ballet clothes and shoes.

Your parents don't need to know right away, but they will eventually need to know. Just be careful and relax. Start ballet and buy the clothes. I think once they understand you have been dancing a while and are good and also enjoying it, they may change their attitude.
re: i want to get ballet stuff but dont want parents to know
By jorrdanlewissmember has saluted, click to view salute photos
On Wed Oct 14, 2009 02:23 PM
Haha sheesh nice to see some similar stories, seems like we have to come out to our parents about doing ballet the same way some people do about being gay.
re: i want to get ballet stuff but dont want parents to know
By DANCEBOY5
On Sun Oct 18, 2009 09:40 PM
Don't be embarrased Champ! The ballet outlet understand women OR guys who dance ballet. They understand the attiude so many folks feel about ballet training in this silly country too! Classical Ballet is something to feel PROUD of and people who dont like it dont get it...period. Most dance providers dig guys who are regulars at their store also, so dont be uptight and go grab your tights, slippers, etc. Dance is something they really know about, and they'll help you look & feel your best...
re: i want to get ballet stuff but dont want parents to know
By Old_Ballet_Dude
On Thu Nov 26, 2009 04:32 PM
I think it take a lot to surprise the people who work in dance wear stores. I'm sure they've helped many guys get the tights and/or leotards they want or need. After all, they're in business to sell their merchandise, not judge the people who they serve.
re: i want to get ballet stuff but dont want parents to know (karma: 2)
By mohabee
On Sat Dec 05, 2009 10:26 PM
Hi Ryan!

Sometimes I just don't understand how one can keep things so secretive. If you're attending class, your physical condition will change, and your folks will certainly see this change. I hope you have a good after school job, to pay for your dance clothing and gear, too.

I think sometimes we underestimate parents. Have you talked at all about your ambitions? How about bringing home a DVD of "Billy Elliot?"

Note that while I'm not saying "don't keep this from your parents," I'm thinking that the secret will be known, no matter how hard you try to keep it "under wraps." My hope is that you are prepared for this to occur, at least until you've reached age 18.

I suggest going for the honest route. You're not alone, if you've already started classes, and the teacher and you have developed a good rapport. It's possible your teacher may help you overcome the fear you have about your parents finding out that you have a passion for dance. She might even be like the instructor on "Billy Elliot," and may talk with your Mom or Dad about your dancing.

My hope is that you can dance and learn well, under this pressure. Dance is an art form which frees the spirit through movement. It's too bad there are parents who don't understand this well enough, to allow free discussion in their respective families.

I'll keep my fingers crossed for peace in your family.

Keep On Dancing!

Mohabee
re: i want to get ballet stuff but dont want parents to know
By leolark53
On Tue Dec 08, 2009 06:44 AM
I can compute the idea. If Ryan doesn't feel he can approach his parents, who should be his closest ally, I would seek out another trusted adult, guidance counselor, teacher at school, etc. A female trusted friend above might allow a little more comfort, usually much more understanding about this kind of thing. But the important thing is not to bury the desire, you might really get something out of exploring this part of your world. Go for it...
re: i want to get ballet stuff but dont want parents to know
By guyclone
On Wed Dec 09, 2009 03:09 PM
Mohabee, with all due respect, I think you are underestimating just how homophobic and close-minded some parents are. We don't know what his home life is like, and his parents could be strict, religious, old fashioned, uneducated, or many other things that could make him scared to tell them.
I have friends who have been disowned because of this stuff. I have friends that have been beaten to the point of hospitalization because they came out. You hear stories in the news about teenagers being killed by peers for this sort of thing.
Fortunately, most parents aren't this extreme. Most are going to be understanding and supportive, but the sad fact is that some aren't. Some simply cannot wrap their heads around something that is out of their norm, and I don't think we can push him to be honest without knowing the whole story.
Sadly, sometimes honesty isn't the best policy.
re: i want to get ballet stuff but dont want parents to know
By Old_Ballet_Dude
On Wed Jan 13, 2010 05:57 AM
That's a great piont. Some parents, especially fathers have a hard time accepting the fact that ballet will not "turn you gay" just because you have to wear tights and be around a lot of girls. Old prejudices die hard.
re: i want to get ballet stuff but dont want parents to know
By dancingdawg
On Fri Feb 12, 2010 12:11 PM
Dude, I wish I had had the courage to start in high school. just find you a good place to hide your stuff if you don't want the parents to find them.

I would talk with your parents though, who knows, maybe they will support you. Show them some stuff about Baryshnikov, Billy Elliot, etc. who knows, maybe they will buy you shoes, tights, and all the other clothing.
re: i want to get ballet stuff but dont want parents to know
By PerfectFeet
On Thu Feb 25, 2010 04:50 PM
Don't make a big deal about the clothes and shoes. Tuition would be the most likely deal-breaker, but it's usually free or discounted for males, so keep that in mind.

I only started when I was 27, and I'm 29 now. I wish I had had the courage and exposure to ballet that would have been necessary back when I was really young. But my dad is a gun-carrying, racist homophobe, and there is no way that he would have been supportive if I had brought it up as a kid. It's a shame. I hope you don't hold off, because I wish I would have been dancing since I was your age!
re: i want to get ballet stuff but dont want parents to know
By MattH95
On Fri Apr 02, 2010 08:26 PM
Hey im in the exact same position as you I am 15 and realy want to start ballet because I have allways wanted to do it I have a shop that is in biking distance from my house and like 3 schools in my area I still havnt told my parents what should I do to tell them that I want to start dancing and I dont have the finances to pay for it hahaha I am quite strong in my legs allready because in the summer months I do rowing I hope that this will help my rowing and get me more freinds
re: i want to get ballet stuff but dont want parents to know
By fleshjazzpants
On Thu May 20, 2010 10:24 PM
do what you do! stop worrying about what other people do! Support yourself before you can expect others to support you! If you want to dance, dance. People won't help you in the world so don't allow them to have that much power over your future, and your dreams.
re: i want to get ballet stuff but dont want parents to know
By balletlad20
On Wed Jun 09, 2010 08:44 AM
Have to agree just get out there and give it a go, in terms of buying dancewear every one in the shops always sooooo helpfull. Ballet is such an amzing sport and art form, and (not that theres anything wrong with it) but whats gay about dancing with beautiful women! Good Luck
re: i want to get ballet stuff but dont want parents to know
By stormshadow
On Tue Jun 22, 2010 11:48 PM
Oh this is one of those great all too familiar stories. First off, if you really want to dance, then just go by yourself and get some stuff with whatever money you've got saved up. It's their job to help you, not laugh at you. Second, if you don't want your parents to know, I supposed you could keep your stuff in a backpack and tucked away in some far off corner in the back of your closet. Find a studio nearby, and see about how to get there if you don't have a car, and take a few classes. After a while, if you have the confidence to tell your parents, try it. After you've been dancing for some time and they see how beneficial it's been for you, they'd probably be very understanding. I personally don't know your home situation, but that's at least the best advice I can offer.
re: i want to get ballet stuff but dont want parents to know
By Nutcracker_Boy
On Wed Jun 23, 2010 11:19 AM
Ryanlikesballet started this thread last October, but never updated us. Come on Ryan, let us know if you started taking class or moved on to something else.
re: i want to get ballet stuff but dont want parents to know
By se81ballet
On Thu Jun 24, 2010 12:15 AM
I was thinking the same thing when I saw this topic was still active.
re: i want to get ballet stuff but dont want parents to know
By balletisawesome
On Sun Jun 27, 2010 03:55 PM
well im in the same boat as Ryan is, and i do dance a little bit, but im kinda scared to take classes in my town right now, so i'll just wait till im 18, and the 1st thing i'll do when im dropped off at college is find the arts department :]
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