When I started many years ago I tried so hard to make everyone happy. I took everyones advice did what the parents wanted, songs that parents and students liked, etc... I had some parents who went with the flow and others who wanted to take control of EVERYTHING!! I have moved to a new studio and made up my mind that when this year started i would take back control of my studio, curriculum, and creative control! I started off by cracking down with my competition team. Making choices that would be the best for the studio, the team, and all of the members. Some people did not like the truth and fairness of the changes so they left. Some didn't like that I made all team members take a minimum of 2 technique classes a week, but I was tired of low technique scores because parents didn't want the extra classes. I had some leave because of that. I have been enforcing late fees on unpaid tuition, people don't like that. Through all of the bad I feel that I am weeding out all of the bad eggs that have sucked me dry for years. I feel like a new person, the joy of dancing has been reborn in me. I have more fun with my students, more fun with my choreagraphy, and more fun with life. It is just awful that I had to become (in a way) a bad person to become a better person.

Well done!
I think more than 50% of us had to learn it the hard way. We recognize ourselves in your story.
Keep yourself happy! No one else will do it for you.

Congrats on all the changes you've made! And I don't think you're a bad person. I think you figured out by trial and error what you wanted and what you didn't want in your studio, and now you're communicating that and sticking to it. It's a hard thing to learn to do, but in the long run, it's best for everyone: You, your students, their parents, and even the students and parents who decide to go elsewhere. Nowhere is it written that we're obligated to give everyone everything they want. All we're obligated to do is be clear and honest about what we do and the way we do it.

It took me awhile also, but I finally reached a point where I realized that I didn't owe everyone exactly what they wanted (which isn't doable anyway because everyone wants something different); I owed them a clear and concise explanation of what I offered and what I didn't, and why. I know my particular take on things won't work for everyone, so when that happens, I acknowledge that, wish them all the best, and send them on their way. Those who are truly looking for something different move on, and they should. Those who were just trying to see how far they could get usually wind up staying.

Trial by fire is how most of us achieve clarity. I certainly have had my tush handed to me for many transgressions and missteps in running my business.

It's taken me a LOOOOOONG time, 3 different dance businesses and an extraordinary midlife crisis to help clarify what I kept doing wrong.

We get to where we get whenever we end up getting there.

Remember that like attracts like and if you are a doormat, you will attract those who are only to happy to step on you. If you insist on enforcing personal and professional boundaries, you will attract a clientele that follows rules.

You should be very pleased at your new empowered moment. There is nothing more gratifying than calling your own shots in your life.

Bravo to you!! I know it is hard at first to "stick to your guns"... especially if you generally like harmony! Just remember that next year will be even easier because your existing students and parents will already know your rules and requirements and will have accepted them. And new dancers and parents won't know any other way but YOUR way!

Isn't it nice to "enjoy" your passion once again??!!

tapgirl1 wrote:

Bravo to you!! I know it is hard at first to "stick to your guns"... especially if you generally like harmony!

Isn't it ironic that when we try to create "harmony" by not creating clear boundaries, it creates all kinds of internal discord? And how "fighting" to stay true to yourself generally creates a greater sense of inner peace?

Interesting.

^ So true!!

I was just like you when I started. I was so afraid of losing people that I let them walk over me but that only last for a few years and I found it was bad, so I started cracking down. I lost a few, but not as many as I thought that I would.

I found that when I was more professional and business-like, I starting getting a different breed of parents signing the kids up and had less issues.

Good for you. I guess we need to experience the bad before we realize what we need to do.

Thank you all so much for your encouraging words. Yes, it does feel good to say "enjoy" again after a few years of lacking the joy. I know I have done some things wrong and I have learned from them. I look forward to being a better, stronger, and smarter teacher, business owner, and person. I know I might not always make everyone happy, but I have learned that one bad apple spoils the bunch and I have just been getting rid of some bad apples.